


What Doesn't Kill You - Part 2

by gatergirl79



Series: What Doesn't Kill You [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Background Castiel/Dean Winchester - Freeform, Background Dean Winchester/Benny, Bottom Sam, Broken Gabriel, Domestic Fluff, Dysfunctional Family, Father-Daughter Relationships, Friends to Lovers, Gabriel trying to live a normal life, Getting Together, Human Gabriel, M/M, NO BETA!!!!!!, Oral Sex, Reworking of Season 8, Rough Sex, Season/Series 09 Spoilers, Slow Burn, Trials, Trials of Hell
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2018-08-31 14:12:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 88,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8581591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gatergirl79/pseuds/gatergirl79
Summary: After six months on the road alone, Sam get the surprise of his life when his brother returns. Things aren't right between them and when a fake text from Dean sends him racing back to Gabriel and Claire, things only become worse, because Dean isn't ready to face his brother's bisexuality, especially when he can't face his own feelings for Castiel. Luckily there is something more important happening, The trials test everyone and their relationship.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I had originally intended to post this as one whole fic but I've decided to split it in half. 
> 
> Reminder, this hasn't been Beta read, so will contain mistakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This half picks up a year after the end of chapter 7; Sam is hunting on his own, helped on occasion by Garth. He's struggling with his separation from Claire and Gabriel but is respecting Gabriel's wish never to see him again.
> 
> This half of the story contains spoilers for season 8, (Seeing as it is a season 8 re-working) and will obviously contain episode dialogue, though it in some cases will have been tweaked. Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Oh, and there be Destiel ahead. (Sorry, but they are my OTP, they had to make an appearance eventually)

That call never came. For over a year Sam waited for it, every time his cell rang he hoped it was Gabriel begging him to come home, but it never was. So he just kept travelling. Working. Sometimes with Garth, sometimes alone. He'd thought about just going back without an invite, then the thought would hit him that they'd probably moved on.

When that thought hit him he would call. He'd talk to Claire for a while, listen as she filled her in on what was happening, her soft voice a comfort in the chaos. He never asked about Gabriel, and she never offered anything. The agreed silently that the calls were between them.

When he hung up he'd hit the nearest bar, always going back to his shitty motel with the first girl to look his way, never enjoying a moment of what followed.

For a while he'd thought it might have been that he was no longer stimulated by woman, but after a disastrous and humiliating encounter with a young man in Philadelphia, he knew that wasn't the case. It wasn't _who_ he was having sex with, but who he _wasn't_.

But frustrated, angry, worthless sex was better than no sex, wasn't that what Dean had always said. - Those encounters though, were few and far between, thankfully. Instead he got his rocks off killing monsters, hunting down what remained of the Leviathan hordes, searching for any news on Kevin and waiting, hoping Dean would find a way out of Purgatory somehow. Over the months the calls home became fewer, shorter, until he just stopped calling. It just hurt too much, taunting him with what he'd always wanted but could never have.

Then he'd returned to the cabin after a hunt, hoping for a few hours of drunken oblivion to find his big brother waiting for him.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

"We were trying." Sam snapped when Dean accused him of not caring. Of not _trying_ to save him. "But there was no way to get into Purgatory!"

Dean's shoulders slumped as he dropped down on the couch, his head in his hands.

"Dean?"

"So what have you been doing this last year?" Dean asked; glancing up through his lashes.

What was Sam meant to say to that? He couldn't possible tell his big brother that he'd started his year of hell falling in love with an ex-archangel? Sam's breath caught in his throat. He'd never actually acknowledged that fact, never allowed himself to think on why he'd spent the last ten months, miserable, drunk and angry. How had that even happened?

"Sam?"

"Hunting."

Dean stared at him. "Alone?"

"Mostly?" Sam replied; getting to his feet and turning to fetch himself another beer. "Sometimes with Garth." he could feel his brother's eyes burning into his back but he refused to turn back and meet them.

"What about Kevin?"

"Haven't heard or seen him since Crowley skipped town with him."

"Have you even looked?" Dean snapped.

Sam spun to glare furiously at his brother, clearly Dean was pressing for a fight. Fine, he'd give him one. "Of course I was looking!" he yelled. "But how am I meant to find a kid without an angel to sniff him out! And no god damn idea where to even start looking. Crowley's keeping his head down, and the demon's I did find knew nothing!" he winched at his own harsh word when he saw Dean pale.

When Dean had told him about Cas, the blinkers had fallen from his eyes. The look on Dean's face, the broken way he'd said Cas hadn't made it, the haunted look he'd caught in his brother tired eyes moments before he turned away, it was all too familiar. He saw it in the mirror daily. Gabriel had been right. But then wasn't he always? "I…"

"Well the smarter brother is back in town." Dean brushed off, getting to his feet. "We'll find him."

"How exactly?"

Dean didn't reply, stepping into the back room. Sam watched him, taking a deep breath he retook his seat at the table, pulling out his phone and staring down at it. A small voice whispered to text Gabriel, tell him the tragic news about Cas. He went so far as to type out the text, but as he stared at the words, his heart pounding in his chest, he shook his head. Hitting cancel he dropped the phone with a quiet bang on the table top.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

Sam blamed his obsession over losing Gabriel as the reason he hadn't thought of tracking Kevin down via his girlfriend. Thankfully the kid wasn't smart enough to cover his tracks. Dean had grinned proudly, as it finding Kevin when Sam hadn't proved he truly _was_ the smarter better brother and Sam just let him think it. He really didn't care all that much.

They tracked him eventually to an abandoned church, to be greeted with a shower of detergent and holy water. Well at least they were clean, Dean had scoffed before demanding to know how Kevin had gotten away from Crowley.

Kevin told them how the tablet had given him the means. How he'd tricked Crowley and his minions to gather the ingredients for his anti-demon bomb.

"Of course they thought they were helping me open the gates of hell. I had to throw in a few red-herrings to throw them off. Things I thought sounded realistic."

"Red-herrings?" Dean frowned intrigued.

"Yeah." Kevin smirked. "You know. An empty holy vessel, the foreskin of god." he chuckled lightly.

Dean laughed too. "Foreskin of God?"

"Yeah. There's one in the Vatican apparently."

"Holy vessel?" Sam swallowed, a pit opening up.

Kevin looked at him; shrugging. "I just needed to distract them."

Sam was on his feet in a second. "And you didn't think about who'd get caught in the crossfire!" he snapped furiously.

Kevin frowned. "What?"

"An empty holy vessel? Do know how many there are of those on earth? Do you?"

"Sam?"

"Claire's mom died because you wanted a distraction!" Sam spat.

"Claire?" Kevin looked between the two brothers, noting that Dean looked just as confused.

"Sammy?"

"Claire Novak. Remember? Cas is riding around in her dad's meat suit. She was a vessel too Dean and they went after her!"

Dean swallowed hard, looking back at Kevin.

"I need some air!" Sam grunted; turning furiously and marching out of the broken down church.

He couldn't believe Claire had lost her mom because of Kevin. That she's almost been taken. He felt sick, his heart hammering. The thought of what could have happened to her. He pressed the balls of his hands into his eyes and inhaled.

"Sammy?" Dean asked quietly behind him. "You alright?"

"Fine." Sam grunted through his hands.

Dean moved up beside him. "I don't believe that. What happened while I was gone?"

"Nothing. - I… - I saved Claire from the demons Kevin sent after her." Sam hissed coldly, lifting his gaze to glare back at the church accusingly.

Dean frowned. "Where is she?"

"Safe."

" _Where_?"

Sam turned to look at him. "Why'd you want to know?" he asked cautiously.

Dean shrugged, turning to lean over the rotted banister. "Just…curious I guess?"

Sam watched him for a moment. "She's in Pennsylvania."

"With?"

Sam swallowed. "A friend. - What are we going to do about Kevin?" he asked; desperate to derail the conversation before he said too much.

He didn't know why he didn't just tell Dean about Gabriel. That he'd escaped Purgatory when Dean and Cas had been sucked in, that he was living in a house in Pennsylvania with Claire Novak. Living a normal life. - He didn't have to mention the fact that they'd developed…a thing, that they'd had sex, or that he was in love with the ex-angel.

"I don't know." Dean shook his head.

The decision of what to do with Kevin however was swiftly taken out of their hands when a couple of demons showed up not three feet away, one of which being Kevin's girlfriend. His now very _possessed_ girlfriend.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

Sam stared down at his cell. The last few weeks had left him with no time to think about Gabriel and Claire, no time to wonder if they were okay. Dealing with Kevin, Crowley and Kevin's mom, not to mention Aztec gods, werewolves, and Sam's now ex-wife, was exhausting and distracting.

But as always the ex-angel found a way to the forefront of his mind when he least expected it and now it was worse than ever. He'd thought having Dean back would knock him back into reality. That whatever he'd felt for the now human archangel would fade away; after all he'd only felt whatever because he was lonely and missing his brother, right? That's what he had told himself at the time.

Only it wasn't. Only Dean being there was just making him miss Gabriel more. The sound of his brother's breathing as he slept in the bed across from him irritated and bit at Sam's last nerve. Dean's sarcasm frustrated him in a way it hadn't before, and the more they travelled, the more Sam wanted to go home. Wanted to just throw in the towel, leave Dean to saving the world and head back to Pennsylvania. Closing the gates of hell be damned.

His thoughts were interrupted as Dean staggered out of the bathroom, pale with wide eyes, Cas a few steps behind him. Sam leapt to his feet, his phone and Gabriel forgotten in the face of their returned friend.

"Cas?" he whispered; shocked.

"Sam." the angel nodded, walking over to take a seat at the table, tired, dirty and confused.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

Sam didn't like it. Not the having Cas back part, that was fantastic, no what he didn't like was not knowing _how_ he'd gotten back. It had taken an exploding Dick to pull Gabriel out of Purgatory, and while he'd not known how he'd gotten out, he'd never suffered blackouts. He'd never stared into space like a broken toy robot. It happened rarely, but it was enough to have Sam nervous. Cas had already gone wacko once; he didn't think neither he nor Dean could handle it happening again. - Of course Dean as ever was burying his head in the sand, refusing to talk about it, refusing to so much as acknowledge there was anything wrong. He'd just taken Cas under his wing so to speak, allowing him to join them on the hunt.

Sam wondered if this was the perfect time to call Gabriel. He had a reason right? He was concerned about Cas. This wasn't about _them_.

He never did though. He just followed Dean's example and buried his head in the sand, and waited for the inevitable shit to hit the fan.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

The call he'd been waiting over a year for finally came when he was preparing to hunt down Dean's good friend Benny with Martin. His phone had vibrated in his pocket and when he'd tugged it out and he saw a message from Claire just saying **HELP** , he hadn't even hesitated, he'd boosted a car and hit the road. He didn't even tell Dean he was going.

**___What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

The drive to Cambridge Springs was torture, all Sam could think about was what if Crowley had found them. That _something_ had found them. His heart had never beaten so fast. - Okay that was a lie, but it had been a long time since he was _this_ scared. - The images of the pair being pinned to ceilings on fire slammed into him three hours from Floodwood; making the air flee his lungs and a cold sweat to cover his back.

He yanked out his phone, and hit Claire's number only for the operator to say the line was unavailable. He scrolled down to Gabriel, but that line just rang out, grunting angrily he threw the cell across the seat with such force it bounded off the passenger side door and landed on the floor, then he hit the gas.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

The stolen Toyota screamed up the dirt track to the house. All the lights were out and it was eerily silent. Throwing open the car door, not bothering to close it behind him, he drew his weapon and ran up the stairs, not even think twice about kicking the door down.

A loud scream filled the room and he turned sharply, weapon raised to fire when he saw Claire staring at him breathless and shocked. Beside her a young man of about her age, his face pale with terror. Sam looked between them and reality crashed into him.

"S-Sam?" Claire gasped shocked.

Sam stood shock still before finally regaining his senses and lowering his gun, swallowing the relief. He was about to apologize and bow out when suddenly he had an arm full of teenager, Claire gripping him time, holding him close, her face buried in his chest. He could feel his shirt dampening as he stood there and he lifted his arms to snake around her, squeezing just as tightly, his nose dropping to inhale her scent.

After a long intense moment, Sam pushed Claire gently away, looking down at her big red eyes, before they flickered over her shoulder to the young man who stood…nervously a few feet away. "Who's this?"

Claire cleared her throat and turned to look at the boy. "Oh uh…this is…Isaac. - My boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?" he pressed, looking at the younger man, his eyes racking over him, assessing his worth. He was tall, slim but toned with blonde curls, blue eyes and sharp cheek bones. Overall Sam would say he was kinda good looking, if you were into that kind of thing. Sadly the kid also looked terrified of him but Sam wasn't going to complain about that.

"Yes, _boyfriend_." Claire snapped defensively.

"Gabriel lets you date?" Sam frowned. He'd kinda pictured Gabriel being the whole stay away or I'll drop your ass kind of guardian. - Or maybe that was him.

"Dad's fine with it. - Well, he's fine with Isaac." Claire smiled warmly over at the nervous young man. "Oh…Isaac this is my… _other_ dad, Sam."

Sam wasn't sure if the kid looked more fearful or less. Something told Sam the kid was always tense, caution and it made him feel a little guilty for scaring him, so he cleared his throat and took an uncertain step forward, his hand out stretched.

"Uh…Sir." Isaac said quietly, bowing his head respectfully as he shook Sam's large hand.

Sam looked at him for a long moment and caught the tell-tell sign of a bruise healing beneath his eyes and knew just what kind of home the kid came from. He smiled warmly and squeezed his hand in a silent signal that everything was okay. Though he really wasn't sure how he felt about being called sir. It made him feel….old. He nodded as he finally released the hand. "It's good to meet you Isaac, but…well would you mind giving us…"

"Of course." Isaac said in a rush, cutting Sam off as he snatched his jacket off the floor. "I'll see you tomorrow, Claire. Goodnight, Sir." he nodded practically running out of the house, having the forethought to pull the door closed behind him. Not that it stayed closed, seconds later it swung open on its broken hinges.

"Sir?" Sam wrinkled his nose, he _really_ didn't like that.

Claire laughed lightly. "He gets nervous but he's really sweet and funny." she cooed; finally pulling out of Sam's embrace and stepping away. She flicked on the lamp by the couch and filled the room with a warm golden glow.

It took Sam's eyes a moment to adjust but when they did he glanced around. The place hadn't changed much, some new furniture here and there. The TV and couch were obviously new. "Where's Riot?"

Claire lifted glasses and a pizza box of the table. "With Dad." she stated matter-of-factly.

Sam felt his heart skip at the word; knowing she meant Gabriel. "He just leaves you alone in the house with your boyfriend?"

Claire smiled at him on her way to the kitchen. "He likes Isaac. He trusts him. And more importantly…" she continued from the kitchen. "He trusts me to kick Isaac in the nuts if he tries to over step my boundaries."

Sam smiled soft but sadly at that.

Claire strolled back in a moment later. "So what's with the bursting in guns blazing?" she asked with concern.

Sam finally realized he was still gripping his weapon and moved to stuff it into his waistband. "I… - Guns _weren't_ blazing. - I…I thought you were in trouble. I got…." he clenched his jaw furiously as the pieces slotted into place. "A prank text."

Claire looked horrified. "I…who…sorry."

"Why? It's not your fault." he shuffled his feet and looked around the room again.

"He's with Harvey and the guys. They have poker night Fridays. He'll probably be home soon."

Sam sucked in a sharp breath. "Then I should…"

"Don't go." Claire said quickly; rushing forward. " _Please_. I haven't seen you in…" she swallowed the tears that were crawling up her throat.

"I don't know Claire, I'm pretty sure he won't want me hanging around."

"Well _I_ do. - At least stay until he comes home."

Sam was torn, he wanted to stay, he wanted to spend time with Claire, hear all about school and this boyfriend, make up for the time they'd lost. - And he wanted to see Gabriel. He did. He'd been wanting to see him since…forever, but he didn't want a fight. He didn't want the awkward discomfort that would inevitably come from them meeting.

"He misses you too." Claire said suddenly. "He doesn't say it, but I know he does."

Sam sucked in another breath and closed his eyes, shaking his head. That was the last thing he needed to hear, even if it was the best thing he'd heard in months.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

"He's…back?" Claire whispered; staring at the floor, her eyes brimming with tears.

Sam had spent the last hour telling her all about his year, or at least what had happened since he'd stopped calling. He'd known telling her about Cas was going to be difficult and weird, he was her father yet… _not_.

"Is he….alright?" she asked quietly.

Sam wanted to say no, he wasn't alright. That something was off with him but he couldn't put his finger on it but that was a conversation to be had with Gabriel. "Yeah."

Claire nodded; falling silent for a few minutes. "I…he's not my dad, I know that, but…"

"I know." Sam nodded; wrapping an arm around her shoulders and squeezing tight.

"I'm glad he's back. Dean too." she smiled sadly up at Sam and his heart skipped. "Do you want something to drink?" Claire asked suddenly; leaping to her feet.

Sam knew what she was doing. What she needed. "Yeah." he nodded.

She vanished into the kitchen and Sam sighed; tugging out his phone to stare at the message, anger bubbling up inside him. He had to be sure so he hit the call back, and waited as it rang out. When he heard his brother's voice his fingers curled into a white knuckled fist.

"Help? Nice one. Swapping Claire's phone out for a burner." he shook his head. "Sending a distress signal. - Got me good. When you do that?"

"A while ago, in case I needed it. Looks like I made the right call."

"And if I'd needed to call her. - What then?"

Dean was silent on the other end of the line for a few harsh breaths. "It was the only way to get you to lay off." he replied instead, defensively.

Sam closed his eyes and clenched his jaw tight. "So is it done?" dragging his hand through his hair.

"Yeah, it's done."

"Any causalities?"

"Martin."

Sam dropped his head into his hand, his heart pounding and his anger increasing. "Was it Benny?" he growled furiously.

"He had it coming Sam. I'll tell you what happened…"

"I know what happened, Dean!" Sam snapped furiously, leaping to his feet to pace the room.

"Okay, you want to listen to me or not?"

 _Not_. Sam thought, cancelling the call and throwing the phone on the coffee table. Breathing heavily, he pace quickly, trying to calm despite knowing there was nothing that would calm him right then. He couldn't believe Dean was seriously trying to defend a vampire after it killed Martin. What was that? Who was he? He didn't even know his brother anymore.

"Sam?"

He turned sharply to stare at Gabriel with wide shocked eyes while Riot tackling his legs excitedly. "Huh…Hi." he whispered.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

A year to Gabriel once felt like a blink of the eye, there then gone. He never really noticed the differences, it was just the same shit, different number. Now though a year felt like eternity. Painfully long. Never ending. And it was made worse by the constant feeling of loss he'd had since throwing Sam out. Losing his grace hadn't left him feeling so empty.

He'd heard the clichés. _Time heals all wounds. - There are plenty more fish in the sea_. - _Sam didn't deserve him anyway_. And they were all true, that's why they were clichés. The problem was time _didn't_ heal shit, at least as far as Gabriel could tell, because it had been over a year since he'd last seen Sam and he still had an ache in his chest where the pig-headed hunter had ripped his heart out. Seriously; Lucifer running him through had felt less agonizing. - And it wasn't like he'd expected to actually feel anything for the Cro-Magnon dumb-ass in the first place, it had just kinda snuck up on him and taken him over.

It was kind of humiliating too. He, Gabriel, Archangel, Trickster, had been brought to his pathetic human knees by Sam fucking Winchester.

As far as there being plenty more fish in the sea, again totally true, and Gabriel had gone fishing. Had caught a couple of pretty, less pig-headed fish over the past year, and had thrown them back into the pound the second he realized none of them were as perfect as Sam. - Didn't mean he hadn't played with them first though.

Gabriel had lost his new human V-Card in the back of a bar eight months ago on a drunken night out with Rita, Annabella and Harvey. - And had hated every second of it. Okay maybe not _every_ second, but he hadn't walked away feeling particularly satisfied. Since then he'd basically just worked and spent his weekends playing poker with the guys or going out with Rita, never wanting or trying to hook-up.

Life wasn't perfect but at least it was a life. The only thing about his new existence as a human that gave him any glimmer of happiness was Claire. He didn't know why he'd never had kids. No, he did, it was forbidden, but then when had he cared about what was forbidden? It was forbidden to abandon heaven and become a friggin' pagan god, hadn't stopped him from doing it. Maybe he'd just never found the right woman. - Or guy. - Maybe he just wasn't suited to being a father back then, he'd liked his free-will too much.

"Gabriel?"

He shook himself out of his thoughts and stared at the tall figure in front of him, a sight for very sore eyes. His heart thundered painfully against his ribs as they watched each other cautiously. He looked good, but then Sam always looked good.

Gabriel had come to term a long time ago now with the possibility that he may have been carrying a torch for the hunter without even knowing it. What else could explain the endless attempts to save the giant shits life by keeping him from taking his destined path? Sure he'd told himself it was because he liked this little planet, because he didn't want to see all his father's hard work destroyed by his bickering brothers, but that only explained so much.

But Sam hadn't felt the same. Sure they'd shared a couple of heated kisses and one extremely intense morning of mutual gratification, but it hadn't meant anything. At least not to Sam.

So why was he back? What was he doing standing in Gabriel's home looking gorgeous and lost? "What are you doing here?" he demanded harshly.

Sam cleared his throat. "I…thought you were in danger." he answered honestly.

"We're not." Gabriel replied; glancing over his shoulder to the door. "You?" he thumbed at the busted wood.

Sam nodded sheepishly. "Yeah. I'll fix it."

"Damn straight you will." Gabriel spat.

He caught sight of movement and turned to see Claire strolling out of the kitchen, a glass of water in her hand and a bright smile on her face. She handed the glass to Sam and turned that beaming smile on Gabriel and he felt his chest tightened.

"Can you believe it? He came home." Claire said cheerfully, slipping an arm around Sam's waist and hugging him tight. "He scared the shit out of Isaac."

"I bet he did." Gabriel murmured; never taking his eyes off the hunter.

There was a tense silence before Claire let out a truly awful fake yawned and Stretching out her body so dramatically that Gabriel almost laughed. "Well I'm going to bed. Exciting evening." she threw her arms around Sam; hugging him tight and lifting herself up on tiptoes to press a kiss to the hunter's cheek, before whispering something in his ear.

Gabriel couldn't hear what she said but he could make a guess. Claire had been missing Sam almost as much as he had, if not more. After all she'd already lost one family, when Sam left she'd lost another.

She turned and walked back to Gabriel, gifting him with a kiss and a hug. "Don't make him leave." she whispered pleadingly before stepping back and heading for the stairs. "Riot. Come." she ordered, and the dog quickly rushed after her.

Gabriel sighed; pinching the bridge of his nose, Claire's plea heavy on his chest. He stepped further into the living area and just hovered, unable to think of what to do or say with Sam only a few feet away. After a moment and with his back to Sam, his eyes locked on the shelves of books like he'd never seen them before. "So…" he began uncertainly. "How have you been?"

"Terrible." Sam answered; his tone tired and cautious.

Gabriel forced himself not to turn and look at the man. "Hunting?"

"Of course."

They fell silent again for a long moment. "You can fix that door." Gabriel finally ordered. "Before you _leave_."

Sam sighed behind him and Gabriel heard the sound of a glass being set on wood. "The tool box still in the outhouse?"

Gabriel nodded and listened as Sam headed towards the kitchen and the back door.

The second he was alone he released the breath he'd been holding. This wasn't exactly how he'd imagined their reunion. He'd expected something a lot more…rom/com if he were honest, and he knew who to blame for that, Claire and her ridiculous family movie night choices. Those movies were so inaccurate, they never showed the intense discomfort of having the guy you loved and lost suddenly showing up in your house.

He needed a drink. Turning sharply he marched into the kitchen and yanked open the cabinet, pulling down the large bottle of tequila Rita had brought over last weekend. It hadn't been touched, they'd finished off the bottle of scotch Harvey had given Gabriel for his fake birthday instead while watching Friday the 13th. Rita bitched up a storm about the guy she'd been seeing who apparently didn't understand the term monogamous. The jerk was damn lucky Gabriel wasn't a trickster any more or the fucker would have found himself in receipt of some just deserts.

Gabriel didn't bother with the glass; he simply unscrewed the top and threw back a large burning gulp. Movement in the other room had him heading back to find Sam on his knees in front of the door, a screwdriver in his hand and his jacket draped over the arm of the couch. Gabriel stood watching the hunter with the bottle hanging from his fingers, unable to tear his gaze away from the toned muscles of his arm as he worked to mend what he'd broken. If only he was as keen to fix Gabriel.

Sighing wearily Gabriel marched over the couch and dropped down with a huff, throwing back yet more tequila. His night had started out so good, what the hell had he done to deserve this happening, now?

"I think I did more damage than I intended."

"Undoubtedly." Gabriel grunted. He heard Sam take a sharp intake of breath behind him but didn't turn to look. He locked his eyes on the blank TV screen and lost himself in drink. He liked drink. Drink helped.

"I'll have to get a new door, but I've given it a patch-up job for now." Sam continued.

Gabriel opened his mouth to make a sarcastic comment but was cut off by Sam's announcement.

"Dean's back."

Gabriel couldn't help but turn at that. "What?"

Sam didn't meet his intrigued gaze and Gabriel was very grateful for it. "He's back. He found a way out of purgatory."

Gabriel frowned. He'd tried to find a way out for years. "How?"

Sam grunted before putting the tools away and getting to his feet. Pushing the door closed till the lock caught, he retrieved the tool box then turned to finally meet the ex-angel's curious amber eyes and Gabriel hated, _HATED_ , the way his heart skipped. "Someone helped him." he answered through gritted teeth.

"Someone?"

Sam strolled into the living room and hovered over the armchair before lowering himself into it and setting the tool box on the floor beside him. "A vampire. He found Dean in purgatory and….help him find the escape hatch."

Gabriel frowned. "I - I didn't know there was a way out."

"Apparently god left it there in case human's got trapped…or whatever." he shrugged.

"And…Cas?" he whispered cautiously.

Sam dropped his gaze. "He…didn't escape with Dean."

"Meaning?"

"He's out now but he doesn't know how he got here. He says he doesn't remember but…" Sam glanced up at Gabriel. "You remembered how you got out, right?"

"Yeah, I guess. I mean…one minute I was there, next I was here. Not much to forget. - Is he…?"

"He's…he seems alright…"

"But?" Gabriel frowned shifting forward on the couch.

"He has these…moments, like he's blacking out or he's remembering something. There small, only last for a few seconds but… - Dean doesn't seem to notice or he's pretending not to, but I know something isn't right because that never happened with you."

Gabriel's brows furrowed deeper. "Have you asked him?"

"He says it's nothing. That he's still recovering from his escape."

"But you don't believe him?"

Sam shook his head.

"And that's why you're here, to ask me to what? Fix it? Talk to him?"

Sam glared up at him. "No! I'm _here_ because my jackass of a brother sent me a fake message saying you guys were in trouble so I wouldn't kill his fucking friend!" Sam snapped, still livid with his brother.

"You want to kill his friend?" Gabriel frowned confused.

"The vampire that got him out of Purgatory. Benny. - He's a vampire. We're hunters."

"And this Benny guys killing people?" Gabriel pressed, brows knitted deeply. Usually it was Dean who was all gung-ho about killing the monster in their mist.

Sam huffed. "Dean says not, but…he's a _vampire_."

"And you don't believe him?"

"What part of he's a vampire didn't you get?"

Gabriel scoffed. "I remember a time when it would have been you saving the vampires. - In fact I remember a certain nest you helped not get wiped out."

Sam glared. "How did you…? That was different."

"Because it was _your_ friendly vampires?" Gabriel scolded, laughing coldly.

"Because they weren't _killing_ anyone."

"And Dean says this Benny guy isn't killing anyone. - Dean trusted you back then, why can't you trust him now?"

Sam sighed wearily; dragging his hand down his face. He had no idea why he couldn't trust his brother like he used to. "Because he's…" he shrugged. "Something's off. Between us. - It's like he doesn't even listen to me anymore. I can't…" he exhaled heavily.

Gabriel leant back on the couch. "I don't know what you want me to say, Sam. Whatever's going on between you and your brother is between you two." with a huff Gabriel pushed himself off the couch. "It was nice seeing you. Have a nice life."

Sam rushed forward to grab the ex-angel's arm, halting him. "Gabriel."

"Sam." he sighed. "Don't. I…just go, okay. I can't do this." he shrugged off the hunters hand and marched to the door, pulling it open and waiting for the man to head towards him.

He watched Sam's face fall with regret and resignation, and part of Gabriel wanted to let him stay, forever if he wanted, but he knew what would happen if he did. Eventually the giant jackass would freak-out and hit the road, and probably him too, then Gabriel would be right back to where he was a year ago. So he fixed his eyes on Sam cold as he could manage and waited for the hunter to walk out of his life.

Sam snatched his jacket off the couch arm and shrugged into it before heading for the door, pausing to look down at Gabriel with a sad kicked puppy look. "I'm sorry, Gabe." he whispered before stepping out of the door.

Gabriel watched as the hunter paused on the front porch, as if trying to regain his bearings. Inhaling sharply Gabriel moved to close the door before he didn't something he'd regret, like asking the jackass to stay. The door had barely moved a few inches before Sam was turning and marching back to him, a look of steely determination and desire in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologised for this chapters, it was basically a filler. Like I said, I'd originally intended on splitting the story in two and this would have been the prologue to the second story. But I hope you enjoyed it nevertheless, and hopefully I'll have chapter 9 ready to post in the next couple of weeks.
> 
> END NOTES:
> 
> The foreskin of God think was inspired by an episode of QI, where we learnt about Jesus' foreskin and the Vatican. – The empty holy vessel, part? Well I had to answer why Claire was being targeted and it seemed like a logical reason.
> 
> And yes I totally did steal Isaac from Teen Wolf, but this is not going to be a crossover universe, I just needed someone I thought fit with my version of Claire and decided to go with a fellow countryman, so shoot me.


	2. Chapter 2

Gabriel staggered back under the weight of Sam's larger, heavier body till his back hit the post of the staircase. He knew he should be pushing Sam away, shoving him, punching him. – Kicking his arrogant ass out the door, but he couldn't, not when the giant asshole was kissing him so passionately, all he could do was hang on and enjoy the ride. Kissing him back with equal enthusiasm, his fingers curling into the lush brown hair he'd missed having tangled around his fingers. The angle was awkward, but it always was with their difference in height.

He felt the pressure on his back ease as he was manhandled away from the banister and towards the couch. Sam practically carrying him before they toppled back onto the large sofa cushions. Their lips parting only for a few minutes as they bounced and caught their breath. If Gabriel was going to call this quits, now was the time.

He didn't, instead, and against his own better judgement, he yanked Sam's head back down, reconnecting their mouths, their tongues battling for dominance. Groaning in victory, he pushed at Sam's jacket, fighting to get it off the larger man as their kiss deepened and they ground into one another desperately.

Gabriel grunted angrily as the jacket refused to move and Sam was forced to break away to rid himself of the offending fabric. He watch Sam with lust blown eyes as the younger man practically ripped it from his body, throwing it down beside the couch. Gabriel expected him to return to the kissing and had to suck in a surprised breath as Sam's shirt and tee swiftly followed, leaving the man naked from the waist up. Gabriel couldn't resist running his palms over the warm toned chest he hadn't touched in a year.

"Maybe we should take this upstairs?" Sam asked breathlessly, even as his hands fought to strip Gabriel of his own shirts. "Claire might…"

"She won't come back down until morning." Gabriel said confidently, pulling Sam back into another heated kiss.

"You…sure?" Sam murmured when he pulled back to drag the tee over Gabriel's head.

"Positive. She's learnt that lesson." He huffed, pleased at the green spark in Sam's gaze, jealousy was always the best aphrodisiac. Sam growled and launched himself at Gabriel once again. Kissing him deeply before moving to suck and nip at his neck, all the while their hips thrusting desperately at each other.

While Sam sucked a dark claiming bruise into his neck, Gabriel's hand dropped down between them, fumbling with the fastening of Sam's jeans. There was a little voice in the back of his head telling him he was going to regret this. That he shouldn't let Sam do this to him again, and it sounded a lot like Annabella, but he ignored her, just like when she'd tried to talk him out of quitting his job at the school, because he had to do what felt right, and right now this felt…wonderfully perfect. He'd deal with the aftershock…after.

He was pulled out of his thought's and doubts by Sam's large rough hand slipping beneath the confines of his own jeans, and threw his head back with a loud groan. He closed his eyes as the sensations engulfed him.

Lifting his hand, he tangled his fingers in Sam's hair, violently pulling him down to recapture his mouth. Loving the mix of Sam and tequila on his tongue, as the hunter worked him rough and quick, his hips snapping up into the calloused palm.

"I've…missed…" Sam panted between kisses, his groin rubbing insistently against the ex-angel's thigh. "…you."

Gabriel groaned into the hot open mouth. That was the last thing he'd expected to come from Sam, and part of him thought it was the last thing he wanted to hear, because he'd missed him too. "Yeah. Me t…to." He panted, thrusting his tongue filthily into the hunter's mouth, causing them both to moan pathetically. His hands untangled themselves from the younger man's hair to slide down his back and beneath the waistband of his jeans, squeezing the firm orbs as he thrust violently with his tongue and hips.

The heavy knock on the front door had them pulling apart breathlessly and frustrated. Gabriel craned his head to glance at the hall.

"Ignore it." Sam insisted, going back to kissing and grinding, drawing Gabriel back into their bubble of passion and lust.

Another louder, heavier knock had Sam yanking his hand away from Gabriel's dick and scrambling angrily off the couch. "Don't move." He growled before marching determinedly towards the door.

Gabriel's heart and dick jumped at the same instant and the only movement he made was to kick off his jeans and underwear as he heard Sam hurriedly rush towards and yank open the front door.

/*\/*\/*\

Sam clenched his jaw as he reached for the door. Whoever it was, was going to be getting a fuck the hell off the second he opened it, because he was finally back with Gabriel. After a year apart and longer running from what he was feeling, nothing and no one was going to stop them now. He needed this and it was so good. He hadn't felt this good in ages. – Years in all honesty.

Wrapping his fingers around the handle he yanked it violently and froze, his eyes going wide and his face paling. "Dean?"

"Who'd you expect?"

Before he could stop him, his brother stepped over the threshold and marched into the house, Sam letting the door swing close as he rushed to catch up. "Long drive?" he asked coldly, then froze, taking in the pale shock on Dean's face as he stared at the couch. Sam turned with a groan at the sight of Gabriel, naked and grinning at them.

"Hey Dean-o, welcome back. How was the vacation?" Gabriel laughed dismissively, not even bothering to cover himself.

Sam looked from the ex-angel to his brother. "Uh…Gabriel put some clothes on!" he snapped.

"What the hell's going on?" Dean yelled.

"I would have thought a man of the world such as you could figure that out Dean-o. I know you're not _that_ dumb."

"Gabriel! Shut up and get dressed!" Sam snapped, shifting uncomfortably under Dean's acid glare.

"Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?" Gabriel yelled back. "You were happy to get me naked ten seconds ago. Oh, but now big brother's here its back to step one, huh?" Gabriel growled dangerously, snatching up his underwear and stepping into them. – Not to save Dean's blushes, but he didn't want Claire to see him naked as he marched past her room. – "You know what, Winchester? I've had it with your gay crisis shit, get the fuck out of my house and take your moronic brother with you!" with that he snatched up his clothes and stormed up the stairs. "Oh and _don't_ come back!" he yelled over his shoulder.

"Gabriel!" Sam called, then growled furiously to himself, pinching the bridge of his nose. "What are you doing here Dean?"

"I was about to ask you the same question." Dean snapped angrily, confused. "And what's this?" he waved at the couch, his nose wrinkling in disgust.

Sam huffed, his spine straightening. "Like he said, it's pretty obvious." He folded his arms over his bare chest and waited for the fall-out.

"So what I get sucked into purgatory and you become a fairy? And with him? How is he even alive?" Dean spat.

"I'm not… - I…. He got thrown out when you and Cas got pulled in."

"He was in purgatory?" Dean frowned.

"Yeah."

"And when he got spat out, instead of trying to find a way to get me and Cas out, you decided to fuck him? – Though with your track record I shouldn't be surprised, you got a thing for screwing monsters!"

"Hey!" Sam snapped, taking a step forward. "He's not a monster, he's an angel. – You know, like _Cas_! – Or at least he was. He's human now and I don't owe you any explanations, Dean. My private life is _mine_. I looked. _We_ looked. There was no way to get you out of purgatory."

"So you gave up and shacked up, huh?" Dean glared, looking around the house.

Sam took a deep breath. "What are you doing here Dean?" he repeated frustratingly, there was no talking to Dean at times like this and frankly he wanted his brother to leave so he could try and fix the shit with Gabriel.

Dean glared at him for a long moment, his whole body tense, disgust printed all over his face. "You hung up on me."

"Yeah well I heard all I needed to hear." Sam replied furiously.

"No, you heard what you _wanted_ to hear. I told you Benny wasn't killing, hell I watched him end the fang-banger that was."

"What about Martin? How'd he end that?"

"Stupid, just like I said it would. The crazy son of a bitch didn't give Benny a choice. It was self-defence."

Sam shook his head, unable to believe what he was hearing. "Seriously Dean? That's the story you're going with, that the vampires the real victim here?"

"Well like it or not that's the truth. There was a time when that actually meant something." Dean grumbled, meeting his brother's eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, no kidding." Sam scoffed, turning to pace. He wanted to believe Dean, wanted to trust his judgement. Gabriel had been right about one thing, there had been a time where he hadn't seen all vampires as monsters. Where he could believe that one wouldn't feed, but a lot had changed over the years. He had trouble trusting his friends since Cas. Was it really so hard to understand his reluctance to trust Benny?

"Is this because of _him_?" Dean snapped behind him. "You've been weird ever since I got back. Has that dick been messing with your head?"

Sam turned to glare at his brother, his gaze hard. "This has nothing to do with Gabriel?" he spat angrily.

"Doesn't it?"

"No! This is about us. About you saving a vampire by making me believe the people I love might be dead."

Dean stared at him, eyes wide.

A suffocating silence fell between them, the pair stared at one another, waiting, challenging. Sam could see the confusion and disgust in his brother's hard green gaze but he couldn't bring himself to care, he was tired and angry, and just wanted to crawl into bed next to a warm body and forget the life for a few hours.

"What do you want to hear, Sam?" Dean said, his tone as weary as Sam's. "That I was wrong? Fine. I was wrong okay. – But if you had just heard me out, if you had _trusted_ me, all of this could have been avoided."

"You didn't want me to trust you, you wanted me to trust Benny, and I can't do that." Sam replied harshly; his tone cold. He watched Dean turn away, dragging his hand through his hair.

"Right, well then what the hell do we do now? Are you staying here? – With him?"

Sam sighed. "I guess that depends on you, and whether or not you're done with _Benny_?"

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm done, if you are."

"What?"

"You heard me?" Dean met Sam's eyes.

Sam frowned. "Are you serious?" he gaped. He shook his head unable to believe his brother. "Leave." He growled.

"Sam."

" _Go_ Dean."

Dean glared as he marched past his brother, his eyes hard and cold. "Glad I made the drive." He spat throwing open the door.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

Gabriel watched from the bedroom window, his arms folded over his chest. He stared at the moon bouncing off the roof of the Impala, while he listened to the muffled raised voices. When he'd reached the hall after his escape it was to find Claire staring at him with wide fearful and accusing eyes. Obviously having head him order Sam once again out of the house. He whispered that she should go back to bed before continuing on to his room, his clothes pressed to his chest. Once inside he'd just dumped the pile and marched over to the window.

He wasn't even sure if he hoped or feared that Sam would follow his orders. He kicked himself for letting Sam so much as kiss him, let alone get him all worked up. Gabriel groaned angrily, he'd lost himself at some point between returning from purgatory and that first kiss, he'd turned into a weak pathetic human. It wasn't the weakness of his physical form that angered him, it was the emotional baggage that had been dumped on his shoulders. He'd spent centuries priding himself on not caring, now all he seemed to do is care. Even for arrogant dicks that didn't deserve his love.

The slam of the front door had Gabriel's heart leaping into his throat, his eyes locked on the black car parked in the dirt driveway. His breath caught in his throat as he saw Dean marching towards his precious car, yanking the boot open violently. A cold sweat quickly peppering Gabriel's skin, then he straightened his spine. If Dean planned to kill him for having the nerve to touch his equally precious brother, well fine, he could come and try. It wasn't like Gabriel was meant to be on earth anyway, but he wouldn't go easily.

Sam followed his brother out into the night and stood apart watching. Gabriel swallowed hard as Dean slammed the boot and threw a familiar looking duffle into his kid brother's arms before stomping around to the driver's seat. He saw Dean say something but it was swallowed by the night and glass between them, then there were red tail lights fading into the distance, and he became lost watching them go.

"Gabriel?"

He didn't bother turning from the window at the sound of Sam's voice. "I thought I told you to fuck off?" he replied flatly, his arms folded over his bare chest and his sweats hanging low on his hips.

He heard the sound of something heavy hitting the floor behind him. It didn't take a genius to know it was the hunter's duffle bag. He remained still, staring up at the moon silently.

"You're not getting rid of me so easily. Not this time." Sam stated firmly.

Finally Gabriel turned to meet the taller man's gaze. "I could call the sheriff's office, report an intruder. – And the stolen car." He nodded behind him, out the window.

"What makes you think it's stolen?"

Gabriel stared at Sam with a raised brow, unimpressed and unamused.

Sam sighed, shrugging resignedly. I needed to get home. It was the fastest way. – I'm sorry for what I said downstairs. I was just…"

"Ashamed? Didn't want big bro thinking you were a fairy? A queer? A giant raging homo?" Gabriel's voice quickly grew louder and harder. That spark of archangel glowing beneath the surface. "You didn't want your wonderful perfect big brother to know you like dick, especially mine! Despite the fact that he's been practically making goo-goo eyes at Cas since day one!"

"Gabe." Sam sighed, taking a step forward, his eyes locked on the ex-angel. "I didn't want him seeing you naked, that doesn't mean I'm ashamed."

Gabriel scoffed disbelievingly, turning back to stare out the window, refusing to let himself believe, hope… _want_.

"And okay, maybe I didn't want Dean to find out about us by finding you naked on the couch, that doesn't mean I didn't want him to find out period. I've just walked back into the house, we've just…started this..." Sam took a deep breath. "I'm still adjusting to this Gabe, I've only been back a few hours." He whispered the last part against Gabriel's hair his large hands skimming over the ex-angel's hips, pulling him back to his chest.

Gabriel fought not to surrender, at least he told himself he'd fought, but Sam's warm solid form felt just too enticing, drawing him in. Sometimes he understood why Sam was his brother's true vessel. He was pure temptation, the kind that could make angels fall. - If he'd still been an angel.

He hated the soft moan that escaped his lips when Sam pressed his wet open mouth to the side of his throat, his head involuntarily tilting to the side to give the larger man better access, his eyes drifting closed no matter how hard he tried to stop them. Sam's long calloused fingers bit into his hips. He'd have bruises, there was no doubt in his mind about that.

He gave another desperate moan when Sam pressed his denim covered bulge into his lower back, heat scorching a path through his entire body. A heat he never thought he'd get over feeling, its intensity so impossible to comprehend. He panted a breath, his hand slipping behind him to take a firm hold of Sam's solid thigh. The taller man's mouth working diligently at the now tender skin of his neck. Sam's teeth occasionally sinking into the darkening flesh. A low growl rumbled free, but it wasn't his. The sound broke the final barrier. His final hope of remain aloof to the hunters charms.

Gabriel removed his hand from the denim clad thigh and drove his fingers into the lush length of Sam's hair, clenching tight as he dragged the mouth occupied with his throat away while turning his head to meet it. The kiss searing both of them. Sealing them together like two pieces of solid iron, their tongues battled and swirled around one another, drinking their fill, teeth pulling at lips. Lust fuelled every second like gasoline on an already raging inferno.

The ex-angel groaned into Sam's mouth when the hunter's hands slid beneath the lose band of sweatpants, forcing them easily down so they pooled at his feet. He absently kicked them aside with a sigh before pressing his naked ass against Sam's still clothed thighs. The groan he felt this time was his own as he ripped his mouth from Sam's only long enough to speak. "Need you. Now."

 

/*\/*\/*\

 

Sam gripped him by the neck and drag him back violently with a hand while his other slid over Gabriel's hips to wrap firmly around his swollen throbbing cock. The sensation of unfamiliar flesh and steel against his palm making his heart race faster, his blood boiling further and his own dick all that harder.

As insane as it was to believe, Sam hadn't felt so turned on and fuelled with lust since the first incredible night with Jessica. Not even when he'd been hyped up on demon blood and fucking Ruby had he felt anything close, until now. Knowing that, feeling that, both terrified and relaxed him, allowing his brain to shut down so as not to think about what he was doing, who he was with. He knew if he didn't he'd freak out, just like he'd done before and he didn't want that. He'd been looking for that peace he'd once had for so long, he _wasn't_ going to ruin it by having a huge gay crisis. He'd come too far to turn back now.

Sam moved his hand confidently over the hardened flesh, his thumb rolling, massaging the head. He had no idea how Gabriel like to be touched, but he'd learn. Right now, he could only follow his instincts and the way Gabriel was moaning, and rocking into his grasp, said the ex-archangel was enjoying it well enough.

That was enough to spear Sam on, pulling Gabriel harder into his chest and savouring the feel of skin to skin, before he slipped his hand between them to work hurriedly at the fly of his jeans, forcing them and his underwear awkwardly over his hips.

They toppled slightly forward as he tried to kick his jeans away, only to remember he still wore his boots. "Fuck it." He growled against Gabriel's neck.

Gabriel moaned, his palms pressing harder against the window frame and laughed richly. "You don't need bare feet to fuck." He grunted, releasing one hand to reach back between them and grab Sam's cock. "You just need this…" he tugged sharply, causing Sam to gasp pathetically. With another breathless laugh Gabriel let go and reached for the hunter's free hand, bring it to his mouth. "And these." He whispered before swallowing two of the digits, sucking and swirling his tongue over them till they were soaked in his saliva.

Sam panted and moaned at the sensation of his fingers being sucked and couldn't help wishing it was his dick instead. The images of the once formidable archangel turned trickster on his knees, his mouth stretched around his cock, his throat tightening as Sam fucked into it, filled the hunter's mind and almost had him climaxing on the spot. _Fuck, what have I gotten myself into?_ He asked silently, even as he pulled his fingers from the hot damp expanse of Gabriel's mouth.

He wasn't a stranger to slipping his fingers into the tight cavern of someone's ass, he'd been around, he'd fucked adventurous experienced women. – Never a guy, he hadn't gotten as far as this with the guy he'd picked up at a bar while trying to forget Gabriel. – So he wasn't all that nervous as he pressed his finger slowly past the tight reluctant ring of muscle. He took his time, worked slowly. When he was finally all the way inside he paused, massaging the inner walls then withdrawing.

He repeated the motion a dozen times before attempting to add another finger, surprised when Gabriel's body relaxed and opened up to intrusion. The thought occurred to him that maybe he wasn't the only one who'd sort comfort from a stranger and something dark shot through him. He pressed in with a third finger without warning, biting at Gabriel's neck and grinning to himself as the older man keened in shock, then pleasure.

"Ahhh." Gabriel moaned, pushing back on Sam's hand, goading him on. "That's it. Quicker."

So Sam did as bidden, thrusting his finger inside, deeper and harder. Enjoying the sounds Gabriel was making, especially when he hit some magic button.

"Son of a bitch!"

It was only when Sam prepared to swap his fingers for his painfully hard cock that he realized he had no condom. He growled angrily at himself and glanced over at his duffle bag. So far away, a tortuous beacon taunting him. "Fuck" he hissed.

"That's a great i-idea." Gabriel panted through gritted teeth. "I'm very _open_ to that suggestion."

"The condom's in my bag." Sam replied, voice as wrecked as his lovers, his eyes fixed on the bag accusingly. He could get one, it would be easy enough. He knew he had at least one at the bottom of his duffle, but… - He feared breaking the connection between him and Gabriel. Feared what moving away would do; without the feel of the ex-archangel's flesh pressed to his, without the heavy cock in his palm, he might begin to think, and with thinking came reality and doubts he'd fought to expel the past year.

 

/*\/*\/*\

 

Gabriel twisted his head, panting and flushed. He could see it all over Sam's face, the deer in headlights look he'd worn every time the reality set in. He swore angrily to himself. He'd done it again, he'd allowed himself to be seduced, he'd told himself this time it wouldn't end with Sam running for the hills, because apparently he didn't know when to stop hoping. His fingers tightened on the white wooden window frame and he stared out over the wide open space that surrounded their… _his_ house, then up at the heaven's above him.

The moon glowed brightly down on them, bathing his nakedness in its light and he had to admit he kinda liked the idea of being fucked in full view of heaven. A twisted excitement at the knowledge he was breaking the rules, as he always had. A literal screw you to the home he'd once loved, the home he'd abandoned but had never quite given up hoping for. – And for it to be Sam, there was a sense of irony in that.

Only it wouldn't be Sam, because he was freaking out…again. He was going to bolt, run for the hills. "If you're going, go." He ordered angrily, ripping his slowly flagging dick from the hunter's grip, his eyes stinging as he leant frozen against the window frame.

He felt Sam moving away from him, heard the shuffling of his feet as they got closer to the door and his heart sank to his toes as he heard it close. Sighing softly, Gabriel hung his head and closed his eyes against the tears. Tears he refused to let fall. He'd made a vow months ago not to shed any more tears over Sam fucking Winchester.

When he heard the clutter of boots hitting wood and clothing swiftly following, Gabriel's eyes flew open and his breath caught in his throat. He didn't dare look, simply choosing to stare out at the night and wait. There was the sound of a zip being drawn and he couldn't stand it any longer. Slowly he turned to find Sam, naked from head to toe, hurriedly yanking his belongings out of the bag Dean had thrown at him. Gabriel frowned, his heart racing. He hadn't fled. Why?

"Fuck it." Sam swore. "I was sure I…" he growled, tossing another shirt furiously beside him on the floor before tipping the now empty duffle upside down and shaking.

"What are you…doing?" Gabriel asked cautiously.

Sam lifted his gaze and stared at Gabriel like the man had lost his mind, or grown a second head. "What does it look like? I know I had a god-damn condom in here!"

Gabriel swallowed the thick lump pressing against his vocal cords. Sam wasn't running, he was staying. Coughing to dislodge the emotional blockage he whispered. "Closet. Top shelf."

Sam looked at him intensely for a moment before leaping to his feet, he practically ran to the closet, yanking open the door violently. He didn't bother with the light Gabriel noticed, and that made his heart skip and his dick perk-up.

"Shoe box." Gabriel clarified with a smirk, his eyes roaming over the tanned toned expanse of the hunter's naked form, his dick re-awaking more and more by the second.

Sam grunted triumphantly when his hand closed over the white box, pulling it down and throwing open the lid as he turned back to Gabriel, his eyes widening at the contents.

"Birthday present from Rita." He informed, laughing.

Sam lifted his eyes and Gabriel inhaled sharply at the familiar glow of jealousy. "Really?"

"She thought I should get back on the horse."

"Did you?" Sam demanded, his tone hard.

Gabriel locked eyes with him, unflinching. "Yes." He replied flatly, lifting his chin. He wasn't going to inform the young hunter that it had been a complete disaster or that he'd been thinking of him the whole time.

Sam's gaze narrowed as he stalked closer, the box being thrown aside but for the strip of colourful condoms and a large bottle of unopened lube. Gabriel shivered at the heated possessive look in the hunter's eyes and his heart thundered against his ribs. He resumed the position, his hands planted either side of the window, his feet parted and braced, his eyes fixed on the sky with a wide satisfied grin cutting his face in half.

It grew wider still at the sound of the wrapper being torn then discarded. He gasped as cold lubed fingers slid effortlessly into him once more, deep, slamming almost painfully against his prostate, causing his whole body to jerk and a hoarse moan to escape his lips.

"I've been unable to fuck a single person in the last year because of you." Sam growled into his ear, his fingers relentless. "And you've been whoring yourself around town?"

Gabriel turned furious eyes on the younger man. "Firstly, fuck you Winchester, I 'm no more a whore than your precious brother. I wanted sex, I had sex." He gasped as Sam hit the sweet spot again. "S-secondly, i-it's not m-my fault it took you a f- _aahhhh_ -ucking year to realize you wanted t- _this_."

"You threw me out!" Sam reminded him loudly.

Gabriel groaned, parting his feet a little further and arching his back, leaning heavier on the frame. "I… - Y-you could h-have…come….back…any…time." he panted, face pinched with pleasure as he rocked back on Sam's hand once more. "You had no t-trouble kicking down m-my d-door…tonight. – Or making your…feelings…knooooaahhh." His head fell forward on a broken moan.

He heard Sam growl angrily, and whimpered a moment later at the sudden loss of Sam's fingers as they swiftly withdrew. He didn't mourn the loss for long though, as in mere moments he was being stretched wide by the head of Sam's cock forcing its way into his body with a burn that sent shivers through Gabriel's whole being. He gasped, groaned and whimpered all in the same instant, his eyes clenched tightly closed as he soaked in the pure pleasure.

/*\/*\/*\

Sam closed his eyes as he ploughed deeper, his heart skittering as Gabriel's body swallowed him inch by inch. The man was right, he probably could have come back sooner, he'd had no reason not to, except that he hadn't been ready then. He'd needed that year he realized now, to sort his head out, to figure out just what he was feeling for Gabriel. Whether it was loneliness or lust, or….something else entirely. He'd needed the distance to discover if he was attracted to men in general or just this one. – And maybe if Dean hadn't have returned, he would have made the choice he was now making months ago. _Maybe_.

Gabriel's harsh demands pulled him out of his head and back to the moment, his hand tightening on the shorter man's hips, holding him firmly in place as he withdrew. He paused a moment, the head of his cock still stretching the ex-angel open. He took a breath before thrusting forward, claiming Gabriel with a grunt.

 

/*\/*\/*\

 

Gabriel's knuckles whitened as he held the weight of both his own body and that of Sam's. His own being forced forward with each punishing thrust of Sam's hips, the hunter buried so deep he could practically feel the man's cock in his throat. Pre-cum rolled down the underside of his own flushed hardened cock as it bounced against his stomach. This had been what he wanted, what no one else had been able to provide. This punishing rhythm, this rough callused touch, this connection that wasn't just physical. They'd known each other long enough, hated each other, saved each other. It was a strong bond, strong enough to bring them to this.

He rocked his hips back to meet Sam's quickening thrusts, panting and swearing with each inward stroke, every so often yelling when that special spot was pounded, sending white lights of pleasure through his whole body, making his skin burn and his senses explode with sensation.

It wasn't long before the whole world turned to white, fireworks erupting behind tightly closed eyelids. His legs losing their solidity beneath the extra weight of Sam's much larger body. He felt them go but he didn't crumple to the floor. A long muscled arm securing his stance, pressing against his still quivering abdomen, its underside coated in Gabriel's cum.

Sam continued to pound relentlessly into him despite his limp boneless state. The man's mouth suckling the already bruised column of his throat. Panting, Gabriel turned his head, moaning as he nudged at Sam's forehead to gain his attention. Slowly the hunter was there, taking his mouth in a passionate desperate tangle of tongues; sloppy and wet. Uncoordinated.

Moments later Sam's whole body went rigid, his eyes squeezed tight as every muscle strained and he slammed violently one final time into Gabriel's body.

The pair tumbled to the polished hardwood, breathless and spent, their flesh drenched with sweat, Gabriel's stomach sticky white. Inhaling slowly, he turned his head away from where it was resting against the window seal and glanced over his shoulder to stare at Sam's prone body, stretched out flat on the golden floor, his eyes closed, his chest heaving.

Gabriel's eyes scanned over the toned body to the now sated and limp cock still wrapped in latex. He shifted awkwardly, wincing at the aching in his lower back and ass, as well as his arms and legs, but a smile played at the corners of his mouth. – He was too fucking old to be fucked standing up, He chastised himself. – Shuffling over to Sam he carefully tugged the condom lose, tying the end securely.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked sleepily.

"Stealing your happy juice to get pregnant, what does it look like?" Gabriel huffed.

Sam reached out, his long fingers curling around the smaller but toned bicep and yanking Gabriel down on top of him, instantly reclaiming his mouth with a languid kiss. "I should have done that months ago." He whispered, when he finally released the bruised thin lips.

"I did try to tell you, but you never listen to me." Gabriel scoffed, staring down at the younger man.

"I've really got to start doing that. You're usually right." Sam smirked, eyes heavy with weariness.

"Halleluiah." Gabriel praised. "It's finally gotten through that Cro-Magnon head. Maybe I should have fucked the sense into you seven years ago."

Sam met his gaze, suddenly serious. "Might have worked out better for all of us if you had." He murmured regretfully.

Gabriel watched the hunter for a long tense moment, Sam staring straight back at him, the air crackling between them as his heart thundered beneath his ribs. "Way to go and ruin the moment Sasquatch." He whispered finally, pushing himself away from Sam and getting properly to his feet. "Can't imagine why you're still single with pillow talk like that." He said over his shoulder as he marched towards the connecting bathroom.

He cleaned himself up quickly and returned to the bedroom to find that Sam had abandoned the floor in favour of his bed, the covers pulled back invitingly for Gabriel. The younger man lounged there watching him approach. Gabriel inhaled deeply as he climbed onto the mattress beside Sam, neither saying a word as they made themselves comfortable and gave over to the exhaustion of the last few minutes. – No, the last sixteen months.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder that my Claire is nothing like the Claire of the series, having not being abandoned by her mother the way she had in the show. 
> 
> Not Beta Read!

Gabriel woke slowly, his eyes fluttering open with ease. It was still dark but a glimpse at the clock told him it was early morning. As he lay staring at the bright red numbers he thought how wonderful his dream had been. It wasn't the first time he'd dreamt of Sam, but it had most definitely been the most intense. His body actually ached from the phantom encounter.

It was probably his morning-dulled brain that delayed the reality from setting in. It took him a few minutes, the numbers changing on the clock, for him to realize it wasn't a phantom pain flooding his body but an all too real one. He also became suddenly aware of the mattress dipping beside him. Craning his neck, Gabriel inhaled slowly at the sight of lush brown hair and a tanned toned back. It hadn't been a dream, Sam was really there, with a smile creeping across his face. He turned carefully and shifted closer. Gabriel pressed his nose against the exposed curve of Sam's shoulder blade and took a deep inhale of scent, his eyes drifting closed again, his arm moving stealthily and gently over the larger man's hip. Breathing him in, Gabriel felt himself relax, sleep luring him back into its embrace.

/\/\\**/\/\

The high pitched scream of his alarm caused him to physically jump, turning his body, he reached out and quickly silenced it.

"What was that?" Sam asked sleepily.

"Nothing. Go back to sleep." Gabriel replied, slotting his body back in behind the hunter, closing his eyes, loving the way Sam wiggled back into him in return.

Sam grunted incoherently before his breathing evened out once more.

Gabriel honestly contemplated staying there, wrapped in the warm bed covers, pressed against the blazing heat of Sam's body, but the problem was…he couldn't, he had work to do. Okay, he could call in sick, but Annabella and Rita would find out, then they'd arrive with chicken soup and demand to know what the hell he was thinking taking back his so-called abusive partner.

Though that wasn't the biggest motivation to go to work. As soon as the post orgasm reality set in. As soon as he came to his senses or decided this wasn't really what he wanted, Sam would split. Just like he always did. Gabriel couldn't deal with that again, he couldn't stand on the front porch and just watch Sam drive away after last night. No, it would be easier to go to work and simply come home to an empty house.

Making his decision, Gabriel gently untangled himself from Sam's limbs and threw back the covers. Padding naked across the room to the bathroom, being sure to lock the hallway door, he closed the one to his room and turned on the shower. As the water warmed, Gabriel glanced at his reflection, his heart skipping at the sight of the hicky, one each side of his throat. He brushed his fingers over the tender skin and smiled, they wouldn't be completely hidden by the collar of his shirt but he couldn't bring himself to care. He wouldn't be the only one to arrive at work with the evidence of a heated night with a lover.

Lifting his gaze from the bruised flesh, Gabriel met his own eyes, staring deeply into them. There were moments like this where he just found himself looking at his reflection. Where it was hard to see the angel beneath. Had he ever actually been one or had that all been a dream he'd woken up too early from? The longer he was human the harder it was to believe he'd been anything else.

Gabriel tore himself away from his reflection and stepped beneath the warm water, groaning as it rippled over his aching muscles. He scrubbed at the dried sweat and cum that stained parts of his body. He didn't linger beneath the water for long, as soon as he was clean, his hair washed, he stepped out wrapping a towel around his hips. He ran a brush through his hair, then unlocked the door and headed back out. His eyes were instantly drawn to Sam's naked form, stretched out face down across the bed, his ass looking inviting and delectable. Shaking his head in denial of temptation, Gabriel headed for the dresser, pulling out fresh underwear, socks and a under shirt before marching to the closet for his uniform. He dressed as quickly and quietly as he could before lowering himself onto the bed to deal with his socks and boots, careful not to wake Sam.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked behind him, his voice deep and rough with sleep.

Gabriel swallowed. "Going to work. Someone has to pay the bills." He replied lightly, tying off his left boot then moving to the right.

"Is that a….Sheriff's department uniform?" the bed shifted as Sam sat up against the pillows.

"Yes."

"Are you a stripper now?" Sam chuckled; the roughness going straight to Gabriel's dick.

"No. I'm a deputy." He clarified, getting to his feet and heading back to the closet.

"Right. Really, what's with the uniform?" Sam scoffed.

"I'm not kidding." Gabriel called as he unlocked the safe at the bottom of the closet and retrieved his weapon. Strolling back out, while securing his sidearm, Gabriel met Sam's confused green gaze.

"How?"

Gabriel lifted a brow. "Seriously? Mr. Fake FBI is asking me how?" he chuckled, shaking his head. "I have my ways." He murmured nonchalantly.

"I didn't realize the police department hired frauds and murderers." Sam chuckled.

Gabriel wasn't amused. His eyes narrowed as he met the hunter's. "People in glass houses, asshat." He hissed angrily. "So people died, I _never_ pulled the trigger jerk off. I gave them a choice, it wasn't my damn fault they picked the wrong path." He stared at Sam meaningfully. "You almost ended the fucking world, how many do _you_ think you killed? Uh?!" Gabriel growled, turning to march furiously for the bedroom door.

He was yanking it open when a hand flattened against the wood above his head, pushing it closed with a bang. The heat of Sam's body blazing across his back, the hunter's breath against his ear. "You're right." Sam murmured. "I'm in no position to pass judgement on you, especially….now."

Gabriel closed his eyes with a sigh. "I was tired of doing nothing, okay. I needed…to feel like I was doing… _something_."

Sam lifted his hand from the door to grip Gabriel's shoulder lightly, offering comfort and an apology. "Do you have to go? Can't you call in sick?"

Gabriel craned his neck to meet the taller man's puppy-dog eyes, then turned his whole body to face him, his gaze travelling down the man's naked form, unconsciously licking his lips. "No." he whispered, throat tight, lacking any real conviction in his tone.

Sam smiled, lowering his lips to Gabriel's, seducing him with a deep swirl of his tongue. Gabriel growled, then forcefully tore his mouth from Sam's. "No, I have to go. I wasn't kidding about the bills Kiddo. – And if I call in sick, we'll have two nosy women banging the door down with chicken soup. They've turned into a right pair of mother hens since you left."

"We could just not open the door." Sam reasoned. "Or get Claire to tell them to get lost."

"There you go with that temptation again." Gabriel sighed; his fingers sweeping down the hunters solid flanks and around to his firm ass, squeezing it, offering his mouth up for another of Sam's seductive filthy kisses.

Sam's larger body bracketed Gabriel to the door, his hips thrusting insistently forward. Gabriel's fingers flexing over the taunt white orbs of Sam's ass. Sam's fingers fiddling with the buttons of the deputy's shirt.

Gabriel broke the kiss with a low moan, gently pushing Sam away, his breathing fast and heavy. "I can't. I have to work." He shook his head, cursing under his breath. When he finally met Sam's heavy lidded gaze, he groaned at the pure desire in them. "You couldn't have come home last weekend when I had time off?" he huffed frustratedly. "I'll be home by six, we'll pick this up then if you're still here."

Sam narrowed his gaze at the ex-angel. "I told you, I'm not leaving."

Gabriel wanted to believe him, he really did. "I'll see you later." he tugged the hunter down for a chaste kiss. "Fix my fucking door and get rid of that car, I can't have a stolen vehicle on my property."

"Your property?" Sam scoffed.

"I'm an officer of the law." Gabriel smirked mischievously, kissing Sam one last time before slipping reluctantly out of the room, fastening his shirt as he went.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

Sam sighed as the door closed with a click, walking casually over to the window. The sky was just beginning to lighten, the dark blue fading to lilac as morning arrived. He could hear the birds singing and felt an intense sense of home, something he'd never felt before. They'd never really been in one place long enough, not even Bobby's or Pastor Jim's. Every muscle in his body loosened and he exhaled a calm breath.

He should never had left in the first place, he knew. Running had never accomplished anything but heartbreak, though the first time he'd thought he was running towards something, a better life. Normality. A future. And look how that ended. This time he'd been running from something, his feelings, his confusion. From Gabriel. Even though this had been what he'd always wanted, a home, a family, someone to love him despite everything. – Someone to love in return. – Not that he and Gabriel were in love. – But it was as close as he'd been in a very long time.

The sound of the front door opening and closing drew Sam's eyes down. He watched Gabriel bundled up in a thick Khaki green jacket making his way across the large dirt path in front of the house, past the 'stolen' car to the large barn that sat a few feet away. He watched Gabriel pull the doors wide open before vanishing inside. A moment later a vehicle backed out, a Sheriff's Department cruiser. Sam's heart leapt slightly at the sight. It was surreal to think of Gabriel as a deputy. If he'd still had his powers, Sam would swear it was another of his games.

He remember the regretful sound of Gabriel's voice at the door, it had felt like a punch to the gut hearing the weakness in him, the humanity. If it hadn't have been for him, Gabriel would still be that powerful archangel playing at being a pagan god. – But then Gabriel would still be an enemy, a man he wanted dead, not laid out beneath him moaning in pleasure.

The cruiser paused and Gabriel climbed out to close the barn doors. As he made his way back, he stopped and glanced up to meet Sam's gaze through the dim morning light. Sam smiled, lifting his hand. When Gabriel blew him a kiss, Sam chuckled and rolled his eyes, shaking his head. He reluctantly turned away from the window, returned to the bed. Without a hunt to rush off to he could get some much needed sleep, as he settled quickly beneath the duvet he listened to the car's engine fading, sleep drawing him back into her ever-loving embrace.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

Sam woke and for a few moments wasn't sure where he was, then his mind cleared. Smiling softly he rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, content for the first time in years. He just laid there, listening to the wind blow outside, the sound of birds, the echo of movement in the room beneath him. _Claire_.

Throwing back the covers, he swung his legs over the side of the bed, getting to his feet with a groan. His thighs and back were killing him, the muscles tight. He couldn't help but grin at the memory of the previous night. It had been a long time since he'd had sex like that, rough and filled with hunger. Ruby had probably been his last encounter but even then it hadn't left him feeling good, he'd always been carrying the guilt and shame, even before Dean came back from hell. Because Ruby was a demon, a monster and he hadn't cared about her enough for that _not_ to be an issue. What that said about his relationship with Gabriel, he couldn't say. All that mattered was how he didn't feel like he was letting everyone down. – Especially himself.

Padding into the bathroom, Sam turned on the shower before heading back to grab his wash bag and lay out fresh clothes. By the time he was done the water was perfect. He scrubbed at the skin, the remains of dirt and sweat. His thoughts wandering where they pleased and ultimately ending up focused on Gabriel. Without even realizing it he had his hand wrapped around himself, working out the tension his thoughts were creating. Images of Gabriel spread eagle beneath him as he pounded his brains out. Gabriel on his knees in the shower, sucking on him like he was one of the lollypops the ex-angel loved so much.

When it was over and his desire stated, Sam washed away the evidence and dried off. He dressed quickly before headed down, his fingers absently combing through his damp hair.

Claire was sat, her feet buried comfortably beneath her, a book on her lap, the TV only occasionally capturing her attention. She glanced up at him as he took the final few steps and grinned, the slight blush on her cheeks making it clear she'd heard them, either the previous night or that morning. – Probably both. "Morning. Sleep well?" she called with a teasing lightness to her tone.

Sam swallowed; taking a breath and clearing his throat. "Best I've had in a long time." He answered truthfully, wincing at Claire's girlish giggle. She wasn't a little girl anymore, she knew what was going on under her nose. – And apparently her roof. – The thought of Claire knowing about sex had as spark of paternal protectiveness flooding through him. Grabbing a glass of juice he headed back to the living room. "You meeting….Isaac?" he looked over at her from the doorway.

"Later." Claire answered. Her pen moving over the sheet of paper, her eyes locking to her work.

"And you two have been seeing each other….long?" Sam pressed with a small smile.

"About six months." She replied casually, still refusing to look at him.

Sam hummed, dropping down into the armchair, grunting as Riot thrust his large excited nose into his gut, before laying it on Sam's lap. Sam's fingers brushed slowly through the fur. "And you…you know…?" he swallowed. He'd never thought he'd be in this position. "Being careful." He coughed.

Claire's head snapped up, her pale blue eyes locking with his. "As in?" smirking yet her cheeks growing red.

Sam flushed. "Just… _careful_."

"He's not a demon." She informed him firmly. "Or anything else."

"Right…good…" he chugged down his juice.

"And we're not having sex."

Sam choked on his orange, coughing and spitting, fighting to regain control of his throat and lungs while Claire chuckled away on the couch.

"Dad's already been over _everything_." She chuckled, grinning from ear to ear.

"Dad?" Sam frowned.

Claire dropped her gaze again, dragging a strand of her blond hair behind her ear. "Gabriel." She sighed. "It just… - Became a habit." She looked up, almost guilty. "You know, having to call him Dad around everyone, it just became…second nature." She shrugged.

Sam smiled understandingly, a little jealous that he'd missed out on becoming a part of that habit.

Claire dropped her gaze again. "So you're staying, right?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah." He replied without thinking.

"Good." Claire nodded; satisfied. "And… Dean?"

"I don't know." Sam shrugged. "Right now I think he needs to calm down and… deal with stuff."

"You and Dad you mean." She sighed. "I….heard what he said. He doesn't like him or…. you guys being together."

"He'll get over it, it's just shock." Sam found himself defending.

"It's stupid. – I mean he's got Castiel, he's being such a hypocrite." Claire spat harshly.

Sam stared at her for a long moment, surprised and discomforted. There was something in the girls' tone that said she wasn't just passing over her opinion but was instead stating a fact. _She was Castiel's vessel,_ his mind reminded him. Clearing his throat, he decided not to press for an explanation. "So what time are you meeting Isaac?" he asked in a smooth yet desperate change in subject.

"1pm, why?"

"Gabriel's demanding I fix the door and get rid of the car." He nodded towards the window. "You've got your licence right?"

Claire smirked, tossing her books aside.


	4. Chapter 4

Claire steered the old banged up truck through main street, Sam happily riding shot-gun. They'd dumped the stolen Volvo a good five miles from town, Sam having wiped it down first. It would get found eventually but it wouldn't be traced easily back to him. The truck pulled up outside the hardware store and Claire cut the engine. "So…here we are."

Sam smiled over at the teenager. "And that's your boyfriend." He nodded across the street at Isaac.

Claire's face lit up. "Yeah. So I'll be home before dinner. You don't have to pick me up, Isaac will drop me off." She promised, handing over the keys. "Dad will be home at six, so you'll have at least an hour to yourselves." She added meaningfully.

Sam flushed slightly. "Is this weird for you?" he asked seriously. 'Cause it sure as hell was weird for him.

Claire laughed softly, a sweet happy sound Sam was glad to hear. "Nope. Frankly you guys are the most normal thing in my life. – I mean, you know… with Mom being…" she swallowed the words painfully. "And my dad… - Well, it's nice having a nice normal family again."

Sam frowned at her. "We're far from normal. Gabriel's an ex-archangel turned trickster who came back from the dead and I'm a mess, who hunts monsters."

"True." She grinned warmly. "But you guys are strangely the most stable thing I've had in years. – Ever since…"

"I haven't been around for a year." Sam reminded her. "How was that even close to stable?"

"But I knew you'd come back." She said confidently; shoving the door open. "See ya later… _Dad_." She winked, closing the truck door and running across the street to her boyfriend.

Sam watched the pair with a soft smile, Claire's faith in him felt odd and uplifting, yet heavy as stone. It had been a long time since anyone had had that kind of belief in him. Taking a breath he tore his gaze from Claire and Isaac and pushed open the truck door, closing it behind him. Sam glanced around the town he'd left twelve months previous. It hadn't changed, though he had.

Nodding to himself and straightening his shoulders, he turned, heading for the hardware store, but didn't move to enter. Instead he kept walking, down Main Street, just wandering aimlessly through the small town Gabriel and Claire had made their home. He could see the Sheriff's station a few feet away, and felt a pull to go inside and see Gabriel, but he didn't. Instead he plopped down on the bench and just stared at it, that small voice in the back of his mind whispering that he shouldn't be here. That this whole thing was a mistake. _You're just lonely._ But was that really such a bad reason? Was it wrong to seek out someone to fill that loneliness? No. So he wanted someone to come home to. _A distraction, that's all he is._ Sam shook his head, a spark of guilt shooting through him.

Sam almost jumped out of his skin when he turned to find Cas sat beside him. "Shit!"

"Watching humanity. It never gets old does it?" Cas asked, leaning forward on his knees, his eyes following the people strolling by.

"Cas?" he murmured uncertainly. "What are you doing here?" he quickly glanced over at the sheriff's station. Had Dean told him about Gabriel? A wave of unease flooded Sam at the thought. There'd been something off with Cas for a while and Sam just wasn't sure he was completely trustworthy, no matter what Dean said.

"The angel Samandriel…Alfie, has been taken by Crowley. We need your help to rescue him." Cas stated, meeting Sam's nervous gaze.

"D-Does Dean known you're here?" Sam frowned.

"No." Cas shook his head. "He is under the _mistaken_ impression that we can free Alfie without you. I disagree."

Sam didn't get a chance to argue, or agree for that matter. In the blink of an eye he was stood in the rusty room of Garth's boat, his brother glaring at him.

"What's he doing here?" Dean demanded harshly.

"Don't worry Dean, once we save Alfie I'm out." Sam insisted, turning his glaring from Cas to his brother.

"What's _we_ save Alfie? Don't hurt yourself Sam. Cas and I can handle it."

"Not according to Cas." Sam argued angrily.

"I told you we didn't need him." Dean spat, turning hard accusing eyes on Castiel.

"We need everything, Dean." Cas stated firmly. "And I need both of you, as you say, to store your crap. Can you do that?"

Sam stared at his brother, sighing. "Fine."

"Fine."

"Good." Cas shot them both another warning look, then turned to march over to talk to Kevin.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

While Cas and Kevin prepared the demon bombs, Sam paced the deck of the rusty tug boat Kevin had been living on for almost two months. Dean had barely said three words to him, and part of him couldn't bring himself to care. He'd made his opinion concerning him and Gabriel's relationship quite clear. Thinking of the ex-archangel reminded Sam he'd left the truck parked outside the hardware store and hadn't let anyone know he was leaving _. He's going to think I split town again. Shit._

Yanking his cell out of his pocket he quickly scrolled through the contacts, grateful he hadn't deleted the man's number when he'd left. – And that Dean hadn't screwed with it the way he had with Claire's.

" _Hey Sammy."_ Gabriel answered lightly, a smile in his voice.

Sam sighed happily, his own lips curving. "Hey."

" _If you're calling for a little phone sex, you're out of luck._ _I' m in the middle of the station and Wayne is sat across from me with a sickly look on his face."_

"No, Gabriel. This isn't about sex." He huffed, shaking his head. "I'm calling to let you know Cas came and got me."

" _What?"_ Gabriel's tone was suddenly serious.

"He needs my help with something."

" _Where's Dean?"_

Sam scrubbed at his face tiredly. "Here." He sighed. "It's a three man job. – Look I just didn't want you thinking I skip town on you, again."

Gabriel was silent for a long minute. _"Thanks."_

"I'll be home, if everything goes as planned, tomorrow. – Maybe the day after."

" _Okay_." Gabriel murmured flatly.

Sam heard the doubt in the man's voice and hated himself for putting it there. "Two days max, Gabe." He promised firmly.

" _I said okay."_

"Yeah, but you don't believe me." Sam replied quietly, leaning heavily on the railing. "Do you?"

" _Can you really blame me?"_ Gabriel asked. Sam could hear movement in the background, the sound of a door closing, as if Gabriel was taking their conversation to a more private area.

"No." Sam shook his head. "Look I left the truck parked on the street, but I have the keys and Claire's with Isaac."

" _I've got a spare set, I'll call Claire to come get them and take the truck home_."

"And I'll see you there in two days. I _swear_." Sam insisted, rubbing at his eyes.

Gabriel was silent for another long moment before murmuring. _"Be careful Sam."_

"You too. – See ya, Gabe."

" _Later babe."_ He laughed tightly and Sam knew it was forced. The line went dead as Gabriel hung up on him and Sam's gut tightening. That goodbye had sounded so final. He really didn't expect him to come back. Well he'd be in for a surprise.

The sound of a heavy metal door had Sam straightening turning sharply to meet his brother. He shoved his cell deep into his pocket. "Kevin done?"

"Yeah." Dean nodded sharply. "Let's get this over with." He huffed, heading for the gangway with a large duffle bag.

Sam watched him leave with a slightly regretful look, pushing off the railing and moving to follow his brother.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

How everything had gone ass up Sam couldn't figure. It was meant to be a simple rescue mission, now he didn't know what was going on. He could still see Cas stood over Alfie's body as he tried to convince them that it had been self-defence. With a final sweep of the spray can he turned to Dean. "Okay, that should do it, Cas can't see or hear us now."

"Okay." Dean inhaled, relaxing minutely. "What the hell?"

"I know."

"I told you something was off with him since he got back from Purgatory."

Sam stared at his brother disbelievingly. Dean had been ignoring Cas's weird behaviour for weeks but now wasn't the time to argue over it. "So you think someone's messing with him or something?"

"Who?" Dean frowned, a slight look a hope mixed with panic.

"Angels?" Sam shrugged.

"Why would the angels have him to kill another angel?"

Frankly Sam didn't think there wasn't anything the angels wouldn't do. He watched Dean closely as his brother turned away. The tension clear in his back and shoulders, when Dean turned back is features had that cold distant look again. The one that had fade in the wake of Castiel's abandonment.

"You know what man. I got this. You go." Dean said suddenly, turning back to Sam.

"What?" Sam frowned.

"Don't you have a… _family_ to get back to?" Dean reminded him flatly.

"Yeah, I guess I do." Sam sighed. "Hm…uh….since when were you on the Gabriel bandwagon?"

Dean winced; marching past Sam toward the small refrigerator. "I don't know." He grumbled. "I'm just tired of all the fighting." He yanked open the door and tugged out a beer. "And hm…maybe I'm a little bit jealous."

"Of Gabriel?" Sam couldn't help but smirk.

Dean glared at him. "No." he stated sharply. "I could never separate myself from the job like you can."

Sam flinched at the subtle attack.

"I don't know, maybe it's time for at least one of us to be happy."

Sam felt the weight he'd been carry since their argument two days ago lift. He took a breath of relief. "You being such a big hugger and all." He teased lightly. "They do make me happy, Dean. It took me a long time to admit that. – And I know we can make it work."

Dean held up his hand. "No."

"What?" Sam frowned.

"You either have both feet in or both feet out, anything in between is what gets you dead."

Sam stared; his heart racing, that weight crashing back down on him. He shook his head, pacing the living space. When he finally stopped, spinning to glare at his brother, he folded his arms. "That's bullshit!" he announced sharply.

"What?"

"It doesn't have to be either-or, Dean. Why do I have to choose?"

"Because having anything else is a distraction."

"Bullshit. – Hunters have been having both for centuries. Our grandparents. Ellen."

"Yeah and look where it got them." Dean argued heatedly.

"They didn't die because they had families Dean, they died because it comes with the job."

"And you want to put… _them_ through that?" Dean accused, glaring angrily up at Sam.

"Gabriel isn't some girl I picked up in a bar Dean, he knows what this life is. He knows how it could end, and you know what he wants me anyway. He's not Lisa! He's not going to run screening at the first sign of trouble!"

Sam really should have expected the punch, he'd basically asked for it. His head snapped back hard and he felt the bone in his nose break under the force of his brother's fist. Straightening, one hand cupping his nose, he snatched a dish towel off the table, his eyes meeting Dean's blazing stare.

He knew he should apologize, but he wouldn't because he was right. Instead Sam headed for the couch, grabbing his jacket before marching to the door and yanking it open. He paused briefly, looking back at his brother. "You know where to find me." He said through his broken nose. Then stepped over the threshold, slamming the door behind him.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

Sam stepped down from the bus and felt the muscles in his shoulders relax at the sight of Gabriel lazing against the side of his police cruiser. He'd called him from the bus depot and told him he was on his way back. The look on Gabriel's face said he hadn't actually expected him to show up.

Stepping over to him, Sam smiled. "Hey."

"What the fuck happened to you?" Gabriel demanded, his eyes fixed on the dark bruising around Sam's eyes and nose.

"Dean." Was all the reply Sam gave closing the gap and stealing a kiss from the officer.

Gabriel moaned, smiling into the kiss before lightly pushing the taller men away. "Don't make me arrest us for indecent behaviour."

Sam chuckled. "Well I wouldn't complain to seeing you in cuffs." He whispered thickly, his gaze hot and heavy.

"Don't tease." Gabriel scolded.

"Who's teasing?" Sam winked, moving to climb into the passenger seat, laughing at the surprised and horny look Gabriel shot him as the man made his way around the car.

"Well you could be in luck, Kiddo. Claire's gone camping with friends this weekend, we've got the house all to ourselves." He smirked wantonly.

Sam frowned across at Gabriel, concerned and anxious.

"Calm down, she knows how to look after herself. She took Riot with her."

"I don't like it. – Did…Isaac go?"

Gabriel stared at him for a long few seconds before chuckling. "It's such a turn on when you get all parental, you know that?" He leant across the space between them, silencing Sam's argument with a deep kiss.

"Then why are we still parked here?" Sam panted when Gabriel finally pulled back.

Gabriel gunned the engine and pulled out of the bus station parking lot, neither man saying a word to the other as they made the short trip through town. Sam sat staring out the window, slouching low against the worn leather, the grey brick buildings flying past.

"Should I even ask what happened?" Gabriel asked suddenly, breaking the relaxed peace of the car.

"We had a fight." Sam replied, his gaze never leaving the passing landscape.

"About….me?"

Sam's head snapped around. "Not…completely." He sighed. "It was about…this…" he waved his hand nonchalantly around. "Having a life outside of hunting. He thinks I have to choose."

Gabriel turned back to watch the road ahead intensely.

"You agree with him?" Sam quizzed, his eyes narrowing. "Do you?"

"No. – You don't have to choose, Sam. You're just one in a long line of hunters, you know that. If hunters couldn't have both neither of you would be here."

"So what's with the look? You think I should make a choice? – You don't want me here?" Sam snapped, shifting around in the seat to stare furiously at the other man. "After everything we've... – After all the shit you gave me for running away, now you don't want me?" he practically yelled. "What was it, a fucking game? You screwing with me, again? Wanted to see if you could get me into bed?"

"Fuck you Winchester. You know that's not what I was doing!" Gabriel yelled back.

"I don't know shit! After all it's what you do, right? Play games with people!" Sam sneered.

"If I wasn't driving right now, I'd fucking punch you." Gabriel growled. "I'm not playing games! I've never lied about what I wanted from you Sam." He huffed frustratedly. "It's not a case of not wanting you, I just don't want to be the reason you and Dean go separate ways, you're stronger together, whether you know it or not, and the world needs that. Why do you think the bad guys try to tear you apart?" he shouted back angrily, his fingers curling in a white knuckle death grip on the steering wheel.

Sam stared at the ex-angel for what felt like eternity, his mouth hanging open, his eyes wide with surprise, the words rolled around in his head.

"Stop staring at me freak." Gabriel spat, shooting him a side long glance.

Sam sucked in a breath suddenly. "Are you…serious?"

Gabriel gave a nonchalant shrug, like it didn't really bother him one way or the other whether Sam believed him.

"I…I guess it just goes to show how much you've grown." Sam said, a lightness to his tone that wasn't there a second ago.

Gabriel's eyes flickered over to him once more. "Shut up. I just don't want to have to deal with your co-dependent ass. The first six months were bad enough. Moping doesn't suit you, idiot."

Sam continued to stare at him, unable to quite get his head around any of what had been said. Gabriel was actually trying _not_ to come between him and Dean, for _him._ It didn't seem real.

"You're still staring." Gabriel huffed.

"I know. I'm just trying to figure out who you are and what you did with Gabriel?"

"Hahaha. Blow me, Winchester." Gabriel grunted.

Sam grinned wickedly, moving to unbuckle his safety belt and shift closer. Gabriel read his mind and a hand shot out to catch his head, his palm holding the hunter at bay. "Not here, jackass!"

Sam chuckled. "Then get us the fuck home." He growled.

Gabriel groaned breathlessly and pressed down on the gas.


	5. Chapter 5

The door crashed open under the weight of the bodies stumbling frantically over the threshold. Neither man really caring about the noise or the potential damage, too busy battling for dominance with tongue and hand, ripping franticly at one another's clothes.

Gabriel had enough time and sense to throw the front door closed, barely, before his back hit the staircase post with an intense and arousing sense of déjà vu. He was anchored once more to the spot by the press of Sam's larger stronger body, their hips grinding almost painfully against the other.

Sam's jacket and shirt hit the polished oak floorboards with a muffled bang, his undershirt swiftly following suit to lay crumpled on the pile of green plaid fabric. He inhaled as Gabriel's blunt nails drew down the expanse of his back, over his hips, moaning as the same fingers fumbled with the opening of his jeans.

Batting the hands away lightly, Sam pushed and pulled at the padded khaki jacket, tossing it aside the second it released Gabriel's arms. He then moved swiftly to the shirt and undershirt, surprised by his own dexterity in the light of the lust clawing through him. The heavy belt landing with a louder clonk a few feet away.

"Careful with that." Gabriel chided; only to be silenced by Sam's blazing kiss.

Sliding his hands down Gabriel's back he palmed the man's ass, bracing his feet and hoisting the shorter man up with a deep grunt of effort. Gabriel's arms and legs instantly encircled the larger body, bringing their hips closer together. Both men moaned at the delicious spark of arousal created. They stood panting more than kissing, rutting more than touching.

Gabriel tore his mouth from Sam to drag his tongue up the column of neck, nipping lightly at the tightened muscles reaching his ear. Gabriel sucked roughly on the lobe before demanding harshly. "Naked. Now."

Sam growled, taking a step back from the staircase before stumbling forward, attempting to take the stairs. Despite his smaller form Gabriel still weighed enough to make the ascent fraught with danger, but lust and determination took them to the top of the stairs and down the hall, the pair colliding with walls and door frames as they went.

Gabriel's body bounced as it was thrown unceremoniously on the bed, Sam promptly grabbing the ex-archangel's feet to loosen the laces of his boots, flinging them aside with a echoed thump; one after the other. His socks, pants and underwear followed in quick succession until Gabriel lay naked stretched out on the covers.

With Gabriel laid bare in front of him, Sam struggled to get his remaining clothes off, forced to look away in order to remove his own boots. When he looked back, while dropping his jeans and boxers he found Gabriel grinning at him; amber eyes glowing with desire, eye lids heavy with want. He was sat on the edge of the bed, patiently waiting for Sam to disrobe. The moment he was naked, Gabriel reached for him, yanking him forward.

Poking out his tongue, Gabriel lapped at Sam's abs, down over the happy-trail and Sam gasped in pleasure, his head falling back when Gabriel finally engulfed his cock in a fervour of damp heat without warning, the man hollowing out his cheeks and sucking desperately. Sam's head rolled on his shoulders, his eyes drifting closed, losing himself in the sensation.

Gabriel moved his tongue expertly, his fingers gripping on to the taller man's hips for dear life, as if afraid to let go and lose him forever. Moving his head back and forward, he moaned at the strength of the musky scent, the heavy weight against his tongue, filling him with arousal.

While taking Sam deeper, Gabriel shifted his hands, moving to palm the firm orbs of the hunter's ass, squeezing and kneading as if preparing dough. Sam moaning with each motion, his hip jolting forward frantically.

Sam tangled his fingers into the man's soft fine golden brown hair, unable to prevent himself from thrusting into the warmth of the ex-angels mouth. Gabriel accepting each movement, allowing Sam to go deeper, relaxing every muscle in his jaw and throat. Sam was so engulfed by the intense sensations that he wasn't aware of Gabriel's hand's absence from his ass, or the cool glide of a damp finger between the cheeks a few minutes later. Sam was so blissed out and lost in the moment, Gabriel was already working him open with two fingers when the sensation finally registered. Freezing he pulled away enough to look down into Gabriel's heavy lidded watering eyes, the man's lips glistening in the dim moonlight, Gabriel's hand pulling free and away as he looked up questioningly. Sam swallowed against the thundering heartbeat, panting frantically.

"Sammy?" Gabriel whispered hoarsely; his throat raw from Sam's insistent thrusts.

"I…" Sam choked, his fingers flexing in the ex-angel's hair.

"If you don't want me to, that's cool." He said understandingly, his lip curving mischievously. "You know us angels can't enter without permission." He winked.

Sam exhaled a breathy laugh, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. He ducked down and kiss the older man, tasting the salty tang of his pre-cum on the shimmering thin lips. When he straightened he inhaled deeply, his whole body going rigid for a few moments before he stepped closer, using the fingers in Gabriel's hair to guide the man back to his cock, while his other hand reached around to grip the hovering uncertain wrist and guide it back to his ass.

Gabriel smiled around him, his fingers returning to rub and circle gently at Sam's entrance, humming encouragingly, causing Sam to both relax and moan. Sam closed his eyes, inhaling and exhaling through his nose rapidly, his whole body sensitive to every movement, even that of the air in the room as he felt his climax approaching.

"S-stop." He whispered brokenly; pushing at Gabriel's shoulder.

Instantly the ex-archangel pulled both mouth and hand away, looking at him with concern.

"I'm close."

"That's a good thing." Gabriel smirked.

"No." Sam shook his head, shoving Gabriel back onto the bed.

Gabriel caught his meaning and scampered back further onto the bed, Sam quickly following him, straddling his lap and leaning down to capture his mouth again; Sam's damp cock tracing pre-cum and saliva over the shorter man's stomach.

Gabriel carded his fingers through the dampening strands of Sam's hair as their kiss deepened, his other hand sweeping down to massage the younger man's ass before slowly pressing a finger inside him. Sam jolted with surprise but didn't freeze up or pull away, allowing Gabriel to continue. He took his time, easing Sam open slowly. "I've dreamt about this." He whispered roughly against Sam's lips. "So _many_ times." He moaned; Sam reaching a hand between them to stroke at the ex-angel's forgotten cock. "It was hell lying next door, knowing you were in this bed, not wanting me."

Sam met Gabriel's despairing amber gaze, wanting to speak but having no idea what to say. He hadn't wanted this, not then. He twisted his wrist, causing Gabriel to let out a choked groan that Sam captured in his mouth. The kiss sloppy and uncoordinated.

Pulling away Gabriel smiled. "Up. On your knees." He ordered, his voice taking on a firmness he hadn't used in centuries. Sam surprised them both by doing as he was told without question, protest or complaint. Dragging the pillow beneath him. Gabriel extracted his fingers to scurry across to the nightstand, reaching into the top drawer for the silver and blue foil packet. Returning to kneel behind his hunter, he ripped at the packaging with his teeth and pulling the latex free. He began to roll it onto his erect cock, gasping at his own sensitivity, coating himself and Sam in yet more lubrication. His hands skimmed lightly over the heated toned and sweat coated flesh of the hunter's back. "Sam?"

The younger man pressed his face into the pillow, his heart racing as last minute doubts and fears crowded in on him.

"Sam, yes or no?" Gabriel asked softly, his thumbs rubbing comforting circles into the younger man's pelvic bone.

Sam was silent for a long moment, so long that Gabriel was beginning to back away. He hadn't gotten far though when Sam finally spoke up, his voice shaky but confident. "Yes."

Gabriel exhaled and moved quickly forward even as he asked. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." Sam repeated. "Just go slow."

Gabriel smiled, bending to press a kiss into the middle of Sam's sweaty back. "Believe me hot-stuff, I ain't rushing this." Taking a deep breath he guided himself to Sam's entrance and pushed in slowly. Withdrawing when Sam's body resisted.

He used his fingers to tempt the man's body to relax and tried again, sighing with relief when he was able to get the head and the first few inches inside. Sam groaning, his body arching back towards Gabriel while he pressed his face into the pile of pillows he'd dragged into the cradle of his arms.

The sound that came from Sam's throat was part moan, part whimper. His fingers white knuckling the pillow as he pressed his mouth to it, muffling his cry as Gabriel pressed forward. Sam hissed at the painful feeling of flesh and muscle stretching to accommodate the foreign body. His mind whirled over and around itself, unable to believe Gabriel had given himself over to _this_ , unable to believe there was any pleasure to come, despite knowing there was. – There had to be.

It wasn't the worst pain Sam had felt, it wasn't the most discomfort either. He had vivid memories of hell, of Lucifer's torment. This pale in comparison.

Finally he felt Gabriel's pelvis flush with his ass and exhaled the breath he'd been holding. Lifting his head, Sam gulped in a fresh lungful of air, his whole body shaking as it adjusted.

"Okay?" Gabriel panted against his shoulder blade.

Sam nodded, the sweat peppering his forehead causing his hair to cling to his face.

"Just breathe."

Gabriel fought the urge to just move, to just plough into Sam like a jack-hammer, he'd waited so long for this, but he wasn't going to rush, he wasn't going to ruin everything they'd build. Sam needed time and he'd happily give it. "Sam?"

"I'm…o…kay." He panted. "I'm… _ready_."

Gabriel took a deep breath, tightening his fingers on Sam's hips as he slowly withdrew, his heart skipping at the broken moan Sam let out. He was barely out before he was thrusting back in, setting a slow steady rhythm.

He'd delivered a good dozen thrust when Sam's hand reached around, pressing against Gabriel's hip. "Stop."

Gabriel instantly halted, withdrawing as if burnt. "What's wrong?" he asked panicked.

Sam shook his head as he rolled onto his back, his face flushed red, glistening with sweat, his lip plump where he'd bitten it. "I can't….do it…like this." He gulped a lungful of air once more. "Like…that." He corrected, looking into Gabriel's concerned eyes. Sam rearranged himself, lifting his legs, silently reassuring Gabriel. Inviting him back.

Gabriel swallowed thickly, smiling down at the tall hunter as he moved into the space between Sam's spread thighs, forcing the too long legs back against Sam's chest. The hunter instantly gripped the back of his legs and presented himself, Gabriel inhaling sharply at the sight. He surged forward to capture Sam's mouth, kissing him deep and dirtily while slipping easily back into the man's welcoming body, practically bending Sam double as he returned to his rhythm.

With his arms braced either side of Sam's impressive chest, Gabriel once again began his steady thrusts, rocking in and out. Sam moving to meet his thrusts as much as their awkward position would allow.

Sam's breath left his body as it grew hotter, the pain and discomfort he'd felt fading as pleasure engulfed him, luring him deeper into lust, arousal and need. He hadn't expected it to feel like that, so good. His head dropped back against the bed, a yell ripped from his throat as Gabriel drove into him and hit something he hadn't even know could give the overwhelming amount of gratification that was coursing through him in that second. White lights bloomed in his vision for a moment and his whole body shook from the aftershock. "Again." He pleaded breathlessly. "A… _again_."

He felt Gabriel chuckle through their connection just before he hit that magic spot again.

"Christ!" Sam yelled, his whole body jolting.

"If…y-you're going to…blaspheme, Sammy, at least use _my_ name."

Sam met Gabriel's laughing eyes and yanked him down into another messy kiss. "Harder." He whispered, drawing back.

Gabriel frowned. "You sure?"

Sam nodded frantically. "Harder. Faster." He ordered, releasing his legs to plant his feet against the mattress as leverage to meet Gabriel's pace.

Gabriel smirked. "I don't know Kiddo, I'm not sure you're ready for the big time just yet."

Sam growled, pulling the ex-angel back into a kiss, distracting him enough to easily flip their positions. Sam kneeling, straddling the smaller man's hips, grinning triumphantly down at him as he used his own strength to increase the pace, faster and faster. Gabriel's fingers biting into the curve of Sam's thighs.

"Fuck Sam." Gabriel panted, his eyes fixed on the younger man. "Feels _so_ good. Don't…stop."

Sam shook his head, moaning whilst he moved, shifting just enough that that magic feeling shot through his body once more.

The room was filled with the sound of both men's moans. Whispered curses, the slap of sweat soaked skin, the cry of the mattress and the whine of the bedframe.

"Oh…I'm…so…close." Sam panted rocking faster, shocked at the pleasure rippling through his body. Gabriel thrusting up to meet him. "I…can't believe…I'm gonna…come doing…. _this_." Sam said in breathless wonder.

Gabriel chuckling, taking the hunter's mouth, his hands seeking out Sam's, tangling their fingers. He gave a deep thrust, straining the muscles in his thighs and back to push off the bed. His hand moving to Sam's cock, pumping it quickly, the strokes rough and eager, frantic to get Sam off.

Sam yelled loud enough Gabriel was sure the window's rattled, every visible muscle tensing as he shot his load all over Gabriel's red flushed chest, coating it in a layer of thick white, Sam's nails biting into the flesh of Gabriel's knuckles

"Fuck!" Gabriel yelled, the younger man closing up tight around him, milking the orgasm out of the ex-archangel. He continued to thrust weakly through his climax, till he was nothing but a trembling pool of sweat and cum. He was almost flattened as Sam collapsed onto him, but he didn't much care. He felt too damn good.


	6. Chapter 6

Sam blinked awake. It was still dark, the only light in the room coming from the moonlight though the window behind him. His back was blanketed in a comforting warmth. Moaning softly Sam twisted his upper body to look at the older man, wincing at the pain shooting up his spine, he inhaled sharply, his heart skipping a beat.

Taking a couple of breaths, Sam lay staring at the darkened far wall. He still couldn't believe he'd let Gabriel fuck him. He'd never thought he'd give himself over to that. Of course he'd never thought for even a second he'd end up in a relationship with another man, _especially_ Gabriel. Though he probably shouldn't be surprised, if he were honest. His life had taken so many twists and turns over the years, he wasn't anywhere near where he'd expected to be at twenty-nine.

Or maybe he was. He'd always wanted a proper home, a family, a warm body to curl up with at the end of a long day. Kids and a job that left him feeling fulfilled and valued. So it wasn't Jessica lying there warmly beside him. It wasn't _their_ child sleeping a room away, and he wasn't protecting society from dangerous criminals, but in reflection he was exactly where he'd always wanted to be. It wasn't the 'normal life' he'd fought to build, but he'd long given up on that idea, it was as normal as he'd ever see.

Sam sighed, turning his head to watch Gabriel sleeping beside him. In the wake of everything that had happened to him the last couple of days…weeks. Hell years. His eyes scanned the shadowed face, it was close enough to make out the man's features. His thin nose and lips, the fall of his fine hair, the layer of stubble scattered over his jaw and upper lip.

Wincing once again, Sam gritted his teeth and slipped out of the bed, careful not to disturb Gabriel. Hunting around in the dark, Sam found his underwear, inhaling sharply as he stepped into them. Quietly Sam padded out of the room and down to the kitchen, pausing to fish his phone out of his jacket pocket, tossing the whole pile of discarded fabric onto the armchair.

The more he moved, the less discomfort he was feeling in his lower back and ass, which he was very grateful for. He didn't bother to flick on the light, his eyes already adjusted to the darkness. He fetched a glass and turned on the tap, gulping down two whole glasses in a matter of moments. Breathless from the hurried drink, Sam set the glass in the sink and lent back against the counter, his gaze turned towards the back door. While he felt as if he'd gotten everything he'd always hoped for, he feared it was going to come at a price. When he'd been at Stanford, he'd never allowed himself to think of never seen his brother again, it was easier. He'd lied to himself and said that when he was settled, when he had his degree, he'd call Dean. He'd make good with his father. It had silenced the guilty conscience, but he'd always known it was a lie. That when he'd walked away, he'd intended _never_ to look back. It was one of the reasons he'd never talked about Dean to Jessica. And she'd never asked, she'd never tried to make him make an effort to reconnect. She'd swallowed every bullshit lie he'd fed her and never questioned any of it. He'd been grateful then, cutting ties had been all too easy because he'd never really wanted that life. He'd never wanted _that_ family. – No matter how much he'd loved them, he hadn't needed them.

Now though, now he couldn't imagine never seeing or speaking to Dean. – No, that wasn't true. He could, because he'd already lived it, and Gabriel was right, it had been the worst year of his life. No _,_ _two_ years. He'd gone through that loss twice, and it had almost killed him. It had sent him spiralling out of control. Sent him into one bad relationship and another… _unexpected_ one.

He sighed as the memory of how fractured his relationship with his brother became when he'd been with Ruby. The lies and secrets, the mistrust. The simmering anger and hatred that had almost ended the world. He didn't want to go through that again, but neither was he willing to just give up what little pieces of a life he'd found. He'd learnt his lesson, he wasn't going to keep Gabriel a secret, he wasn't going to lie to his brother and he wasn't going to just turn his back on the life. Dean had pulled him back into this world, kicking and screaming, it wasn't fair of him to now decide to push him away because he didn't like the guy he was living with. Because he was jealous of what he'd built in his absence to survive.

Snatching his cell off the counter, Sam hit his speed dial, frustration boiling in his gut. As it rang in his ear he strolled to the backdoor, staring out at the night sky. The moon low on the horizon. He hadn't bothered to check the time. The call continued to ring out and Sam sighed wearily. He probably should have expected Dean not to answer, though whether that was because he was avoiding him or he was out letting off steam, Sam couldn't be sure. Finally the voice mail picked up, Dean's voice direct and to the point. The beep pierced the silence and he exhaled sadly. "Dean. – I…I'm sorry, man. I shouldn't have brought up Lisa." He took a breath. "But it doesn't change anything Dean. I'm not giving Gabriel and Claire up and I don't want to stop hunting, not now we finally have a chance to close…."

**BEEP**

Sam sighed. He considered for a moment calling back but he'd said all he really needed to say, the rest was ultimately down to Dean. He just hoped his brother could get over whatever was freaking him out.

He startled slightly as a set of warm hands curled around his ribs, sweeping to his hips, the gentle brush of breath on the skin between his shoulder blades. Sam instantly relaxed into the touch. Exhaling wearily, his heart leapt at the press of Gabriel's forehead to the center of his spine. They remained like that in the dark kitchen for a while, neither saying anything, just soaking in the peace. The comfortable silence was broken eventually by Gabriel's low whisper.

"Come back to bed."

Sam took a breath, sparing a final look at the moon before allowing Gabriel to lead him back to their bed.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

Gabriel tightened his arm over the large mass of muscle, flesh and bone, more commonly known as Sam Winchester. His face pressed into the curve of the man's spine, their legs tangled around one another. It really had been surprising when the hunter had called him asking to be picked up at the bus station. Every voice in Gabriel's head had said he was never going to see Sam again. That the hunter had gotten whatever curious need that had brought him back, out of his system and had decided he wasn't into it.

He'd even planned a night out to get over the man…again, because despite what the hunter had promised, Gabriel just couldn't allow himself to believe Sam actually wanted him. Wanted _this_. So when he'd heard Sam's request his heart had almost stopped.

Sam's reaction to seeing him? That was another shock, Gabriel hadn't been prepared for. He'd never been kissed like that before, so gently, so innocently, like it mattered. A kiss that so clearly said 'I'm home'. Had it been any wonder he'd gotten carried away when they'd made it back to the house? That Sam had _let_ him, left Gabriel all at sea and anchored in the same instant.

Craning his neck, Gabriel squinted at the clock. 8 am. He exhaled softly, thankful he didn't have to work, especially considering the aching in his body. He hadn't worked his muscles so hard…ever, and Kali knew a trick or two. Though when he was an angel it hadn't really been an issue. He hadn't felt discomfort or pain. – Or pleasure, in such a pure sense. Such a _human_ sense.

That life seemed like it belonged to someone else now. Like it was just a story someone had told him. It was hard to even remember how it had felt some days. Closing his eyes once more, Gabriel rolled away from the heat of Sam's overgrown body to his back. He just lay there, listening to the steady in/out of the hunter's breathing. He was almost able to fall back to sleep when the bed shifted beside him. Turning his head against the pillow he met Sam's heavy lidded hazel gaze. "Hey." He greeted quietly.

"Hey." Sam smiled sleepily back at him.

"If you're expecting breakfast in bed, you're in for a disappointing morning." Gabriel huffed.

Sam pouted ridiculously. "But I need to regain my strength. – And considering you're the reason I'm wrecked, I think it's only fair you feed me."

"Oh, you do, do you?" Gabriel drew back disbelievingly.

Sam nodded, a bright playful smile on his face.

"And what would his highness like for breakfast, exactly?"

Sam pulled a thoughtful face, running his hand absently over the swell of Gabriel's hip. "Well…right now, I could really go for another helping of sausage." His hand slipping seductively beneath the covers to grope at the ex-archangel.

A laugh burst its way out of Gabriel's chest. "Really?" he shook his head amused. "A little meat between your buns and now that's all you can think about? Whatever happened to the sasquatch that couldn't fathom such an unhealthy diet?"

Sam moved closer, his hand stroking languidly over Gabriel's already erect dick, causing the older man to moan wantonly. "You shouldn't put yourself down, it wasn't that small." He chuckled wickedly. He pulled Gabriel into a deep erotic kiss.

Gabriel gasped and moaned as Sam broke the kiss and moved his two large body down beneath the sheets, his tongue leaving a damp trail in his wake.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

Sam caught the delicious scent of eggs and ham as he descended the stairs, dragging his fingers through his still damn hair. His stomach growled at the prospect of food finally. As he got closer to the kitchen the sound of music grew louder. Pausing in the doorway, Sam smirked, leaning against the frame to watch Gabriel swing his hips seductively to the music. The scene igniting his body once again, heat pooling low in his gut.

"…to tremendous applause, she took off her drawers, with a lick of her lips, she undid all her clips. Threw it all in the air and everybody stared." Gabriel sung loudly.

Sam watched enthralled as Gabriel got more carried away, his whole body swaying, his arms swinging dangerously over his head with the spatula.

"And as the last piece of clothing fell to the floor, the police were yelling out for more! On a Saturday night, in nineteen twenty four. – On a Saturday night in nineteeeen twenty four!"

Sam chuckled, applauding.

"Fuck!" Gabriel yelled, spinning to see the hunter in the doorway.

Sam smirked wickedly, stalking towards the older man. "That's what I was just thinking. Nice hip work." He said in a rough low voice, pulling Gabriel towards him by said hips. "Though I'm not really surprised, I've felt them in action."

Gabriel narrowed his gaze up at the taller man, rolling his pelvis against Sam's thigh and pulling him down into a heated kiss.

Sam lost himself in the moment, the world around him disappearing. He still couldn't quite believe he was doing this, and enjoying it. – And wanting more. It was as if a damn had been busted open. He couldn't keep his hands off the ex-angel. Couldn't stop wanting to taste him, feel him. Be taken by him. – And _that_ was the one that was freaking him out a little bit, yet it wasn't enough to make him run. It was so surreal. He understood why his brother was freaked, but he needed someone…and it seemed that Gabriel was it.

Gabriel broke away. "Breakfast is burning." He murmured hoarsely.

"It's almost noon." Sam reminded him with a smile.

"Well you were the one who wouldn't let me out of bed until forty minutes ago. – Fine, it's lunch, okay. And it's burning."

Sam shrugged as the song on Gabriel's phone finally registered. He tightened his arms around the man, pulling him closer. "This song reminds me of the first time we met."

Gabriel glanced over at the phone with a laugh. "Yeah."

"I felt so guilty but it almost killed me not to laugh at what you did to that poor kid."

"He was hardly a poor kid, the little shit had done a _lot_ worse. Frankly he was lucky that's all _I_ did." Gabriel defended.

"I think it was enough, he's probably traumatized for life." Sam shook his head, but the amusement was still there in his eyes as he swayed Gabriel along with the song.

"He'll never do it again, so my mission was a success. – You know what I remember about our first meeting?" he asked lightly. "You flirting with me."

Sam narrowed his eyes. "I did not flirt with you."

Gabriel broke out of Sam's hold only long enough to switch off the stove before it caught fire and burnt the house down. "You were _so_ flirting with me." He smirked, slipping easily back into Sam's arms. His hands curling into the waistband of the man's jeans. "All those small seductive smiles, laughing at my unfunny jokes." He shook his head. "I was this close…" he yanked them flush together. "To giving you my number, just to see what you'd do."

Sam swallowed nervously. Had he flirted? He didn't remember consciously flirting. "I was…just being friendly. I needed you to talk."

Gabriel hummed disbelievingly, nodding. "Whatever you say, kiddo."

Sam licked his lips uncertainly, his heart racing along with his mind. Maybe he'd always been drawn to Gabriel. Involuntarily.

"Sam? Are you freaking out?" Gabriel asked, suddenly serious and very wary.

"A little, yeah."

Gabriel pulled away, putting some distance between them, silently watching Sam struggle. Wishing he'd never said anything. Kicking himself, he turned back to the stove, reaching for the pan.

Sam watched him as he threw the burnt omelette into the trash and began again. He knew he was feeling uncertain. Sam had screwed him around too many times not to leave wounds, but he was struggling to understand his own feelings and just how long he'd had them, so instead of reassuring Gabriel like he should, Sam murmured something about fixing the truck and slipped out the back door. He just needed air and silence to think.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

It was almost an hour before Gabriel worked up the courage to face the inevitable. He really only had himself to blame, not so much for teasing Sam, pushing him, but for letting himself actually believe for one fucking second that it was going to last. For one reason or another Sam was eventually going to run, it's what the kid did. It was a flaw they shared.

Maybe it was better that it happened now, before he fell any deeper, before Claire began to feel settled. Before she got her hopes up. Better for them to just cut their losses now.

Taking a deep breath Gabriel pushed through the back door and slowly made his way to the rusty old truck. It was how he knew Sam was freaking out, there was nothing wrong with the thing, so Sam should have walked back into the house forty-five minutes ago.

His heart was racing the closer he got, his stomach so tied up in knots he felt sick. Finally he came to a halt and stared down at the denim clad legs sticking out from beneath the rusted red metal. "You know there's nothin' actually wrong with this thing, right?" he was surprise by the steadiness of his voice. "I got it fixed up months ago." There was no reply, not so much as a grunt. No scrape of tools against metal either. Gabriel could almost envision Sam just laying down there staring up at the shacey. – Maye he'd even fallen asleep.

It felt like eternity before he heard the crunch of small wheels on gravel, as Sam slowly dragged himself out, his face flushed and covered with a streak of oil. His t-shirt damp with sweat, sticking to his arms and chest. If Gabriel wasn't currently so anxious, he'd be turned on. – Hell, who was he kidding, he _was_ turned on.

Sam straightened, wiping his hands on a rag from the barn and looked down at him. "You may have had it fixed, but you haven't had the oil changed."

Gabriel shrugged. "So that's what you've been doing?" his eyes scanning the darkened fingers.

Sam shrugged, his eyes flickering to the engine.

"Oh." Gabriel grunted, turning his body to lean against the open hood, watching Sam out of the corner of his eye as the hunter mirrored his position. They fell into a comfortable silence for a few minutes, the pair just staring out at the field beyond.

"I know you're freaking again." Gabriel stated matter-of-factly, his arms folded over his chest. He didn't look away from the field. "And I get it. I'm sorry… - If you're going to run though, do it now. Before…I…before Claire gets back. It was hard enough on her the first time." He sighed sadly. It was only half a lie, Claire had taken Sam's departure badly, but not nearly as badly as _he_ had.

"You're right, I am freaking out." Sam replied quietly. "Because there's every chance I've liked you a hell of a lot longer than I realized."

"I was messing with you, Sam." Gabriel said quickly. "You weren't…I mean you were but it hadn't meant anything. You were just doing what you had to do, I knew that. I _know_ that. – I've done it myself."

Sam twisted his body, his hip resting against the grate. "If that were true…" he sighed. "I wouldn't have let you kiss me. I wouldn't have kissed you back."

Gabriel flushed at the memory of that first kiss, it seemed like an eternity ago now. "That wasn't anything either. We were….dealing with…"

"That's what I told myself at the time." Sam nodded, his gaze burning into the side of the ex-angel's face. "But then I would have just brushed it off. We would have just gone on like nothing had happened. – I _wouldn't_ have gone out, gotten blind drunk and picked up the first _girl_ I could find. I wouldn't have punched you." He exhaled, taking a step closer. "I wouldn't have cared if you'd died after healing me. I wouldn't have gotten so angry at you telling _everyone_ we were together, because it was the most logical thing to say to avoid questions." He smirked, moving closer still. "I wouldn't have given a rat's ass that you went out with…Rita. – I would have been able to get laid without a black hole in the pit of my stomach."

Gabriel stared up at Sam with wide amber eyes. He swallowed thickly at the intensity he saw in the hunter's face, as well as the sincerity. His breath hitched when Sam took another step towards him, closing the final few inches.

"And it wouldn't have hurt when you _made me_ leave."

"I…had to Sam."

"I know." Sam nodded understandingly. "But I'm back now Gabe…and I meant what I said, you're not getting rid of me so easily again." He breathed; leaning in to capture the shorter man's lips, his oil covered hands curving over Gabriel's jaw.

The ex-archangel moaned softly, melting into Sam's warm welcoming arms, his own hands tightening into the folds of the grey sweat drenched t-shirt as he surrendered. The weight he'd been suffocating under lifting, finally allowing hope in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone was wondering about the song Gabriel was dancing too, it's Patricia the Stripper by Chris De Burgh.


	7. Chapter 7

"This is ridiculous." Gabriel grumbled over the top of the menu, his eyes scanning the vast array of dishes, his smirk hidden by the large book.

"Why is it ridiculous for me to take my partner out for dinner while our _daughter_ is away camping?" Sam asked flatly. His own eyes never leaving his menu.

Gabriel chuckled lightly. "What's ridiculous, _sweetheart_ , is that this was your idea, yet _I'm_ paying."

Sam's set the menu down and looked across the candlelit table. "You know I'd pay but I don't have any cash and I can't exactly use my cards, can I?"

Gabriel sighed, setting his menu down and meeting Sam's guilty green eyes. "I was kidding Sam."

"Are you gentlemen ready to order?" the waiter asked, appearing out of nowhere. The pair cleared their throats and gave their orders, only relaxing again when the young man walked away, leaving them alone.

"So what now?" Gabriel asked, fussing with his napkin.

"What?"

Gabriel met his eyes. "I'm not exactly used to all this…dating stuff."

Sam couldn't help but smile. "Two hundred years and you never went on a date?" his voice low so they weren't overheard.

The ex-archangel flushed slightly, struggling. "The first few centuries were spent…adjusting." He murmured, looking awkwardly down at the table. "Once I became a trickster." He cleared his throat. "They pretty much came to me."

Sam stared across the table, scowling, though amusement shone in his eyes. "So you took advantage of all those poor innocent pagans to get your rocks off?"

"I was young okay!" Gabriel snapped defensively. "And I never forced anyone."

"You didn't have to, you were a god for all intents and purposes, they did whatever you asked without question."

Gabriel glared, his jaw working. "So I manipulated people for my own ends." He stated angrily. "What do you expect with my family? – It's just who I am."

Sam stared at him, his eyes narrow, searching. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Well you're not that guy anymore." He said flatly.

Gabriel let out a grunt and reached for his beer.

The pair fell silent, awkwardly sitting across from one another, neither looking up from the fascinating table settings.

"You can't beat yourself up over what you've done." Sam said finally, his fingers playing with his fork.

"Who said I was beating myself up over anything? I did what I did because I wanted to. I'm not apologizing for it." Gabriel stated firmly. His eyes, glowing in candlelight.

"So you're not sorry? At all?" Sam frowned.

"It's not like I went around slaughtering babies, I punished those who needed punishing. – And okay, maybe I took advantage of a girl or guy here and there, so what? They sleep with me because I'm a god, they sleep with me because you're…." He wavered his hand at Sam. "…that and save their lives from the big bad monster under the bed."

"I don't…"

"What? Sleep with the damsels in distressed?" Gabriel scoffed. "You want names Winchester?"

Sam flushed, dropping his gaze. "No. – Look lets change the subject before one of us says something we'll regret." He sighed, chugging his beer then waving for the waiter. "Can we have another two beers?"

They sat waiting for their food without another word passing between them. It hadn't been what Sam had expected when he'd suggested going out for dinner. He'd envisioned a comfortable meal, light conversation and then back home for….desert. Now though he was sat feeling angry, awkward and a little guilty. He wasn't even sure what they'd been arguing about.

He was about to attempt to break the ice that was now stretched between them when he caught sight of two familiar faces over Gabriel's shoulder and his stomach dropped.

"Gabriel?"

Sam watched as the couple moved over to them, Annabella's eyes burning accusingly into him.

"Annabella? Harvey? What are you guys doing here?" Gabriel said looking up as the pair hovered beside their table.

"Same as you it would seem." The woman smiled before turning that furious glare back to Sam. "Sam? You're back."

"Yeah, got some time off work." He answered as casually as he could.

"I see." She looked between the pair of them. "Are you staying long?" Sam shrugged. "I'm waiting to hear. I'm hoping to be spending more time here with Gabriel and Claire." He smiled tightly, fighting to hid the irritation at the woman's question.

Annabella looked from Sam to Gabriel, concern clearly showing on her face. "And your….okay with that?" she asked Gabriel quietly.

Sam clenched his jaw, his fingers tightening around the handle of his knife. A nervous knot wrapping around his inside. After the last twenty minutes of discomfort and stress, it wouldn't really surprise him if the man turned around and kicked him to the curb….again.

The apologetic clearing of a throat had everyone looking up to find a waiter hover with two plates.

"I think that's our cue." Harvey said, placing his hands on his wife's shoulders and forcing her away from the table. "Enjoy your dinner, guys. I was nice to see you again Sam."

The couple moved away with hushed angry words passing between them, allowing the waiter to deposit their meals in front of them with an awkward intrigued glance between Sam and Gabriel. He'd clearly heard enough to spark his interest and no doubt they'd been the main topic of speculation in the kitchen once he got back. He finally left with a polite smile and a murmured "If you want anything else."

Sam stared down at his food, suddenly at a loss, his appetited gone. He glanced up through his lashes to find Gabriel staring at him.

"Just ignore it." The ex-archangel ordered quietly.

"What does she think happened?" Sam asked softly, his voice almost a whispered.

"She doesn't think anything, she knows."

Sam stared at the other man, eyes wide. "Knows what exactly?"

"That we had a fight and you left…"

"You kicked me out." Sam quickly corrected.

Gabriel sighed, cutting into his stake. "Fine."

"You told her everything?" he asked nervously.

"Not all the gory details, but I couldn't not explain the black eyes."

Sam gapped at him. That punched had been haunting him since the moment he'd swung it. "Couldn't you have said it was from the accident?"

Gabriel looked at him with a raised brow. "Not when she'd been the one to drive me home from the hospital, no."

Sam groaned, reaching for his beer and gulping down almost all of it in a single moment.

"Look it's not important." Gabriel said, trying to sound reassuring. – And forgiving.

"Sam scoffed then leant across the table, his voice even. "So now everyone thinks I'm some kind of wife beating asshole."

"I'm not your wife." Gabriel smirked, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"You know what I mean, Gabriel." He growled, glancing over to where the other couple sat looking over their menus as another waiter hovered impatiently.

"Hey." Gabriel snapped, knocked Sam's shin to get his attention. "Quit it. Yeah you hit me but so what? I've done worse to you over the years. I sent a chainsaw wielding manic after you. I squashed, ran over and electrocuted your brother. – As well as a ton of other stuff. – I slapped you a good dozen time, hard. And I crushed your balls, and gave you genital herpes, believe me, Kiddo, one black eyes wasn't even close to payback."

Sam stared at the ex-archangel intently. "It was three." He said finally, his voice evening out.

"What?" Gabriel frowned confused.

"She only slapped me three times." Sam clarified, dropping his gaze to his meal where he began to finally tuck in, the tension of the last few moments vanishing.

Gabriel chuckled, cutting at the stake while watching Sam. He waited for the hunter to place the meat in his mouth before speaking again. "It wasn't her slapping you Winchester, it was me." He laughed as Sam's eyes went wide and he glowered at Gabriel. The ex-angel almost disappointed that the statement hadn't resulted in Sam choking.

"You mean….she was _you_?"

Gabriel simply grinned and went back to eating, neither confirming nor denying the accusation but the sparkle in his eyes when he looked up through his lashes told Sam everything.

The rest of the evening passed a lot less stressfully, the pair spending the remainder of their date talking casually. They spoke about what Sam had done the year he'd been away. How Gabriel had gone from helping out at the school to becoming a deputy. How Claire had met Isaac and how school was going for her. Gabriel proudly stating that her grades were so good she had the third highest GPA in the county and was already on the honour roll. They'd already been discussing college.

"Does she have anywhere in mind?" Sam asked over the last of his stake.

Gabriel shook his head. "She can pretty much go anywhere, but…" He tailed off for a moment. "She keeps talking about hunting."

Sam stiffened. "What? I thought we'd been through this." He said harshly. "I don't want her out there, she can have a normal life, no one's after her anymore."

"I know but… she wants to help people. Like you and Dean."

"She can help people by becoming something else. A lawyer, a doctor. She doesn't need this life."

"That's what I told her, she didn't look convinced." Gabriel said pushing his plate away from him. "I don't think she's going to just drop it, Sam."

"I'll talk to her, try to make her see sense. Her parents wouldn't want her putting her life in danger." He sighed wearily, reaching for the last of his wine, emptying the glass. "If we knew where Cas was I'd get him to talk to her."

Gabriel looked over at him almost defensively. "Cas isn't her father Sam!" he almost growled.

"I'm aware of that." Sam murmured; surprised at the ex-angels hostel tone. "But she might listen to him. They were…." He glanced around and dropped his voice, leaning forward to speak. "Bonded or whatever."

Gabriel shrugged. "There's another problem with your plan though, Kiddo. You can't even be sure you can trust Cas. From what you've told me it sounds like Heaven has their claws in him again."

Sam slumped in his seat. "Yeah. I just wish I knew why."

"To get to Kevin most probably. You have no idea how pathetic and desperate that lot get when it comes to the word of god." He shook his head. "Like _he_ gives a crap about _them_." He slouched in the chair, folding his arms angrily.

"You don't know where he is?" Sam asked curiously.

Gabriel smirked. "Not a clue, he didn't exactly look me up when he hit town." He couldn't help the laugh that burst out of him. "He'd have a hell of a shock if he did." He smirked over at Sam.

"Would either of you gentleman like to see the dessert menu?" the waiter interrupted, reaching for their plates.

Gabriel's heavy lidded gaze landed on Sam as he replied. "No thanks, I think we'll have dessert at home." He blatantly winked across the table and ran his foot up the inside of Sam's leg beneath it. "Just the check please."

"Of course." The waiter nodded, biting back a grin as he carried the plates away.

"You're incorrigible." Sam sighed, laughing and shaking his head at the other man.

"But you're so cute when you go that shade of red, like a perfect round cherry." He replied huskily. "I can't wait to pop you in my mouth. - Ow!" he gasped a split second later when Sam kicked his shin. "Asshole."

"Midget." Sam shot back. "I need to take a leak." He informed him, getting to his feet, dropping his napkin on the table top.

"Don't worry, I won't leave without you sweetheart." Gabriel called after him with a laugh.

No sooner had Sam emptied his chair than Annabella was filling it, her face pinched with ire and concern. Gabriel inhaled slowly and waited for her to voice her disappointment and disapproval.

"Are you seriously taking him back?" she demanded.

Gabriel took another breath, folding his arms over his chest as he regarded his friend. "I've _already_ taken him back." He informed coolly.

"Gabriel." She sighed saddened. "I know you're lonely but you're better than this. You deserve better than _him_."

Gabriel wanted to say he really didn't because there wasn't anyone better than Sam, and if she knew him, really knew him, she'd know that. Only he didn't get the chance.

"He hit you Gabe."

"I was there, thank you. I remember perfectly."

"You can't go back to him. He'll do it again, no matter what he says." Part of Gabriel really appreciated her concern, really, but another part of him was just getting irritated. "Ann, he didn't hit me, we had a fight and things were said, fist were flying. We're men, it's what we do."

"Don't defend him, Gabriel." She said fiercely. "Just because you're both guys doesn't mean it's not domestic abuse."

That was it, he couldn't hold it in anymore and it presented itself in the form of his loud laugh that had the whole room looking at him. He shook his head at the concerned and angry woman across from him. "Domestic abuse? Seriously? One punch between two guys who weren't even sleeping together does not a broken home make."

"What?"

Gabriel leaned forward, meeting his friend's eyes seriously. He liked Annabelle, loved her even but she had no god-damn idea who she was talking about. "Look Ann, you don't know me, you don't know Sam, you have no idea what the complexities of our relationship or our lives are. You have no idea what goes on behind my closed door, just as I have no idea what goes on behind yours. For all you know of my life, I could have a dungeon in my basement with whips and chains. Hell, so could you. So you're just going to have to take my word for it when I say Sam isn't the wife beating type and even if he were, I'm not the type to take that shit."

Annabella stared at him with a gaping mouth, her face a bright red. Gabriel suddenly felt guilty, but then reminded himself that he was just stating the facts, that she'd started it by doubting him. Doubting Sam. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a night of hot steamy sex planned." He pushed back his chair just as Sam appeared over Annabella's shoulder. He sent a smile over to Harvey who looked torn between apologizing and defending his wife's honour. "Come on Sammy. - Night Ann." He smiled sweetly before turning and marching away.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

"Don't you think you were a little hard on her?" Sam murmured three blocks from the restaurant.

Gabriel continued to silently stare out of the pick-up window, his only acknowledgement of the situation came in the form of a minute shoulder shrug.

Sam's eyes flickered over to the older man, narrowing slightly. "Gabe?"

"Domestic abuse." He scoffed, repeating Annabella's accusation like it was acid on his tongue. Maybe he had been harsh but she'd pissed him off. Insulted not only Sam's character that while not exactly stellar and beyond reproach was certainly a far cry from an abusive husband, she'd also insulted _him_. Like he'd let Sam beat him to shit. It had been one punch, in the heat of the moment. A punch he'd practically been begging for if he was honest. – And he hadn't just rolled over and pretended it hadn't happened. He hadn't lied to cover it up, he'd told Annabella and Rita flat out that Sam had hit him. He wasn't a fucking push-over and never would be.

"What?"

Gabriel's head snapped around to stare at the hunter. "That's what she said, like you were punching seven shades of shit out of me daily. Like I'd _let_ you. – Like she knows shit about our lives." He spat turning back to the window with a low growl, his fingers clenching tight on his thigh, as if trying to stop himself from dishing out punishment. Which he couldn't anyway, not anymore. "She's lucky I can't show her what domestic abuse is." He said in a cold unfeeling voice of his past.

Sam stared at him, Gabriel could feel the eyes burning into his face but he didn't turn to meet them. He was too angry, too trapped in his own body with no way to release the tension.

"You were the one that told her I hit you." Sam reminded him matter-of-factly.

Gabriel's head instantly snapped around, his eyes narrowing and blazing with ire. "As opposed to saying I walked into a fucking door? That would have been better?"

"No." Sam exhaled wearily, falling silent. Both hands tight around the steering wheel as he found distraction in his driving.

Gabriel watched him, his eyes scanning Sam's profile. The man's aftershave clinging on every intake of air. His blood racing at every movement the younger man's throat made, igniting a fire in his gut. He didn't even think twice as he ducked forward towards Sam's lap, startling the hunter with the rapid unexpected motion, his intentions clear.

"Gabe, I'm driving." Sam said, suddenly breathless. His fingers sliding into the thin strands of Gabriel's hair. Though whether his intension was to stop the ex-archangel or encourage him, neither man knew.

The silence in the truck was broken by the sound of a zipper being lowered and Sam's sharp intake of breath, followed swiftly by two throaty moans.

"I…don't… think we… should be… doing this." Sam panted while Gabriel's fingers worked around fabric till he found silky flesh.

Gabriel didn't reply, didn't reassure or agree, he simply swept his tongue over the exposed head, causing Sam to choke on a gasp and swerve on the road. Gabriel craned his neck to smirk up at the hunter. "We'll be fine, as long as you keep us in the right lane." He chuckled hoarsely then dropped his mouth back down.

This time Sam didn't swerve, or choke, he just fixed both hands determinedly to the wheel and held tight. "It's not… going… to look good…" he groaned as the older man's tongue probed at the slit. "…if…a deputy gets…caught giving…. _ahhhh_ …"

Gabriel laughed, causing his throat to constrict and Sam to let out a broken moan. The muscles in Sam's gut tightened as his orgasm grew closer. As Sam felt the heat pooling in his balls he pulled sharply on the wheel, the truck skidding to a stop on the dirt covered layby. Instantly Sam flew back against the seat, his eyes closed and his fingers closing around the strands of Gabriel's hair, nails scraping at his scalp. The head rising and falling quicker and quicker, drawing out the pleasure till finally Sam's vision went white, his hips jerking as he shot his load.

Sam was catching his breath when Gabriel released him, leaning over to wind down the window and spit his cum out onto the dirt. The instant his mouth was empty and his head was pulled back in, Sam grabbed his neck, pulling him into a deep filthy kiss.

Pulling away breathlessly Gabriel smiled, his eyes heavy with desire and his cock pressing insistently into Sam's thigh. "Take us home Winchester." He murmured huskily. "I need to strip you naked and ride you hard."

Sam's breath caught in his throat as he pulled back out onto the highway, taking them home, Gabriel's head lulling wearily against the larger man's shoulder.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

The scream of the alarm had Gabriel jerking awake to a dark room. He blinked back the sleep crusting his eyes and glimpsed at the clock with a tired sight, he reached out to silence the painful noise, a soft moan rumbling behind him, the arm around his waist tightening to pull him back into the warmth of the blankets and body. Gabriel closed his eyes and sank back into his lover's embrace, but he knew he couldn't surrender to it, he had to work. With a regretful sigh, he began to pull away.

"Where are you going?" Sam grumbled, his voice hoard from sleep.

"I've got the early shift." Gabriel replied, fighting against Sam's stronger hold.

"Must you?"

Gabriel looked over his shoulder at the younger man. "Are we going to go through this every morning?"

Sam smiled sleepily. "Most probably."

Gabriel rolled his eyes and continued to slip from the bed, Sam finally relinquishing him. Setting his feet on the cold hardwood floor, he rubbed at his face, his fingertips catching on the night's growth. Pushing himself to stand, he padded through the darkened room to the bathroom, ignoring Sam's protest. Once he switched on the shower he turned to meet his reflection, staring into his amber eyes, forest green in their depths. He took in the fine lines that hadn't been there before his death. Searching his features he also noted the greying of the hair at his temples and among the stubble on his chin, with a gentle exhale Gabriel ran his fingers through his hair. Before he hadn't much thought of his own mortality. He was an archangel, he wasn't meant to die. He was meant to be eternal like his father. Then Lucifer had run him through and he'd spent what felt like eternity in a cold nightmare void. Now all he could think about was that place, as he stared at his aging face, growing closer and closer to death with each passing second. A dark pit at the end of a quickly shortening tunnel.

"Gabriel?"

He turned with a start to find Sam watching him, dressed only in his underwear, the florescent light enhancing the toned muscle. Looking at the much younger man he could see age sneaking into his features too, there were more lines than had been there a year ago, his face filling out, but he was still handsome. Gabriel had been handsome once, or at least a few of his vessels had, until he'd taken the one he would now carry to his death.

Sam stepped into the bathroom, right up to him, towering over him as he always did. Once upon a time, Sam would have been considered a giant, literally like Goliath. That man hadn't been all that taller than Sam, standing perhaps seven, maybe eight inches above the man in front of him. And because of it, men had trembled, armies' coward. "Gabe, you okay?"

Gabriel shook himself from his thoughts. "I'm fine." He replied quietly, stepping past Sam and into the shower, the water raining down on him, bombarding his flesh like tears. He buried his face under the down pour, silently hoping to wash away the humanity. Unable to shake the sudden melancholy. It wasn't the first he'd been haunted by the thoughts, they'd floated through his mind on occasion, especially back when he'd first been released from purgatory. He never knew what triggered them, perhaps he'd dreamt about that empty place, or maybe it was finally having Sam in his bed, his life and feeling happy and at peace, that the end taunted him from the shadows. Whatever it was, those icy fingers were clenching tightly around him and no amount of warm water could wash it away.

A sharp cold breeze slammed into his back and he shivered, turning. He found Sam stood behind him. "Why don't you go back to bed, you don't need to be up."

Sam moved closer, pressing his body flush against the smaller man's, his hands skimming over Gabriel's hip. "I'm already up."

Gabriel couldn't help but laugh at the obvious innuendo. "I've created a monster." He huffed, melting into the hunter's touch. The dark thoughts being chased away by Sam's open mouth suckling the curve of his neck.

"I need…"

"Hmmm."

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "…to get ready for work." He finished as Sam bit at the tender skin beneath his ear, then craned his neck to capture the man's mouth, twisting around in Sam's arms.

After a few minutes of heated kisses, Sam reached for the soap, dragging it over Gabriel's back. "Then allow me to help."

Gabriel sighed contently, his tongue swirling around Sam's nipple as the younger man washed his neck, shoulders and back. Sam moaned and slowly began to lower himself to his knees. His soapy hand slipping down the back of Gabriel's thighs before turning to the curve of his ass, massaging the orbs.

"Fuck Winchester. " Gabriel growled, his fingers tangled in the man's long damp locks, tugging insistently. "You're going to be the death of me."

"Sam smiled up at him, his own fingers slipping between the cleft, pressing seductively at the older man's entrance, till one of the digits slipped inside.

Before Gabriel could catch his breath his whole body was engulfed in pleasure when Sam slowly dragged his tongue up his painfully erect cock, before taking the head into his mouth.

He didn't last long, not with Sam's double assault. He came with a curse, his fingers tightening in the mop of wet hair, looking down to watch Sam's cheeks fill, watching his seed seeping from the corners as the hunter remained determinedly wrapped around him. But eventually he couldn't' take anymore and pulled away, the last of Gabriel's discharge landing on his cheek as he turned to spit the cum into the running water.

Tugging on the strands of brown hair in his fingers, Gabriel forced Sam to his feet. Once he was hovering over him once more, the ex-angel wiped the white streak from Sam's cheek before taking his mouth in a slow languid kiss, moaning at the taste of himself clinging to the man's tongue and pallet.

"Feel better?" Sam asked roughly, breaking the kiss.

Gabriel stared up at him, surprised and heartened. "Much. – Now get the fuck out of my shower so I can finished getting washed."

Sam pouted ridiculously. "That's it? Get lost. What about this?" he dropped his eyes meaningfully down at his own impressive erection.

"What, you lost the use of your hand?" Gabriel huffed, even as a teasing smile lightened his eyes and he pulled Sam back into a kiss, his hand moving to ease the man's discomfort.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

Gabriel stretched out his back as he climbed out of the cruiser to head back into the station. The last couple of days with Sam had yet again managed to prove he wasn't the everlasting, energetic archangel he'd once been. He wasn't getting any younger as the saying went. He shook the thoughts off, slamming down the barriers on the encroaching depressing worries. Though not before he saw there ugly faces, heard their whispers taunting that Sam wouldn't want him when he was old and grey.

"Gabriel?"

The familiar voice startled him and he turned, his hand frozen on the door as Annabella walked toward him cautiously. Slowly removing his hand, he shoved it into the pocket of his pants and squared his shoulders, forcing a smile to his lips. The woman stopped in front of him, looking almost as awkward and nervous as he was.

"Annabella."

"Gabriel." She repeated with a nod.

The pair stood silently, neither meeting the other gaze until eventually Annabella broke the suffocating silence. "I owe you an apology."

Gabriel's eyes snapped to meet the woman's regretful gaze.

"I realize that…I over stepped. I have no right to intervene in your relationship."

Gabriel could clearly hear the inner torment. "You were just being a friend, I shouldn't have spoken to you like that."

Annabella smiled sadly. "I just don't want to see you getting hurt, Gabriel. – I guess I let my own issues cloud my judgement."

"Your issues?"

Annabella dropped her gaze, her hands slipping into her jacket pocket. "Rita…. got into a pretty violent relationship a decade or so ago. The thing was I…. didn't see it." She sniffed, meeting his gaze with watery blue eyes. "I didn't see a damn thing. I believed her excuses when she turned up at my house with a black eye, because he was such a nice man. Educated, charming, good looking. In front of everyone he seemed to dolt on her." She shook her head furiously. "Behind closed doors he was….beating her black and blue."

Gabriel inhaled sharply. "What happened?" the guy was clearly not around anymore or he and Gabriel would have had words.

Annabella shrugged. "He died. It wasn't until he was gone that Rita told me what had been going on. I felt so ashamed of myself, she's my kid sister Gabriel and I should have known." A tear slipped down her red flushed cheek and Gabriel instantly pulled her into a tight hug.

"Anyway." Annabella sniffled, pulling free of his embrace. "That's why I was…"

"I understand." Gabriel reassured. "But I can promise you, Ann, Sam wasn't like that. We've always had a heated relationship, I've been just as…hands on with him at times. Our personalities clash sometimes. Him hitting me really was just a one off."

Annabella's eyes searched his for a moment before sighing in surrender. "Just promise me that if he ever does hit you, you'll tell me. You'll leave him."

Gabriel smiled sadly at her. "I promise." He pulled her into another hug and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Thank you for telling me. – And for watching my back."

"Just don't tell Rita I told you, okay. She doesn't like to talk about it, for obvious reasons."

"I won't say a word. – Now I've got to go, Sam and Claire'll be expecting me."

"Sure thing." She nodded. "Night Gabe."

"Night." He smiled back brightly.

Gabriel watched his friend walk away feeling a mixture of anger towards Rita's dead boyfriend and joy that his relationship with Annabella wasn't completely destroyed.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

Sam had never felt so relaxed in his life. It was like everything had fallen into place, everything he'd spent years trying to claw back from the ship heap that had become his life, was finally his. Well almost. There was still the fact he hadn't spoken to Dean in days and it hurt. He hadn't seriously expected his brother to cut him off so entirely. Sure he understood he was more than a little shocked by Sam's sudden life choice, but did that really mean they couldn't work together? Did that mean they weren't brothers anymore? He'd never really imagined they'd come to this, but maybe it shouldn't be such a surprise. They'd been at each other's throats since Dean had gotten back and not just about Benny. The vampire was more of a symptom than the actual cause.

He couldn't help but wonder when their relationship had disintegrated like this, except he knew the answer deep down. They'd never been the same after Ruby. She'd destroyed any trust and faith they'd had. – No, _he'd_ destroyed it, by listening to her in the first place. By lying to Dean endlessly.

"You okay?"

Sam looked down at the head in his lap, the concerned amber eyes looking up at him making his heart skip a beat. She'd never looked at him like that. At least not and actually meant it. He just hadn't wanted to see the lies and it had almost cost the world. "I'm fine."

Gabriel looked unconvinced but didn't push, instead turning his attention back to the TV. Sam stared down at the peaceful ex-archangel, still awed at the fact he was actually here with him. That they were _together_. He let his fingers drift through the man's fine hair, smiling at the soft sound of pleasure Gabriel made, almost like a purr.

Lifting his gaze away from the man, he glanced over to the armchair to watch Claire. Curled up, her feet tucked beneath her, her head resting on one arm while her fingers threaded thought the soft fur of the dog beside her, his head resting comfortably on his paw.

A warmth spread through him and Sam felt himself melt further into the couch. He was content. No, happy. Happier than he'd been since losing Jessica. If Dean was really willing to deny him this then fine, he wasn't going to lose sleep over it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this chapter is a little too soppy and sickly sweet. I just wanted to slip in a little normality before a more angst comes up. I hope the boy's date wasn't too bad. I was trying to capture that awkwardness and uncertainty of a first date, despite the fact they've known each for years. I just kept picturing Sam's date with Sarah back in season 1.
> 
> Also being English I know nothing about the American school system so I apologize for any and all mistakes surrounding Claire's education.


	8. Chapter 8

It was barely dawn when the sound of distorted music broke the silence of the room. Sam groaned, burrowing deeper under the covers and closer to the warmth of Gabriel's body. He was jolted out of his sleep however, a second later the man's elbow connected with his ribs.

"Hmm?"

"Your phone." Gabriel grumbled, his voice rough with sleep.

Sam's eyes shot open at the realization his cell was blaring from the nightstand. The fog cleared instantly and Sam twisted his body to snatch the small device off the wooden surface. "Dean?" he demanded, panicked.

" _I'm on my way to Michigan. If you still want in?"_

Sam's heart skipped at the white flag his brother was seemingly waving. "Yeah, I want in. What is it?"

" _Don't know yet, Garth called."_

Sam looked over at Gabriel, feeling the man's eyes on him. "Where are you now?"

" _At the all night diner twenty miles from town."_

"I…I can be ready to go in an hour."

" _Fine."_

The line went dead before Sam could say anything else. He stared down at his phone as if it were an illusion.

"You're going?" Gabriel asked flatly.

Sam set his cell on the nightstand and threw back the covers. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Because it's been a week and he hasn't once called." Gabriel pointed out, shifting up to sit against the headboard, watching Sam grabbing clothes from the dresser and closet.

"You know Dean. He doesn't deal well with change. – This is his peace offering."

"Right. God forbid he should pick up a phone and say, _"hey bro, I know I was a jerk, I'm sorry."_ "

Sam looked over his shoulder at the older man. " _I_ didn't." He reminded him.

Gabriel scoffed. "Don't remind me. - No one could ever deny you two are related that's for sure."

Sam carried his things over to the bed, dumping them before beginning to pack.

"Will you be back for thanksgiving?" Gabriel asked.

"Thanksgiving?" Sam frowned, looking up from his duffle.

"You know, national holiday. Pumpkin pie, turkey, cranberry sauce."

"I know what it is smartass. We should be done by Thursday I can't imagine a case taking more than a few days."

"Good, cause Claire's been looking forward to it all week." He said meaningfully.

Sam smiled reassuringly. "I'll be home for thanksgiving. I promise." He knelt across the bed to seal the promise with a kiss.

"You better be, Winchester."

"You know you're really not that threatening now you can't drop me in TV land or send Bigfoot after me." He smirked.

Gabriel narrowed his eyes. "Oh, believe me I can deliver a worse fate without the need of grace."

"Oh yeah?" Sam challenged.

"Yeah. It's called the spare room." raising his brow.

Sam chuckled, sitting to tie his boots. "I'll be sure to be home then."

With his boots on and his bag packed he grabbed his phone. "I'll leave the truck at the all-night diner."

"You want me to drive you?"

Sam shook his head. "Probably not a good idea."

"So you're just going to keep us apart forever?"

"No." Sam replied sharply. "Just until I can be sure he's not going to shoot you." He leant over the bed again pressing a hungry kiss to the man's thin lips. "Tell Claire I'll see her in a few days."

"Be careful." Gabriel said softly as Sam retreated.

"You too."

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

Sam stepped into the small roadside diner and glanced around. He smiled as he caught sight of Dean sat in one of the booths nursing a mug of coffee and flirting with the pretty waitress. Taking a deep breath Sam headed towards him.

"I love kids." Dean was saying before trailing off at the first glimpse of his brother.

The waitress looked over at him and smiled. While her smile was bright it was clear to see the shadows beneath her tired eyes. "What can I get ya sweetheart?"

"Just coffee thanks." Sam replied sliding into the booth across from Dean.

The waitress poured the coffee and then wandered off, leaving the brothers alone for the first time in over a week. They sat in tense silence for a few minutes, Sam sipped at his coffee. Before too long though it became too much for the younger Winchester. "How have you been?"

Dean shrugged. "Fine. Garth's kept me busy. – You been hunting?"

Sam frowned. "No."

They fell silent again, both men focused on their coffees. Dean's eyes flickering over to the counter and the young waitress. Sam opened his mouth to speak but cut himself off. He hated it when they were like this, distant, cold. He'd hoped they'd never have to have this gulf again. "Maybe we should get going?" Sam said, uncomfortable with the silence.

"You in a rush to get this job done?"

Sam inhaled slowly, meeting his brother's gaze. "No. – I'm just don't want to sit here with you sending me death glares and making snide comments about my relationship."

"I haven't said a word about your…." Dean trailed off, unable to say the final words.

"If you don't want me here, why'd you call?"

"I never said I don't want you here." Dean replied sharply. "And you wanted back in, remember?"

"I was never out Dean. You demanded I make a choice and I refused to do that."

Dean got up angrily, dropping ten dollars on the table then walked away.

Sam grumbled under his breath as he slid out of the booth and rushed after his brother. "Dean?"

"Can we just do our job?" Dean demanded, yanking open the Impala door and sliding smoothly behind the wheel, waiting for Sam.

Sam quickly checked the truck, making sure it was locked then slipped into the passenger seat. Dean stared at the truck Sam had left in the parking lot. "Where'd you get that piece of junk?"

"It was abandoned along with the house."

Dean huffed dismissively, starting the engine. The Impala roared out onto the highway, neither man saying another word for over an hour. Sam stared out the window, the tension in the suddenly too small car suffocating.

When Sam couldn't take the silence anymore, he asked. "Have you heard from Cas?" He wasn't at all surprised to see the tick in his brother's jaw. He knew the answer by the sadness of Dean's face, the same sadness he'd seen when they'd thought Cas had died. He knew Gabriel wasn't just yanking his chain all those times he'd made a comment about the pair, but it was hard to really imagine, especially considering Dean's current stance concerning him and Gabriel.

"No." Dean replied flatly, his fingers tightening around the wheel.

Sam frowned over at him. "What about…Benny?"

Dean met his gaze with a hard blazing glare. "I don't think that's any of your business."

Sam inhaled sharply, it probably wasn't. He turned back to the highway, the slowly breaking daylight turning the dark sky a soft pink. "This is going to be fun." He grumbled under his breath.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

"How are things going?" Gabriel asked, his hands coated in flour as he prepared dinner.

" _Well that depends on what you mean, the case or Dean?"_ Sam's voice echoed from the phone on the counter.

"Dean."

" _About as well as you could expect, the tension is killing me. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea."_

"Well you can always come home, let Dean deal with it."

" _I can't do that Gabe. I have to see this through. – But if it doesn't improve this may be our last hunt."_

Gabriel inhaled slowly. "What about the case?"

" _Insane."_ Sam sighed. _"It could almost be one of yours."_

"Doubtful no one has my style." Gabriel snarked as he rolled the pastry over the pie tin.

Sam chuckled. _"I don't know, this is pretty imaginative. Two dead LARPers. One ripped to pieces, according to witness statements, by horses. And another practically exploded."_

"Whoa, gross. – Messy."

" _Yeah. The only thing the guys having in common is the LARPing thing, so we're gonna head out on Saturday to talk to them."_

Gabriel frowned down at the phone, as if Sam could see his face. "Saturday?"

" _Yeah, sorry. I'm not going to make it back for Thanksgiving."_

Gabriel huffed, why was he even surprised?

" _Hey, it's just a couple of days. I am coming back."_

"Right."

" _Gabriel."_

"I get it okay. IT's just thanksgiving, it doesn't matter. They'll be others."

" _Yeah, there will be but I know you're pissed, I can hear it in your voice. You wanted me to keep hunting, remember?"_

"That was before."

" _Before? Before what? Before Dean came back or before we started sleeping together?"_

"Is that all we're doing? Sleeping together?" Gabriel groaned out. "Is this just sex to you? Am I just a convenience?"

" _Gabe, you know that's not what I'm saying. Don't put words in my mouth."_ Sam snapped angrily.

Gabriel huffed, slamming around the kitchen as he shoved the pie in the oven and began to tidy up.

" _Gabriel!"_ Sam snapped.

"I'm cooking. I'll call you later."

"Fine." Sam replied sharply, sighing as he quickly hung up.

The line went dead leaving Gabriel alone in the silent kitchen, not sure why he'd just bitten Sam's head off over something so pointless. So he wasn't coming home for thanksgiving, so he'd said they were 'sleeping together', that's what they were doing, what did he want the guy to say? That they were in love? He shook his head, which was ridiculous, it had only been a couple of weeks.

Gabriel froze. His eyes fixed on the overhead cabinet, his heart suddenly racing. He couldn't be, it was Sam Winchester. Sure he found him attractive, he enjoyed having sex with him, liked waking up with him, but that didn't mean….

"Dad?" Claire's voice pulled him from his suddenly topsy-turvy world.

Gabriel's head snapped around, his gaze unfocused. "Yeah?"

"Was that Sam?"

"Yeah." Gabriel breathed. "He won't be back for thanksgiving." He stated coolly, turning back to the food.

"Oh." Claire sighed sadly. "The case?"

Gabriel nodded, numbly moving around the kitchen, his head whirling with the revelation that he'd actually gone and fallen in love with the damn obnoxious Sasquatch.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

Sam walked toward the large tent they'd been directed to, all the while trying to ignore Dean's seemingly ever constant stare. Over the past week things between them had only gotten worse, and he knew it was his fault. He'd been snappish and argumentative. – More so than usual, he might add. Not that he didn't have reason to be off with his brother but….it wasn't really Dean he was pissed with, it was Gabriel.

He hadn't spoken to the ex-archangel since their fight four days ago. The thing was it was a ridiculous fight, Gabriel had completely overreacted. So he wasn't going to make it back in time for thanksgiving, was it really such a big deal? It wasn't like it was all that important to them. - He'd only ever really had two thanksgivings his whole life, and Gabriel must have seen so many it had lost all meaning, hell the guy had probably attended the first thanksgiving.

It wasn't helped by being unable to talk about what was bothering him. Every time he so much as mentioned Gabriel's name, Dean turned red and glared like he was trying to make his head explode, so Sam kept quiet. Which only added to the tension and discomfort of the trip.

He wished it didn't have to be like that, he really did, cause he could do with some advice, even from Dean. Instead he just had to bury his worries away and focus on the case, the sooner they had it done, the sooner he could get home and start figuring out what was going on.

"You okay?" Dean asked. He'd been asking that question at least once a day, though Sam doubted he actually wanted to know, especially if it meant talking about his relationship.

"Fine." Sam grunted, pausing behind the gathered crowd, watching as two figures faced off, slightly mesmerised by the skill of the combatants. Dean seemed to be equally taken by the fight as the pair mirrored each other's movements, rebuffing attacks. The two fighters equally matched. The air filled with heavy breathing and grunts as they battled for victory, which neither could achieve. Sam could almost believe he was witnessing two skilled warriors rather than two faceless figures who were probably accountants or computer programmers.

Finally one of the fighters got the upper hand, removing their helmet. Sam inhaled a surprised gasp at the sight of Charlie, her red hair flying in the breeze, her face glowing with exhilaration and delight. She turned to her opponent with a smile, holding out her hand as the figure removed her own helmet. "You fight well." Charlie praised brightly.

"Thank you, your highness." The girl said respectfully, her blond hair tightly tied back.

"I…"

" _Claire_!" Sam practically yelled.

Both girls turned to face the brothers, the pair's eyes wide and their faces paling.

"Oh blurk." Charlie murmured.

Sam marched through the crowd, heading directly for the blond as Charlie quickly excused herself and rushed into the tent. "What are you doing here?" Sam demanded angrily, staring down at the teenager.

Dean took the foam covered sword from Claire's hand, swinging it experimentally. "Nice balance."

"Dean!" Sam snapped, glaring at his brother as he played with the sword.

"Huh?"

Sam nodded towards the tent meaningfully.

"Right." Dean nodded, marching away to speak to Charlie.

Sam turned back to his teenage ward. "Well? I'm waiting."

Claire sighed. "Gabriel told me about the case, I looked into it and figured I'd come help."

Sam wasn't impressed. "Why? What makes you think you can help?"

"Because I know more about this place than you do." Claire countered. "A friend of Isaac's at school is into all this stuff."

Sam scanned the crowd.

"He's not with me, I came alone." She sighed dramatically, rolling her eyes. "Besides I figured you'd never let me join a hunt if I asked, and it's always easier to apologize than ask permission."

"I can guess where you learnt that." Sam groaned, warily.

"And Dad's been like a bear with a sore head all week, I just needed to get away."

Sam swallowed thickly at the girls words, so he wasn't the only one suffering, horribly that made him feel better. Grabbing Claire's sleeve he quickly dragged her into the tent, just as Charlie hovered in the exit, her attention on Dean behind her.

"….Ed and Lance, there not missing, they're dead."

Charlie looked to Sam for confirmation and he nodded. "Holy Gandalf." She gasped, staggering back into the tent. "Are you sure?"

Dean nodded and Charlie stumbled to the round table, dropping heavily onto a chair. "It…how?"

"Drawn and quartered, bleeding out." Claire informed helpfully, ignoring the scolding look Sam shot her.

Charlie lifted her green gaze to the girl. "And you? You're with these two?"

Claire shrugged. "You could say that." She smiled.

Charlie shook her head, trying to dispel a headache that was slowly increasing. "So what do you think did it?"

Sam moved over to the table, reaching into his pocket for a photo as Dean spoke. "Well beside from this mark and them both being LARPers, there's really not much for us to go on."

"Wait, I've seen this, it's a Celtic magic symbol. Well it was in my favourite video game. Can I go now?" she began to rise only for Dean to push her back into her seat.

"It's a start but no."

"Listen, what can you tell us about Ed and Lance." Sam asked gently, taking a seat opposite Dean at the table.

"Good guys. Two of the best members in the Queen's ever shrinking army."

Dean frowned. "Ever shrinking?"

"My team has had a lot of bad luck lately. Probably because of me but…." She reached for the photo once more. "…maybe it's tied to this. – A month ago, one of my guys had both his ankles broken before battle, before that I had three people have hospital worthy accidents at home. Ya think there's any connection there?"

Sam shot Dean a brief look before returning his focus to Charlie. "Do they have any enemies in common?"

"In real life no, everyone gets along famously. In the game though, they have tons of enemies." Charlie got to her feet and led them over to the large map spread out on another table. "Red are the followers of the Moon, my peeps. Green for elves, blue for warriors of yester-year and black's for Shadow Orcs, total D'bags. This weekend's the battle of the Kingdoms, to see who'll wear the forever crown. This weekend each faction is definitely an enemy of me and mine."

"You know if you move your archers back and brought your swords men to the west you could…" Dean interrupted.

"Flank the warriors, good call." Charlie grinned.

Claire snorted a laugh, causing both Sam and Dean to glare at her. "Sorry." She held up her hands. "So someone from one of the Kingdom's got hold of real magic and has been using it to weaken your army?"

Charlie looked over at the teenager. "But why not just come after me? And why the escalation?" she asked looking between the three guests.

"Alright, we will canvas the _Kingdoms_." Dean interrupted. "You should get out of here, wouldn't want you to get hurt."

"No wait." Sam stopped her with a wave of his hand. "Charlie knows Moondor a lot better than we do, we need her."

"I think we can take care of a bunch of accountants with foam swords." Dean argued.

"I know stuff." Claire offered. "Stuart filled me in on everything." Sam glared frustratingly at her. "Sorry." She whispered, pressing her lips together guiltily.

"We need all the help we can get Dean, people are dying." Sam continued to argue.

"The point, which is usually _yours_ , is that she should get somewhere safe and get back to a normal life." Dean snapped defensively.

"I am right here and I want to leave." Charlie butted in loudly.

"Thank you." Dean huffed triumphantly.

"But the Queen, she has to stay. Look Sam is right, people are dying and I can't have that on my watch. And you know what? I'm tired of running, I like my life here, I want to stay and fight for it." Charlie insisted looking between the boys.

Sam's phone began to ring in his pocket and his heart leapt into his throat, his eyes instantly finding Claire's as he yanked it free. He didn't recognised the number but that didn't mean anything. "Hello?" the voice on the other end was female and unfamiliar, certainly not the one he'd wanted to be hearing. His heart plummeted with disappointment. He listened as the woman spoke, hanging up only moments later having barely said a word, then turned back to Charlie and Dean. "So the toxicology report came back on Lance, nothing, but the medical examiner said his body showed clear signs that he was killed by belladonna."

"The porn star?" Dean and Charlie asked in unison.

Sam looked between them uncomfortably. "The poison."

"Oh." The pair nodded, not an ounce of shame or embarrassment on their faces.

"However they couldn't' find a trace of it in his system."

"Just like they couldn't find ropes in Ed's apartment." Dean added wearily.

"Charlie I'm gonna need to borrow your laptop." Sam pressed, ignoring his brother.

"There's no technology in Moondor." Charlie informed him matter-of-factly.

"There's a tech tent four tents down." Claire offered.

Sam sighed. "Okay. How 'bout you guys canvas and we'll…" he waved between him and Claire. "…will go check up on the accidence and the mark." He walked towards Claire, his eyes narrowing. "As soon as I call Gabriel and tell him you're here. You are so grounded when we get home." He growled, manhandling the teenager out of the tent.


	9. Chapter 9

" _Sam?"_

"Do you know where Claire is?" Sam demanded as they stood outside the tech tent.

" _Camping. I figured it'll be fine considering you weren't gonna be home."_ Gabriel replied harshly.

Sam rubbed at his face, inhaling slowly, clearly Gabriel was still pissed about that. "She's not camping." He murmured. "She's here. I'm looking at her right now."

" _What!"_ Gabriel yelled so loud down the line Sam had to pull the cell from his ear with a wince. _"Put her on, now!"_

Claire shook her head pleadingly as Sam thrust the phone at her before turning and leaving her to Gabriel's wrath. He glanced back at her as he slipped into the tent to see her, rolling her eyes and grimacing, a guilty look in her blue gaze.

The tent was filled with computers, people in costumes here and there. Glancing at the screens it was clear they were all playing the same game, he dropped down next to an attractive blonde. Sam stared at the screen for a moment before turning to the woman. "Excuse me, uh, do you know if there's a directory of online gamers?"

The woman smiled warmly. "Yeah, it's on the website. All you need is an account to access it."

"Uh thanks….Uh?"

"Maria. – I mean Gholandria the Wicked." She flirted.

Sam flushed, turning back to the computer. He tried to ignore the woman beside him as he created an account and began to scan through the players, easily finding the gamers Charlie had told them about. His gaze flicked to the tent flap as he wondered if Claire was still talking to Gabriel. He couldn't wait to be through with this case and get home to try and fix things.

Maybe Dean was right, he thought suddenly, he was distracted by his personal life. Wasn't that what Dean said would happen? Clenching his teeth, Sam focused back on the case at hand, determined to prove Dean wrong. He could have both. He _could_.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

"So he found some normalcy with this guy and you're giving him shit because…?" Charlie challenged, watching Dean in the mirror.

" _Because_ you can't have distraction, not in this life. He can't have _that_ and this. It'll get him killed."

"So it has nothing to do with him playing house with another _guy_?" Charlie pressed, leaning back in her chair judgmentally.

Dean turned sharply away from the mirror, flustered. He swallowed thickly. "What? _No_. – I mean….you don't know Gabriel okay, he's a dick." Charlie snorted a laugh at Dean's poor choice of insult and Dean rolled his eyes. "He's a jerk." He corrected. "He spent years screwing with us… - I just can't see why Sam would….with _him_." He cringed visibly.

"Have you asked him?" Charlie quizzed.

Dean frowned with disgust. "I don't want to hear about it." He turned back to the mirror to fuss with his costume. "I just don't want him to get hurt….again." he sighed.

"Who says he will?"

"He will." Dean insisted. "They can't help themselves. You can't afford to get attached." He stared at his reflection thoughtfully. "You just gotta let go."

"Are we still talking about Sam or you?" Charlie frowned.

"Me?"

"Yeah."

"No." Dean dismissed.

Charlie stared at him for a long moment before getting to her feet. "Well, if you want my advice, unless you want to lose Sam forever, I suggest you deal with the fact your brother's bisexual, get a rainbow bumper sticker and file for your PFlag membership." She laughed, strolling out of the tent casually.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

Sam frowned at the screen, his attention focused on the reports. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Gholandria looking over at his computer. "Uh…it's all just, uh, part of the game." He quickly reassured.

"Genre mash-up, cool. – Hey, I know her, that's Phillis, I heard she broke her ankles or something."

Sam pulled up the incident photos and cringed. "Wow, looks like she got…."

"Hobbled." Gholandria gasped. "Oh, and that's Jamie. He said someone broke in and beat him with his own mace, but…."

"No sign of forced entry." Sam concluded, pulling up the picture on the mark of Lance's arm. "Do you recognise this from moondor, it's…uh…Celtic?"

"No." Gholandria shook her head regretfully. "But I can look it up."

"How's it going?"

Sam startled as Claire dropped down next to him, her eyes scanning the screen.

"Where have you been?" Sam demanded, his fingers moving over the keyboard.

"Talking to dad, thanks to you." Claire huffed, slouching back into the chair, arms folded.

"What's he say?" Sam asked awkwardly.

Claire sighed. "Same as you, I'm grounded."

Sam nodded in agreement.

"So I just heard two more of the queen's warriors have been injured."

Sam turned to look at the teenager. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." Claire replied grinning. The hard look Sam shot her had her sobering quickly. "Nothing life threatening. A broken arm and a serious concussion. – Don't know if it's connected to this or if it's just…you know, over zealousness. What have you found?"

"Mace attack, hobbling, medieval poisoning, somebody's targeting the Queens people, for sure."

"No, not only them." Gholandria interrupted. "Those four are with the queen, and these two are elves and these two are warriors. The only group not to get hit…"

"The shadow orcs." Claire interrupted sharply, her eyes burning into the other blonde.

Gholandria met her gaze for a moment then turned her attention back to Sam. "I found your mark." She smiled brightly, leaning back to show Sam her screen.

"The Tree of Pain. If you are tagged with this mark you will be a victim of fairy magic."

"Fairy magic can be bad?" Gholandria asked surprised.

"All magic can be bad." Claire replied sharply, continuing to glare at the stranger. "Depends on whose using it."

Sam cleared his throat. "Alright, well thank you very much Gholandria." He smiled, shaking her hand.

"Anytime. I've never done genre mash-up before, it was fun."

Claire grunted, stomping past Sam and Gholandria, knocking the woman's chair purposefully.

Sam sent Gholandria an apologetic look as he got up from his seat and followed the teenager. "First time for everything right?"

"First time for a lot of things if you wanna come by my tent later."

Sam swallowed, looked between Gholandria and Claire. "Uh….uh another time." He turned pushing Claire out of the tent.

"Another time?" Claire snapped angry and accusing.

"I was just…caught off guard." Sam argued defensively.

Claire stopped dead to glare up at him. "Have you and Gabriel broken up?" her voice shaking nervously around the words.

"What?" Sam frowned, surprised by the sudden question. "No. What makes you think that?"

"You didn't come home for thanksgiving." She pointed out like it should be obvious.

"I'm working." Sam quickly protested.

"One day. You couldn't have come home for _one_ _day_?"

Sam's gut clenched at the hurt in her tone. He hadn't considered that, not even for a moment. "I uh…."

"And now Dad's being…it's just like…the first time you left, he's snapping at everyone or moping around. – Or going out with Rita and getting drunk."

Sam's jaw tightened as a spark of jealousy lit up his chest, was he just getting drunk or was he doing other things too? "We _haven't_ broken up." He stated firmly. "I just…screwed up again." He sighed warily. "I'll fix it, I promise. As soon as this is done, I'll make it right."

Claire looked up at him with sad eyes before taking a breath and nodding. "Good, 'cause I've already lost two parents, I don't want to lose you guys as well."

Sam reached out for her, pulling her into a hug, his lips pressed to the top of her head. "You won't." he whispered, even though he knew he couldn't keep that promise. They both knew.

After a moment Claire stepped back, wiping her eyes. "So." She cleared her throat. "What now?"

"Now we find Dean and Charlie, then the Shadow Orcs." he turned hurriedly to head back to the Queen's tent.

"Are you and Dean….okay?" Claire asked after a few minutes of silence.

Sam looked down at her and shrugged. "I don't know."

"He doesn't like Gabriel does he?"

Sam shook his head almost apologetically.

"I guess I can understand why, I mean with everything he did but…he did save you guys, surely that has to count for something?"

"I...I'm not sure it's just the Gabriel thing." Sam mused. "I think Dean's having a problem because it's….because Gabe's a guy."

Claire frowned up at him. "Hmmm." She nodded thoughtfully. "I guess that makes sense, considering."

"Considering what?"

"You know, the him and Cas thing."

"They're not…"

Claire scoffed. "Right. – You're forgetting who you're talking to, I was Cas's vessel remember, I know what's going on in that guy's head and by extension, Dean's."

Sam paused, tugging on her sleeve. "Meaning?"

Claire looked up at him like he'd grown a second head. "He's freaking out, whole giant gay crisis, has been since he returned from Hell with Cas. Don't tell me you didn't know."

"Know?"

Claire laughed, shaking her head. "Come on, Sam, seriously?"

Sam stared at her for a long moment before shaking his head. "I don't want to talk about this." He brushed off.

"You guys are such freaks." She laughed, marching away, Sam quickly rushing after her.

They'd only walked a few feet when they caught sight of Dean and Charlie. "Hey!" Sam yelled, quickening his pace.

"Nice costume." Claire teased.

Dean met her soft blue gaze with a warm smile. "You love it." He grinned and Claire laughed, rolling her eyes.

"So anyway…" Sam continued. "While you were playing dress up, we found out that the mark…."

"Belongs to the Shadow Orcs." Dean grinned proudly, cutting his brother off.

"Yeah, and they're using fairy magic." Sam informed him, holding the print out towards his brother.

"The Tree of Pain, awesome." Dean huffed, shaking his head.

"Whoever gets marked, gets ganked." Claire put in calmingly, her focus drifting around them.

Dean looked at her with a small smirk. "Alright, so how do we stop them?"

"Find who cast the spell and take em out. No more whammy. No more mark, no more marks, no more dead bodies." Claire stated matter-of-factly.

"Alright perfect, our pal Bolter the Chatty is getting the Shadow Orc prisoner, we're going to do a prisoner exchange, draw the King out of hiding. It was my idea." He added looking smugly at Claire.

"Right." She scoffed, shaking her head. "So where's the Queen?"

Dean shot Sam a meaningful look but the smart ass comment was cut off by a sudden wave of concern. "I sent her to you." He frowned, looking between them.

Claire and Sam shook their heads. Grunting with frustration Dean marched off to Charlie's tent. "Charlie!" he yelled poking his head through the flap. "Your highness? Charlie!" but there was no sign of her. Turning Dean looked between Sam and Claire once again. "You know what she's got my phone, try it."

Instantly Sam called, the cell pressed to his ear as it rang. And rang. – And rang. He shook his head.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean growled furiously.

"I have the prisoner." Bolter announced, appearing out of nowhere.

"Great, let's go." Dean demanded, walking away.

"You stay here. "Sam ordered, pointing at Claire.

"No, I want to…"

"Stay!" he snapped firmly, his voice and gaze allowing for no argument, with a nod he rushed to join Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't sure about having Claire run off and join the case to begin with, I actually considered cutting it all together, but now I think it came out really well. I also had to put in the conversation between Charlie and Dean to show why Dean was so reluctantly about Sam and Gabriel. I'm still not sure who Dean was actually talking about during that seen. (In the show, I mean) I'd like to think it was about Cas, but it was more likely Benny. Which kinda sucks yet is a little good because clearly Dean isn't 100% straight. His relationship with Benny is almost as obvious as his relationship with Cas. Maybe more so considering even my brother (the anti-slash-ship king) thinks something was going on between Benny and Dean.
> 
> Anyway, feedback would be most welcome and appreciated. 
> 
> See you next month.


	10. Chapter 10

Sam winced as he rubbed at the bruise on his neck from where the suit of armour had grabbed him, his eyes glancing over to where Dean stood with Charlie.

"You okay?" Claire asked, concern thick in her tone.

"I'm fine." "He snapped, pissed at her for disobeying him. Of course if she hadn't he may not have been able to hold off that impossibly strong armour, he was just glad it was over.

"Aren't you glad I came now?" Claire grinned, either oblivious of Sam's anger or just plainly choosing to ignore it.

Sam looked at the girl, brow raised, unimpressed. "You're still grounded. I suggest you tell Isaac you won't be seeing him till graduation." Sam watched her face fall with a wicked thrill.

"Seriously? Oh come on." She groaned petulantly. "You know this is your fault right?"

Sam raised an intrigued brow, folding his arms over his chest as he waited for her to explain that theory.

"I mean if you'd taken me hunting once in a while I wouldn't have to sneak off on my own."

Sam narrowed his eyes at her. "Excuse me?"

"Claire pressed her lips tight together. "Huh, what?" she looked at him innocently.

"How long have you been…. _sneaking_ off?" suddenly alarmed.

Claire stared at her feet, shrugging. "A couple of times."

Sam looked over her head to Dean and Charlie who were now watching the exchange, taking a deep breath he caught Claire's eyes again. "You've been hunting?" he demanded, needing clarification.

The teenager bleached, turning to glance pleadingly over at Dean.

"Claire!"

"Not really." She sighed. "I joined a paranormal group. We head out once a month and investigate supposedly haunted buildings. If I find a real one I call Garth so he can send someone to deal with it."

" _Garth_!" Sam yelled furiously.

"It's no big deal. I don't do the salt and burn myself, I'm more like a scout." Claire defended.

Sam clenched his jaw. "I'm going to kill him. – So while Gabe thought you were off camping with friends, you were really hunting?" he said through gritted teeth. "Do you know how reckless that is? Anything could have happened to you!"

"I just said I _wasn't_ hunting, I was scouting."

Sam threw up his hands, his head shaking. He turned to Dean. "Can you believe this?"

Dean shrugged. "Garth knew she was out there."

"That's supposed to make it better?"

"What's the big deal, she can clearly handle herself." Charlie interrupted.

Sam shot the redhead a frustrated look. "Not helping Charlie. – You, Me and Gabriel are going to be having a serious talk when we get home." He growled, turning back to Claire.

Claire sighed dramatically, her shoulders slouching.

"But you're not going till after the battle, right?" Charlie quickly asked. "I mean, I've already lost half of my army, you can't take my best fighter."

Sam looked at her like she'd grown a second head. "Did you miss the part about her being grounded?"

"Hey, it's the least you can do after blocking me from banging a fairy." Charlie argued.

"She has a point." Both Dean and Claire agreed.

"Look the battles not until noon tomorrow, why don't you guys head back to your motel, sleep on it and you know…come back tomorrow." Charlie grinned confidently, walking out of the tent like the queen she was.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

Sam sat on the chair by the window watching Claire sleep. He refused to let her out of his sight, so had forced Dean to grab another room for the night. He still couldn't believe she'd been hunting all this time. _Scouting_ , his mind corrected, like that somehow made it any better. He'd already spent an hour yelling at Garth for not telling him. Of course Garth in his usually Garth way had pointed out that informing Sam would have only meant Claire would stop telling him, and it was better if someone knew, right? – Dean had unhelpfully grumbled that was what he'd said. – Sam knew they were right, he just didn't want to admit it. He'd been so determined to keep Claire out of the life, in respect for her parents. – And maybe out of fear.

A tap on the window startled Sam. Twisting his head he saw Dean waving for him, looking back at Claire for a moment he reluctantly left the room. "What?"

"How is she?" Dean asked, holding out a bottle of beer to him.

"Fine." Sam sighed warily. "Sleeping." He took the bottle and moved to join Dean on the hood of the Impala.

They sat drinking there beers in relative silence, the only sound coming from the road a few feet away.

"So…" Dean cleared his throat. "What's next?"

Sam glanced at his brother out of the corner of his eye. "She's not fighting tomorrow."

Dean sighed. "Spoil sport."

"She could have gotten herself killed Dean!"

"Yeah, and she knows that. - And she knows your pissed." He sighed.

"If it had been Ben?" Sam asked quietly, staring down at his bottle, regretting the question the second it left his lips. He'd made a promise never to mention the boy or his mother again, and he'd already broken that promise once.

Dean stiffened next to him before relaxing. "I'd probably be doing the same." He conceded. "So you guys are heading back to your small town lives?"

Sam inhaled deeply, his fingers flexing against the cool glass. "I'm taking her home. Talk to…. Gabriel, hopefully try to fix things."

"Fix things?" Dean frowned. "What's broken?"

Sam looked at his brother. "Do you really want to know?" He asked quietly, disbelieving.

Dean looked thoughtfully at his boots, inhaling steadily. "Really? No, I don't want to know. - But...you're my brother, and if you need to talk, I'll listen."

Sam sighed warily. "It's fine." He chugged his beer, turning away from his brother's judging gaze.

Dean stared at him for a long minute. "I...I guess I'm jealous, okay?" He confessed softly.

Sam's head snapped around. "Jealous? Of me and Gabriel?"

Dean winced at the implication. "Of how easy it seems to be for you." He murmured. "I can't..." He trailed off for a moment. Sam didn't push, he knew what would happen if he did. "I could never do that, find the balance. - Maybe you were right, about Lisa. I just didn't want to hear it."

"I still shouldn't have brought her up. I'm sorry."

Dean shook his head glibly. "It's fine. – I just…." He sighed sadly. "I always thought that by now I'd have that, you know? The wife and kids."

"You did?" Sam frowned surprised at the confession.

Dean shrugged dismissively. "I really love this life, I do, but….I didn't want to end up like Dad, or Bobby. A lonely alcoholic. – I thought Lisa was my chance. – Hell maybe even Jo." He shook his head with a sad regretful smile. "But it never worked. Lisa never really accepted this, no matter what she said, and I know that. And Jo, well….we just never seemed to be on the same page at the same time."

Sam exhaled slowly, lifting his bottle to his lips, that mournful feeling haunting him at the mention of their fallen friends. "Maybe your just not looking in the right places." He said quietly.

Dean's head snapped around to stare at his brother, brows pinched tightly with a look of innocent confusion. "Meaning?"

Sam watched his brother, beneath that false sense of oblivious-ness he caught the gleam of panic and fear. Shaking his head, Sam turned back to stare at the motel, now wasn't the time for that conversation. "Nothing. Just saying that it's not a lost cause, Dean. – You think I planned on falling for Gabriel?" he caught his breath at the choice of words, but just as quickly forced the thought away. "It just happened. He was there when I needed him, I was there when he needed me, and we kinda just…found each other."

Dean glared at him with a sickened look printed across his face. "Can we keep the chick-flick out of this conversation? Please. I might just barf."

Sam laughed humourlessly. "I'm just saying Dean, don't give up. What you're looking for might be right under your very nose."

"That's it, I'm done." Dean grunted, leaping off the Impala's hood.

Sam laughed as Dean marched determinedly to his room.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

"That was so awesome." Claire announced for the billionth time since they'd left Farmington Hills.

Sam looked over his shoulder at the girl. "Make the most of it, because you're going to be seeing nothing but four walls and text books for the next six months."

Claire rolled her eyes. "Yes, _Dad_. – I can't believe you gave us that speech, Dean." She laughed, leaning forward and poking the older man in the shoulder.

"It worked, didn't it? We won." The pair chuckled merrily.

"You've still got face paint on your neck. "Sam pointed out to his brother. Dean rubbed at the sport behind his ear, grinning ridiculously, causing Sam to shark his head.

"You sure Annabella's gonna have it all ready?" Claire asked an hour later as they rolled into their small town.

"She didn't sound particularly happy to hear from me, but she agreed." Sam said flatly.

"Have what ready?" Dean asked curiously, his gaze scanning the small town as they cruised along Main Street.

Sam looked over at him. "I begged a favour from a neighbour, asked her if she wouldn't mind cooking us up a thanksgiving dinner, to make up for missing it."

Dean frowned over at his brother. "Thanksgiving? Since when do you care about…?"

"Since apparently it's a thing families do." Sam replied, smiling over at Claire who beamed back at him.

Dean's fingers tightened around the steering wheel. "Right." He murmured, the tension back between them.

"You're staying right?" Claire asked, leaning forward, her folded arms perched on the front seat.

"I…."

"Of course he's staying." Sam said quickly, his gaze locked with Dean's, challenging him to refuse.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea, Sammy." Dean grumbled quietly.

Sam sighed warily. "It's a couple of hours Dean, you seriously can't put your hatred of him aside for a _couple of hours_?"

Dean looked between Sam and Claire, her blue eyes pleading. "A couple of hours." He surrendered through gritted teeth. "And there better be pie."

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

Gabriel inhaled deeply when he saw the Impala parked in front of the house, no doubt Sam was simply dropping off Claire and grabbing what remained of his things. Running for the hills, yet again. Though Gabriel couldn't really blame him, if it was a choice between him and Dean, well there wasn't really a choice. Sam would pick his brother every time, no matter what the guy said or did. They were family after all.

He envied that if he were honest. Sure he'd been close to Michael and Lucifer, and he'd loved them, it was why he'd refused to take a side. The thing was neither of his beloved brother's loved _him_ , not really. Not like the Winchester's loved one another. Angel's just didn't understand that depth of feeling. They loved humans and each other because they were told to, not because it was a natural instinct. - So he'd always expected Sam to leave, to head off with Dean.

Pausing outside the door, Gabriel straightened his spine and filled his lungs, he wasn't going to humiliate himself by looking hurt, not again. He was tired of fighting to keep Sam when the guy obviously didn't want to be there.

He pushed open the door and froze at the sight before him. Dean and Sam sat on the couch, Dean's feet on his coffee table, the pair casually swigging beer while watching a game. Sam turned to look at him when he heard the door fall shut.

"Great, you're home." Sam grinned, getting to his feet. "Claire!" he yelled up the stairs as he reached Gabriel, leaning down to press a brief kiss to the older man's shocked lips.

Gabriel blinked back his confusion, his eyes flickering from Sam's smiling face over to where Dean was scowling at the beer in his hand. "Get your feet off my coffee table." He ordered.

Dean finally looked at him, glaring, challenging.

"Off." Gabriel repeated firmly.

Sam looked over his shoulder, eyes narrowing. "Why don't you go wash up, Dean?"

Gabriel stood staring after the older Winchester, mouth gaping, watching him do as Sam said and heading up to the bathroom. "What's going on?"

"Thanksgiving." Sam stated matter-of-factly as he slid his arm around the ex-angels waist and pulled in up close, his mouth returning to Gabriel's with a vengeance.

"Aw, gross." Claire chuckled, interrupting the moment. "Get a room."

Sam laughed as he released Gabriel and turned to head for the kitchen, a smile stretched happily over his face. Breathlessly Gabriel watched him go, eyes wide with confusion and surprise.

"Dad?" Claire frowned, snapping her fingers in front of the man's face. "You in there?"

Gabriel shook his head, turning his amber gaze to Claire. "You and me are going to have a…."

"I know." Claire sighed, rolling her eyes. "Tomorrow, okay? Sam's already given me the lecture."

"That doesn't mean you're not getting one from me." He said, as Claire headed for the couch where she collapsed down next to the dent created by Dean's body with a sigh, her feet tucked beneath her.

Gabriel stared at her, jumping slightly at the sound of heavy booted footsteps. He turned to watch Dean take the last few steps and then stroll casually over to the couch and take the seat next to Claire, the pair smiling and talking easily. The whole situation gave off a surreal sense of confusion. Unsure what to say or do, Gabriel turned and headed upstairs to wash up.

He expected to walk into his room and find Sam's things already gone. Stuffed in his duffle ready to leave with him, but nothing had been moved. In fact everything he'd taken with him a week ago was now back in their places. His shaving bag sitting on the bathroom cabinet. Gabriel took a sharp breath, his heart beating quickly, hardly believing how wrong he'd been.

"Gabe, dinner's on the table!" Sam yelled up from the bottom of the stairs.

Gabriel startled, looking over his shoulder as if he expected to see Sam standing there, or worse yet, see nothing but dirt and trees. Shaking off the encroaching thought of purgatory, Gabriel washed his hands and headed down, following the sound of voices to the kitchen.

What he found was a table covered with a large dinner and surrounded by familiar faces, not all of them particularly welcome. "What's all this?"

Sam smiled up at him from his seat. "Thanksgiving dinner." He held out the carving knife to the ex-archangel.

Gabriel swallowed thickly, his throat closing round the lump. Taking the knife he stepped up to the turkey. "How….?" He cleared his throat. "How'd you get all this done?"

"With a little help." Sam informed him, already passing the greens to Dean. "I called Annabella, begged her a favour."

Gabriel paused. "Annabella? She helped you?"

"Why wouldn't she?" Dean asked, piling mash potatoes onto his plate, looking at his brother intrigued.

"Annabella doesn't like me, she thinks I…." Sam trailed off, deciding too late that it was probably not a good idea to bring up the woman's opinion of him at the dinner table.

"What?" Dean frowned. "Why?"

"Nothing." Sam shook his head, but the look Dean sent him told him he wasn't going to drop it, and wouldn't eat a thing until he got an answer. Sam sighed, looking up apologetically to Gabriel. "She thinks…."

"He's a player." Gabriel said, cutting Sam off. "He did vanished for a year without a word."

Dean didn't look convinced as he stared between them, but his stomach rumbled at the scent of the food and so he left it. – For now.


	11. Chapter 11

For the next hour Claire, Sam and Dean filled Gabriel in on their adventure, Claire giving a colourful recount of Dean's Braveheart speech and then his bravery in battle.

"Wished I'd been there to see it." Gabriel laughed, turning to look warmly at Sam. "Don't suppose you got a photo?"

"Actually there should be some on the website." Claire put in with a large smile, pushing her empty plate away.

"I'll be sure to look later." Gabriel replied, his gaze locked with hers. "Because you're band from the internet."

Claire gaped at him. "Seriously? What about school work?"

Gabriel leant forward on his elbows, his fingers steepled together like Mr Burns. "If you need to go on time for school work, you'll do it down here where we can keep an eye on you. – And no phone either." He added, holding his hand out to her.

Claire stared at him for a long moment before sighing dramatically and handing the device ever. "Can I go to my room now?" she grumbled.

"Yes, and bring your laptop down."

Grumbling under her breath Claire got up and marched petulantly up to her room, reappearing a few minutes later to hand Gabriel her computer then vanished again, Riot moping along behind her. Gabriel rolled his eyes at Sam, then got up and began collecting the dishes.

"I'll do that." Sam insisted.

Gabriel shook his head. "It's fine. You guys go relax." Carrying the plates to the sink.

Dean was on his feet heading towards the lounge in a second, while Sam grabbed a few other plates and walked over to join Gabriel. Dean paused in the doorway and looked back at the pair, frowning.

"I told you to go sit." Gabriel ordered with a wide grin.

Sam ignored him, lowering the plate into the sink and then heading back to the table, collecting the remaining dishes while Gabriel began to wash. It was all very domestic and Dean's stomach clenched tightly. He'd had that once, only to throw it away. What stung most though was that while he missed being close to someone, missed the small ounce of normalcy, he didn't miss Lisa herself.

He dragged his palm down his face with a weary sigh and groaned. When it came away to reveal Sam pressed against Gabriel's back, his face buried in the man's neck and his hands all over him. His stomach churned making him feel sick. He ripped his gaze away and headed for the couch, dropping down with another moan, his head in his hands.

"Dean?" He looked up to see Sam standing staring at him. "You okay?"

"Fine." Dean grumbled, inhaling deeply and hurriedly getting to his feet. "I should get going."

"Uh? What? Why?"

Dean shrugged into his jacket. "I'll call when I find a case."

Sam stared at him, his face pinched into his trademark bitch-face. "Right." He grunted.

"See ya in a few days, Sammy." Dean murmured, marching to the door and yanking it open. He paused only a moment to look back at his baby brother, a tight smile on his lips.

"You could stay." Sam quickly announced, moving closer to the threshold, hope in his green eyes. "We've got a spare room."

Dean's breath caught in his throat and he sharply shook his head. "Maybe another time." He lied. "See ya, Sammy."

He took his time walking the few feet to the Impala, his feet dragging at the dirt, reluctantly to leave. He reached into his pocket for the keys, his mind drifting. The first name spring from the whirlwind of thought being Cas, but he hadn't heard from the angel. In weeks, no matter how many times he called him, Cas had seemingly been unwilling to make an appearance, that in mind Dean couldn't help but think of Benny. He'd listen, he'd understand, he'd help him forget for a few hours, just like he had in purgatory. – And Sam would never know.

He yanked open the door of the impala with a deep lung-filled breath.

"Dean."

His head snapped around to stare at Gabriel, watching him from the porch. "Gabriel." The ex-angel sighed, folding his arms and perching his shoulder of the beam. They silently stared at each other for a long tense moment. "Did you want something?" Dean demanded, resting his arms on the door frame and roof.

"I'm not going to apologise." Gabriel announced. "For anything."

Dean frowned. "I never expected you to."

"I did what I had to do. – I tried to stop it before it got started." Gabriel informed him casually. "And when that didn't work, I just wanted to get it over with, with as few causalities as possible."

Dean frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about." Gabriel sighed. "It wasn't personal, well okay it was, I guess, but it was like I picked on you boys for the fun of it."

Dean stiffed. "Good to know." He huffed. "Can I go now?"

Gabriel struggled. "If you really want to."

"Well I don't want to stay here and watch you fawn all over my brother."

Gabriel smirked. "It's healthier than sitting in a room and just staring at him like some kind of creepy stalker."

Dean swallowed at the meaningful look in the man's eyes. "You think what you guys are doing is healthy?" he spat defensively.

"Don't." Gabriel warned firmly. "Don't play the homophobic brother, Dean-o, because we both know its bullshit. – Sam's told me all about your buddy Benny."

"Meaning?"

"You forget I was in purgatory too, Dean. I know what that place does to a guy. – I get it, you needed help finding Cassie, you were alone, things happened."

" _Nothing_ happened." Dean growled.

Gabriel met his angry gaze challengingly. "Whatever Dean. I don't give a shit but don't you dare take your guilty conscious out on me and Sam, _especially_ not Sam. You found your comfort, he found his." Gabriel straightened, his jaw tight. "Difference is, I'm not his consolation prize."

"Aren't you?" Dean snapped as Gabriel turned to head back inside. "You're never gonna replace Jessica, no one will. At best your just another Ruby."

Gabriel shot him a murderous look that made Dean glad the guy wasn't an all-powerful archangel any more. "And no amount of pussy is going to change the fact that you want to bend my baby bro over that car and fuck him raw!" he spat viciously, storming into the house and slamming the door violently behind him.

Dean stared after him in shock, his heart hammering painfully and his stomach churning acid and bail. Climbing into the Impala, he slammed the car door, started the engine and peeled away from the house like the armies of hell were after him, again.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

"Are you alright?" Sam asked from the bed as Gabriel moved around the room, getting his things ready for work the next morning.

"Fine."

"You've been quiet all night. – Are you still pissed about missing thanksgiving?"

Gabriel looked over at him softly. "No, you made up for that. – I was being irrational about that anyway. Sorry."

"Maybe just a little." Sam smiled, tugging back the covers. "But I'm not done making it up yet."

Gabriel met the hunter's heavy lidded gaze for a moment then looked away.

"Alright, what did he say?" Sam demanded, sitting upright in the bed.

"Who?"

"You know who, don't play dumb, it doesn't suit you." Sam snapped, frustrated.

"Nothing. – He was just being Dean. Protective big brother. It's nothing."

"If it were nothing, you'd be over here in bed with me, calling I your debt instead of over there bluffing your boots."

Gabriel stared down at the polished leather, they were already shining like the top of the Chrysler building. Tossing the rag aside, he set the left boot on the floor with a sigh. "Really, it's just Dean throwing shit around I didn't wanting to hear. – It was my own fault, I poked the bear."

"Meaning?"

"Cas."

Sam groaned, slouching back against the pillow. "Well that wasn't smart."

"He pissed me off." Gabriel defended angrily.

"So you went for the juggler."

Gabriel shrugged. "Well you know what they say, the best way to a man's heart is through his chest with a carving knife." He huffed humourlessly.

Sam shook his head. "So what did he retaliate with?"

Gabriel pressed his lips together determinedly.

"Gabe?"

"He said I had bad hair." He lied, getting to his feet and hurrying to the bathroom in a desperate moment of cowardice.

He couldn't tell Sam what Dean said, he didn't want to see the truth of it in the man's eyes. Didn't want to hear Sam struggle to reassure him. If he even bothered to try. So he'd do what he always did, he'd run and hide from the painful truth, he was just a convenience.

"Whatever he said, it's bullshit. You know what, right?" Sam announced, interrupting his self-pity parade.

Gabriel startled, turning sharply to stare open mouthed as Sam leaning in the bathroom doorway. "Jeez, Winchester, don't do that." He snapped breathlessly, grabbing at his chest.

"Sorry." Sam smirked, stepping closer and reaching out to touch the shorter man, his hands settling on his hips, before lowering his mouth to Gabriel's.

The kiss was slow, leisurely. Gabriel could almost believe it was meaningful, that Sam was confessing to something he couldn't find the words for. You'll never replace Jessica. Dean's voice taunted, over and over. Angry and desperate to block out the sound, or maybe as a screw you to the older hunter, Gabriel tightened his fingers in Sam's lush hair, scrapping his nails over the scalp and deepened the kiss. Taking in from slow and comforting to frantic and possessive.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

It was two days before Dean made contact again. When Sam saw his brother's name flashing on his caller ID his stomach clenched up. He wasn't ready to head out again only a long hunt, and he had a feeling neither was Gabriel. Ever since he'd gotten back, the ex-angel had been acting…oddly. Distant yet possessive. The last two nights had seen Sam surrounding his body in a variety of way, some of which he hadn't even thought possible, another reason he wasn't ready to hunt, his body ached in places doctors probably didn't know existed.

Sam knew it had something to do with Dean. His brother had said something to Gabriel before he'd left, but he couldn't get the ex-angel to tell him just what it was. He probably would have called Dean himself in a day or two to demand answers if it carried on, even though he knew the second he did, he was waving goodbye to his R&R. – As it turned out, Dean beat him to it and Sam could see his relaxing time at home swiftly vanishing with each unanswered ring.

Taking a deep breath, Sam hit the answer button and lifted it reluctantly to his year. "Hey."

" _Hey. So thought you'd like to know Kevin's working hard."_

Sam frowned. "Has he found something?" they'd been waiting months for Kevin to decipher that damn demon tablet, it was getting tedious. But part of Sam wasn't really rushing to hear what it said because he knew he wasn't going to like it. After all closing the gates of hell wasn't going to be a walk in the park. There was going to be blood and pain, and he...mostly wasn't ready for that just yet. Especially now he had Gabriel and Claire.

" _Nope."_ Dean said, his tone sounding as tired as Sam felt.

"Oh, well thanks for telling me." Sam sighed. The line went quiet for a long moment, either of them rushing to hang up. "Dean?" Sam finally said, deciding to ask.

" _Yeah, Sammy?"_

Sam looked down at the garbage disposal he'd been trying to fix the last twenty minutes. The question lodged in his throat. "Uh…"

" _What are you doing?"_ Dean asked, clearly seeing Sam was struggling with something.

"Jammed garbage disposal. You?" Sam heard the tell-tell sound of a waitress and bottles, knowing just what his brother was doing he rolled his eyes and padded slowly over to the table, dragging out a chair and taking a seat.

" _Nothing much, just relaxing."_

Sam hummed. "Where?"

" _Duluth. Why, you need help with that disposal?"_ Dean laughed, shallowly.

"No." Sam grunted. "But you know, if you want to come by and have a beer, you don't need an excuse."

" _I don't want to interrupt your domestic bliss."_ Dean grunted.

Sam inhaled at his brother's tone, part disgust, part dismissal. "Dean." He growled, shaking his head and rubbed at his face. "We've been through this, I thought you were going to give me a break. Stop making this an either/or situation." Sam watching the clock on the wall tick by almost forty seconds before his brother spoke again.

"It's just hard to see you like that Sammy."

"What, happy?" he demanded harshly. "Or with a guy?"

"With _him_." Dean quickly clarified.

"Dean." Sam groaned. He'd tried to explain this too many times, he was tired of having to defend his relationship.

" _Look he'd just….his so…."_

"What?" Sam growled, wearily. Dean didn't finished whatever it was he was going to say, clearly reading Sam's tone. "Maybe if you spent time with him, got to really know him, maybe then you'd get off his case. – He might surprise you Dean. He certainly did me."

" _I don't want that kind of surprise."_

Sam knew a brick wall when he was hitting his head against it. Dean was never going to give Gabriel a chance, he was never going to accept their relationship, at least not without a hell of a fight. "What did you say to him?" he demanded, finally tiring of it all.

" _What?"_

"When you left the other night, you guys spoke, you said something Dean, what was it because Gabriel won't tell me but I know you, I know you said _something_?"

"I… I didn't say anything." Dean lied.

"I know when you're lying Dean, you said something, tell me!"

"What about what he said? Huh?" Dean growled back defensive and furious.

"He said he brought up you and Cas." Sam replied matter-of-factly. "And he knows he shouldn't have."

"I got to go." Dean said instead of answering his question. "Later Sammy."

Sam opened his mouth to stop him from hanging up but the line was dead before he could even form the words, leaving him to stare down at the picture of himself, Claire and Dean. Gritting his teeth Sam opened up a blank message and typed.

**This conversation isn't over Dean.**

It was another week and a half before he got a reply reading.

**Hunt. S & B. Kentucky. Pick you up in an hour.**


	12. Chapter 12

By Sunday the case was over, the ghost of Jennifer Williams and Andrew Summers were sent to wherever they were going, and they were back in the Impala on their way back to Solon Springs. Taking Claire, who apparently had insisted on joining them or following them, had been surprisingly helpful and eased the tension between the brothers. Sadly as they got closer to the house that tension quickly returned, sucking the air out of the car. Claire and Dean's upbeat conversation faded to silence and Sam could feel the anxiety rolling off him in waves.

When they finally pulled up and Claire practically leapt out, Sam wished he could do the same. He stared at the blacked out house. Clearly Gabriel was still at work. He checked his watch.

"She did good." Dean announced beside him.

Sam glanced from Dean to the house. "Yeah, I still don't like the thought of her hunting."

"Better with us than without, I guess." Dean murmured.

"Yeah. That's was Gabriel's argument too." he heard Dean inhale sharply and gritted his teeth. He pinched at the bridge of his nose and released a weary sigh. "Are you ever going to let it go?"

"Let what go?" Dean asked, his tone light and too innocent.

"Us. Me and Gabriel. I get it okay, you don't like him. You hate that I'm with him. I'm sorry I'm not your perfectly straight brother anymore. - I'm sorry I didn't find a nice girl to settle down with, but I'm not going to just change my life because you want me to. I'm done doing that." he snapped. "I'm not doing it again, Dean. I can find a balance, I've proven that. He isn't stopping me from hunting. Hell he practically forced me to keep going when you vanished. - We're not the problem here Dean, you are."

Sam stared at his brother, watching Dean's fingers tightened around the wheel, his jaw muscles ticking out a constant angry rhythm.

"I just don't get it Sam. It's like I came home to a stranger. I don't know you anymore."

"Or maybe you never knew me. - Cause I know I didn't know myself." Sam sighed.

Dean opened his mouth to argue only to snap it shut once again.

The pair fell silent once more. Sam stared at the house as the lights came on, with them a warmth spread through him.

"I never...wanted this for you."

Sam's head snapped around to glare at his brother, his green eyes narrowing.

"I never wanted this life. Hunting." Dean quickly clarified. "I wanted my brother back."

Sam sighed.

"I wanted you back in my life, even if it was for forty-eight hours. I never imagined it would have..." he trailed off regretfully.

"You could have dropped by anytime Dean."

"Could I?" Dean asked sceptically.

Sam sighed. He knew Dean had a point, he hadn't made an effort to stay in touch. In fact he'd practically erased both his father and Dean from his life. The only reason Jessica had even known about them was because it was impossible not to mention Dean when discussing how his mom died. He wasn't proud of it, not in anyway, but it had just been easier. - And maybe part of him had been angry at Dean for never taking his side, for always defending their father. For loving the life. He slumped in the seat with another tired sigh. "I'm sorry Dean."

"It's fine. It's forgotten."

"It's not though, is it?" Sam said, turning sharp knowing eyes on his brother. "You think I'm going to do it again. Have this normal life and kick you to the curb."

Dean frowned at him, opening his mother to argue, or maybe to call a halt to the conversation. After all it was getting a little close to the knuckle. Too deep and personal for his hard-ass, screw the world sensibilities but Sam talked right over him.

"That's not what's happening here Dean. Jeez, I'm here. I'm hunting. I'm trying to bring you with me Dean, but you're fighting me. You're pushing _me_ away. - And why? Because you don't like the fact that I'm with a guy?"

The tick returned to Dean's jaw. "It's...I'm not..." he cleared his throat, shifting awkwardly against the leather. "I haven't got anything against...you know, I just never expected... - It's a lot to get my head around okay. I need time."

"How much time Dean?"

"I don't know, okay!"

Sam exhaled a slow breath and looked intensely at his brother, searching for something but unsure what. Dean stared at his hands on the steering wheel, his knuckles white. "Is this about my relationship or yours?" Sam eventually asked. - And instantly regretted it as Dean's gaze snapped dangerously to lock with his.

"You should probably get in there, he probably has dinner on the table." Dean snipped furiously.

"He's not home yet." Sam murmured.

"Then Claire's in there on her own." Dean reminded him flatly, shifting forward in his seat and bracing his hands in preparation to leave.

"She's seventeen, she's fine." Sam replied, reluctantly to get out of the car that had been his home for almost seven years.

Dean shot Sam an almost pleading look, like he needed this to be over. Like it was too much for him. Sighing regretfully, Sam reached for the door, shoving it open before pausing. He looked back at Dean for a moment. "What did you say to him?" he demanded.

"What?" Dean ground out.

"Last time you dropped me off, you and Gabriel had a fight, what did you say to him?"

Dean met his eyes coldly. "Nothing that wasn't true. - What don't you ask him?"

"I have, he won't tell me."

Dean looked both surprised and grateful.

"Dean?"

"What does it matter?"

Sam stared at his brother, reading the stubbornness in the set of his jaw and the green of his eyes. Grinding his teeth in frustration, Sam grunted angrily, reaching into the backseat for his bag. Pausing once more to look at his brother. "I'm not leaving them Dean, so either deal with that or... Get used to hunting alone." with that he shoved the door shut with a loud metallic bang.

Sam threw his duffle over his shoulder and headed for the house. He heard the growl of the Impala's engine but chose not to look back. He stepped through the door and was instantly welcome home by an excited Riot. His big tongue hanging out as he stared up at Sam with warm dark eyes filled with unconditional love and support.

"Dean leaving?" Claire asked from the kitchen doorway, a bread roll in her hand.

Sam nodded, turning towards the stairs. There was no need to explain, Claire wasn't stupid. She knew what was going on, knew how Dean felt about Gabriel.

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

It was the hardest three weeks since Dean had returned from Purgatory. His brother hadn't made any contact since their latest fight. Not calling with a single case, despite there being a werewolf in Boston. Garth had informed him that Dean was still hunting, he was just choosing not to take Sam along, and that hurt. Maybe he'd pushed Dean too hard to except his new life, Gabriel specifically. Maybe he should have taken things slower. As it was he'd pushed Dean away in his attempt to pull him closer.

Knowing that left Sam frustrated and snappish, unsettled and restless, and with nothing to do but think. He knew that he was taking out that frustration on Gabriel and Claire, the ex-angel telling him flat-out to suck it up and get off their cases. "It's not our fault Dean's a jackass!" then he's taken Claire to a movie, leaving Sam fuming. So he'd taken is shotgun out to the back field and let off some steam before settling down in front of his laptop.

He spent the next few house surfing on-line, looking at college classes, considering maybe going back to school. Though considering his criminal record, it looked unlikely he'd get a second chance to Stanford.

He was checking out on-line schools when Claire and Gabriel finally returned, wrapped in their thick coats, hats and scarfs. Peppered with snow and carrying a take-out bag. Sam looked up and sent the pair an apologetic smile. Claire, as always, forgave him instantly, hanging up her jacket and joining him on the couch with the bag of they'd brought back.

It took Gabriel another couple of hours and an apologetic blowjob before he forgave him, but thankfully by dawn the next day they were back to normal, though Sam's irritation at Dean lingered.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

Sam had given up on Christmas years ago. He didn't buy into the cherry festive cliché. The last Christmas party Sam had attended had been the year before Jessica's death. She'd insisted that he returned home with her and meet her parents. It had been nice. Her parents had accepted him with open arms, but watching the happy family had only driven home how much his own family wasn't like that.

Sure they'd been happy-ish. Dean and his dad had been fine with the insanity, the constant danger. The lack of any kind of normal structure. They didn't have thanksgiving or Christmas like normal people, they rarely celebrated birthdays, because they all highlighted the fact that one member of their family wasn't there to share them.

And now, stood in the corner of Annabella's house, watching everyone around him laughing and drinking, having a good time, he felt that sadness again. The loss of not being able to share this with his own family.

HE still hadn't heard from Dean and he was beginning to realize his brother had made his choice. He didn't want to be around him as long as he was with Gabriel.

Sam's eyes scanned the room to finally settle on the ex-archangel. He was stood with a couple of guys he'd introduced as fellow deputies when they'd arrived. Smiling and joking. Sam felt warmth spread through his chest and his lips curved. He didn't have Dean any loner but he wasn't alone, he'd built a new family for himself with Gabriel and Claire. He had the normal life he'd always wanted.

"So you're still here?"

He turned sharply to stare down at the brunette, her brown eyes burning deeply into his. "Rita." he nodded welcomingly.

"Have to say I'm surprised. I would have had money on you splitting against by now."

"Sorry to disappoint." Sam replied coldly.

Rita smirked up at him, her red lips shimmering in the ceiling lights. "I can wait, you'll get itchy feet again."

Sam narrowed his gaze at the woman. "No, I won't!" he snapped.

Rita scoffed. "So you're really ready for this? To have an actual relationship."

"We've been together a long time, it was just a bump in the road." he growled quietly.

Rita shook her head. "I know the truth." she said calmly. "I know you guys weren't together when you came here."

Sam glowered down at her. "And how exactly do you know that?" he demanded, his instincts on high alert.

"Gabriel told me, obviously." she snorted, lifting a drink to her lips.

Sam's gaze flashed furiously to Gabriel across the room, he seemed to sense his glare because he looked over and frowned. "And what did he tell you?"

"That you took him in when he had nowhere to go."

Sam stared into Gabriel's increasingly worrying eyes. Now he wanted to tell the truth? Why couldn't he have done that two years ago? "Yeah."

"Then the stupid idiot fell in love with you..." Rita continued. "...and you just led him on so he'd take care of your kid while you lived your own life."

Sam's head snapped back to Rita, his vision blurring for a second or two. "Excuse me? That's not what happened!" he yelled, a little too loud. "I didn't lead him on." Sam insisted, quickly lowering his voice dangerously. "And he wasn't in love with me."

Rita shook her head, disgusted and angry. "Who are you trying to kid, I saw it. We _all_ saw it. - And if he wasn't in love with you, you think he'd have taken you back so easily? Please."

Sam inhaled sharply, his eyes going back to Gabriel, who was walking quickly through the crowd. He knew Rita was right, on both counts. Part of him had led Gabriel on, and maybe he'd known even then that the ex-archangel felt something for him. And maybe that's why he'd fought so hard against his own attraction.

"Even if you hadn't screwed Gabe over." Rita announced furiously. "The fact that you just skipped out on your kid, is reason enough to fucking hate you." she growled it, drawing Sam's attention once more. "Neither of them deserve an asshole like you."

Sam scared down at her and saw the pure loathing boiling away in her. Sam had learnt to read people over the years, learn to see past the surface and right now he was seeing that her anger wasn't solely aimed at him.

"Hey guys, what's...?" Gabriel interrupted, looking between them nervously.

"I need another drink." Rita announced, turning on her heels and marching away, a little unsteady on her legs.

"I think she's had enough." Sam murmured.

"Yeah. I'm going to..." Gabriel took a couple of step before pausing and looking back at Sam, who nodded.

_/*\/*\\_

"Everything okay?" Annabella asked, appearing out of the air in front of him.

"Have you seen Rita? She's...I think..." Gabriel asked worriedly.

"She's fine, Harvey has her." Annabella dismissed. "How are you?"

Gabriel exhaled a long relieved breath. "I'm fine."

"You don't look fine." Annabella said softly with a smile, following him back to the den.

Gabriel froze mid-step and stared into the large room, watching Sam talking to one of their neighbours and looking bored. "I'm worried about Sam."

"Oh?" Annabella replied, her tone making it clear that she still wasn't approving of their 'rekindled' relationship. "Why?"

"He's..." Gabriel shook his head, turning on his heels and heading back to the kitchen. He snatched up the bottle of Johnny Walker and poured himself a large glass. He could feel Annabella's eyes on him every second.

"Gabriel?" She whispered, stepping up to him and rested her hand on his shoulder.

"He's missing his family. His brother."

Annabella smiled sadly. "Understandable this time of year."

Gabriel shook his head. "He hasn't spoken to him in weeks and after..."

"What?" Annabella's brows creased. "I thought he was dead?"

Gabriel sighed. "Mistake. It turned out he was just missing in action." he turned finally to meet Annabella's gaze. His glass cradled between his palms. "Anyway, he came back, but he's...he's not happy about me and Sam. - We don't get on." Gabriel stared down into his glass. "I didn't some stuff that Dean can't forgive me for, and I get it, its well deserved." he insisted. "But now he's cutting Sam off because of me." Gabriel gulped down his drink and turned back to the bottle. "I never wanted to come between them."

Annabella moved closer, turning to lean on the counter at his elbow, her eyes sadly watching him.

"He..." Gabriel swallowed thickly. "He pretty much said it was just a phase. That I was a convenience." he inhaled sharply at the memory. - And I think he might be right." he choked out.

"Oh Gabriel."

"He said I'll never replace Jessica."

"Jessica?" Annabella frowned.

"Sam's ex." looking sadly down into his glass.

"I thought Claire's mom was called Amelia?"

"She was. Jessica died years ago, before Amelia. - She was his college girlfriend. She died in a fire, he saw the whole thing. - Dean said he'll never..." Gabriel shook his head, downing the alcohol. "It doesn't matter, the point is Sam's missing his brother and I don't know what to do. How to fix It." he groaned frustratingly. "They're so close, they're all each other has."

"They have Claire. - And you." Annabella reminded him harshly. "If this Dean jerk can't deal with that then maybe Sam's better off without him."

Gabriel shook his head. "If I thought that was true I wouldn't be so worried. - Or so guilty."

"You've got nothing to feel guilty about." Annabella snapped.

"It would be easier if he were, but he's an alright guy, he'd just... He's seen more than he should, even before the war. He's just a little messed up." he murmured, losing himself in his own regrets.

Annabella was quiet for a long moment before finally clearing her throat. "I wish I could tell you want to do Gabriel, I really do. Part of me things you guys should be glad to be rid of him, if he'd giving you a hard time. - The other part of me says you should try to make an effort. I know how hard some of our boys have had it since returning from the war."

Gabriel nodded sadly, if only she knew just what Dean and Sam had been through, maybe then she'd understand. - And perhaps give Sam a break.

"I guess ultimately it comes down to how much you love Sam, and how much _he_ loves Sam."

Gabriel took a deep slow breath, giving Annabella a grateful smile, he pushed away from the counter and headed for the backdoor. "I think I need a little air."

Outside he filled his lungs as he stared up at the night sky. His hands buried deep in his pockets, shivering as the cold winter wind battered his skin. He should have put his jacket on before coming out to the yard. As he shoved his hands deeper, his shoulders slumping forward to fight off the chill, his cell phone scraped the back of his fingers. Looking down at the bulge, he pulled it free and stared at it.

He was dialling Dean's number before he was fully aware of it. He didn't know if Dean would pick up, and didn't much care if he didn't. In fact it would probably before the best if he didn't.

As predicted the call rang out, Dean's voice mail picking up after five rings.

_"This is Dean, leave a message and I'll get back to you."_

Gabriel took a breath. "Dean, its Gabriel. Don't worry, Sam's fine. Well, as fine as he can be with you ignoring him." he pressed his lips hard together, dragging his free hand through his hair. "Look, I don't give a damn if you hate me, or if you hate that I'm with Sam. But _he_ does. - Look Dean, he's you're..." he groaned, frustrated with his own inability to find the right words. He never had trouble speaking his mind before. "Look, asshole, its Christmas, I know Sam wants to see you, so if you can get your self-righteous, stubborn head out of your ass for more than five seconds, dinner will be on the table at 1pm. Come or don't, that's your choice. I guess it depends on how much you love your brother." His heart was racing when he hung up, his body trembling from the cold. He jumped as a pair of large long arms encircled him. Blanketing him in much needed heat. The warmth of Sam's breath against his neck as the taller man leant over him.

"You didn't have to do that." Sam whispered, his lips brushing at Gabriel ear lightly.

Gabriel closed his eyes and leant into the warmth, shoving his phone back into his pocket. "Maybe." he sighed.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." Gabriel said quietly, turning his head to capture Sam's lips in a soft sweet kiss.

"He won't come." Sam stated matter-of-factly, tilting his head back to stare up at the night sky, his chin resting on Gabriel's head.

Gabriel exhaled slowly, following Sam's gaze. "Then he's a bigger dick than I thought. - But at least you can't say I didn't try."

"You don't have to try." Sam insisted firmly. "He's the one with the problem, he's the one making this an ultimatum."

Gabriel let himself relax into Sam's embrace almost allowing himself to believe Sam might actually care about him. - Maybe actually love him. Just enough to make this work.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seasons Greetings to you all. Hope you're having a wonderful holiday whatever you're celebrating. This hasn't been betaed, apologies. Hopefully there aren't too many mistakes.

It wasn't the sun that pulled Sam from his deep restful slumber on Christmas morning. It was the damp heat and pressure on his dick. His back arched off the bed and he groaned, eyelids fluttering open as he looked down at the large moving lump beneath the covers. He threw back the blankets to witness the incredible sight of Gabriel's lips stretched and glistening, his face flushed and glowing. Sam let out a deep throaty moan at the sight and thrust up into the heat. Instantly Gabriel's eyes met his and he smiled wide as he could with so much solid muscle between his lips.

Sam felt the ex-archangel relax his jaw a little more and in an instant Sam's fingers were curling into the man's thin hair as he began to thrust in earnest, fucking into Gabriel's throat.

Just when Sam thought he was going to come, the mouth was gone. Gabriel shifting back on his knees to crawl over Sam. His amber eyes intensely locked with Sam's as he positioned himself over the taller man.

Gabriel's fingers curled around Sam's overly sensitive dick, guiding it to him as he lowered himself down, tortuously slow. Sam gasped, his fingers biting into Gabriel's hips.

"You were...ready for this?" Sam panted with a wicked blissful smile.

"Merry Christmas, Kiddo." Gabriel replied huskily as he bottomed out.

Sam reached up, curling his hand around Gabriel's neck and pulled him down into a deep dirty kiss, tasting himself on the man's tongue.

Gabriel draw back and began to move, slow and steady, drawing out every electing sensation. His palms sprayed open against Sam's abdomen, giving himself leverage. Sam watched him enticed, holding possessively to the smaller man like he couldn't bare to let him go lifting his hips to meet each downward movement Gabriel delivered. Savouring the tight heat, wanting more, yet not.

Sam slid his palms up Gabriel's flanks in a gentle sweep, his fingers sliding over the man's ribs, around his back. Sam lifted himself to sit up on the bed, Gabriel still moving in his lap. His hands curling over the backs of the ex-angel's shoulders, drawing him into another kiss. This time slow and explorative, yet still filled with head and passion. Breaking apart only to refill their lungs.

Despite how close Sam had been when Gabriel had called a halt to his 'wake up call' Sam was holding on, fighting the orgasm as long as he could. He wanted this perfect moment to last.

The room was silent but for their quickly heady breaths and the erotic echo of flesh hitting flesh. Sam slid his hand from Gabriel's right shoulder and slipped it between them, his mouth pressed to the man's shoulder, biting and sucking a dark bruise of ownership. He listened as Gabriel gasped and moaning on the same exhale and sank his teeth deeper, stroking a little faster.

Gabriel's arms wrapped tightly around Sam's neck, his fingers tangling in the long strands of golden brown damp locks. The slow, long grind quickening as they saw the finish ling in sight.

"Ahhh...Sam." Gabriel panted as his body grew more and more ridged, his internal muscles clenching around Sam's cock. "Shit. I love you." he cried as he spilled between them, ecstasy consuming him.

Sam tightened his grip on the man, stroking him through his orgasm while holding him close, his own climax rocketing through him. He wasn't so far gone that he didn't hear Gabriel's confession, nor was he fool enough to think it wasn't the truth. But as he opened his mouth to return the sentiment, he found the words dissolving on his tongue. Fearful of them. So instead he mumbled something illegible and crushed his mouth to Gabriel's, hoping to communicate what he wasn't able - or ready to say.

Sam collapsed back against the mattress, Gabriel pulled down on top of him. The pair of them slowly regaining their equilibrium. Sam's fingers played idly across the other man's back. Hissing as Gabriel lifted himself free, only to settle back against him with a blissful sigh.

They lay in silence, pressed skin to skin Sam stared up at the ceiling as his mind spiralled. Wondering why he couldn't bring himself to say what he knew was true. Why it filled him with fear?

He tilled his head to look at Gabriel, finding the man staring blankly into his chest, his head resting over Sam's heart. Something about the look the man's face made Sam's heart clench painfully in his chest. So painfully he inhaled sharply.

At the sound Gabriel looked up at him. "You okay there, Sammy?"

Forcing back the lump, Sam smiled warmly. "Yeah. - Merry Christmas." he whispered, leaning forward and pressing a chaste kiss to the man's lips.

Gabriel smiled up at him, but there was a shadow Sam couldn't ignore in their amber depths. He tightened his arm around Gabriel, wishing he could say what the man obviously needed to hear.

"Do you..." Sam cleared his throat. "You think Claire's up yet?" he asked, desperate for a distraction.

Gabriel shrugged, closing his eyes and settling against the damp flesh of Sam's chest. "I haven't heard her and I've been awake over an hour."

"So we can enjoy some more of this quiet alone time?" he asked seductively.

"Maybe a little while." Gabriel grinned into his chest.

_What Doesn't Kill You_

Sam stood with his back to the counter mashing the potatoes while Gabriel checked the turkey. Claire was curled up on the couch with Riot and her new phone. An occasional laugh floating in from the living room.

"I think we should have taken Annabella up on her invite." Gabriel grumbled.

Sam smiled down at him. "And miss all this?" he snorted, putting the bowl of mash on the counter and heading over to the table, shaking out the off-white table cloth.

Gabriel straightened, wiping his hands on the 'Kiss The Cook' apron Sam had brought him as a novelty gift. "Actually it's the memory of last year that is my main reason for staying home."

Sam glanced over with regretful puppy eyes. "You spent Christmas with Annabella?"

"Yeah." Gabriel smiled. "Rita practically forced us out of the house. Insisted we couldn't spend Christmas alone."

Sam turned sharply from his lover, snapping the table cloth violently over the battered surface. His heart clenching at the mention of the woman. He could still remember their conversation. The previous night at the Christmas party.

A deep chuckle came from behind him and Sam turned to find Gabriel grinning gleefully at him. "Well, Well. Is that jealousy I see?"

Sam's heart tightened. It was. - And fear.

"I think I like it." Gabriel said huskily, his hands gliding over Sam's hips.

"You didn't like it too much last year." Sam pointed out, acknowledging for the first time he'd been jealous of Rita since the beginning.

Gabriel's smile faded. "It wasn't the jealousy that pissed me off, it was your stubborn refusal to acknowledge you wanted me as much as I wanted you." he clarified in a low voice. "It was you going off to fuck some stranger rather than Me." his throat tightened dangerously and he dropped his hands and stepping back.

Sam reached for him instantly, pulling him back in and meeting his sad gaze. "I'm sorry for that." he sighed. "I really am. I just wasn't ready I was confused and lost." he shook his head. "It was a large leap to take."

Gabriel stared at him. "Only because you kept fighting it. Once you gave in... It's all been easier, hasn't it? - No doubts? No worries? - No regrets?" his tone screamed for reassurance, Sam could hear it loud and clear.

"I know, you're right. The last couple of months have been great, if not completely smooth sailing." he smiled sadly, thoughts of his brother's rejection crowding his mind. "But hindsight is twenty/twenty. At the time all I could think about was how this wasn't me. How it couldn't be real." he cupped Gabriel's face softly. "I'm sorry." he whispered, leaning in to press their lips together.

They were interrupted by a few loud knocks on the front door.

"I'll get it!" Claire called.

Sam looked softly at Gabriel. "We good?"

Gabriel nodded. "Yeah."

"Sam! It's for you!" Claire called from the door.

Sam stepped out from the kitchen and froze at the sight of his brother stood awkwardly into the doorway. Claire looking between them. Sam took a breath and approached cautiously. "Dean, you came?"

Dean shrugged nonchalantly, his lips pressed into a thin line, his eyes scanning the house. "Where's...Gabriel?" he asked, forcing the name out through clenched teeth.

"Kitchen. - Come in." Sam replied nervously.

Dean stepped over the threshold and Sam noted the bag hanging from his fingers. Claire closed the door.

"I'm glad you're here Dean." she smiled up at him brightly.

"Thanks, kid. Happy Christmas." he said handing the bag to her. Claire grinned taking it and rushed over to the couch, pulling out the tissue paper to find a leather bound journal. "Every hunter needs a journal." he grinned.

Claire's face lit up, her eyes flickering between the book and Dean, before he knew what was happening she was on her feet, her arms wrapped tight around Dean's middle.

Sam inhaled at the sight, his chest clenching once again. The awkward discomfort on his brother's face sent a warmth through him, settling in his stomach. This was what he'd always wanted. What he'd pictured when he'd started thinking about his future with Jessica.

"Dinner's ready." Gabriel announced, startling them all.

Sam turned sharply to look at the smaller man, a wave of guilt rippling thought him. He shouldn't be thinking about Jess today, about the plans he'd made with her. The life he'd wanted with her. He had a new future now, so utterly different to anything he could have imagined. Never in his wildest dreams could he have thought this was it for him. He would have laughed if someone had told him ten years ago that this was where he'd end up. That he'd be happy and in love again. - With Gabriel.

"Gabriel." Dean greeted, pulling Sam out of his thoughts.

"Dean." the Ex-archangel nodded cordially, turning back to the kitchen.

Sam followed after him quickly, catching his arm. "You okay with this?"

Gabriel looked past him to where Claire and Dean were making their way in. "I wouldn't have invited him if I wasn't." he smiled weakly.

Sam's lip quirked, knowing Gabriel was lying. He leant down and brushed a kiss to his lips. "Thank you."

"Whatever." Gabriel dismissed with a grin, pulling him in for another brief kiss.

The sound of a breath catching behind them had Sam turning his head to see Dean staring at them. His face pink and almost angry. Sam stared his brother down, he wasn't going to apologize or stop kissing his boyfriend. - God, that sounded weird but felt nice. - Dean was just going to have to deal with it. Though he hadn't exactly accepted Becky. - Not that he'd really been in love with Becky, and maybe that was the difference. He hoped that was the difference.

"Let's eat." Sam said, cutting though the awkward tension that was building.

 

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

Gabriel didn't know if he'd ever had such an uncomfortable dinner in his long, long life. Dean thankfully hadn't started any arguments, hadn't shot any snide comments his way. He'd basically spent the whole meal determinedly ignoring his existence, and once upon a time he would have been grateful for that, but this was his house, his dinner. He'd been the bigger man and held out the olive branch. He was not to be ignored.

But neither did he want another fight. He didn't want to slam that door that was slowly opening to allow the brothers to speak. So instead he pressed his lips together and ignored Dean right back. He stayed in the kitchen, cleaning while listening to Sam and Dean watch the game on TV, arguing and shouting, and laughing. It felt good to hear Sam laugh again. Really laugh, the way he only did with the big brother.

He was putting the dishes away when Sam strolled through on his way to the fridge for more beer.

"You almost done?" Sam asked.

"Almost." he replied reluctantly.

"Good, you're missing the game." Sam closed the fridge with a click and turned to leave.

"I'll pass." Gabriel dismissed.

Sam stopped, walking back to him. "What?"

Gabriel didn't look up. "I said I'll pass. I'll just stay in here, read. Maybe finish the reports the Sherriff's been on my case for."

Sam didn't move, Gabriel could feel his bitch face without seeing it.

"Look, I know things are tense with..."

Gabriel scoffed despite himself. "Tense? He's spent the last two and a half hours ignoring me."

Sam sighed. "I know. - But since when do you _allow_ anyone to ignore you?" he smirked.

Gabriel looked up at him. "Since the last time I tried to make him accept _this_..." he waved between them. "You didn't see or hear from him for weeks. I'm keeping the peace today, which means staying out of his way."

Sam stared down at him, green eyes intense and filled with something Gabriel couldn't quite name. It was times like this he wished he still had his magic.

Suddenly Sam was kissing him, properly this time, tongue exploring all those secret places that made Gabriel's toes curl and his knees go week. The fingers of Sam's free hand dragging though his hair, tugging gently. Gabriel lifted his arms to encircle Sam's neck, arching into him.

"Sammy, where's that beer!" Dean called from the other room, as if sensing their private moment.

Sam pulled back, smiling apologetically down at Gabriel as he knotted their fingers and began to drag him out of the kitchen.

"I'm not finished." Gabriel argued.

"Yeah, you are." Sam stated firmly.

Gabriel took a breath as he stepped over the invisible boundary between the kitchen and lounge. Dean's gaze meeting his, that flash of irritation in their depths.

"Here's your damn beer." Sam snapped lightly, handing over a bottle while refusing to let go of Gabriel's hand.

Dean took the beer with a nod, his gaze snapping back to the game. Sam sighed, moving to retake his seat, dragging Gabriel with him, his grip tightening when Gabriel tried to pull away.

Sam lowered himself down next to Dean, forcing Gabriel to take the space next to him. Gabriel looked down to watch Claire writing in her new journal. The tension in the room was suffocating and Gabriel hated it. Even Riot was restless. He tried to get up and leave but Sam clamped his hand down on his thigh, squeezing. Gabriel waited for him to remove it but he didn't and he could feel Dean shooting them disgruntled looks.

Gabriel found himself missing the good old days where he could click his fingers and disappear. Where Dean wouldn't be holding him tongue. Of course in the good old days he didn't have Sam and Claire.

Sighing Gabriel released back into the couch cushions and stared at the screen, not really paying attention to the game. His gaze drifting after a few moment, flickering to the bookshelf. Narrowing his eyes at the books, trying to move one with the power of his mind. He could have done that once, now he could only stare laughingly at him.

A sudden cheer went up next to him, making both him, Claire and Riot jump. He turned to stare at his lover to find him staring at Dean with a frown.

"What's wrong with you?" Sam demanded.

"Nothing." Dean grunted.

Sam exhaled wearily, staring at his brother intensely. Dean lifted his beer to his lips, not meeting his brother's tired gaze.

Suddenly Sam was on his feet, dragging Dean up by his forearm and towards the kitchen. Dean complaining about missing the game. Gabriel took the opportunity to snag a book off the shelf, retaking his seat but not opening it. He listened to the harsh low voices in the other room and closed his eyes with a sigh.

"Is Dean leaving again?" Claire whispered, looking up from her journal.

Gabriel shrugged. "I don't know. - What are ya doin'?" he asked trying to distract them both.

"Writing up the salt and burn from last month."

Gabriel smiled at her with an approving nod, finally opening the book in his lap. It was almost half an hour before the boys came back. Dean looking wrung out and pissed, but he didn't leave like Gabriel and Claire expected. He claimed the armchair while Sam retook his seat next to Gabriel. Gabriel sent Sam a questioning look that he replied to with a reassuring smile.

The rest of the evening passed in a tense silence but they survived their first Christmas as a family.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I haven't had the time to proof read this. Terribly sorry. If you find any glaring errors, please feel free to message me and tell me the mistake and I'll endeavour to correct it. Thank you. Enjoy. – Oh, and Happy New Year.

Gabriel sighed as another car sped past at just below the limit. He reached for the bag of chips in the passenger seat. He hated being stuck on the side of the round waiting for someone to go racing past like Road Runner. He'd already tried calling Sam to ease the boredom but there was no answer, which meant he was working.

Ripping open the pocket Gabriel tricked in and sat staring out at the empty road. Tapping his foot against the break peddle, he sighed again. He should have brought his computer with him, then at least he'd have something to do, or that book Sammy had brought him for Christmas. Anything would be more entertaining than staring at nothing but tarmac and trees.

He leant forward to turn on the radio when his cell began to ring on the seat next to him. He smiled at the sight of Sam's name. "Sammy-kins." there was a long silence and Gabriel felt his heart leap into his throat and begin to race. He sat up straighter. "Sam, what's happened?" he demanded harshly, panic slowly taking over.

"Nothing." Sam replied, though his tone said otherwise.

"Sam?"

"Did you know?"

"Know what?" Gabriel frowned, concerned and fearful.

There was another long pause before Sam spoke quietly. "The men of letters."

Gabriel stared straight ahead, swallowing hard. "What about them?"

"Our grandfather. He was one."

Gabriel took a breath. "Yes. - How did you find out?"

"Seems angels aren't the only ones that can time travel." Sam replied sharply. "He feel out of our closet."

Gabriel pressed his fingers into his eyes. "So that's what happened to him." he mumbled, leaning back in his seat and letting his head fall against the rest.

"What's that meant to me?" Sam demanded and Gabriel could just imagine the bitch-face.

"It means he vanished after the massacre. He wasn't among the dead."

Sam was silent again. "How do you know about them?"

Gabriel smiled sadly. "Come on Sam, your boys and your great destiny, of course we knew about Henry, and his father, grandfather, all the way back to..."

"Right. Of course." Sam cut him off angrily. "And it didn't occur to you to tell me?"

"It never came up." Gabriel defended, warily. "If I'd know he was just going to pop up I'd have said something. Everyone just assumed Abaddon had found him and..." Gabriel's eyes snapped open and he leant forward, staring panicked out at the empty road. "Abaddon. Sam, you've got to be careful, if he's there she can't..."

"Too late." Sam interrupted quietly.

"Sam?" he pressed worriedly.

"Don't worry, she's been dealt with. She's in a hundred little piece buried under concrete."

"You killed a night of hell?" Gabriel asked, torn between disbelief and pride.

"Killed? Not exactly. But she won't be hurting anyone again.

Gabriel inhaled deeply and sank back into the driver's seat. "And Henry?"

"Dead." Sam murmured regretfully.

"I'm sorry."

There was another drawn out silence, Gabriel watching the road uncertain what to say. Sam's tone made it clear that he wasn't happy, that he was pretty pissed that Gabriel hadn't revealed what he'd known about his family tree. That ever present fear was creeping its way up his spine, trying to take him over again. Would this be the excuse Sam was waiting for? Would it drive them apart? He tried to crush the treacherous whispers, and was doing a decent enough job at it. After all, Sam had come back to him before.

"We're heading to Lebanon." Sam finally announced, tone somewhat distant.

Gabriel froze, the little voice laughing and taunting in the back of his mind. "Oh."

"We need to check their place out." Sam clarified, not bothering to go into more detail.

Gabriel swallowed thickly, unable to speak. He just listened to Sam steady breathing down the line. He'd been stupid to think his happiness was going to last. Dean was right, he wasn't important to Sam, not like she'd been. He'd been a complete fool to even think it. And now, which his family legacy calling, of course Sam wouldn't stay. Sam was more Winchester than Campbell, knowledge was his weapon and the Men of Letters had a vast library of knowledge at their fingertips.

Of course, knowing Sam, he wouldn't leave straight away, no he'd pull away bit by bit as the men of letters took him into their fold. It didn't matter that they were all dead and buried , they'd left him with their legacy and that would be all Sam would need. "Fine." he sighed, too tired and resigned to everything to say anything else. "Bye Sam."

He hung up before the hunter could say anything and tossed the cell aside, then hung his head to rest on the steering wheel, cushioned on the back of his hands. His knuckles where while against the black plastic. The phone began to ring insistently on the seat but he ignored it. It had been a mistake letting Sam back into his life and now he was paying for it.

Not for the first time he wished he'd never found a way out of Purgatory. Life, or should he say death, had been simple there. Sure he spent all his time running, hiding but at least it didn't hurt so much. At least he didn't have any hopes to be dashed over and over again.

 

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

"What's wrong?" Dean asked curiously as Sam lowered his phone and hit the screen, again. "Sammy?"

Sam didn't say anything, his brows knitted tightly together. He re-dialled and lifted the phone to his ear.

"Sammy!" Dean snapped, drawing his brother's attention for only a split second.

"He hung up on me." Sam said, his features pinched with concern.

Dean relaxed beside him with a sigh. "Isn't that what people usually do at the end of a conversation? And considering the way you were talking to him, not that I'm sure he deserves it."

"I wasn't talking to him like anything." Sam argued, eyes focused on the phone. "And it wasn't the end of the conversation. - Now he's not answering."

Dean snorted. "If I spoke to Cas like that, he'd..." he trailed off, shaking his head. "He's probably just...working or whatever." Dean dismissed.

Sam turned to stare at his brother. "I think you should drop me off at the next town." Sam said, rolling his cell in his palm thoughtfully.

Dean's head snapped around to stare at him, his jaw tight. "What?"

"You heard me, Dean. I should..."

"So he throws a bitch-fit and you go running? Are you kidding me?" Dean snapped furiously, his fingers tight around the wheel.

Sam glared at his brother. "He's not throwing a bitch-fit, something could have happened."

Dean rolled his eyes, shaking his head.

"What?"

"Nothing." Dean said through gritted teeth.

Sam sighed, ignoring his brother. His thought fleeing back to Gabriel. He'd recognized the tone, it was that tired, resigned one he'd used too many times for Sam's liking. IT said that even after all these months, he was still expecting him to walk away, and something told him that it was rooting in Gabriel's argument with Dean.

"What about this place? _You_ wanted to check it out." Dean reminded him harshly.

"It's not going anywhere Dean." Sam argued.

"I knew that dick-less son of a bitch was going to be a problem. - That's why I said you had to be in or out." Dean shook his head.

"No, you said that so I'd leave him because you have a problem with me being with a guy." Sam argued angrily. "And believe me, he's anything _but_ dick-less." he spat, knowing it would make his brother uncomfortable, and it worked, going by the way his brother's face reddened and grew tight.

The impala jerked into the side of the road and screeched to a halt. Sam looked over at Dean, his brother's angrily disgust in every inch of his features. After a few moments Dean shoved open the door, climbing out of the car and marching to the front. Sam watched intrigued as he paced back and forth, every muscle in Dean's body tense.

Sam remained within the car only for a few minutes before following after his brother. He stood leaning on the hood of the Impala, arms crossed over his chest, eyes tracking Dean every movement.

Suddenly Dean Turned to him, his eyes narrow. "You can't keep running off when we're working just because he's having a hissing fit."

Sam glowered back at him. "Firstly, like I said, he's not having a 'hissing fit', and even if he were, it would be your fault. Whatever you said to him had left him convinced I'm going to split any minute. You wanna tell me what you said to him?"

Dean's jaw tightened, his arms folded defensively. "Nothing that wasn't true."

"Oh really? So, what was it? - Because it sure as hell wasn't that I'm happy?"

The pair stared at each other, challenging and cold. Dean flipped his hand dismissively and marched towards the driver's seat, but Sam stopped him, grabbing his arm tightly.

"We're not finished Dean." He said furiously. "Secondly, I didn't complain when you ran off during a case because Ben called."

Dean froze, not looking at his brother. His gaze narrowing off into the distance. "That was different." he growled, fighting to stay calm.

"Was it? I didn't complain or give you a hard time when you tried to have a normal life."

Dean spun, fixing Sam with a death glare. "You didn't have a soul, you didn't give a shit what I did or didn't do. - Hell, if it weren't for you, me and Lisa would still be together!"

"Who are you kidding Dean! It was never going to work." Sam shook his head. "We both know that."

"You wanted me to go be with her!" Dean pointed out.

"Your right, I did. Because I wanted you to be happy and I was blind to what was right in front of me. But you finished with her, _you_ walked away. - Or should I say she kick you to the curb. That had nothing to do with me."

Dean's face tightened dangerously. "Don't!" he warned, hand trembling at his side.

"Oh so you can't bitch at my boyfriend but god-forbid I should say anything against Lisa." Sam shook his head. "I let you have your family, Dean. I didn't cause you any problems, that it didn't work is not on me. So let me have mine!"

Dean fumed in from of him, his face turning a dark shade of red. Sam sighed, this fight was never going to be over. Dean was never going to accept them. Maybe they were better off apart. He didn't want to admit that but maybe they'd finally reached the end of the road. Shaking his head Sam headed for the back of the car, yanking open the door and retrieving his duffle bag, slinging it over his shoulder and slamming the door with a loud thud of metal on metal. He turned to see Dean watching him, his features looking drown with pain, sadness and more than a hint of stubborn pride.

"Have a nice life Dean." He murmured, smiling regretfully at his brother before turning away, a heavy weight on his chest. He'd never imagined it ending like this.

He was a few feet away when he heard the rumble of the Impala's engine starting and the scream of its tyres. He didn't turn to watch his brother leave, somehow it was easier that way.

He was half a mile down the almost empty road when a car pulled slowly up beside him. His heart tightening in his chest as the gleam of familiar black metal. He didn't look around, just kept on walking. His fingers tighten around the strap of his bag. The silence only broken by the soft rumble of the engine.

Sam jumped slightly at the sound of Dean's sudden voice, loud over the metallic purr. "Look, you're right, I have a problem with you being with _him_. I can't help that. I don't like it. I don't like him."

Sam inhaled slowly thought his nose, straightening his spine further as he walked. He knuckles white against the green canvas strap.

"But…locking those sons of bitches up in the furnace once and for all, it's too important and the only way we're going to make it happen is by hanging together. – So…if you…I can deal with it."

Sam stopped abruptly. "Deal with it?" he said harshly, staring at Dean thought the open window.

"Look I'm not going to give you my blessing. I can't do that." He shook his head. "Not…I can't…"

Sam groaned to himself and turned to start walking.

"Hey, I'm trying." He yelled, leaning out the window.

Sam stopped again. "This." He said sharply. "Is not trying Dean, this is you playing along, hoping I'll get bored or came to my senses!"

"So?"

"So?" Sam yelled furiously, spinning around to glowering. "That's not going to happen Dean!"`

"How can you be so sure? Huh? It's not like you…"

"Because I lov…."

Sam was cut off by the sound of his phone ringing, he reached for it quickly, praying it was Gabriel and being crushed with disappointment. When he saw the name he inhaled a lungful of winter air. He lifted the phone to his ear. "Kevin, this isn't really… What?" he looked at Dean and nodded. "Okay, we can…. – Yeah, soon we're not far." He hung up and shook his head.

"What is it?" Dean asked from inside the car, his eyes fixed on Sam's torn troubled face.

"Kevin he's something."

"Great." Dean said happily.

Sam looked from his brother to the phone, to the road ahead of him.

"Are you coming?"

Closing his eyes for a moment, he nodded before reluctant climbing into the car. Dean was right about one thing, closing hell had to come before all there problems.

 

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

The weather seemed to be challenging his mood, almost from the instant he'd hung up from Sam, it had been pouring down. A storm obviously was on its way. He rushed from the barn, his uniform soaking though quickly. He burst through the door and almost tripped over Riot, who was stood in front of him, growling at the dark beyond him. He glanced over his shoulder but saw nothing. "What's wrong with you?" he asked with a laugh, his fingers dragging though his damp hair.

He looked up to see Claire rushing towards him, that's when he realized they weren't alone. On the couch sat Rita, pale and trembling. "Rita?"

"She won't talk, she's been waiting for you." Claire said in her stead, looking up at him with concern.

A flash of lightening and a loud crash of thunder caused them all to jump Gabriel's heart flying into his throat when Rita screamed. He rushed over to her, perching on the edge of the coffee table, taking the warmer's frozen trembling hands. "Rita? Reet, what's wrong?"

She looked into his eyes, her even overshadowed with a fear that instantly shot through Gabriel. Her skin so pale he could easily believe she was a zombie.

"What happened?"

She shook her head at him, her mouth open but silent.

"Rita, talk to me." He pleaded. "Do you want me to call Annabella?"

The woman's head rattled violently, tears beginning to swell in her eyes. "N-no." she whispered brokenly.

"Then take to me. I can't help you if you do tell me what's happened."

Silence stretched between them and Gabriel sighed with frustration, looking over to Claire who stared back at him with worry written all over her face. She shrugged sadly at him. Riot's loud bark torn though the silence, followed swiftly by another and another. A serious of equally land and dangerous growls cutting between them. Gabriel turned to stare at Rita, who leapt off the couch, stumbling away from the window as another flash of lightening lit up the rom. Gabriel got to his feet, his heart racing and his stomach tight as he looked between Riot and his friend, a bad feeling settling in his chest. Taking a breath he glanced over at Claire. "How long has she been here?"

Claire shrugged. "About 10 minutes."

"Claire, grab the rock salt from the pantry, block the windows and doors." He ordered breathlessly, already rushing for the hall closet to grab the shot gun.

"What is it?" Claire called over her shoulder, vanishing into the kitchen.

With the shot gun in his hand Gabriel marched back to Rita, meeting the woman's terrified eyes. "Rita, what is it? – Tell me!" he demanded loudly.

Rita's lip began to tremble, tears streaming down her face. Gabriel was opening his much to demand answers again when a loud window rattling howl filled to room and an ice cold chill blanketed him, he turned wide eyes towards the window. His heart pounding painfully against his rib.

His head snapped around to stare shocked at Rita. "Hellhound? Rita, Hellhounds?"

The woman collapsed to her knees, her face buried in her hand.

Gabriel swallowed hard, marching over to the window. "Claire! Hurry up." He glared out pointlessly at the dark, a sheet of rain blocking his view. Not that he'd be able to see the thing anyway.

"The back doors are done." Claire said running back in, the bag gripped tight in her hands.

Gabriel rushed over, taking the bag from her. "Claire, go upstairs, in the bottom drawer of my dresser you'll find an angel blade." She ran off and Gabriel sighed wearily. He dragged a hand through his hair and watched the woman closely, moving back to her side slowly, the shot gun tight in her hand.

Claire was back a moment later, the light gleaming off the silver in her hand. A heavy weight settled in his stomach at the sight of her. He could tell she was scared and he wished he could do something to erase that fear. A spark of anger shot through him, furious that Rita would bring this to his door. Of course that feeling was swiftly eclipsed by guilt.

He looked out the window once more, frustrated that he couldn't see anything. When he was an archangel, he could see Hellhounds everywhere. He could stop them with a click of his fingers. Now he was human and the cold sweat of fear rolled down his spine with the knowledge that they could all very well die tonight. That Sam would come home, if he came home, to find their mutilated bodies. Tears burned at his eyes and he swallowed the large ball of anger, regret and sorrow that was lodged in his throat.

He turned to look at Claire, clearing his throat. "You n-need to go upstairs." He ordered brokenly. "Lock yourself in the bathroom, rock salt the door and don't come out, no matter what."

"Dad, no."

"Go!" Gabriel growled. "And take Riot with you, and this." He threw the shot gun at her.

Claire caught it with practised ease, even as she shook her head and tears filled her eyes, rolling down her cheeks. She wanted to argue he could tell, but thankfully she didn't. Instead she grabbed Riot's collar and reluctantly dragged the dog towards the stairs.


	15. Chapter 15

Sam was staring at the screen of his laptop trying to find any sign of a demon deal ready to expire. Kevin's revelation rolling around and around in his head. He had to admit the idea of bathing in the blood of a hellhound didn't in anyway sound appealing, not in the slightest but if it got the gates of hell closed forever he was all in. Hand him the knife.

But what was really making him antsy was the situation with Dean and Gabriel. Dean was playing the 'it didn't happen.' Card again, burying his god-damn head in the sand, while Gabriel was just plain old ignoring him. He'd tried calling four times since their conversation and he hadn't answered a single one, just let them go to voicemail. He didn't even care enough to answer and hang up.

Sam growled, frustrated at himself as he pulled up yet another news report, he'd already found a couple of prospects but the dates didn't tally, not properly. There was at least another month before one was due to be called in. He'd have to talk to Dean, maybe they'd have to wait, which frankly suited him just fine.

He glanced up as Kevin walked through the room looking better than he had when they'd arrive, the guy had looked close to death, dark shadows beneath his eyes, pale, skinny and he'd smelt like the kind of crap they dug up in graveyards. "How you feeling?" he asked with a warm smile.

"Better." Kevin nodded.

"Look Kevin, you need to take care of yourself."

The door flew open just as the young man was about to speak, Dean strolling in with two white plastic bags. Sam turned back to an article on miracle cures when a name leapt out at him, then another. He inhaled sharply, sitting straighter in his seat and he scrolled on and on, reading quickly.

He was out of the chair before Dean could say a word, already racing towards the door.

"Sammy? What's wrong?"

"Let's go Dean. _Now_!" he practically yelled.

He could hear his brother behind him but he didn't stop until he'd reached the Impala and was slipping into the passenger seat.

"What's going on?" Dean asked with grave concern.

"I need to get home."

Dean exhaled almost angrily, slumping against the leather seat. "Seriously, that's it? We're working here!"

Sam turned to glare furiously at his brother. "That's what I'm doing!" he yelled. "You want a hellhound, get me home. _Now_!"

 

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

The closer the hound got the clearer its growls became. Gabriel could hear them now and it sent a chill through him, his heart pummelling itself against his ribs, as if desperate to escape the nightmare to come. He looked to the ceiling as he caught the sound of Riot's barks, then his gaze flickered across to where Rita was sat pressed to the wall, her knees to her chest and her face buried into them. He could see her slim form shaking violently.

"What happened?" Gabriel asked, unable to keep the accusation out of his voice. Rita looked up, red eyes filled with agony and fear, and Gabriel's anger slipped away. "Why?" he pressed, voice softer now.

Rita shifted on her butt and sniffled before speaking. "Molly."

"What about her?" He thought about Annabella's daughter, her bright smile and warm welcoming demeanour, so much like her mother.

Rita swallowed hard. "Annabella told you about her being sick, right?"

Gabriel frowned, he had been told about Molly's two year fight with Leukaemia. He shook his head, how hadn't he realized. A miracle, Annabella had said. It was so obvious now, why not then? Had he really believed his brothers had actually stepped up to the plate? Honestly, yes. It happened on occasion, though usually there was a reason for them to save a life. "Rita?" he murmured sadly, shaking his head, tears pooling as he watched his friend tremble with fear, knowing there was nothing he could do to save her, not anymore. "You should have told me sooner." He murmured as another howl ripped through the night sky.

 

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

Sam's stomach plummeted as the Impala pulled up to the house, he could see the mess before he'd even climbed out of the car. He could see the mess before he'd even climbed out of the car, the front door hanging off its hinges, the front window shattered; its curtain billowing out into the night. Pulling the demon knife from his jacket, he raced for the door. Dean's hurried footsteps behind him. "Gabriel!" he yelled, his eyes scanning the entrance hall. "Claire!" he drew to a halt the second his eyes fell on the ex-archangel laying across the living room floor in a pool of blood and wood.

Sam's chest felt like it had collapsed in on itself and he fought to breath, even as he sprinted across the room, before he could reach Gabriel however, he felt himself trip over something. He looked down at the blood stained floor and moved his foot, feeling a heavy weight against his toe. Cautiously he crouched and reached out. His fingers met damp course fur and flesh, drawing back to find them covered in yet more dark black blood.

Inhaling sharply Sam looked over to see Dean vanishing into the kitchen. Swallowing thickly he stepped over the invisible corpse and dropped down at the other man's side. He wrinkled his nose at the same dark gooey blood covering the ex-archangel. "Gabriel?" he said brokenly, reaching out with shaking fingers to the man's throat, holding his breath as he waits for proof of life. He closed his eyes, tears burning beneath the lids. God don't you dare leave me, you jackass.

A weak beat fluttered against his finger tips and he exhaled a rushed breath. "Gabriel." his voice broke on the name and lifted his hand to the man's cheek. "Come on, man. Wake you." he tapped at his cheek.

The amber eyes opened partially. "Hey k-kiddo." he choked, coughing and groaning painfully. "What took y'so long?"

Sam inhaled sharply, shaking his head. He leant forward, pressing his lips to Gabriel's. The ex-archangel groaned and Sam instantly pulled back. "Gabe?"

The other man didn't reply and Sam's attention was drawn to the stairs and the sound of running feet. Claire and Riot rushed towards him, the girl throwing her arms around him and almost knocking him over.

"Thank god." Claire whispered into his shoulder.

Sam closed his arms around her. "Its okay." he replied reassuringly. His gaze travelled to where Dean was stood by the kitchen entrance, gun lowered to his side. He shook his head and Sam's eyes flicked to the dark figure behind him.

 

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

Gabriel sat exhausted and heartbroken as Sam and Dean cleaned up the scene of destruction, dragging out the invisible remains of the hell-hound as well as what was left of Rita. He closed his eyes regretfully, pulling Claire closer into his side. Her cheek pressed against his chest, her fingers wrapped tightly in the folds of his shirt, knuckles white and terrified of letting him go. A feeling he shared.

He wished Rita had told him sooner about her deal. He wasn't able to do anything in his present state, sure, but they could have done something, been prepared. Found a way to break the deal.

He shook his head at the all too human desperation. How many times had he stood by and scoffed at human's for that? _You made your bed, you lie in it._

Gabriel pressed his face into Claire's soft sweet scented hair and let the tear run down his face at the loss of his friend. He sat like that for a few minutes, clinging onto Claire, allowing the pain of loss to wash over him. He'd never got used to it. - Feeling. It had been easier as an angel.

The sound of hushed angry voices from the kitchen drew his attention. Gently shifted Claire off him, a reassuring smile on his face and got to his feet. Strolling cautiously to the kitchen to see what was happening. Ready to deal once again with Dean's anger.

"We know whe..."

"It's the most sensible solution Sam!" Dean insisted warily.

"We have the Cassity's!" Sam argued sharply, his voice straining to remain quiet when he clearly wanted to yell.

"That's almost a month away, you really want to wait around another month when we've got everything we need here?"

Gabriel frowned as Sam stepped into Dean's personal space, towering over him, voice dripping with warning.

"We are not using Gabriel!" he growled.

Dean instantly straightened, the defensiveness reinforcing his spine. "This isn't about you, it's about saving the world. It's about closing the gates, locking those sons of bitches up for good. Don't be so selfish!"

"He already did his part." Sam snapped, voice growing louder with frustration. "He already died helping save the world, Dean. I'm not letting him do it again. I ca..." Sam snapped his bloodshot eyes. "You wouldn't be saying this if it were Cas." he pointed out coldly.

Dean clenched his jaw and Gabriel watched as the man's fingers flexed at his side. He was going to blow, it was so obvious and undoubtedly Sam knew that too.

"Boys." Gabriel interrupted, marching into the kitchen, though his appearance didn't seem to ease the tension. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." Sam replied bluntly, his gaze never leaving his brother.

"Huh-uh." Gabriel huffed, disbelievingly, looking between them.

"We've got a chance to close the gates of hell but Sam's..."

"Dean." Sam hissed in warning.

Gabriel stepped closer to his lover, raising his hand and setting it comfortingly on the taller man's beep, squeezing lightly. "Meaning?" he pressed, turning to Dean curiously. "I've told Sam before I don't know anything..."

Dean tore his gaze from Sam to look down at the ex-archangel. "Kevin's decrypted the first trial last night."

"Oh." Gabriel frowned. "And?"

"Dean." Sam whispered.

"It's to kill a hell hound and bath in its blood." Dean informed him matter-of-factly, his eyes racking down Gabriel's blood stained clothes.

Gabriel inhaled slowly, his hand finally dropping from Sam's arm, his own arms wrapping defensively over his chest, as he stared down at himself. "Oh. I see."

"It doesn't matter." Sam insisted harshly. "We know where a hellhounds going to be next month, we'll head there and we'll try again." He shot Dean a murderous glare.

Gabriel stared at his blood soaked shirt, his head a cyclone of thoughts and feelings. He shook his head. "No."

"Gabriel."

"Dean's right." he heard himself whisper. "I'm here, I can do this."

"No!" Sam snapped loudly, turning to glare at Gabriel.

The ex-archangel looked up confidently. "Come on Sammy." he murmured wearily. "You really think I'm going to just let you go off and face a hell hound when I'm...done." he stretched out his arms to show off his blood drenched clothing. "You could get yourself killed." He sighed. "I'm act willing to risk that." - Besides, I'm..." he swallowed thickly, his golden eyes locked with Sam's red rimmed hazel ones. "I'm not even meant to be here, I'm meant to be rotting away in purgatory for eternity."

"Gabriel..."

He stepped closer to Sam. "Look, I got a reprieve and it's been a great two years."

Sam scoffed disbelievingly, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"It has." Gabriel insisted. "Being human isn't all that bad."

Sam closed his eyes, inhaling slowly. "This isn't going to be...simple."

"It never is where you boys are involved." Gabriel chuckled weakly. "But it'll be worth it in the end."

The room fell silent, the pair wrapped in their own bubble of sadness and resignation. Sam was the first to break the silence. Straightening his spine, putting even more height on himself he looked down at Gabriel and the angel's heart skipped at the pure stubborn determination in those watery orbs.

"Fine, but don't think I'm letting you go that easily." Sam informed him firmly. "You know how pig-headed I can be." he glowered, silently reminding Gabriel of a hundred Tuesdays. "You're getting out from this in one piece, if I have to drag you."

Gabriel's lip curled up in the corner, a breathily wet laugh forcing its way free. "Really."

"Really." Sam nodded.

Gabriel inhaled sharply, smirking. "Alright Winchester."

Dean groaned loudly, pulling both men's attention away from one another. "Can we just get this over with? I'm tired and need a shower." he sighed.

Gabriel grinned triumphantly at the older Winchester, glad to see Dean's discomfort plastered across his face. "Sure thing, Dean-o. What do I do?"

"Never call me Dean-o again for a start." he warned through gritted teeth, riffling in his pocket for the scrap of paper Kevin had given him, thrusting it towards the ex-archangel furiously. "Say this."

Gabriel took the paper and stared down at the ancient Enochian. "That's it?" he looked between the brothers, the pain shrugging.

Inhaling slowly though his rose, Gabriel took a couple of steps away from Sam, rolling his shoulder. "Okay, here it goes." he took another deep breath. "Kah Nah Urm Dah." he stood silently, looking between the brothers, shrugging at the pairs questioning look. "You sure this is the right...Ahhhh!"

Gabriel's legs went beneath him, sending him to his knees, his hands braced against the wooden floorboards. Pain ripping though his chest and his vision filled with bright white lights, his ears ringing. He stared down at his outstretched arm, watching it pulsate with heat and light. As the glow faded, so too did the pain, his breathing evening out.

"Gabriel? - Gabriel?" Sam called.

He winced at the panic and fear in Sam's voice, lifting his eyes to meet the worried hazel he forced a smile. "I'm good. - I'm good."

Sam didn't look at all convinced. He help Gabriel back to his feet, holding him as he swayed slightly. Regaining his balance, Gabriel smiled shakily at Sam, not failing to notice the death glare the hunter was sending his brother over his head. A sniffling noise behind him had Gabriel turning to see a deathly pale, terrified Claire.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shortness of the chapter


	16. Chapter 16

"Is this really necessary?" Gabriel sighed, dropping yet another pile of shirts into the large black duffle.

Sam looked up from his own packing. "Yes." was his only reply.

Gabriel rolled his eyes, heading back to the closet. "I'm feeling fine." he lied.

"I don't care, we're leaving."

It had been more moments after Gabriel had completed the first trial that Sam had announced they were leaving, surprisingly to no argument from Claire. Gabriel however had spent the last how arguing headed even as he'd pulled out the bags and boxes, and began to thrown their belongings into them.

Dean had gone off to 'deal' with Rita's remains. Gabriel had insisted that his late friend be fund in a few days. He didn't want Annabella to spend years anxiously waiting for news. She deserved closer, if not answers. At least he was confident that the finger of suspicion wouldn't be panted at him, at least not by local PD. Her body was too...damaged, nothing human could inflict the wounds he'd seen on her before the brothers had covered her. It'll be chalked up to an animal attack, as they always were. A hunter or too many come sniffing around but they'd figure out the truth.

Of course they'd probably be speculation, people loved to gossip, especially in small towns. Him, Claire and Sam all vanishing into the night at the same time of the death, people would put two and two together and come up with 22. He just hoped Annabella wouldn't be one of those suspicious little voices. He hated to think of his friend thinking the worst of him.

Gabriel moved around the room in silence, his feet dragging. He was in the bathroom. When the coughing started, an unforgiving tickle at the back of his throat.

"You okay?" Sam asked worriedly, handing Gabriel a glass of tap water.

"Fire." the ex-angel choked, gulping down the cool water. "Just a tickly throat. - I'm probably coming down with something. I did spend the whole day sat out in my cruiser.

Sam didn't look convinced but didn't press the issue, nodding instead. Taking a breath he stepped around the shorter man, wrapping his arms around him from behind, his chin resting on top of Gabriel's head, meeting his blood shot eyes in the mirror. "I'm sorry." he whispered. "About Rita. I tried to get here as soon as possible."

Gabriel exhaled sadly, his smile weak and broken. "I know. I...I just wish she'd told us. - I wish I could have saved her."

Sam tilted his head forward, pressing a kiss to the fine golden brown hair. "I know."

"So where exactly are we going to go now?" Gabriel asked quietly, relaxing into the taller man's embrace.

"I don't know." Sam murmured. "I just know I'm not letting you out of my sigh until these trails are done."

"That's going to get old fast." Gabriel commented, unimpressed.

"I don't care."

Gabriel shook his head, sighing warily. "So we're gonna spend the next...few months, driving around in that can? _All_ of us?" he scoffed.

Sam groaned, wincing at the truth in his lovers words. "What else can we do?"

"Stay here."

Sam released Gabriel, stepping away. "No."

Gabriel grunted frustratingly, turning to follow after the younger men, loosening his shoulder against the door frame. "You're such a stubborn ass. Seriously. There's nothing to stop us from..."

"You really want to face Annabelle every day?" Sam snapped angrily. "You have any idea how hard that's going to be? Do you? - You already feel guilty for not saving her, you wanna stand at her grave, look her sister in the eye knowing you'd failed?"

Gabriel inhaled sharply, his chest tightening.

"You think you can handle that, because believe me, it'll damn near kill you. - I'm talking from experience."

"And your answer is to run away?" he replied coldly.

Sam met his gaze icily. "You're hardly one to be passing judgement. I'm not the only one that runs when things gets hard!"

Gabriel narrowed his eyes. "And what about Claire?" he snapped furiously, ignoring Sam's truthful words. "What happened to wanting her to have a normal life? School, college?"

"She..." Sam deflated slightly. "Gabe, I... I just want you both safe. With me. - Crowley's gonna come looking for his mutt, you know that. I don't want him finding you both instead."

Gabriel shifted, pressing his back against the frame, his head handing. He pressed his fingers into his eye sockets. "Fine." he whispered, surrendering to the inevitable. "But I'm not spending the rest of my life, riding around in that car." he snapped, pushing himself away from the wall.

"What?"

"Me and Dean will end up killing each other in a matter of days, we need somewhere where we can keep out of one another's way as much as humanly possible."

"Meaning?" Sam frowned, watching Gabriel intensely as he marched past him back into the bedroom.

"We're going to Kansas. I know just the place."

 

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

It was almost dawn when Dean slammed the truck closed and violently yanked the driver's side door open, shooting a death glare at the backseat, aimed mostly at the dog stretched half on Claire's lap and half on the leather. Claire herself had her head against the dew covered window, her eyes closed. If it weren't for the movement of her hand over the fur, they could easily believe she was asleep.

Sam glanced over at them, smiling reassuringly at Gabriel before turning to shoot his brother a hard look. Dean continued to grumble under his breath about hating dogs as he pulled away from the house and onto the dirt road beyond. He'd already filled Dean in on the plan, and while Dean had argued he'd also agreed. - Though that probably had move to do with Sam panting out that it was his idea for Gabriel to take on the trials. Which meant keeping the ex-archangel close. It had left Sam with a satisfied warmth in his stomach.

The multi drive was mostly carried out in tense silence. Dean had attempted to put the music on, only for Sam to turn it off again because Claire was sleeping. They stepped only once around noon to grab something to eat at a truck stop and use the bathrooms. Then it was back on the road for more hours of tension, though thankfully not as silent, the radio blasting out classic rock.

It was early dusk when they pulled up to a rusty gate that displayed a red sign informing the world that trespassers will be punished. Sam glanced into the back. "You sure this is the right place?"

Gabriel nodded Dean climbed out, marching up to the gate where he forced it aside, watching his baby roll past before closing it again. He quickly climbed back inside and Sam drove up the shallow incline. After a few feet the Impala pulled to a halt outside a large building that resembled a factory or power station.

They all climbed out of the car, Dean and Sam exchanging curious looks. Claire's fingers tightened around Riot's lead while stepping closer to Gabriel, who instinctively put his arm around the girl's shoulders.

"Okay, when was the last time someone was in this place?" Dean asked, reaching into his jacket pocket for the small wooden box his grandfather had given them only a few days ago.

"Sixty-five, seventy year ago." Sam replied, looking back to Gabriel for confirmation. The man gave him a small nodded. "You guys wait here." Sam insisted.

"You might wanna take a couple of flashlights with y'boys." Gabriel said warmly. "I doubt they left the lights on for you."

Sam and Dean exchanged looks then Sam rushed back to the car, rooting around in the truck. Beneath all the bags and box. By the time he gets back to Dean, smiling at Gabriel on the way, the door was unlocked, a tunnel stretching out in front of them. Sam looked back at Gabriel and Claire before following his brother inside.

It was only a few feet before they reached a secondary door, pulling it open they stepped inside, coming to a hall on an iron balcony overlooking a large room. The place was stale with age and Sam waved the flashlight, illuminating the room below. A large table with a map of the world printed on the surface, radio equipment. It resembled a war room.

"Son of a bitch." Dean murmured beside him.

"Look at this." Sam said, stepping over to the stairs and looking down at the desk below. "Ham radio, telegraph, and switchboard. This was there nerve center." he said in awe.

"Henry did say that they ran dispatch on their own team of hunters."

Sam headed down the stairs.

"Looks like whoever was manning the hub left quickly!" Dean called down from above.

"Oh the alarm call that ended the men of letters." Sam mumbled, looking at his abandoned legacy. He squinted as the room suddenly filled with light, looking up to see Dean flipped another switch, turning back when yet more lights came on. His mouth fell open at the sight before him. "Son of a bitch."

"Sammy, I think we found the bat cave." Dean said, appearing suddenly beside him.

Sam stood in silent wonder for another few moments, then startled, remembering Gabriel and Claire were waiting for them without another word, Sam stun on his heels, rushing back up the stairs and outside.

The sky had begun to turn that warm shade of orange as the sunset. He looked around slightly fearful when he exited to find no one waiting, but quickly shook it off as he caught sight of Riot lying beside the car, the back door and Claire's legs hanging out. He rushed over to them, smiling. "It's clear."

Claire smiled weakly, grabbing Riot's lead and marching off towards the entrance, her backpack on one shoulder. Sam watched her go with a regretful sigh, then turned to face Gabriel.

"She'll be okay." Gabriel reassured.

Sam nodded, the corner of his mouth turning up a little. "How about you?"

Gabriel shrugged. "Just tired."

Wrapping his arm around the smaller men's shoulder, Sam smiled. "Let's go find you a bed."

"Only if you promise to join me." he said seductively. "After hours in that things I'm all stiff. I could use a workout."

Sam snorted, putting the man along towards the stairs. "This place is so big, it probably has a gym." he replied matter-of-factly.

Gabriel scoffed derisively. "I prefer team workouts, you know that." he slapped Sam's ass as they entered the bunker.

 

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

It didn't take them long to find a room, there were a good few just waiting to be taken even by the group. Claire had taken the one directly opposite there room, insisting she wanted more than a wall between them. Dean had glared irritably at them before marching off down the corridor, putting as much space between them that was probably necessary. The slam of his door echoed back to them and Sam sighed, closing his eyes for a long moment till he felt Gabriel's hand on his arm.

"He'll get over it." the man whispered.

Sam shook his head. "I don't' think he will."

"Well he'll have to just suck it up and deal because I'm not going anywhere soon. - Besides, he needs me." Gabriel grinned.

Sam turned, looking down at him with sad fearful eyes. "You're not going anywhere ever." he whispered, leaning down to capture the man's lips, causing Gabriel to stumble under the hot onslaught. Sam wrapped his arm around Gabriel's waist and forced him back into the room they'd claimed as their own, kicking the door shut behind them.

Gabriel's hurried hands shoved Sam's jacket off his shoulders and down his arms, the hunter having to let go of his lover when he became tangled. He angrily shook off the jacket, tossing it aside then going back to touching Gabriel. While the ex-archangel tore at Sam's shirt and fumbled with his belt and zipper. Sam's breath caught the instant Gabriel's slim fingers wrapping around his dick, stroking and squeezing him gentle.

Sam hooked his fingers around the hem of Gabriel's t-shirt, dragging it up his chest. The older man refusing to stop his ministrations as Sam freed him practically from the fabric. Their mouths connecting the second he was free, his own shirt and tee tossed casually aside. Tongues moving around one another in a desperate hungry dance.

Gabriel's legs hit the bed, causing them both to tumble back against the decade's old mattress, the pair moaning from pain rather than pleasure. It was fleeting through, their mouths seeking one another within moments of landing. There kiss deep and dirty. Sam's hips jerked forward to rub his hardened cock against Gabriel's thigh, the man's hand having been dislodged from his pants by their fall. Now both sets of fingers carded through Sam's hair, tugging every few seconds.

They moaned as they moved against each other, breathing heavily as lust flooded both their bodies. Sam reluctantly pulled away, his hands fumbling with Gabriel's jeans, yanking both the denim and his underwear down the smaller man's legs, growling frustratingly as they tangled with his shoes. Gabriel laughed breathlessly, leaning up on his elbows to watching joyously as Sam angrily dealt with the troublesome clothing.

When he finally had the clothing free of Gabriel's legs, leaving the ex-archangel naked and very obviously aroused. Sam got to his feet and quickly stripped himself down, then swiftly moved back to join his lover. Stretching himself over the smaller man like a blanket, recapturing. Gabriel's hips, his hand skimming over his flanks. Moaning as their cock met, stroking deliciously. The please and desire it sparked in Sam never failed to surprise him. He wasn't sure he'd _ever_ get used to it, and part of him never wanted to.

Gabriel moaned into the frantic kiss, his leg rising to wrap around Sam's hip, the hunger's fingers curling into the thigh, his nails biting into the flesh as he rocked forward, soliciting another moan. This time from them both.

Sam broke the kiss to breathe, then let his lips slide down the curve of Gabriel's throat, biting and sucking. His grip on the man tightening, as if terrified of letting go. As if doing so would mean losing him. Gabriel's head rolled back against the mattress, his hips thrusting up instinctively.

Gabriel pried Sam's hand from his leg, lifting it to his mouth. He looked at the hunter's fingers for a moment before opening his mouth wide and slipping them inside, swirling his tongue around them. Sam knew what he was doing. The bags were still in the car, which meant so too was the lube.

With his fingers generously coated in Gabriel's salvia, Sam extracted them with a wet pop and shifted, lowing them to Gabriel's ass, circling the tight ring of muscle for a few long seconds before pushing first one then the other inside. He loved the way his heart and dick jumped at the whimper Gabriel released. He took his time, working him open, loosening him up. Taunting and teasing his lover until Gabriel squirmed, demanding he get a fucking move on. "I'm ready!" he panted, frustrated, moaning when Sam's fingers disappeared along with his warm body.

Sam rushed over to his discarded jacket that had landed awkwardly on the desk in the corner. Lifting it he hurriedly rummaged through the pockets, yanking out is wallet to retrieve the small foil wrapper inside, tossing the leather aside and turning back to his lover. Gabriel lay watching him, bracing his upper body on his elbows, frowning.

"I don't know how I feel about y'havin' that thing in your wallet." he murmured.

Sam smiled at him cheekily, ripping the foil and rolling the condom on as he made his way back to the bed, his eyes never leaving Gabriel. "I have it for two reasons." he said huskily, pausing to spit in his hand and slick up the rubber before reclaiming his place between his lovers legs, lifting them high. Positioning his eager cock against the man's asshole. "Firstly." he groaned pushing forward slowly, allowing Gabriel's body to adjust and accept him, bit by bit. "I have...it...be-because you have t-the libido of an ally-cat a-and the p-patients of a...t-ten dollar hookaaaah." he moaned, sinking a little deeper.

Gabriel huffed indignantly, but his lips stretched into a mischievous proud grin, gasping deep in his throat as Sam claimed a little more room in his body. "And...s-second?"

Sam smiled down at him, moving closer. He blanketed his body over Gabriel's completely, his fingers combing through the ex-archangel's hair. S-secondly, if I didn't k-keep my wallet stocked, god only k-knows what k-kind of s-shit Dean would get. His dick w-would probably have fallen o-off by now."

Gabriel let out a loud joyous laugh that quickly turned into a deep moan of pleasure.

Finally fully seated, Sam paused, relaxing against Gabriel and allowing them both the movement of connection. Gabriel brushed Sam's long dampening hair from his face, combing his fingers through it slowly and pulling his head down into a leisurely kiss.

Then Sam was moving, withdrawing almost all the way free before sweeping back in, his mouth never leaving Gabriel's.

As the pace grew, the kiss was forgotten and the pair found themselves just breathing into one another's mouths. When Sam's rhythm become frantic and desperate, Gabriel's head rolled back against the mattress, babbling nonsense. Panting and clawing at Sam's arms and back, his legs tight around his young lover. Sam hung his head, watching as the smaller man's body swallowed him, breathing heavily. His muscles straining as he held his upper body aloft while sharply snapping his pelvis. He watched transfixed when Gabriel slid his hand between them and began to pump his own swollen cock frantically.

It didn't take much longer before Gabriel was spilling between them, his semen coating both their abdomen. The man's orgasm quickened Sam's, and with only three more deep thrusts, Sam's whole body tensed and he came with a loud primal yell of ecstasy.

The room was think with sexual heat and a fog of musk, the only sound the heavy breathing of the two men. Sam extracted himself from his lover and collapsed beside him, his eyes closed as he came down from the high, a hoarse laugh breaking the long silence. "Never gets old." he grinned.

"Hmm." Gabriel agreed, his own body relaxed and boneless.

They were silent again for another few minutes, until Sam broke it. "I bet the men of letters are spinning in their graves."

Gabriel cracked open an eye and turned to look at the flushed hunter. "Huh?"

"After that little demonstration."

Gabriel rolled his eyes dramatically, turning onto his side with a wince. "Sammy, Sammy, Sammy." he tutted. "Really? Believe me no one knows how to cover up a same-sex affair like a secret society." he smirked.

Sam turned to meet Gabriel's warm amber gaze, disturbed by the thought.

"I don't mean your grandfather." Gabriel snorted. "But the guys that was in charge of this place." he winked. "James and Peter." he added thoughtfully. "Nice guys."

"How you know?" Sam asked disbelievingly.

Gabriel raised a brow. "I've been around." he shrugged. "Met a lot of people."

Sam narrowed his eyes at the ex-archangel. "Meaning?"

"We may have crossed paths."

Sam shifted, lifting himself up on his elbow to stare at the man. "How exactly, did you _cross_ _paths_?"

Gabriel chuckled. "Are you...jealous?"

"No!" Sam quickly denied. "Don't be ridiculous. I'm just curious as to how you know they were having an affair."

Gabriel narrowed his eyes, the corner of his mouth turning up. "So if I said that I know from personal experience, that'll mean nothing to you."

"Personal? How personal?" Sam demanded, ton hardening.

Gabriel laughed, moving closer so as to run his hand up and down the hunter's chest. "About as personal as it can get."

Sam dragged air in through his nose, jaw ticking an irritated beat.

Gabriel laughed, rolling away onto his back. "Calm down Sammy-kins, don't burst a blood vessel. I didn't fuck them." he shot the younger man a side long look. "Come on Sam, it makes logical sense, doesn't it. Two viral men locked up in this place all hours of the day and night, nothing to do but...read. It's not like you can bring girls back. - It was just James and Peter, all alone, hour after hour, day after day." he turned back to the hunter, voice low and seductive. "You know what can happen."

Hadn't that been how they'd started, Sam thought. Close quarters, nothing much else to do but find comfort and distraction in are another.

 

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

Dean exited the room he'd claimed with a weary sigh. He'd taken a few minutes to down a couple of _Tyrol_ , hoping to dispel the pounding in his head. It had been haunting him since the previous afternoon, between his disagreements with Sam, the revelation of the trails and now with Gabriel taking a more permanent place in his life, his head just couldn't deal with it all.

Once upon a time he'd have called Cas to talk, now...well, now things were stained between them too. He contemplated calling Benny instead, he even tugged his phone from his pocket and pulled up the contact info, but for some reason he couldn't make the call. Not now.

He turned to make his way towards Sam's room. They had a car to unload and if his kid brother thought he was going to haul that shit in on his own, he had another thing coming. Dean reached for the door handle out of instinct and habit, privacy had never been an issue for either of them.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

Dean startled, turning to see Claire, shoulder pressed to the door frame, arms folded and with a bright mischievous smirk on her face. "Huh?"

"Sam's been gone for a week, they had a fight and Da...Gabe almost died, believe me, they'll be at it like rabbits for hours."

Dean snatched his hand back as if burnt, grimacing at the thought of what was going on behind the closed door.

A loud moan had him quickly retreating from the space, deciding that hauling their shit in from the car was better than listening to...that. He turned sharply and marched almost furiously away. He could hear footsteps behind him and knew they belonged to Claire, but he didn't acknowledge her or slow down for her.

"You know I get you're pissed at him."

Dean didn't reply, just kept on walking.

"I mean, I know what he did. The deaths he's caused. Trapping Sam in that Groundhog Day parody where he killed you over and over and over. TV land."

They were outside finally and Dean yanked open the truck, breathing deeply as the teenager brought up the past.

"Coming to save you when those Gods where ready to hand you over as a bargaining chip. - You know, dying for you. For _us_."

Dean turned his head sharply to glare at the girl. "He didn't do that for us, he did it for his girlfriend. To save _her_."

Claire stared at him, her arms folded. "OMG seriously?"

"Yes, seriously." Dean huffed, satisfied to dissuade her from her delusion that Gabriel was actually a good guy.

"No, I mean are you _serious_? You seriously believe _that_?"

Dean looked at her, brows creased in a frown.

Claire shook her head, laughing coldly. "So going through all those Tuesday's was for Kali's benefit?"

Dean just watched her, confused.

"Please. I've heard that story from both sides now, I've read...well everything." she blushed, dropping her gaze. "And I've watched them together, he did all that for Sam - Just like Cas..." she swallowed thickly, her voice breaking for a moment, "D-did for you." she finished quietly.

Dean growled. "Listen Kid, you don't have a goddamn clue what you're talking about! I get it, you're all for team Gabriel. He's all you've got now, but don't think you _know_ anything!"

Claire straightened angrily, her blue eyes turning to steel as they met Dean's unflinchingly. She stepped forward into Dean's personal space and he fought the urge to step back. Dean held his breath, waiting for the come back, but it never came. Instead Claire gave him a shove and reached into the truck, snagging a large duffle bag, her muscles straining. Then she turned and walked away from him.

Dean had to admit he was impressed. Turning he grabbed the last two bags and a box of books, she'd insisted on bring. Glancing down at the box Dean caught the supernatural novel peeking out beneath a large bible, he frowned and exhaled. Shaking his head, he balanced the box on his knee while he slammed the truck closed. Jostling the box in his arms, Dean headed back into the bunker.

He was half way down the iron stars when Claire rushed up to meet him, taking the box from his arms, still not a word passing her lips. She led the way into the library section, where she placed the box on the table and waited. Dean dropped both bags on the end of another table and leant back against it, waiting the teenager riffle through the books, tugging them free and setting them aside in separate piles.

Sensing his watchful gaze, she twisted her head and shot him a hard look. "What?"

"Nothing." Dean grunted, shrugging a shoulder and pushing himself off the table top. He marched around the room, looking at the shelves. He tugged at a couple of dust covered books and sneezed.

"Bless you." Claire grunted, another book hitting the pile with a loud bang.

"Thanks." he sniffled, rubbing his sleeve beneath his nose.

They feel silent for a long few seconds before Claire exhaled a long aggravated breath. "You know what I don't get?" she announced.

Dean turned to find her watching him intensely, her lips a thin line. There was something in that look that was eerily familiar. It reminding him far too much of Cas, the old Cas. The Cas that never took his shit, and it made his chest ache. "What?" he replied thickly.

"How you can spend all those years wanting Sam to be happy, and now he is, all you do is try to ruin it."

Dean stiffened, inhaling sharply. "Happy?" he scoffed.

Claire narrowed her eyes, the blue seeming to glow. "Yes, Dean. Happy."

Dean couldn't stop the unamused laugh escaping him, disbelieving. "It's a phase."

"A phase?" she growled, stepping closer. "Is that what you think? You think it's a phase."

Dean swallowed, discomforted by the way her eyes seemed to look straight through him. As if she was reading his mind.

"It's not a phase, Dean. - Not for either of you." she snapped, voice lowering.

Clearing his throat, Dean snagged one of the duffle bags and marched quickly away from the teenager.

"And maybe if you didn't keep running away, you'd see that!" Claire yelled angrily after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> James and Peter are the men of letters from season 9, who face off against the Wicked Witch. I can't help but ship them. :)


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life at the bunker begins, but with Gabriel and Dean forced to share close quarters, how long will it be until Sam loses it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry that it has taken me so long to post, life has been chaos at the moment. I hope you enjoy this, and I swear I’ll try not to leave you hanging like this again.

"I'm starving." Gabriel grumbled into Sam's shoulder.

 

In reply Sam's stomach rumbled causing the ex-archangel to laugh and roll off the bed, going in search of his clothes. "I doubt there's anything edible in this place." Sam muttered drowsily.

 

"So we snag the keys to Dean's precious tin can and go out, get take out?"

 

As if reading Gabriel's mind, Sam's phone began to chime. "Can you." Sam asked from the comfort of the bed. "Jeans." He nodded at the pile of fabric.

 

"What did your last slave die of?" The man huffed, even as he pulled the cell out of the worn blue denim, glancing at the screen.

 

"Exhaustion." Sam replied seductively, his gaze heavy hot on Gabriel as the ex-archangel tossed the phone at him.

 

"Speak of the devil."

 

Sam opened the message and sighed, falling back against the stale covers. "He's gone for a drink."

 

"So no trip to the nearest 7/11 then." Gabriel huffed tiredly, pulling his T-shirt into place over his crusty stomach. "I really need a shower."

 

"Hmm." Sam nodded, staring at the message, before tossing the phone on the nightstand and getting up. "Let's go find the bathroom, then we'll figure out what to do about food." He hurriedly stepped into his underwear and T-shirt, and marched to the door. "Dean at least left us our bags." He murmured.

 

"Small mercy, I guess." Gabriel laughed humourlessly, settling under Sam's warm arm, as it made itself comfortable across his shoulders.

 

Leaving their room, they almost tripped over their bags. Sam bent, retrieving them and carrying them into the bedroom. Dumping them on the bed, Sam and Gabriel riffled though them for their wash bags.

 

With their small bags and fresh clothes, they headed for the room across the hall, peering in to watch Claire making herself at home. She gave him a smile and a knowing look.

 

"You okay?" Sam asked, his gaze scanning the room, identical to the one he and Gabriel chose.

 

"I'm fine. Dean's gone..."

 

"We know, he messaged me." Sam clarified.

 

"You found any food?" Gabriel asked.

 

Claire rolled her eyes at him. "Not as yet. Told you we should have stopped at that gas station."

 

Gabriel scoffed. "Yeah, yeah." He waved off.

 

"The bathroom is down the corridor, turn right. It’s the first door on the left." Her nose wrinkled, looking between the pair.

 

Sam flushed. "Thanks."

 

Claire's laugh followed the pair out of the room.

 

 

Together they headed in the direction Claire had given, finding the room easily. Sam pushed the door open to find a large room, the air predictably stale, but warm. The fluorescent light overhead giving off a warm glow.

 

"Well this homely." Gabriel remarked, stepping past Sam into the room, looking around at the dust coated tiles and basin. "This is going to need a thorough disinfecting."

 

"Yeah." Sam agreed, heading over the shower, pulling back the curtain. The shower stall itself wasn't so bad, Sam had envisioned layers of mould and dirt.

 

Gabriel peered over his shoulder. "Well that's... Not as gross as it could have been." He reached over and twisted the nozzle. The pipes rumbled loudly before a sudden burst of water exploded from the shower head.

 

They watched the layer of dirt on the bottom of the stale wash away, the darkened water swirling around the drain.

 

"Pressure looks good." Gabriel commented. "Shouldn't take me too long to clean." he sighed, turning away.

 

"You to clean?" Sam frowned, turning too. He strolled over to where Gabriel was stripping out of his shirt.

 

Gabriel looked up at him once he was free, brow quirked high. "I was a janitor, I faced worse than that every day."

 

Sam scoffed, reaching for the hem of his own shirt. "You were a janitor for what, a month? And you had...mojo. I doubt you got your hands dirty." he rolled his eyes, tossing the t-shirt on the small pile Gabriel had created at their feet.

 

Gabriel glared at him, the reminder of his lost power cutting deep, then turned sharply to march furiously towards the shower stall. Sam closed his eyes and mentally kicked himself. "Gabe, I..."

 

"Forget it." Gabriel grunted as he slipped behind the curtain. "You're right," he called over the sound of the water. "Because it was my mojo that scrubbed the house clean and mended the back porch, and leaking roof, and blocked toilet, while you were off saving the world!"

 

Sam inhaled deeply through his nose, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. Why was he always doing that? Putting his foot in his mouth about Gabriel seemed to be a damn hobby. How was it possibly he was able to blurt out shit Gabriel didn't want to hear, but couldn't say the words he obviously did. The words that may just set his mind at ease, and solidify that wobbly bridge between them.

 

He walked slowly over to the shower, cautiously pulling back the curtain and stepping inside. Gabriel didn't so much as acknowledge his existence, too busy pouring shower gel across his chest and scrubbing at the mess on his stomach. Sam swept his hands across the backs of the man's shoulders, massaging the muscles gently. "I know, and you did a wonderful job, Ga..."

 

"Don't patronize me, Winchester." Gabriel growled, shaking off the hands.

 

"I didn't mean anything by it." Sam defended loudly, grabbing the ex-angels shoulders, and turning him forcibly around.

 

"I don't give a shit." Gabriel spat, water rolling down his face.

 

Sam narrowed his gaze at the shorter man, taking a step closer. He let the hands on Gabriel's shoulders slid slowly down his arms, then back up. Another step closer and they were almost chest to chest. Sam bowed, his hands slipping even lower to kneed the older man's ass, while Sam's lips brushed across Gabriel's earlobe. "I'm soooo sorry." he whispered, then dipped his mouth to suck at the ex-archangels neck.

 

"D-don't think that's gonnaahhh." Gabriel moaned as Sam's fingers slid between the cleft of his ass, pressing teasingly at the man's tender and sensitive hole. "I fuc-kin' h-hate you w-Winchester." he breathed, twisting his hand to captures the hunter's lips.

 

Gabriel stumbled backwards, his back hitting the cold tiles, but he was too lost in Sam's kiss to care about the chill. Their moans echoed off the tiled walls. Sam bent as his knees, his hands sliding down the ex-archangel's thighs to hoist him up.

 

"Fuck." Gabriel panted, his head falling back against the wall, his hips pressing his erections into Sam's stomach, while Sam's easing slowly into him. "You're f-forgiven."

 

Sam grinned against his temple, as he began to thrust.

 

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

 

After their showered, the pair dressed in fresh clothes and made their way through the bunker, opening doors to check rooms as they went. Between their room and the bathroom, were more bedrooms and two large closets. One filled with cleaning supplies and another stacked with fresh lining, well as fresh as anything can be after almost seventy years.

 

"There has to be a laundry room around her somewhere?" Gabriel said as he pulled out sheets and kicked the door closed.

 

They continued on, back to their room in silence. Sam dumped the pile of dirty clothes unceremoniously on the leather couch, taking a seat next to it while Gabriel place the sheets on the desk before heading for the rumpled remains of the bed. Sam watched him pull the dirty blankets, tossing them to the floor one on top of another.

 

"Want help?" Sam asked after a few minutes of silent appreciation.

 

"You can go see if there's anything slightly edible in this place." Gabriel grunted as he yanked off the bottom sheet.

 

Sam sighed wearily, pushing himself off the couch. "Okay, came find me when you're done."

 

Gabriel didn't reply, too focused on his task.

 

While Sam went in search of dinner, continuing to check in on rooms, Gabriel made the bed, wincing at the pain in his side and back. Having sex with an overzealous boyfriend mere hours after almost becoming a hell-hounds doggy treat hadn't been his best idea, he knew. He ached all over, both in good and bad ways. At least the stitches Sam had put into his side and shoulder had held up.

 

It had been a long time since he'd had to sit and watch Sam put him back together again. They'd shared their first kiss that last time. - It was hard to believe how far they'd come since that night. How far he'd come.

 

Folding back the pale blue comforter, Gabriel straightened, rolling his neck. He glanced over to the bags, then around the room, his hand rubbing aimlessly at his shoulder. Inhaling slowly he brushed of the thoughts of unpacking, turning instead to leave the room. Instead of going in search of Sam, he padded barefoot across the corridor, knocking sharply on Claire's door.

 

"Come in!"

 

Gabriel grinned as he entered to find the teenager sat on the large bed, her legs folded, and a folder open in front of her. "What you doing?"

 

"Homework." Claire relied, not bothering to look up.

 

Gabriel stared at her sadly, moving to take a seat at the end of the bed. "You know, you don't have to do that." he muttered.

 

Finally Claire raised her eyes to meet his gaze. "I know." she sighed. "It just gives me something to do." she shrugged nonchalantly.

 

"There's a whole library out there..." he smirked. “You could be geeking out with Sam." he laughed.

 

Claire's lips curled slightly. "I'd rather not be out there with...him."

 

"Him? - Dean?"

 

Claire nodded, turning back to her papers.

 

Gabriel narrowed his gaze at her. "What did he do now? Did he say something?" he demanded angrily.

 

"No." Claire murmured, shaking her head. "He didn't _say_ anything. - He's.... It’s his attitude. He hates...you."

 

"He doesn't hate me." Gabriel forced a smile. "He just doesn't like me very much."

 

"He hates you." she insists. "And he hates that you and Sam are together."

 

Gabriel sighed, there was just no fooling his girl. "Okay, he does, but that's....it's complicated, kiddo. Dean has his own...issues and he's taking it out on me."

 

"Cas?" Claire whispered.

 

"Yeah." Gabriel nodded, regretfully.

 

 

The pair fell silent, Claire's pen hovering over the page as Gabriel stared down at his feet, nothing laying between them but air. The silence so thick it was almost physical weight on both their shoulders. Gabriel startled when Claire shattered it, her voice so quiet it was barely audible.

 

"You're not gonna let him break you guys up, right?"

 

Gabriel looked at his adopted daughter. That's what she'd become to him over the past couple of years. "What? No!" he shook his head, though he couldn't quite believe the words, but it was out of his hands. If Dean pushed Sam hard enough, the younger Winchester could very well buckle under the pressure. - But Gabriel had no intention of giving the stubborn Sasquatch up without a fight. "What makes you think...? No."

 

Claire met his gaze and Gabriel's heart tightened at the gleam of tears n them. "I know....what Dean's like. How pig-headed, possessive and domineering he can be, especially towards Sam. - You're the only family I have, Gabriel, I don't want to lose you too."

 

Gabriel shifted quickly across the bed, pulling the teenager into a tight hug, his face buried in her soft blond locks. Hushing her, rocking her. "Hey, you're not going to lose me... Or Sammy. No matter what happens, kiddo. You're our girl now." he pressed a lingering kiss to her temple, closing his eyes to savour the scent; hoping and praying he could keep that promise.

 

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

"Morning."

 

Sam looked up from the pile of books and papers spread out in front of him. He hadn't even been aware that Dean was back, but then he hadn't been aware of much of anything since he started searching the men of letters papers, trying to figure out the bunkers inner workings. He'd been at it since before dawn, when he'd woken up in the unfamiliar bed, not that it was uncommon with their lifestyle, but since settling down he always had trouble sleeping when away from the warmth of Gabriel's body next to him. - He wasn't sure what had caused him to wake, except perhaps curiosity and eagerness to discover the secrets of his legacy. "Morning. What time did you get back?" he asked casually, flicking a page in a thick binder.

 

"I don't know..." Dean shrugged. "Just before dawn."

 

Sam's gaze flickered up to him for a brief moment before going back to the table top.

 

Dean moved towards the table, his eyes flickering to what Sam was studying. "The water pressure in this letter's shower room is marvellous." he announced.

 

"Yeah." Sam smirked at the page, the memory of having Gabriel in the shower the previous evening. He doubted Dean would want to know that, despite the temptation to tell him, but he really wasn't' in the mood of another argument. "I still can't figure out how we even have water, or electricity." he pushed his chair away and marched over to one of the shelves.

 

Dean shrugged as he admired a scimitar that was being displayed. "Yeah well, I am putting that under the ‘ain't broke’ column. Listen little brother..."

 

Sam glanced over at him with narrowed eyes; that was Dean's patronizing tone. He only called him little brother when he was about to try and order him around, or break bad news. Sam watched and waited.

 

"Let’s not go all geek on this stuff, okay?"

 

Sam sighed, walking back to the table. "Geek?" he scoffed over his shoulder.

 

"Yeah, yeah. I mean, don't get me wrong, this stuff is awesome." he reassured, lifting the sword from its stand and swinging it a few times. "Huh, and it looks like they ran a real tight outfit here, but I'm just saying, you know, don't think that they knew some big secrets that we don't know."

 

Sam stared at is brother, bewildered by the man's stupidity. He rolled his eyes. "Dean, they were a secret society."

 

"Which means that they made crap up, and wore fezzes and sashes...and swung around scimitars, they probably don't even sharpen..." he dragged his thumb across the blade and winced, "It's very sharp."

 

Sam scoffed, shaking his head as Dean put the sword back in the cradle. "Dean, look, I think we might have something here. Something that could help us, help humanity. Henry certainly thought so. - I mean, you know damn well we could use a break. What if we finally got one?" he stated earnestly, his eyes meeting Dean's almost pleadingly. Inhaling slowly thought his nose, Sam went back to the plans. "You gonna take off the dead guy robe?"

 

"Oh please, don't." A voice interrupted from the corridor. "So the cat finally threw you up. Enjoy your evening with the local skanks? What time did you finally get in?"

 

Dean turned to glare at Gabriel, watching as he carried two mugs to the table Sam was sat at. "Blow me."

 

Gabriel wrinkled his nose. "No thanks, I have more than enough Winchester to fill my mouth as it is." he taunted, running his fingers through Sam's hair with a seductive smirk. "Maybe you could call my baby bro to help you with that. - Or go back to which ever cheap motel room you left..."

 

"Gabriel, shut up." Sam growled, looking between his lover and his brother, Dean's face a dangerous shade of red.

 

"No, please, carry on." Dean growled. "Give me a reason to knock that smug grin off your face. You're not untouchable now, _Gabe_." he sneered.

 

Sam sighed warily, so tired of the constant battle between Dean and Gabriel. Tired of being trapped between them. "Dean, please just..."

 

"Bring it on Winchester." Gabriel grunted, putting his mug on the table and taking a step closer to the older hunter.

 

Dean laughed as he moved to meet him, his fingers curling into a fist and his feet planted, ready to attack.

 

Sam quickly shoved his way between them, pushing at both their chests. "Enough! I've had enough!" he warned.

 

"Just keep out of my face." Dean threatened, "And keep your..." he glanced between them. "Stuff in your room."

 

"Fuck you, Dean-o." Gabriel spat. "This is our home now, thanks to you, and if I want to bend your baby brother over every god-damn surface in this place and fuck him black and blue, I god-damn will!"

 

"Gabriel!" Sam yelled, his face red and his dick twitching despite his anger. When he glanced back at Dean, his brother was pale.

 

Dean dived forward, intent on getting to the ex-angel, his fist raised. Sam stepped protective in front of Gabriel and held his arm to ward off his brother.

 

"Let him try Sammy." Gabriel scoffed, as Sam backed Dean up, his hands pressed to Dean's shoulder.

 

"Shut up, Gabriel!" he yelled. "Stop antagonising him, now, or have you forgotten you're human now!" he stated meaningfully before looking back to Dean. "And you, he's right, this is our home now and if you think we're going to hid away in our room so we don't hurt your delicate sensibilities, well you're dead wrong, Dean. I've had to watch you flirt, making out and fuck half the female population of America, you'll just have to deal with me kissing my boyfriend. - Besides, you're the one who wanted him to take on the trials, so suck it up and get off our backs!"

 

Dean glared at him angrily, his fists still a clenched tight. He growled low in his throat and shook off Sam's hold, turning to leave, his feet slapping the polished floor violently.

 

Sam watched his brother leave and dragged his hand thought his hair in frustration, taking a long deep calming breath before turning to face Gabriel. "You need to quit it."

 

"Me?" Gabriel scoffed, his brows tightly knitted.

 

"Yes, _you_. Stopped pushing his buttons. I know he can be a jerk and I know he's been giving you a hard time since he found out about us, but I'm asking you to let it go. Whatever he says to you, just let it go, cause while you keep pushing and rubbing the salt in about Cas." he growled. "He's never going to accept you. - Or us."

 

"He'll never accept us anyway, Sammy. He just thinks this..." Gabriel waved between them. "...is some phase you're going through. That you're with me because I'm convenient! That you'll _never_ love me, not the way you loved her!" Gabriel inhaled shapely as he realised what he'd said. He turned away quickly, grabbing his mug and vanishing before the shock wore off.

 

Sam stared at the empty space in front of him, Gabriel's words rolling around in his head, the echo of hurt, fear and resignation ringing in his ears. What that what they really thought? He frowned, running his hand though his hair with a regretful sigh. _Why wouldn't they think that? Why would_ he _think that?_ It wasn't as if Sam had said or done anything to make his feelings clear. He swallowed the sudden lump in his throat, reaching for his chair and crumpling into it, his head dropping into his hands.

 

The thing was he couldn't tell them. He could barely admit it to himself most of the time. Every time he tried, the words got lodged, making it hard to breath, to think. _Every time_ the words so much as crossed his mind, he saw fire and blood. - He was scared, scared to go through that all again. It had been why he'd fought so long against the attraction, because opening up to someone again would lead to more pain, more fire and death. He couldn't', he wasn't ready to peel back that Band-Aid and risk the wound. - Especially now.

 

"Sam?"

 

He looked up to see Claire and Riot both staring at him, sadness and concern in both their eyes. "Hey, where you guys been?"

 

Claire shrugged. "Exploring. - What's going on?"

 

Sam heard the anger tainting her voice. "Nothing, it's fine. - What you find?" he asked, hoping to distract them from the cloud of tension still hovering over the room.

 

Claire shot him a tight smile. "The garage."

 

"Huh?" Sam frowned.

 

"It's huge. It’s got a dozen cars just hanging around. You want to see?"

 

Sam pushing himself out of his seat, nodding. "Yeah."

 

He'd deal with Gabriel and Dean later, let them calm down, and let the storm settle. Right now, for possibly the first time in his life, he was more interested in cars.

 

 

**___What's Doesn't Kill You___**

 

 

Gabriel dropped back against the mattress, swearing at the ceiling. He couldn't believe he'd said that. Confessed Dean's words to him after weeks of keeping it to himself. - He dragged his hands thought his hair and growled at himself. What had made it so much worse was the sound of his voice; pathetic, desperate for reassurance. Reassurance that hadn't come.

 

Did he really think Sam was using him like Dean had said? Honestly, yes. A part of him did believe that, but then hadn't he used Sam too? At the beginning. He'd been lost and scared, flooded with emotions. So intense he'd almost drowned beneath the torrent. He'd grabbed onto the nearest life preserver and held on, praying for rescue. - And maybe he'd held on too tight or for too long before those feelings of security and....whatever else you wanted to call it, became so deeply imbedded that it was a part of him. So easily swallowing him whole.

 

He'd tried to fight it at the beginning, then when he'd seen the pain it was putting Sam though, he'd fought against the tide and finally let go. He'd almost drowned as a result. He hadn't expected Sam to come back. Hoped, prayed, but never really expect it. Maybe that was why when he did, when he took that first step into their relationship, Gabriel hadn't allowed himself to hold on too tight, always waiting for him to slip away again.

 

Maybe that was why Dean's words had cut so deep, because he knew they were time. Sam didn't love him, _couldn't_ love him. He was just a way to keep afloat, to hold off the almost overpowering tide of fury and darkness that made up the Winchesters lives. He wasn't her, Jessica. He wasn't the one Sam would chose to spend the rest of his life with. He was just the guy, the body, which offered Sam shelter and sanctuary. Sam may come for him but he could never love him.

 

Gabriel swallowed the pain of that truth and rolled onto his side, dragging the pillow to his face, inhaling slowly and wincing at Sam's lingering scent. His throat convulsively thickly as his eyes began to sting, forcing him to close them tight.

 

Maybe this was his father's punishment, his own just deserts. I have to get my spiteful streak from somewhere. He contemplated miserably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me, I really appreciate it. Feedback is always welcome and valued.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its been so long

Claire followed Sam up the final flight of stairs. She watched his back and heard his gasp of surprise as he took the last step into the garage, easily imagining the surprise on his face.

"Dean's going to flip his shit when he sees this." Sam said with awe, heading directly over to the dusty vehicles, lifting the hood of a classic 1950's Chevy.

Claire gritted her teeth at the mention of the other hunter, her fingers curling into a fist at her side. She may not have been in the room but it didn't take a genius to know there'd been another fight, especially when she'd passed Gabe in the hall just outside the library, and she'd felt save putting her money on Dean starting it.

She'd tried to be friendly and understanding, she'd tried to accept him as a pseudo uncle, but the more he made everyone uncomfortable, the more fights he, Sam and Gabe had, the harder it became. - And her own conflicting emotions only added fuel to the fire of her anger.

She'd known this had been a mistake, it was only going to end with arguments and she feared what that would mean for her new found family, but Sam had insisted for their own safety. - Now she wished she'd put up more of a fight. "I want to go home." She heard herself say, inhaling slowly and fixing her gaze to her trainers.

The place was silent for a long moment before Sam finally spoke. "What?"

"I... I said I want to go home." She glanced over at him briefly then dropped her gaze and began to swing her feet Riot sat beside them.

Sam took a deep breath. "If this is because of Isaac..."

"It's not Isaac. We broke up months ago." she informed him nonchalantly.

"You did? When?"

"After Moondoor." She muttered. "He didn't want to have to keep covering for Me." she sighted regretfully. "I think Dad said something."

Sam didn't say anything for a few seconds and Claire heard the sand of the hood closing, leaning back against it. She still didn't look up from her feet. "Is it school? Cause we can..."

"It's not school." she breathed wearily. "It's him. He doesn't want us her, we don't want to be here!"

Sam sighed, dragging his fingers through his hair. "Dean just needs time to get used to it."

"Time!" Claire snapped loudly, meeting his gaze furiously. "How much more time does he want? It's already been months and all he's done is make everyone miserable!" she spat. "I don't want him destroying my family. - _Again_."

"What?"

"He already took my real family, I can't lose you guys too. You're all I have." She sniffled angrily.

"Claire, Dean isn't responsible for what happened to..."

"Yes! Yes he is!" she shouted, glaring at him. "If he'd stayed dead, dad would have still been at home! I wouldn't have had to listen to him and Mom yelling at each other. They didn't think I heard them but I did. - Just like I hear you and Gabe! - I wouldn't have had to watch him walk away and listen to Mom crying every night."

Sam pushed himself off the car, marching hurriedly over to her and cupping her wet tear stained face. "Claire, that wasn't Dean's fault. He didn't ask to come back, you can't blame him for that." he insisted softly.

"He made that deal!" she reminded him coldly.

Sam inhaled slowly, torn between agreeing with her and defending his brother. "If he hadn't, I wouldn't be here."

"But my Mom and Dad would." she snapped, then stiffened at the guilt that flooded through him. "Oh, Sam, I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't' mean that, I don't wish you were dead, I just..." she swallowed thickly. "I miss them." she whispered brokenly, sobbing.

Sam pulled her into his arms, pressing his lips to her temple. "I know. I know. - It never goes away. "He whispered understandingly, rocking her back and forth, her arms tight about him. "And if I could change the past I would."

Claire cried into his shoulder, her arms tight around his back, scared to let go. She bit back the acid taste of unspoken words. They could bring her family back, all they needed to do was make a deal.

They lost track of time, just standing there, embracing. The only sound in the room was Claire's slowly weakening sobs, and Riot's broken sympathetic whine. Sniffling one final time, Claire pulled herself out of Sam's hold and gave him a shaky smile. "Sorry."

"Its fine, really." he whispered, brushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "Things are tense right now, it's going to take time to get used to us living together."

"I don't think Dean wants to get used to it. He doesn't want us here. He hates us." Claire shook her head. Her tone tired.

"He doesn't hate you." Sam insisted firmly.

"No, just Gabriel."

Sam opened his month to argue but knew he couldn't. "How about we take one of these cars for a spin? We need groceries."

Claire looked over at the cars. "Are they legal?"

Sam shrugged, smiling. "What's one more broken law." he scoffed. "We'll just take a trip to the nearest store and grab supplies, as long as we don't drive like the town drunk, we shouldn't get pulled over. - I'll deal with the paper work later."

Claire looked between the cars and Sam, then slowly nodded. "Okay."

"Go wash you face and grab Riot's lead, I'll hunt down the keys and let Gabe and Dean know."

 

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

Dean stared at Sam's text, his phone cradled between his palms. It may as well have been ice for all the warm the words held, though he couldn't have really expected anything else, could he? Not after what had been said.

Sam was right, of course. Wasn't he always? He couldn't seriously expect the pair to hide away, not if they intended to stay here. It was just hard, is all, seeing them like that. Together. So care free and unafraid. As if it were perfectly natural to be shacking up with an archangel.

Part of Dean wanted to be happy, it really did. Sam's happiness was something that had always been important to him, though he knew it hadn't always seemed that way. He'd just feared it was all. Feared losing Sam, just has he'd done when he went off to college.

When he'd told Gabriel it was just a phase, which Sam would get over. That it was Sam's way of dealing with the loneliness and pain, he'd honestly believed that, because people did foolish stuff when alone and desperate. When they were cut off from the world and those who held them to account. Those they cared about. People made choices they wouldn't ordinarily make. Do things they wouldn't ordinarily do. - Things that had to be buried in that deep dark corner of people's souls were forbidden desires and wants are hidden, locked away, never to be unleashed for fear of the destruction and outrage they might cause.

That's what Dean had thought it had been for Sam. Or maybe, it's what he'd wanted it to be, so he wasn't alone in that either. So he wasn't the only son carrying the invisible weight of their father's shame. - However the more he watched them together, the more he realised how wrong he was. Sam didn't feel ashamed of who he was, or who he wanted. He wasn't carrying their father's disapproval on his shoulders. Sam was genuinely happy with Gabriel.

And it was like a kick in the gut every time he saw them together, reminding him over and over what he couldn't have. What had been denied to him for so many years? First by their father then by himself.

Dean blinked down at the phone, realising his thumb was hovering Benny's name, taunting him, whispering to him, the way it had in Purgatory. He swallowed thickly, hoping to dislodge his racing heart.

When his thumb touched the screen, it was to scroll down, past Benny, past Cass, to Sam.

**Message: SAM 1/30/2014 3:15pm**

**Going to check in with Garth and Kevin, see you in a couple of days.**

He didn't bother waiting for a reply, shoving the cell back into his pocket. Dean grabbed his duffle off the small leather couch by the door and marched out of the room. He needed air, and time, to get himself together. Just a few days.

 

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

Sam backed the car into the parking spot with a relaxed smile. It had been the right decision to get out for a while, he'd had precious little real bonding time with Claire, and he'd quickly realized, something he was determined to change.

He watched her scurry back to the vehicle from the garage door, her whole posture at ease, at least for now. He wondered if that had anything to do with Dean leaving for a few days. He hated that it probably was.

After climbing out of the car, Sam followed after Claire as she made for the trunk. She already had it open and was grabbing the bags when Sam saddled up beside her, reaching for two more.

"Let's get these to the kitchen and I'll come back for the others." he smiled, leaving the trunk open.

Together they slowly made their way through the corridors of the bunker, chatting ideally about the town and Claire's finale few months of high school. They'd driven past the local school on their way to the grocery store. It was a little bigger than the one she'd attended up north.

Sam dropped his bags on the counter and rolled his shoulders. "You unpack, I'll go find Gabe to help with the other bags."

Claire nodded, already tearing open on of the bags so its contents spilled over the counter. Smiling to himself, Sam headed for the corridor, turning away from the direction they'd just come from. It was probably going to take a while to get used to all the twists and turns, Sam thought as he took a corner, only to have to back track.

Finally he reached the rooms but found it empty. Frowning, he turned to head towards the library area, his hands casually buried in his pockets, his gaze flickering around despite there being nothing to really look at. He couldn't wait to really get searching the place. The plans had given him a layout but what was actually hidden behind all the doors was still to be seen.

He felt like a kid in a candy store, buzzing with excitement, a welcome relief from the tension of everything else.

Stepping into the library, Sam's gaze instantly found Gabriel, passed out in one of the leather chairs. Smiling, he leant against the archway wall, just watching him for a few minutes. His heart ached with a pleasant warmth he hadn't felt in so long, it almost felt unfamiliar and new. Gabriel let out a little choked off snore, startling Sam slightly. Feeling somewhat like a stalker, standing there and just staring at them, he pushed himself off the wall and made his way over to the man.

As he got closer he caught sight of the crystal tumbler in his lap, a gleam of amber at its bottom, turning his head sharply, he found the sixty year old decanter almost empty and he groaned. It had been half full when he'd last look. Taking another step forward, Sam reached for the glass, setting it on the tray and crouching in front of his lover.

He could smell the whiskey rolling off the ex-archangel and sighed, running his hand down the man's face, praying this was a one-time thing. He'd seen how Dean got when he drank, and had the memories of his father, he didn't think he could handle being with someone who sort solace in a bottle. Shaking his head, he got to his feet, deciding to let Gabriel sleep it off, later they'll talk.

 

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

Gabriel groaned, wincing at the ache in his head and back. His tongue felt too big and it tasted like a sewer. He didn't think he'd drank that much, just a couple of small glasses. So how the hell could he possibly feel this bad? With a deep breath he pushed himself up straight, his eyes still closed. Another groan escaped him as his whole body protested the movement. What the hell?

"Serves you right for drinking half a bottle of whiskey on an empty stomach at twelve in the afternoon." a flat humourless voice announced.

Gabriel let out a loud moan and dropped his aching head into his hands, his elbows braced on his knees. "I - d-didn't think I'd drank so much."

"Well you did." Sam's tone was scolding.

Swallowing the thickness of his tongue, he lifted his head slowly, fighting to open his eyes and only managing one. What met that eye was a very unimpressed looking Sam, his body twisted so he was looking over the back of a chair, one arm resting on its back while the other lay on the table top. "Don't judge me." he breathed heavily. "It's not like you're a fucking paragon of sobriety yourself."

"I rarely drink enough to get drunk."

Gabriel snorted a laugh and instantly regretted it, grabbing his head tighter. "Fuck." he heard Sam sigh and then a rattling sound, the legs of Sam's chair scrapping the floor. "Shit, don't do that." he groaned weakly.

"Here."

Gabriel opened his eyes and raised his head to find Sam's hand directly in his line of sight, two small pills in his palm. "God, I love you." he murmured, reaching for them quickly, then for the water Sam was holding.

Throwing them back and gulping down the water, Gabriel dropped back, slouching into the chair, his eyes closed once more as he waited patiently for the pain to recede.

"So... I'm guessing this is all about Dean?"

Gabriel scoffed quietly, not wanting to upset his aching head. "Where's Claire?" he asked, swiftly avoiding the subject.

"Kitchen. I think. Or exploring some more." Sam shrugged, pulling out a chair and taking a seat.

"You shouldn't let her just wonder around, we have no idea what's in this place." Gabriel scolded.

"Aren't you always telling me how smart she is? She knows to come get me if she finds anything. - Dean's gone, by the way."

Gabriel's eyes shot open once more.

"He'll be back in a few days." he clarified, seeing the hope in his lover's bloodshot amber eyes. "He's gone to check on Kevin and fill Garth in on..." he shrugged. "Everything, I guess."

"So we - _I_ have a few days grace before the abuse starts again?" he muttered, dropping his head back once more.

Sam sighed, dragging his hand over his face and neck. "I'll talk to him when he gets back, tell him to lay off. - But you have to quit it too, Gabe. No more taunting him. "

Gabriel flicked his hand nonchalantly. "Whatever."

"I'm serious. He's never going to give you a chance if you keep goading him. Especially about Cass."

They sat in a thick silence for a few minutes, Gabriel allowing the quiet to ease him back to sleep and away from the pounding in his head. He was almost there when Sam yanked him back but announcing. "It's not true."

Gabriel reluctantly cracked open an eye. "Huh?" he asked lazily, confused.

"What Dean said. - About using you," Sam shook his head, holding Gabriel's gaze, hopefully. "I'm not here, with you, because you're a convenience or because I'm going through some kind of phase or emotional trauma." he insisted, leaning forward to rest his hands on Gabriel's knees, squeezing them gently. "I'm here because I want to be. - Because I... Like you. I care about you." he paused, letting the words sink in. "You need to believe that Gabe." he shifted forward a little more, to the very edge of the chair. "You have to accept it and stop waiting for me to run...again."

Gabriel swallowed thickly, licking at his lips. "Easier said than done, kiddo."

"I know. I made a mess of this at the beginning, I was scared and confused, okay, but I'm all in now. If I weren't I would have left with Dean when he asked me to. - You have to accept that I... _want_ you. I want _us_. If you don't, Dean never will."

Gabriel stared at him, throat aching from the emotional onslaught Sam had just inflicted. "You have..." he started, his voice hoarse. "...to understand Sammy, I'm not used to this. All these damn emotions swirling around in me. They're so overpowering, despite all my centuries among humans, I've never...felt anything like this. Never been..." he dropped his gaze, inhaling deeply and pressing his lips together tightly. "I went from hero to zero overnight," he continued, not looking at Sam. "And you're all I have to hold onto, and I know that's unhealthy, but hey, you Winchesters are the poster children for unhealthy." he scoffed humourlessly. "I also know I was pushy, am pushy, and that it's pathetic..."

"It's not pathetic, Gabe." Sam interrupted, hand reaching up to grip gently at his neck, thumb rubbing soothing circles.

"Yeah, it is." Gabriel dismissed. "But you're all I have now, Sam. You and Claire. - So maybe it's me that's using you" he sighed regretfully.

Sam pulled Gabriel closer, their foreheads touching. "Look, I know what being used is like." he whispered firmly, eyes closed. "I _know_ , and this is not you using me or me using you." he reassured. "It's just us being normal. Building something from the crumbling remains of our mutually fucked up lives."

Gabriel exhaled sadly, unconvinced by Sam's heated declaration.

"I'm serious Gabriel. Sure, okay, so back at the beginning maybe we used one another in some way, I needed...something to keep me going, keep me fighting and you needed something to..."

"The same." Gabriel whispered.

"That doesn't mean this can't work, that this isn't real, okay? Relationships start for all kinds of reasons, who's to say ours in any less valid than anyone elses?"

"Dean."

"Screw Dean. What does he knew about relationships? Huh? He spent a year with a woman because _I_ told him to, while blatantly, day to day ignoring the only _real_ relationship he's ever had. So let him say what he likes, he doesn't know jack about us, okay?"

Gabriel released a breathy broken laugh then sighed. "Sam..."

"No. - I don't want to hear any more, there's nothing you can say that'll change my mind."

Gabriel pulled back to stare at him. "Was everything Dean said a lie?" he asked meaningfully, surprised when Sam's back straightened.

"Yes." Sam confirmed sternly.

They stared at one another for a few moments before Gabriel surged forward, capturing Sam's lips between his own, his fingers carding though the long golden brown strands. Sam's large hand tightened on the back of Gabriel's neck.

After a long passionate kiss they pulled reluctantly apart and smiled at one another. "So do we understand each other now?" Sam asked breathlessly, his thumb stroking below the shorthairs at Gabriel's nape.

"I think you put forward a very convincing argument, Mr Winchester."

"Well I did attend Stamford." Sam smirked. "So we're good?"

"For now." Gabriel nodded.

"Meaning?" Sam frowned, concerned and tired.

"Meaning, it's easy when we're alone, it always had been. It's when _he's_ around things turn to shit."

"Look, we're just going to behave as we always do, act normal. He'll get used to it eventually."

"Or he'll kill me in my sleep." Gabriel grumbled.

"Don't worry, Sugar-Bear, I'll protect you." Sam teased, leaning forward to gift Gabriel is a soft chaste kiss.

"Jackass." Gabriel whispered against his lips.

"Takes one to know one."

 

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

The slam of the heavy metal door had Sam's head snapping up from the pile of papers he'd spent almost five hours going over since discovering g them the previous night. He'd known Dean was on his way back, his brother having called him that morning, but he'd lost track of time.

As Dean's heavy booted feet moved down the iron steps, Sam glanced over at the table a few feet away where Claire and Gabriel were sat in front of her laptop, surrounded by books. They'd been trying to figure out what to do about Claire's final few months of high school, seeing as they couldn't exactly get her papers shipped from Solon Spring. While Claire wasn't really biting at the bit to get back into education, both he and Gabriel wanted her to at least graduate, after that they'd discuss the future.

Gabriel met Sam's gaze with a raised brow and punched his lips. Over the last week they'd really talked, agreeing to just let the dust settle, and try not to throw their relationship in Dean's face, but not hide either. Sam just prayed Gabriel remembered that once he was actually stood in front of Dean.

Sending both Gabriel and Claire a reassuring smile, Sam turned back to watch Dean finally step into the library, pausing at the entrance to look across the room at the other table, clearly not expecting them to be there. Sam inhaled slowly, before speaking. "Hey, how was Kevin?"

Dean didn't answer right away, and Sam took another breath, expecting, waiting for the fireworks to begin all over again. His stomach cramped painfully when Dean started walking towards the table with Claire and Gabriel. He pushed himself up out of his seat, ready for yet another fight.

"Thought you might want these." Dean said roughly, thrusting a thick brown envelope at Claire. "Call it a peace offering."

Sam frowned as Claire took the envelope and opened it. "My school records?"

Dean shrugged, turning from the table and heading back towards the entrance.

"There's beer in the cooler!" Gabriel called after him.

Sam relaxed back into the chair as Dean gave a nod to Gabriel, not actually looking at him as he did so, and went for the small fridge a few feet away. Gabriel and Claire went back to what they were doing and a tense, delicate peace settled over the room.

"So…" Sam began. "Kevin?"

Dean straightened with a beer and headed for him. "Kevin's fine. He'd in a corner, hacking out his Da Vinci Code. – Nothing actionable." He sighed pulling out a chair and taking a seat. "Garth says hi by the way."

Sam smiled and turned back to his work. Act normal and maybe it'll all be fine.

"Anything from Cass?" Dean asked suddenly, causing all parties to look up.

Sam met his gaze for a long moment. "Not a peep. Why, you?"

"No." Dean shook his head. "He's…uh…He's not answering."

Which meant that Dean actually tried calling him. Something twisted in his chest and he turned to look at Gabriel, who sighed, shaking his head.

"So what you doing?" Dean asked defusing the tension.

"Oh uh…Right well, uh, so I have been trying to chart out the Letter's network of hunters, their allies…ah…affiliated groups they worked with, kept files on."

"Circa 1958?" Dean scoffed.

"Yeah true, most are dead or defunct. – But others, I'm not so sure and this one we should definitely check out." He pushed the files across the table.

"The Judah Initiative?" Dean frowned, scanning the pages.

Sam filled Dean in on the Initiative and the weird death of a member only a few days earlier.

"He was capped?" Dean asked, his gaze flickering between the file and the computer screen where Sam had pulled up the article.

"HE's a rabbi, not a mafia don." Gabriel unhelpfully snorted across the room.

"Shut up, Gabriel." Sam growled. They were on rocky ground, he didn't need his lver unsettling the delicate truce they seemed to have built. "Yeah. He was there doing research and according to eye witnesses he spontaneously combusted."

"Which is bullshit." Gabriel announced turning in the chair and looking over at them. "Human spontaneous combustion isn't real, the few case that have been reported as such, were the resolt of outside influences." He pointed skywards.

Dean glared at him then turned back to Sam. "So…this is a case?" he sighed. "I just got back." With a groan Dean slouched in the chair, sipping from his bottle.

"I could go with, if Dean wants to rest." Claire announced excitedly.

Sam laughed. "Nice try you're grounded from hunting. Remember?"

"I guess I could go if Dean doesn't mind babysitting." Gabriel heaved a put upon sigh.

"I don't _need_ a babysitter. I'm almost eighteen."

"Almost being the operative word there." Gabriel snorted.

"I'll go." Dean said sharply, getting to his feet. "Just five me time to visit the bathroom and grab something to eat, I assume we have food?"

Sam nodded and Dean pushed himself out of his chair and headed for the corridor. "We leave in fifteen. Grab your stuff."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I'm sorry for the long wait. I appreciate your patience and all the comments/reviews. Thank you.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember the timeline is a little mixed up, having switched Trial & Error and Everybody Hates Hitler.

Gabriel woke feeling like hell. Utter and complete hell. His head was pounding, his throat scratchy and he sore, and he thought he might actually have a fever. He was just grateful that he didn't have to head off to work.

He'd been feeling pretty crappy for days now, if he were honest, not that he'd told Sam. He didn't need him freaking out and Gabriel was pretty sure that would happen, because he was almost positive that his feeling like shit had something to do with the trials. What made him think that? Call it instinct. Coughing up blood, just like he had twenty-four hours after starting these damn trials was a very clear signal.

Rolling out of the bed, Gabriel groaned, perching on the edge of the mattress as the room began to spin. It wouldn't last long, he knew, he knew that so he just waited for it to pass. When it finally did, he pushed himself to his feet with effort and cautiously made his way to the couch where his clothes had he abandoned. He slipped on his sweats and the large t-shirt that had once been Sam, then headed out to face the morning.

Gabriel didn't bother with a shower, too nervous of passing out beneath the downpour and drowning, instead he simply eased the sight of blood. Feeling part way to normal again he headed back along the corridor towards the library, knowing that was where the brothers would be. Probably hashing over a new case.

The pair were sitting in the crows next, as Sam had come to call it, eating breakfast while discussing a case, just as he'd predicted.

"...munch on any brains."

Zombies? Gabriel frowned.

"Well, who's the witness?" Dean asked, his gaze locked on the Weekly World News Gabriel had grabbed from the store the previous day.

"Montana state trooper, twenty year vet. Checked his pulse, saw his insides split all over the place, announced him dead with a capital D." Sam informed, his gaze shifting from Dean to smile up at Gabriel as he walked through on his way to the kitchen. "How you feeling?" Sam asked, concerned.

Gabriel paused, looking over at his lover with a raised brow. "Uh?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "I know you're sick, Gabe. 1: you look like death, and 2: we share a bed, you don't think I can feel when you've got a fever?"

Dean made a muffled nose, but didn't say anything.

He'd been a lot less hostile the past couple of weeks, ever since he'd returned from his bar crawl. Assuming that was what it had actually been, Gabriel had his suspicious as to just want the hunter had been doing, but in an attempt to keep his promise to Sam he'd kept quiet.

However, while he wasn't actively going out of his way to butt heads with Dean, that didn't stop him flaunting his and Sam's relationship under the guise of casual conversation. "That's not a fever Kiddo, that's just the way you make me feel when you're..."

Dean grunted almost harshly and shoved back his chair. Gabriel watched as Sam stiffened, expecting another explosion, only for Dean to head the way Gabriel had just come.

Gabriel smirked, turning to continue towards the kitchen. It wasn't that he liked making Dean uncomfortable. Oh, who was he kidding, he loved it, but it was mostly done out of a mix of self-defence, frustration and just a tinge of brotherly anger. - Mostly frustration.

Gabriel didn't exactly have a history of living with people. He'd spent most of his time on earth alone, until two years ago when he'd found himself relying on Sam and with a young woman depending on them. Things with Sam hadn't exactly been smooth sailing, though Gabriel wondered if most of that was down to the sexual and emotional tension bubbling away between them, and then he'd left and it had just been him and Claire.

It had taken him a while to find his feet, settling into a 'normal human' life. Getting a job, making friends, but it had been made easier by the fact that Claire liked him. He'd even go as far as to say loved him.

The problem now was that he was living with someone who actually hated him. It was a hostility he hadn't had to deal with since leaving heaven over 2000 years ago. And much like his sibling, when Gabriel was challenged, he did what any good archangel did, he attacked. Only now with no grace all he had was his words. - And in some cases, PDA. It was his own damn fault, Dean should learn to known before barging into a couple's room, even if it was 2 in the afternoon.

Gabriel poured himself a glass of water and took a large gulp, glaring at the refrigerator, contemplating whether he could handle food.

"I'm serious, Gabe," Sam suddenly said from behind him, causing the ex-archangel to jump and almost drop his glass.

"Dammit Winchester, don't do that!" Gabriel curse, glowering at the taller man.

Sam smiled apologetically, "Sorry." he murmured, moving over to where Gabriel stood beside the sink, the back of his hand raising to press against the man's forehead. "You're still warm."

Gabriel sighed, knowing the look in his lover's eyes, he wasn't going to be able to avoid this with sarcasm. "It's just the flu, it's nothing serious." he lied with a wide smile. "Claire get off to school okay?"

They'd been able to get Claire enrolled in the local high schools a week ago, with surprisingly little stress and few questions. As far as anyone at the school was concerned Claire and her father were hauled up at the motel on the edge of town until they found a more permanent place to love. They'd actually hired a room for a few days, just in case someone stopped by to check, and were slipping the owner $50 a week just to let them know if anyone from the school came nosing around.

Thankfully, it wouldn't last much longer, Claire being so close to graduating.

Sam nodded, his large fingers moving from Gabriel's forehead to comb though the other man's hair. "You should go back to bed, I'll call Claire. Get her to grab something from the pharmacy on her way home."

"That's not necessary, really Sam, I'm fine. I don't need any more sleep." he said, only to yawn.

Sam lifted a disbelieving brow at him.

"So what's this about a zombie?" he asked, changing the subject. "You guys heading out on a case?"

Sam didn't answer and Gabriel looked up at his concerned frown. He noticed Gabriel looking at him and shrugged. "I don't know, it's probably nothing."

"Or it's something." Gabriel huffed.

"Garth can get someone else to check it out."

Gabriel glowered at Sam, arms folded over his chest. "Don't baby me Sam!" he snapped. "I'm sick, I'm not dying." yet he thought, causing his stomach to cramp. "You have a job, you can't just stop doing it because I've got a cold."

Sam watched him, eyes burning deep into Gabriel. "Except it's not a cold, is it? I'm not an idiot Gabe." he said sharply, "This has to do with the trials, doesn't it?"

Gabriel sighed wearily, dropping his gaze. "Maybe." he shrugged. "Maybe it is just a cold, I don't know, but whatever it is, you can't just stop working. - Look Sammy," he muttered softly, moving closer to stand toe to toe with Sam. Amber eyes almost pleading as they locked with Sam's hazel ones. "If this _is_ a trail thing then there's nothing that going to stop it except to finish the damn thing, and that isn't going to be happening today, tomorrow or the day after that, so please go hunt zombies."

Sam opened his mouth to argue only to close it again and exhale slowly. "Okay." he whispered, shoulders slumping in surrender. "But if you get any worse..."

"You'll be the second to know." Gabriel smiled reassuringly.

"Second?"

"Well, I'd be the first, won't I." he chuckled, voice low and rough.

"Jackass." Sam spat with a laugh, leaning down to brush his lips across Gabriel's. They kissed for a few seconds before Sam pulled away and headed for the door. He paused on the threshold, looking back at Gabriel with warm loving eyes. "Eat something," he ordered. "There's soup in the cupboard."

Gabriel gave him a wide smile and a salute, even as his stomach churned at the thought of food. Even if it were just soup.

 

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

Gabriel slouched low on the couch, his focus fixed on the TV, a mug of steaming coffee in his hand. The silence of the bunker weighed heavily on him.

He and Claire had found the large room their first week, while Sam and Dean had been off hunting Nazi necromancers. Like most rooms in the bunker it had been thick with dust and stale smelling, but it was clearly meant to be used to relax. There were two large couches, a small bar, a radio and a billiard table. Apparently even the men of letters needed a place to chill after a hard day saving the world. - And by saving the world, Gabriel meant doing lots of research about saving the world.

They'd spent the rest of the boys absence getting it cleaned and buying practically a crate of Fabreeze to hide the stick of decades old cigar smoke and whiskey, not to mention the just plan simple bad air scent.

Gabriel had even dished out for a second had TV. Dean had been over the moon to have somewhere to chill out after a hunt that wasn't filled with books, and it had gone a long way to building bridges.

But while it was a nice place to spend his time after almost a month and a half, Gabriel was going a little stir crazy. Of course there was nothing keeping him in the bunker. He had a key now, thanks to Dean and there was a garage full of cars he had use of, it was just where would he go? What would he do? He missed Solon Springs, he missed Annabella and his work. He missed the life he'd built for himself. - Most of all though, he missed being himself. He longed for his powers. Going out and setting the world to rights in his own unique way.

He stared at the TV, a teenager stood ranting at his teen mom girlfriend about how her pregnancy was ruining _his_ life, and he flexed his fingers before giving into his anger. Snapping his fingers he envisioned the boy carrying his girlfriend's burden. He started as a fuse blew, the TV screen going blank and the lights flickering briefly.

Gabriel sat up right on the couch and stared at his fingers, his heart racing, he swallowed thickly and pressed the tips together again, holding his breath as he snapped them.

Nothing. No blown fuse. No flickering lights. No rush of power through his very being. All he got was a familiar irritating tickle in the back of his throat. Coughing, Gabriel tried to relieve the itch but it didn't help, so he got to his feet and headed for the kitchen.

He stood over the sink, sipping and coughing, slowly recognising that acidy taste in his mouth again. He was rinsing out when he heard the echo of the heavy metal door and glanced up at the wall clock. 4:30 PM. Claire? - Washing the remains of the blood from the sink and refilling his glass, Gabriel took a deep breath and headed out the meet the teenager.

He found her dumping her school bag on the table.

"Hey Kiddo," Gabriel smiled. "How was school?"

"Fine." She grunted, yanking her books out of her bag, and dropping them on the library table.

Gabriel frowned. "Okay, what's happened?"

"Nothing." Claire lied through gritted teeth.

Gabriel winced at the sound of the chair scraping the polished floor as Claire violently pulled it out. He watched her for a long moment but when it became clear she wasn't going to check. Moving over cautiously he joined her at the table. "Claire?" he pressed, "I know something's wrong, so spill,"

She glared down at her folder. "It's nothing."

"You know I can sit here all night," he stated, his fingers finding Riot's fur as the dog rested its head on his leg. "I don't have anything else to do."

Claire sat there silently, her pen tapping against the pad, her eyes fixed on the book open in front of her. She remained that way for a while. Gabriel silently watching her, supping his water and stroking Riot. He was so focused on the silence that he almost missed it when the girl finally spoke.

"I miss home." she whispered, gaze locked on her books.

Gabriel started, looking up from Riot's head. "Huh?"

She paused, rolling the pen through her fingers. "I miss home. I miss my friends, my old school. - My room."

Gabriel inhaled slowly. "I know." he sighed, eyes closing briefly.

"I hate being the new kid again." she grunted, "I know it's only a couple more months but... - Prom's coming up."

"Ah." Gabriel nodded understandingly, "and no one's asked you?"

Claire didn't answer, just stared at her school work. "I'm the freak who lives at the local motel with her two dads, of course no one's asked me."

Then they're idiots. - You're a great girl and if the guys can't see that then that's their loss. - But, Claire, no one said you have to go with someone." he pointed out coolly.

The young woman's eyes narrowed at her adoptive dad, "its prom. You don't understand!" she snapped, "Only losers don't get dates to prom! I've been looking forward to this all my life. Mum used to tell me all about her prom, we used to imagine what my prom would be like, and now..." she sniffled back tears, "I just want to be normal again. Just for one god-damn night, I don't want my life to be a friggin' mess!"

Gabriel watched the tears roll down his pseudo daughter's face and swallowed thickly at the pain he saw there. It wasn't about prom, a small voice told him. Claire was upset about the turn her life had taken. It was about the loss of her parents. "I'm sorry kiddo," he whispered, reaching across the table to grasp her hand. "If I could... - I'm sorry."

Claire snuffled back the tears, swiping at her face, shaking her head at him apologetically. "I just feeling..."

"Unsettled." Gabriel murmured, "I know. You're not used to this, the moving around, the learning friends at a moment's notice, not like Sam and Dean are. Its second nature to them." he sighed.

"I... I get why we had to leave, I do." she looked around the library with a sigh, "How long till we leave this place? How long before we have to move again?"

Gabriel's fingers tightened around Claire's hand, his thumb brushing comforting circles on its back. "I promise, we won't be leaving here."

"You don't know that." She huffed angrily. "Anything could happen. Dean doesn't want us here. He doesn't want you and Sam together. How long before he forces us to leave." she demanded angrily.

Gabriel inhaled slowly though his nose, squeezing the teenagers fingers once again. "Firstly, me and Sammy are _fine_." it wasn't a lie, not totally. Though there was still a lot of tension between them. "Secondly, Dean knows he's stuck with us."

Claire scoffed. "You forget, l've read all about them, I know the hold Dean has over Sam."

"Then you know, Sam doesn't listen to his big brother when it comes to his love life." Though that was a lie. Dean did have an unhealthy hold on Sam, and it's frustrating how much of what Dean thinks and wants influence Sam's decisions regarding his life. While he'd never say it to Claire, not wanting her to feel anymore unsettled and nervous about their future, he had to admit he'd been wondering the same thing.

"And look what happened." Claire scoffed.

"Claire, I swear, we're okay. We're not leaving." he forced her to meet his gaze, trying to silently convince her. No matter what it cost him, he'd stay and live with Dean's bullshit at least until Claire was safely settled in college. "You know, if you want stability, this isn't the life you want." he added after a few long moments watching her cry. She lifted her red rimmed and watery eyes questioning. "Being a hunter," he clarified, "There's absolutely no stability, no fixed roots. It's a consent challenge and I understand why you wanted to hunt, every hunters story starts with the death of a loved one, and sadly ends with their own."

"We've all got to so sometime." Claire reminded him coldly.

"I know, believe me, but it shouldn't be..." he shook his head, swallowing thickly at the tears building in his throat at the thought of Claire ending up like John Winchester, or even himself. "Maybe Sammy was right, maybe you should go off to college, be normal for longer than one night. Get a degree, meet a guy, have a family. - _Live_."

"I owe it to mom!" she snapped, snatching her hand away.

"You owe it to her not to get yourself killed and this..." he said sharply, waving his arm around at the bunker as a representation of the hunter's life, "...is a sure fire way to be just that. - You deserve to be happy, Claire. All me and Sam want is for you to be save and happy. We may not be your parents by blood but we see you as our daughter and we love you as such."

Claire stared at him, tears once again rolling down her cheeks. Neither one spoke, unsure what to say, or even if they could voice their feelings. Eventually, after what felt like hours, but was only about twenty minutes. Gabriel got up with a warm sad smile, stepping around the table he bowed, pressing a kiss to Claire's blonde head. "I love you, kiddo." he whispered.

"Love you too, Dad." she replied, her voice hoarse and wet.

"Now, I'm gonna start dinner, you've got homework to be going. Riot, come on boy, let's leave her to it."

Gabriel was just taking the steps out of the library when Clair's voice stopped him.

"Oh, Dad?"

"Yep." he popped, looking back at her.

Claire smiled brightly. "Thanks."

"For what?" Gabriel frowned.

"Everything. Being you." she smiled brightly.

"Gabriel flushed, his thin lips curling up at the corners." Anytime, Kiddo." he winked, then headed off towards the kitchen.

 

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

Gabriel lay stretched out on the couch in the lounge, his laptop open on his lap as he browsed colleges. Though he and Claire hadn't spoken any more about getting out of the life before she was pulled in any further, he'd decided to check out some options, ordered a few broachers. Besides there was nothing else for him to do with the TV out of commission. - Okay, that wasn't really an issue, he could always watch Netflix.

He was just reading though the homepage for Berkley when he heard the heavy doors slam and his eyes flickered to the clock into the corner of the screen. 2:40 AM. He frowned and set his laptop aside and went to investigate. Riot rushed eagerly ahead of him. He heard loud voices and rushing voices. Riot picked up the pace when he recognised them.

Gabriel followed after them and come to a stop outside one of the spare rooms, his eyes flickering between Dean, Sam and the strangers before settling on the bed and the unconscious boy. "What the hell's happening?" he demanded.

Sam turned to him, with a troubled smile. He didn't answer, instead turning back to the woman who looked frustrated and panicked all at the same time. There was genuine fear in her gaze that Gabriel recognised all too well.

"You keep saying curse, what curse?" the woman asked, confused.

"How long's this been happening?" Sam asked quietly.

"I... I don't... Since he turned 7 a few months ago. It started with the dying then he stopped talking.

"Wait, 7?" Sam interrupted, "7 marks one of the first Greek rites of manhood."

"So what, you're saying the curse is hardwired into his programming? How do you know that?"

"We do more than make..."

"Not now Gabriel." Sam snapped, shooting the ex-angel a hard look.

Gabriel took a deep breath, shoulder's slumping as he lent against the doorframe, his gaze moving past them all to the handsome blonde in the corner. "Prometheus." he greeted.

The man turned, eyes flickering across Gabriel's face as if he's trying to remember something. "Do I know you?"

Gabriel shrugged. "Never had the please, but I know a couple of your relatives. - Have to admit, they're all pretty much assholes. Though frankly," he shrugged. "My own family isn't exactly the Brady's."

Prometheus narrowed his gaze at him, then looked to Sam and Dean.

"Just ignore him." Dean huffed, shooting Gabriel a hard look.

Sam giving Prometheus an apologetic look then turned his full attention back to the woman. Gabriel watched the pair, listening to the woman's desperate words.

"...what curse?" the woman finished saying looking from Prometheus to the three men.

"He'll be safe here," Sam said gently. "Come with us and we'll explain everything." he stepped out of the room, squeezing Gabriel's shoulder and pulling him along with him.

They made their way to the library. Prometheus and his friend took a seat at one of the tables, Dean tossed his jacket into one of the leather chairs, before leaning casually back against another table. Sam took a seat opposite Prometheus, hanging his own jacket behind. Gabriel looked between them all, "You all look like you could do with some coffee." he murmured. "Please, start without me." he waved, knowing Sam would fill him in later.

Gabriel took his time making the coffee and grabbed a bottle of scotch from the pantry. When he headed back to the library, tray of mugs in hard and gave as silent sigh of relief to find the room silent. He set the tray on the table and smiled reassuring at the woman, who looked dumbfounded. "I added a little something, for the shock." he said, sliding the mug over to her. "I take it everything is...explained."

"Okay..." the woman - Gabriel really had to find out her name. - Started suddenly, "So Olley's dad is a Greek god who's cursed to die every day by Zeus, and you guys are..." she looked between them. "Ghostbusters, - Am I getting this right?"

Gabriel couldn't help the amused snort that left his nose at the woman words. Dean shot his am tired look and Gabriel sighed, reaching for his own mug.

"Well, due to the fact that your son is currently, albeit temporally dead. I'm gonna let that one slide." Dean said, shifting against the table's edge.

"You have to realize this sounds crazy."

"You're son's dead and you found him on a mountain with no memory, sweetheart, you left crazy a decade ago." Gabriel huffed, a bored smile on his lips. Sam glared at him. "What?"

"It's true, I didn't believe it myself at first but it's the only thing that makes sense." Prometheus added.

"The faster you wrap your brain around this, the faster we can solve the problem." Dean tacked on with a frustrated grumble.

"Solve the problem? I'm not even sure I understand the problem."

"Alright, so the way we usually handle this is, we summon the bastard and we work him over until he undoes whatever it is he did." Dean informed them, moving closer to the table.

Gabriel bit his lip at the confidence in the hunter's voices, like they weren't talking about a _god_.

"Summon Zeus?"

"Yes."

"And if he doesn't want to undo it?"

"Then we take him out." Sam answered.

Gabriel snorted again. "Yeah, cause that worked so well last time." he muttered, not expecting the gathering to hear him.

The woman looked sharply at him. "What?"

"Ignore him." Dean said through gritted teeth. "Hopefully the curse dies along with Zeus."

"Hopefully?" the woman laughed. "This can't be happening?"

The sound of a dry cough echoed through the silence and all eyes turned towards the corridor. Getting to her get the woman quickly hurried to attend to her son, leaving the men to look awkwardly between one another. Dean glowering angrily at Gabriel.

"What? You act like you guys have done this before." Gabriel pointed out defensively.

"We have!" Dean snapped.

"No, you haven't. If memory serves the last time you went up against a god, or six, you boys almost ended up as desert and Zeus, he's...he's nothing like Kali and the others, he's a sadistic son of a bitch. He slaughtered, or imprisoned, his whole family in order to rule. What does that tell you, huh? He's ruthless and if you think he'd just gonna let him," he gestured to Prometheus, who was sat solemnly watching the argument. "…and the boy off because you said pretty please, you're dumber than I thought!"

"Hey!" Dean yelled furiously. "Well, if he doesn't we'll just have to take him out!"

"Oh, take him out, easy as pie." Gabriel laughed coldly. "Do you have any idea what it takes to kill a god?" he shook his head. "The last guy that tried Dragoloplis, let's just say our friend here got off easy."

"So what do we do?" Sam demanded, his own frustration bubbling over. "We can't just let the kid suffer."

Gabriel met his lovers gaze, inhaling slowly. "You might have to." he replied regretfully.

"Screw that!" Dean snapped. "We'll find a way. These books have to have something?"

"If they had something that worked, we wouldn't be standing here. The only think that can kill a god is another god, a weapon forged to kill gods. - Or death himself."

Sam glanced over at Dean. "Maybe he'd..."

Dean shook his head. "Not after last time." he sighed, "Weapon, huh? Like maybe Artemis' bow?"

Gabriel scoffed. "And what, you boys just gonna ask for it? Hate to break it to you but that chick is a serious daddy's girl. She'll kill you first."

"Who says we're gonna ask?"

Gabriel rolled his eyes and headed for the door.

"She's been hunting for years." Sam said slowly.

Gabriel turned to watch Sam watch Prometheus.

"What?"

"She's been trying to kill you for years, right? Daddy's orders, yet..." Sam shot Dean a look, then smirked at Gabriel meaningfully. "The goddess of hunters couldn't find a cabin in the Montana mountains?" he shook his head. "Either she's losing her touch or..."

"She knew exactly where he was." Gabriel grinned, looking over at Prometheus. "She was hiding him." he let out a soft whistle. "Guess not even a goddess is immune to a little star-crossed romance."

"What?" Dean and Prometheus said in unison.

"You and her were lovers." Gabriel clarified.

Prometheus frowned, shaking his head. "I... I don't know, I don't remember her."

"Amnesia tends to do that to a guy." Gabriel mocked. "Look it's the only explanation, and if you were and she's been covering your ass all this time, means she's still in love with you."

"She tried to kill me." Prometheus reminded them all.

Sam shook his head. "Did she? I'm not overly sure she did. - We're just saying, if she does still care about you, we may be able to convince her to help."

"Assuming you're right." Dean grumbled, "You really think she's going to help save the kid he had with another woman?" he scoffed, shaking his head. "You really don't know women."

Gabriel smirked over at him. "And you _really_ don't understand love. If she loves him enough to go against her father's orders and her family, all she'll want is him alive and happy, even if that means letting him go."

Dean laughed humourlessly. "Right, if you love them set them free." he rolled his eyes dramatically.

Gabriel fixed the older hunter with a scathing glare. "That's exactly what it means. - And I can think of at least one ' _guy_ ' who's put up with a lot of bullshit in the name of love."

Dean narrowed his gaze at the ex-angel for a long moment before turning away, stomping over to the decanter to pour himself a large glass of scotch.

Sam looked between them with a heavy sigh, shaking his head apologetically at Prometheus. "IF that is the case," he continued, ignore his brother and boyfriend. "We just need to talk to her. _You_ have to talk to her." he corrected looking across at the titan.

"And if we're wrong, she'll kill him." Dean clarified.

"At least our plan has a chance at working." Gabriel snapped. "Yours will get you all killed, and I'd rather not lose my boyfriend just yet. There's still a ton of positions we haven't tried yet."

"Gabe, don't start." Sam warned.

"I'm just stating the facts, you boys have been doing this long enough now that you should have gotten tired of rushing head first into a situation with the worst plans in history."

"Dean has a point, we need a back-up plan." Sam replied firmly.

Gabriel shook his head. "Whatever, good luck with that, say hello to Dragoloplis for Me." he turned on his heels and marched off in the direction of the lounge, leaving the brothers with the titan, planning their deaths.

 

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

"Hey."

Gabriel looked up from the laptop at the sound of Sam's voice. A soft, almost apologetic smile on his handsome face as he approuched.

"You and dumber figure out how to get yourselves killed?" Gabriel reaching for the soda can on the table beside him.

Sam took a long slow breath, lifting Gabriel's feet as he took a seat, then set them in his lap, his thumb rubbing at the man's slim ankle. "We're going to summon Artemis, try to persuade her to help us."

"Good luck with that." he muttered, dropping his gaze back to the computer screen.

"We're leaving Haylie and Ollie here, if that's okay with you?"

Gabriel shrugged. "Whatever."

"Gabe." Sam sighed, squeezing his ankle.

"What?" his eyes didn't leave the screen, so Sam reached over and slammed it closed. "Hey!"

"WE won't get killed."

Gabriel let out a loud scoffing sound. "Famous last words. That's what you thought when you headed into the Elysian Fields dining room."

Sam sort out his lovers gaze, holding it. "This is what we do, Gabe, remember. You were the one that forced me back into hunting when I was all but ready to walk away for good."

"I know," Gabriel breathed, "but there's a big difference between vampires, ghosts and werewolves, and fucking _gods_! - The older they are, Sammy, the more powerful they are. The Greeks, they're at the top of the food chain, along with Egyptian and..."

"I'll have you know, I killed Osiris a couple of years ago, and it's really not that difficult." he brushed off casually.

Gabriel stared into the Winchester's hazels eyes, searching for a lie and fining none. "Osiris?"

Sam smiled, shrugging. "It was him or Dean. And we've ganked our fair share of Pagan gods over the years."

"You took out a few lesser Celtic gods, they're all pussies." he huffed with an amused laugh.

"Look, what I'm saying is this isn't our first rodeo, we can do this, okay. Trust me."

"I do, and I know you guys can handle yourselves." Gabriel lowered his gaze, letting his head fall back against the arm of the couch.

"Then what's the problem?"

Gabriel closed his eyes, listening to Sam's and his own breathing. "I am." he whispered after a long silence. "I can't help. I can't back you up this time. I'm a god damn human and it's killing Me." literally, he feared, though he wouldn't say that.

Sam smiled reassuringly, leaning forward to snag the collar of Gabriel's t-shirt and pull him up so he could look him in the eyes. With Gabriel facing him, Sam cupped his jaw, brushing gently below his ear. "You are helping," he said softly. "You pointed out how stupid it would be..."

"Don't patronize me, Winchester." Gabriel warned harshly, not for the first time.

"I'm sorry. I'm just saying that you help in other ways. You might not have your grace anymore Gabe, but you still have over two thousand years of knowledge in that stubborn obnoxious head of yours."

"I'm bored, okay. I miss having a reason to get up in the morning."

"You have a reason." Sam insisted. "You're going to close the gates of hell for good. You're going to save so many lives with a single act. - Okay, three acts. - And you have Claire, and me."

"Seriously?" Gabriel smirked. "You're feeding me rom/com clichés when I'm feeling worthless?"

Sam shrugged. "Better than letting you wallow."

"What am I going to do with you?" Gabriel sighed, shaking his head.

"I'm sure you'll come up with something." Sam replied in a low husky voice, leaning into the ex-archangel's personal space and capturing his mouth.

Gabriel threated his fingers through Sam's long soft hair, deepening the kiss and shifting his position to pull the taller man over him, so they were laying stretched out on the couch. Sam's hand slipped between them, grasping hold of the laptop and setting it with a clunk on the floor before sliding his hand beneath Gabriel's shirt, groping at his sides.

A cough ended their kiss, the pair lifting their eyes from one another to the door where Haylie and her son stood. The woman looked flush, her hand covering her son's innocent eyes. "Sorry." she murmured. "Dean said there was a TV."

Gabriel cleared his throat as he sat up. " _Was_ being the operative word." he caught Sam's confused gaze. "It kinda blew yesterday. I figured Dean could fix it when you boys got back."

Sam looked from Gabriel to the TV with a sigh, then realising he was still stretched out over Gabriel, he hurriedly climbed off, flustered and hard. He adjusted his trousers as subtly as possible, but the amused look Haylie was giving him said she'd noticed the bulge in his jeans.

"But that's the joys of the internet, right?" Gabriel smiled at Ollie. "Who needs a TV anymore." he reached for the computer again.

Sam smiled at him. "We'll finish our discussion when I get back."

"Pretty sure you don't need to use code, Sammy. They had front seats." he grinned smugly over to a still red Haylie.

Sam quickly flushed red. Dropping a kiss to Gabriel's lips he hurriedly left. "See you later."

 

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

Gabriel spent the next few hours, wandering around the bunker, anxiously waiting for news from Sam. He'd already cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen, and was currently sat in a leather chair reading. Claire was off entertaining Ollie when Haylie strolled into the library aimlessly, and over to the shelves, Gabriel glanced up to watch her.

"I can't believe this is really happening." she said after a long few minutes.

Gabriel didn't say anything, he just closed his book and waited.

"Gods, monsters? This is insane."

"You don't believe in God?" he asked curiously.

Haylie turned. "Of course, but...one god, not..." she waved her hand at nothing in particular.

Gabriel nodded understandingly. "There are as many gods as there are religions. - It's...complicated..." he sighed.

Haylie strolled over to him, pulling out a chair. "So... _God_ is real?"

Gabriel smirked. "You just said you believed in him."

"Believing and knowing, very different."

"True. - Yeah, he's real." Gabriel murmured regretfully.

Haylie slouched in the chair, staring at him dumbfounded. "Huh. I guess I should start following the rules."

Gabriel chuckled. "Rules are made to be broken." he winked.

"And...have you met him?" she asked cautiously.

Gabriel smiled sadly, dropping his gaze to the closed book. "You could say that." he shrugged.

"And?"

"And what?" Gabriel frowned, already knowing what she was asking.

"What's he like?" Haylie curious and eager to know the truth. Only Gabriel doubted she actually wanted to hear the truth.

"He's...God." he shrugged. "He's a father, just like any other father. Strict, foreboding..." he face fell nervously, tugging her lip between her teeth. Gabriel cleared his throat. "...but forgiving. Loving his children unconditionally. The bible isn't always accurate." he added with an awkward smile. It was a lie of course, his father could be so much worse than the Bible would depict him.

Haylie smiled, nodding understandingly in a way only a parent would. "And... Well, you and Sam?"

Gabriel frowned. "What about us?"

"I have to admit, I didn't pin him as the type." she said almost apologetically.

"That's complicated too." Gabriel huffed. "I'm his first...guy thing." he clarified.

"Oh." she flustered, tapping her fingers against the table. "Well, you seem very happy."

Gabriel shrugged, flushing. "We are." he hoped. He knew how happy he felt, but Sam...? Sam was a continued mystery.

"And Claire?"

Gabriel laughed, leaning forward. "Trust me, there isn't enough time in the world to explain my confusing, mixed-up family situation."

"Mixed up?" Haylie scoffed. "I just discovered my holiday fling is a Greek god."

"Titan." Gabriel corrected easily.

"Titan, who's cursed and has passed that curse on to my, our son, and now I'm sat waiting to hear if he was able to get his ex to help kill her father to break the curse." she said in a rush of words.

Gabriel smiled, leaning back in his chair. "I'm an archangel turned pagan god, who died and came back human, shaking up with a hunter who spent five years trying to kill me, raising the daughter of my brother's vessel after a demon killed her mom. - Oh, and said brother is ridiculous in love with my boyfriend's infuriating jackass of a brother. Believe me, your life is nowhere close to mixed up. It's practically normal in this whole new world." he snorted at her shocked expression.

Haylie opened and closed her mouth a couple dozen times but by the time she found the words she'd been looking for the library echoed with sound of the heavy iron door being opened. Both Haylie and Gabriel were on their feet and rushing towards the entrance, staring up as Dean and Sam came through the door. Haylie craned her neck, looking passed them to the empty dark alley behind. Gabriel inhaled slowly, dropping his gaze to his feet regretfully. Hating himself for being glad it hadn't been Sam.

"I'm sorry." Sam whispered, stopping in front of Haylie. "The curse is broken through. It's over."

Haylie swallowed thickly then walked away, the three men watching her vanish down the corridor.

Gabriel turned, looking up at Sam intensely. "What happened?"

"Zeus tried to use him as a shield, he got hit by the arrow. - But he finished the job." Sam sighed.

Gabriel smiled sadly. "He was saving his son." he said, stepping closer and wrapping his arms around the hunter, holding him tightly.

 

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

Dean watched the pair for a minute or two before the sight became too much. Inhaling angrily he marched away. Reaching his room quickly he slammed the door behind him, ripping off his jacket and threw it violently onto the couch. With a tired sigh, the anger having burned itself out, he dropped down onto the bed, his head falling into his hands, a lump forming in his throat. He closed his eyes and took a deep sharp breath at the image bursting to life in his mind.

Dean forced his eyes open to stare at the floor, his heart racing and his hands shaking. "Cass? You got your ears on? - You know I'm not one for praying. In my book...it's the same as begging." he sighed warily. "Well this is me begging." he took another deep breath, his eyes closed once again. "I need you man. - Come back."

He held his breath for a moment before opening his eyes and glancing around, his heart dropping to his toes when he found the room still empty.

Rubbing at his eyes and shaking his head, Dean got back to his feet, grabbing his jacket and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said before I hadn't planned on having any Destiel in this, it was meant to be a pure Sabriel fic, but it's really hard to drop my number one ship. Though it's mostly just the B-Plot. Now I have to go and figure out how I'm going to deal with Goodbye Stranger.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunt for the angel tablet.

Sam glanced up from his laptop at the sound of bickering to watch Dean and Gabriel arguing. Again. It wasn't as intense and loud as it had been almost two months ago when they'd moved in to the bunker together, but it was still distracting.

The only reason Dean was letting Gabriel help him with the inventory was because Gabe could read ancient Egyptian Hieroglyphs, thereby saving him time and any real effort. Though it hadn't stopped them opening every crate to nose though.

Of course Sam had known it would only be a matter of time before they were at each other's throats again, so he'd stayed close, ready to step in if necessary. And by necessary he meant if things turned physical. He'd stopped getting in the middle of their snipping weeks ago, it was just two tiring and frankly Gabriel started the arguments more often than not, so Sam figured he could just damn well end them himself.

The strange thing about stepping back though was that it somehow defused the tension. Sam had come to the conclusion he'd been acting more as a tug rope than the Berlin wall since day one.

He dropped his gaze back to the screen of his computer and the curious newspaper reports from across the country. Same MO, different towns and states, something mostly definitely felt off, and frankly he could use a case. As much as he was enjoying his little slice of normal with Claire and Gabriel, he was getting itchy feet again and knew that if they didn't hunt something soon, there would be fireworks between him and Gabriel, and not in a good way.

The sound of coughing caught his attention and he raised his eyes again to see Gabriel fighting against yet another coughing fit. He'd been having them a lot lately, more often than the ex-angel cared to admit. - Not that he admitted to anything. Gabriel always brushed them off, said it was nothing. That it was probably just the dust, except Sam knew better. Firstly because the bunker was almost spotless, at least the parts they used most often, and secondly, Sam had seen the bloody tissues in the trash.

He never said anything though. What was the point? Gabriel simply denies anything was wrong, and it wasn't as if they could do anything to stop it. IT was blatantly clear to them all it had to be down to the trials and the only way they were fixing whatever was wrong with the ex-archangel was t finished what they'd started.

"You okay there Doc Holiday?" Dean snorted as Gabriel walked away from the boxes. Gabriel flipped him off over his shoulder, and hurried out of the library, but not before shooting Sam a reassuring fake smile on his way.

"He'll be fine." Dean insisted, but it was clear in his tone he didn't believe that any more than Sam did. "It's probably just the flu."

Sam stared at his brother like he had two head before inhaling slowly, nodding. "Yeah, probably." Denial, a Winchester speciality. Just pretend it's not happening. Pretend everything is fine right up until it isn't. Dean was a master, while Sam...Was learning.

"So you found us a case?" Dean asked, pulling up a chair at the war table and flicking open a six decade old skin mag.

Sam rolled his eyes then looked towards the corridor as he replied. "Yeah. Dead bodies showing up all over the Midwest last week. Benton, Indiana; Dawners Grover, Illinois; Novi, Michigan, and then again last night in Lincoln Springs, Missouri."

"How's this us?" Dean frowned, briefly looking up from the magazine.

"Because each of the victims had severe burns around their eyes, hands and feet, punctures wounds through the backs of their hands, eyes and internal organs liquefied."

"That sounds like us." Dean agreed, nodding while gazing at the centrefold.

"Yeah. Also, no link between any of the victims. Un...one was a real estate agent, one was a local historian. The woman killed last night was a teacher."

"So Chupacarbre?" Dean huffed.

Sam laughed, his eyes once again flickering anxiously to the corridor.

"What we got, power tools gone rogue? Wait..." Dean smirked. "Are we talking a maximum overdrive situation here?"

Sam rolled his eyes, slowly getting to his feet. "I don't know, worth a shot though."

Dean inhaled slowly, flipping the page.

"I...grab my gear and...We should probably leave in ten..."

"Hm hmm." Dean nodded, attention focused on the pages.

"Unless of course you need some more time with Miss October?" Sam added, staring down at his brother.

"What? Oh, uh...yeah." Dean smirked. "Make it twenty."

"Sick" Sam laughed, his feet already quickly leading him away from the crow's nest in search of Gabriel.

HE found his lover stretched out on the couch in the rec-room, his head resting back against a pillow, eyes closed. Sam watched him from the door for a few minutes, his chest tightening painfully, as fear ate away at his gut. If this was how he was after just one trail, almost two months ago, then Sam was terrified to think how he was going to be by the end."

"You're starting again. It's creepy." Gabriel laughed, twisting his head to meet Sam's gaze in the dim light.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked, pushing away from the door frame and making his way slowly over to the other man.

Gabriel inhaled deeply, rolling his eyes. "I'm _fine_." he insisted tiredly, but Sam could tell he was fighting the desire to couch again, and like every other time, he let it drop.

He lifted Gabriel's legs and took the seat. "We've got a case." he informed casually.

"Oh, that's good, Dean's getting cranky. - And so are you."

The pair fell silent, Sam's hand massaging his lover's ankle. Gabriel lying back against the pillow, his eyes growling heavy. Just as Sam thought he'd fallen asleep the man spoke.

"So where are you going?"

"Lincoln Springs, Missouri." Sam replied softly. "There's been a bizarre death. A teacher was killed, her eyes and internal organs liquefied. - There's been three others across the Midwest."

"Hmm." Gabriel moaned. "You should get going then." he murmured sleepily, lifting his feet and using them to force Sam off the couch.

Sam smiled, shaking his head as he crouch down to press a kiss to the man's head. "Call if you need anything." he ordered. "Gabriel?"

"Yeah, yeah. Call blah blah blah." he lifted his head, cradling Sam's to pull him into a brief yet passionate kiss before pushing him away. "Go."

Sam took a slow deep breath as warmth spread through his chest while he clambered to his feet. He opened his mouth to speak only to slam it shut again. After a few seconds of tense silence he muttered. "I'll call you later." then turned to stroll out of the door.

As he headed back along the corridor towards his room he noted Dean had disappeared from the Crow's Nest as he passed though, and know with a grimace just where his brother was. Tugging his phone out of his pocket he messaged Claire, informing her that they were heading out on a case and asking her to keep an eye on Gabriel. He didn't need to explain why, she'd been just as worried as him lately. With that done, he threw this things into the duffle and hurled it over his shoulder. He strolled down to Dean's room, banging on the door and telling Dean he was ready and to meet him at the Impala.

On his way to the garage, Sam couldn't help but pop his head in to check on Gabriel one last time. The ex-angel was snoring peacefully on the couch.

"Are you coming?" Dean called from the end of the corridor, startling Sam.

"Yeah." he nodded, stepping away from the rec-room and rushing to catch up.

 

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

"Somebody's killing demons. Well that is awesome. I feel like we should send a card or flowers. What kind of flowers says thanks for killing demons?"

Sam paused to meet his brother enthusiastic gaze over the top of the Impala. "Yeah, but who's killing demons and why? And by the way, since when does a demon possess someone and go all Beautiful Mind and start digging in the dirt? Does any of this seem right to you?"

Dean shrugged. "I like the part about killing demons. That seems right." he cheerfully claimed into the car.

Sam took a breath, glancing back at the house before getting in too. He didn't like it, there was something going on and his instincts were telling him it wasn't good, despite the dead demons. He felt like he should know what was happening and yet couldn't quite put his finger on it.

Making himself comfortable he pulled out his phone.

"Seriously man, he's fine." Dean grunted, starting the engine.

"I'm calling the families of the other victims." Sam corrected. "To find out if they witnessed anything...odd in their behaviour."

"Oh, well, that's good." Dean nodded, avoiding Sam's gaze with embarrassment.

Sam focused on the phone calls, ignoring the itch to call home. Dean's assumption wasn't misguided, he had been calling Gabriel every few hours just checking he was alright. Something Dean and Gabriel were getting frustrated about, but he couldn't help but worry. And he knew that if the situation was different, if he'd been the one to start the trails, Dean in particular would be a billion times worse.

Sam finished the last of his calls just as they pulled up in front of another house. "So, real estate guys wife said he was acting weird, historian's hubby said the same. Just got all obsessive then weird, no one saw any black eyes but you know, where there's smoke. I wonder what they're all looking for?"

Sam watched as Dean raised his hand to know only to pause, as Sam's phone went off. Fishing it out of his pocket, he looked at the caller ID and his gut fell. "Gabriel?" he said in a panic, stepping away from the door. "What's wrong?"

 _"Nothing's wrong, breathe dammit."_ Gabriel ordered.

Sam forced air into his lungs and braced himself against the porch post, his legs weaken slightly. "So why are you calling?"

 _"I'm calling about the case._ " Gabriel informed him casually.

"We're not..."

_"I've looked at the stuff you left and I think I know what's going on. I should have realised sooner but..."_

"What?" Sam looked across at his intrigued brother. "Gabriel has something on the case."

_"I was staring at those towns, something was familiar about them but it took a while to click. Sorry."_

"It's fine. What is it?"

_"They're the locations to Lucifer's crypts."_

"What? - Lucifer's crypts?" Sam stepped further away from the house and switched the call to loud speaker.

"Lucifer had crypts?" Dean frowned, moving closer.

_"Back in the hey-day, when he was first starting to manipulate demons, he had Azazel build crypts."_

"How do you know?" Sam asked cautiously.

_"I kept an eye on my brother over the years. Anyway there's one in all the towns on this list and the victims'..."_

"They're demons, we already figured that out."

 _"Oh, then you've figured out what's killing them."_ the smile was clear in his tone and the brothers exchanged frustrated looks. _"Huh, seriously it's obvious. The wounds, only one thing could be responsible for them. - An angel."_

Dean straightened instantly, his eyes flickering around the front yard. "Cas?"

_"Maybe. More likely though it's someone working for upstairs."_

Sam took a breath, looking at his brother curiously. "Okay, so...what's with the storage wars? What are they looking for?"

_"Could be anything. Luci pilfered more than a few items over the years. You're just going to have to get your hands on one of those demons to find out."_

"I don't suppose you can give us an actual address for this vault, and save us the time?" Dean sighed warily.

_"I said I knew about them, I haven't actually been there."_

Dean huffed. "Of course not, that would be too easy."

Gabriel chuckled down the line. _"Just be careful, okay. Whatever they're looking for its important enough for upstairs to send out a retrieval squad."_

Dean looked at the house. "I guess we'll just have to see what Wendy Rice has to say." moving back up the porch to knock.

"Thanks Gabe, I call when we have something."

_"You better. - Oh, and Sammy?"_

"Yeah?"

_"_ _**Whoever** _ _has been sent by heaven, don't mention me, will you?"_

Sam inhaled sharply at the nervous fear in his lover's voice. "Of course not."

 _"Good. - Go do your job. I'll talk to you later."_ he signed off with a kissy noise that left a smile on Sam's face, just as the door open to reveal a middle-aged woman in curlers.

While Dean introduced them, Sam put away his phone and retrieved his ID, smiling reassuringly at the woman.

"Of course, please come in. - Can I get you anything?"

"No thank you, Ms Rice, just tell us what you know about Mrs Morton. - How did you know her?"

Wendy led them into the living room, waving for them to take a seat. "I had never met her before she called the other night." the woman said, eager to help, taking the armchair.

For the next few minutes Ms Rice, told them about the phone calls she'd received late the night before Mrs Morton's death. How Morton wanted to know about the researched Wendy was doing on the Underground Railroad, and the town. Wendy showed them a map she'd been painstakingly recreating for years as part of her research, pointing out the Old Javoich Orchard that had really peeked Morton's interest."

"Then I read about her in the paper. Just tragic." Wendy shook her head regretfully. "Ann's assistant called this morning though, asked if I still had the map."

"Assistant?" Sam frowned. Mr Morton hadn't mentioned an assistant.

Wendy was stopped from answering by a knock at the door. "Oh, that must be him. Maybe he can help." she smiled, getting up to answer the door.

Sam watched her walk away then pulled the map closer to examine it more closely. When Wendy screamed he was on his feet in an instantly, but they were too slow. The demons burst into the house, throwing Wendy across the room to crash into the coffee table.

Sam quickly found himself pinned to the floor, his knife skittering across the room when the demon knocked it free of his hand. The demon's fist connected over and over but for every punch that bastard landed, Sam bit back. He could hear the tussle in the other room, Dean's angry grunts as he fought.

Then it was over. Sam's eyes squinted closed tightly as his vision filled with light. When it cleared, but for the white dots, he stared up in surprise to see Cass looking down at him. "Cas?"

"Sam." the angel nodded, turning to drag the possessed Wendy with him into the kitchen.

Sam struggled to his feet, meeting Dean's equally confused gaze. A sharp pain shot through his back, shoulder and head, and rolled his jaw as he hobbled back to the couch. He had just taken a seat when Dean disappeared for a few minutes, returning with an ice pack.

"Here, put this on your shoulder." Dean ordered, tossing the pack at him.

"I'm fine." Sam replied harshly, catching it and throwing it aside. Just as he opened his mouth to voice his anger and confusion, the door opened and Cas waltzed back into the room. They hadn't heard a word from him in months and now here he was, swooping in to save the day? Something was off.

 _"_ _ **Whoever**_ _has been sent by heaven, don't mention me, will you?"_ Gabriel's voice whispered in his mind. Had Gabriel suspected it was Cas, but hadn't wanted to say? He'd have to wait until he got home to find out.

"I bound the demon I caught in a devil's trap, I'm going to interrogate it now." Cas informed them matter-of-factly.

"Wait a second, Cas. How about you answer some questions first?" Sam demanded, frustrated. "Like where the hell have you been?" he watched the angel closely, trying to find something to explain the man's strange behaviour.

"You heard me, didn't you?" Dean asked beside him, his voice thick with tension, and maybe even a hint of hurt.

Sam looked at his brother, his brows pinched tightly together. "You prayed to him?" he asked surprised. "When?"

"Yes, I heard you, but that's not why I'm here." Cas replied coldly, taking a seat in the armchair.

Sam didn't miss the pained look that passed over Dean's face at the angel's dismissal, and he looked between them as the atmosphere grew fragile in a way it had never done before. Like the slightest movement could break it.

"I've been hunting demons." Cas exhaled after a long spaced out moment of silence.

"So this was you?" Sam stared at his friend while Gabriel's warning screamed in his ear. _Whatever they're looking for its important enough for upstairs to send out a retrieval squad._ Was Castiel working for heaven?

"I've been searching for the other half of the demon tablet." Castiel insisted flatly, but his gaze was almost angry as he glowered across at them.

Sam frowned.

"Without us?" Dean snapped, that echo of hurt ringing loud and clear in his tone.

"I've been trying to help Dean." Cas replied harshly. "And in my search I discovered Crowley had sent out demons to look for Lucifer's crypts."

Sam's gut tightened, his eyes flickering to Dean, praying his brother wouldn't mention the fact that they already knew about the crypts, or how.

"Lucifer has crypts?" Dean asked, sounding utterly ignorant of them. Sam clenched his jaw to stop from sighing in relief.

"Dozens of them apparently."

Sam watched Cas as he sat, seeming bored with the conversation. "What are they looking for?" he asked cautiously.

"They're looking of uh..." he trailed off, staring into space as if trying to think of something to say. A lie to tell. "Parchment that would allow them to decipher Crowley's half of the tablet without a prophet."

"A demonic decode ring, in Crowley's hands? Awesome." Dean replied coldly, not looking at the angel.

"The crypts were lost over time, only those closest to Lucifer knew there were about." as informed them.

And Gabriel, Sam though. "Then how did Crowley find them?"

"His demons have been possessing locals who may have some special knowledge."

"That explains the crazy room in Anne's house." Sam muttered. "But how did they know where to start looking in the first place?" he frowned.

"I don't know." Cas announced, getting to his feet. "I'm hoping the strange haired demon in the kitchen is more knowledgeable than the others I've interrogated."

Interrogated? Killed you mean. Sam thought, his jaw tight as he watched Cas leave the room.

"Well, he puts the ass in Cass, uh?" Dean grumbled, leaning heavily on his knees and staring at the door.

"He's definitely off." Sam replied in a whisper, glancing towards the kitchen once more.

"Off? He hasn't been right since he got back from purgatory and we still don't know how he got out of there."

Sam nodded thoughtfully, eyes never leaving his brother's face. "Then why were you praying to him?" he asked carefully.

Dean met his eyes for only a second before getting quickly to his feet.

"You know I can hear you both!" Cas called from the other room, startling them. "I am a celestial being."

Sam swallowed thickly, relieved neither he nor Dean had mentioned Gabriel. Getting to his feet he reluctantly followed Dean into the kitchen, snatching the knife off the carpet on his way.

 

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

 _"Angel tablet?"_ Gabriel hummed down the line. _"So that's what happened to it."_

"You know about it?" Sam asked harshly.

 _"Of course I know, but it went missing centuries ago. Probably should have known my brother stole it._ " he scoffed.

"What is it?" Sam asked, his fingers tapping against the dashboard, looking cautiously over at the house.

Dean and Cas had helped Meg into the house, leaving Sam to call Gabriel and see what he knew. Hopefully, Dean could keep Cas distracted long enough that he doesn't listening in on Sam's private call.

_"Gee, the recipe for Red Velvet Cake, what do you think, genius. Seriously Sammy, it's time like this I wonder what I see in you."_

"That's easy, my killer body and my huge..."

"Hey, you coming." Dean snapped angrily, startling Sam. He turned to see his brother glowering down at him through the window.

Gabriel chuckled down the line as Sam held up a finger at him. _"Look, I can't say what's on the tablet, only a prophet an read the thing, but considering the demon tablet can close the gates of hell, it's even money on the angel tablet being able to put heaven on lock down. No wonder they want it."_ he hummed thoughtfully.

"Do you think Cas is working for heaven?" Sam asked cautiously, hoping the angel was too distracted to listen into their conversation.

 _"Probably."_ Gabriel muttered, his tone regretful.

"Got it." Sam nodded, looking up at Dean.

 _"Don't give it to him."_ Gabriel warned.

Sam rolled his eyes, shoving open the car door.

"Are you finished? I don't think I can take Megstiel in there." he grunted, nodding at the house. "What's he say?"

"That we can't trust Cas." Sam replied quietly, giving his brother an apologetic smile.

"Great, so how are we meant to get this damn tablet?"

 _"Ditch him and go alone."_ Gabriel remarked down the lie. _"And did Dean just say Megstiel?"_

"Yes." Sam sighed. "And we don't know what's going to be down there, we might need some angelic assistance, and Cas is the only ace we have." Sam winched almost as soon as he'd finished speaking, the long silence confirming his error. "I didn't... Ga..."

_"If at all possible, don't let Cas take the tablet back to heaven. We have no idea what's on it. - Oh and y'might not want to let him know you're on to him, I don't know what he'll do."_

"Sure." Sam agreed, closing the car door with a heavy slam. "Oh, and Gabe?"

"Yeah?"

Sam swallowed thickly, the words catching in his throat yet again, despite his desperate desire to voice them. "I'll call when we have it."

_"Be careful,_ _**both** _ _of you."_

Sam smiled as he lowered the phone, ending the call.

"What?" Dean frowned nervously, eyes narrowing.

"Gabe told you to be careful." he grinned brightly.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Likes stating the bloody obvious, doesn't he?"

 

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

It didn't take them long to reach the abandoned building. Thankfully there was no sign of Crowley. He was bound to find them eventually however, so they were running on borrowed time. According to Meg, the ones they'd toasted weren't the only team in town, which meant Crowley wouldn't be alone either.

"So this is it." Meg announced confidently. "The basement."

"Alright, Cas and I will head in, get our Indiana Jones on. Sam you stay here outside with Meg."

"What?" Sam snapped, looking at the angel and demon before glaring questioningly at Dean.

"We've got this." Dean insisted.

"What are you talking about Dean, I'm not letting you go in there alone." he insisted firmly.

"He won't be alone." Cas reminded him harshly.

Sam turned sharp concerned eyes on Cas, his lips pressed into a thin line. _Don't let him know you suspect._ "That's not what I mean." Sam fixed eyes with Dean, silently reminding him of what Gabriel had said. Did he really expect him to let them go in there alone, when Cas couldn't be trusted? "Meg can hang here, watch our backs?"

"Oh what, now you trust Meg?" Dean scoffed.

"Hey, I got you this far." Meg argued, insulted.

"Shut up Meg, Dean..."

"Sam, we'll be fine." Dean snapped firmly. "Stay with Meg." he warned, already marching away with Cas.

Sam inhaled slowly, watching them leave with a heavy weight in his chest.

"It's not nice being ditched at the prom, is it Sam." Meg chuckled. "Oh, I forgot..." she smirked knowingly.

"Shut up, Meg." Sam growled furiously, marching back to the car for the spray cans. He tossed one to Meg and stomped towards the building.

"So, I'm surprised it took you so long to find me." Meg said casually spraying the warning on the concrete.

"Sam gritted his teeth and ignored the demon's eyes on him.

"You did look for me? - I took how many bullets for you guys and you didn't even look for me?" Meg gapped at him, eyes wide. "Like once?"

Sam gave her an almost apologetic look and shrugged.

"Huh, my hero." she murmured sarcastically.

"No disrespect but you haven't been the most...trustworthy person in our lives Meg. I just figured you'd split."

Meg huffed, "Wow. - Okay, so what have you two been doing while I was being tortured?"

Sam glanced at her briefly before moving on another wall.

"Seriously, you're not going to tell me?"

Sam took a breath. He didn't see the point in keeping most of it a secret, so he talked. He filled her in on what happened to Dick Roman, to Dean and Cas, before he even realised it he was spilling everything about the past couple of years to her. He didn't mention Gabriel by name but he told her about their relationship from beginning to their separation. He stopped before the reunion, she didn't need to know they were together now. That he was happy. - Like e's said, she wasn't the most trustworthy person.

"Okay, there's just one part I don't understand. You hit a dog and you stopped, why?" Meg frowned.

"That whole story," Sam frowned, turning to stare at the woman. "And that's what you take away?"

Meg shrugged dismissively. "I heard the rest, you fell in love with a unicorn, and it was beautiful, then sad, then sadder. I laughed, I cried, I puked in my mouth a little. - And honestly I kinda get it."

Sam frowned down at her. "Really."

Meg sighed, her gaze flickering over Sam's shoulder. "We've got company." she murdered, turning slowly to face Crowley.

"Love what you've done with the place." Crowley greeted. "You really think all that was going to keep me out forever."

"At least long enough for Dean and Cas to get the tablet and get out." Sam replied.

"Castiel, so that's who's been poking y boys, and not in the sexy way. - I've got a bone to pick with you moose, for what you did to my poor dog."

Sam straightened, so Crowley didn't know it was Gabriel, which was at least a small weight lifted.

"Are you going to talk us to death or get down to it already?" Meg asked, bored.

"There's my whore. I'm not here for my dearly departed though, I'm here for the stone with the funny scribbles on it."

"Well that's not gonna happen." Sam said, his fingers tightening around the demon knife.

"I love it when you get all tough, touches me right were my bathing suit goes."

Sam winced at the mental image, before catching Meg's eyes.

"Go." she ordered. "Save your brother and my...my unicorn." she smiled sadly.

Sam frowned at her for only a moment before pushing it all aside and taking off towards the entrance. When he found the vault, Dean was alone. "Where's Cas?"

"He's gone." Dean grunted. "Meg?"

"We've got to go. Now!"

 

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

They arrived back at the bunker a little before midnight. The drive home had been mostly carried out in silence, the only conversation being the twenty odd minutes in which Dean had explained what had happened with Cas. After that though not a word had passed either of their lips.

Sam climbed out of the Impala at the front entrance and the pair slowly made their way inside. It wasn't a surprise to find all the lights off, but for the corridors, which was why Sam startled at the sound of Gabriel's voice. Turning he watched the man walk towards them with a streaming mug cradled in his hands.

"You're home." he remarked, looking between them. "Where's Cas?"

Sam inhaled slowly as Dean marched angrily passed him, not so much as a word of good night, Sam turned back to Gabriel with a sigh, shaking his head.

"I didn't say anything." he snapped defensively, his free hand raised. "I was just asking about my brother, I didn't mean anything?"

Sam sighed once again, flinging his arm around his lover's shoulders. "I know, it wasn't you, it's just been a hard night. I'll tell you everything in bed." he muttered.

He herded Gabriel down the corridor and into their room where he dropped his bag and fell tiredly on the couch with a heavy weary sigh, his head falling back and his eyes closing.

"Okay, what happened? Where's my brother?" Gabriel asked warily, settling his mug down on the night stand.

"Gone." Sam replied, his eyes remaining closed. "He split with the angel tablet."

"What? Dammit Sam, I told you not to let him talk it!"

"I didn't let him do anything. I wasn't even in the room. If I had been I'd be bringing him back to you in pieces." Sam growled, sitting up straight, his furious hazel eyes fixed on his lover.

Gabriel's shoulders stiffened. "What did he do?"

"What did he do?" Sam scoffed coldly. "He only beat the living hell out of Dean. He almost killed him."

Gabriel took a slow breath, lowering himself down on the end of the bed, his head dropping into his hands. "He's okay though?" he looked up suddenly. "He looks fine, which means Cas healed him."

Sam dragged his fingers through his hair. "Yeah, according to Dean he was pretty close to killing him and then he just stopped. He thinks the tablet cut the connection between Cas and Naomi

"Naomi?" Gabriel frowned.

"The angel that's been controlling him. He told Dean she'd gotten him out of Purgatory and has been messing with his head. All that shit he's been pulling, being distant, killing Samandriel, it was all her."

Gabriel pinched the bridge of his nose. "Dammit." he grunted furiously. "I can't believe they're still pulling that shit."

"You know her?"

Gabriel shrugged. "The name doesn't ring a bell. - Don't look at me like that, do you know how many angels there are in heaven? I can't be expected to remember all of them."

"You remembered Cas?"

Gabriel smiled warmly, his eyes sad. "Castiel is different." he took a breath and got to his feet, pacing the room slowly.

Sam watched him for a few minutes before getting to his feet and shrugging out of his jacket and shirt. "So how are you feeling?"

"Fine." Gabriel murmured absently.

Sam let him wallow in his thoughts and began to strip, padding over to the bed in his underpants.

"So Cas stopped?" Gabriel asked suddenly, turning to look at Sam, while the hunter made himself comfortable beneath the sheets. "Was that before or after he touched the tablet."

"What does it matter?"

"Call it curiosity." Gabriel shrugged.

Sam frowned thoughtfully, replaying Dean's retelling of the event. "Before, I think. Why? - It had to have been before." he nodded more confidently.

Gabriel's face broke out into a wide grin as he headed for the bed, tossing his robe across the room.

"What are you grinning about?" Sam watched him suspiciously.

"I just love being right, you know that." Gabriel chuckled, climbing to straddle Sam's lap.

"Right?" Sam frowned, his hands resting on the man's hips. "About what?"

"Cas." Gabriel whispered, leaning forward to brush his lips against Gabriel's.

Sam stared at him bemused and Gabriel rolled his eyes. "The tablet didn't save Cas from killing Dean, Cas stopped himself." he spelt out slowly.

"Huh?"

Gabriel shifted closer till their chest were flush against one another, his knees bend up against Sam's ribs and his dick trapped between their stomachs, while Sam's pressed against the seam of his ass. He stroked his fingers through Sam's long lush hair. "As cliché as it sounds, Sammy-kins, the only think strong enough to override heaven's brain washing like that is free will. - And nothing says free will like love." he grinned.

Sam stared for a moment before rolling his eyes, scoffing.

"It's true. Cas couldn't kill Dean, he'd die first."

"You're serious." Sam frowned.

"Deadly." the ex-archangel smirked triumphantly, leaning forward to press a kiss to Sam's lips.

Sam pulled away, meeting the man's amber eyes. "Then why'd he split? Why'd he tell Dean he didn't trust him with the tablet?"

Gabriel stared at the hunter like he'd grown a second head. "Seriously? Sam you're currently trying to close the gates of hell, and as a consequence Crowley has every demon on earth out for your head. What do you think heaven will do if they know you have the ability to shut down heaven too? You think they were working together before," he shook his head.

Sam stared at him thoughtfully. "He split to protect us. - Protect Dean."

Gabriel grinned smugly, only to sober a second later. "He's drawing the fire. - He's a dead man walking, and he knows it." his fingers brushing thoughtful circles into Sam's shoulders.

"We'll just have to find him before they do, then."

"If Cas doesn't want to be found, he won't be. - At least not by you. We'll just have to hope he comes home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure this chapter worked out as well as I'd hoped. I found myself using more episode dialogue than I originally intended. I would be nice to know what you thin. - Also, if you find any spelling/grammar mistakes, please feel free to drop me a line, but actually correct me don't just say I have spelling mistakes, because obviously I can't see them or they wouldn't be there in the first place. Thank you for reading, hope to hear from you.
> 
> Until next time, toodles.


	21. Chapter 21

Sam woke slowly to something wet against the inside of his thigh, groaning he reached down blindly to wipe at it only to find his fingertips tingling as they met hair. Blinking himself fully awake Sam dropped his gaze and inhaled sharply at the sight of Gabriel's head, the man's tongue playing slowly up his thigh to the crease at the top of his leg. His whiskey warm gaze flicking up to meet Sam's with lush and mischief.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" he asked huskily, sex practically dripping from his tongue.

Sam moaning filthily his fingers parting to threat through the ex-angel's fine soft hair, his hip craning upward invitingly. "Yes." he grunted, his eyes heavily and insistent.

Gabriel grinned wickedly as he slowly dragged his tongue up the velvet steel shaft of Sam's impressive length, swirling leisurely at the head, teasing.

Sam groaned pathetically, his breath catching, his head rolling back against the pillow while his fingers tightened even further, causing Gabriel to moan, his tongue taking an unhurried trek back down the length.

Sam allowed the sensations to flow through him, savouring the measured pace of Gabriel's attention. Gasping and bulking when the older man finally parted his lips and swallowed him entirely. The head of his weeping cock brushing the back of the other man's throat. "Ah..." he half breathed, half groaned. "I...love... - _that_." his thighs trembling with the intensity of the swiftly approaching orgasm.

Gabriel made a noise that caused his throat to constrict, dragging Sam to the finish almost violently. He looked down, forcing his eyes to stay open and fixed as he watched Gabriel continue to swallow, small beads of cum and spit seeping out of the corners of his mouth, his lips tightened around Sam's withering cock.

Spend and wrung out, Sam fell back against the pillow, breathing heavy and glistening with sweat, his eyes closed as he fought to regain his equalibrium. He barely registered the weight leaving the bed breifly, not until it was back, stretched over him. Hot flesh pressed to hot flesh and damp swollen lips teasing his own. He instantly surrendered to them, opening his mouth, groaning pleasantly at the taste of himself. His hand lifted to cradle the back of his lover's head as they lost themselves in the kiss.

It felt like forever since they'd done this, and part of Sam couldn't help but wonder if he was dreaming. He felt the heavy weight of Gabriel's own erection and instinctively parted his legs.

If anyone had told Sam two years ago, hell one year ago that he'd crave the feeling of having another man inside him, he'd probably would have laughed. Yet, he did. In a bizarre way it was the most connected he'd ever felt to another living soul in all his life. Sex with Gabriel was mutually satisfying in a way he hadn't even thought possible. It was incredible, powerful. He wouldn't say sex before had been bad. He'd never say he hadn't felt connected to Jessica, or Madison, Sarah or Ruby. It was just a different kind of connection. - And it was hard to believe he'd almost missed out of feeling it. If he'd never returned, he'd never have known.

Gabriel broke the kiss, pushing himself up, his palms pressing either side of Sam's head into the thick pillow. Looking down, his thin yet swollen lips curving into a satisfied smirk. He didn't say anything, instead leaning forward to press another brief kiss to Sam's lips before stretching across to yank open the nightstand draw, where he frantically ruffled around for the tube.

"Huh-uh!" he announced in triumph, leaning back to grin down at Sam.

Sam lifted his knees, bracing his feet flat against the mattress and waited for Gabriel. The ex-angel made himself comfortable between Sam spread legs and emptied what was left of the lube onto his fingers.

Sam's back arched off the bed at the first touch of Gabriel's slick fingers caressing his entrance. "Ah...yes. Ah...f-fuck." he groaned loudly, eyes fluttering closed. "M-more." he panted.

"Impatient much."

"Damn...straight." Sam gritted out through clenched teeth.

Gabriel chuckled huskily, bending forward to press his open mouth to his lovers toned torso, grinning at the feel of the muscles fluttering at his touch. He gave another sweep with his slick finger before pressing at the tight hole, demanding entry. Sam exhaled a long serene sigh and let his whole body relax. When it did Gabriel's finger easily slipped past the barrier. Sam took a sharp breath, arching his back. His fingers curled tightly into the sheets and flexed when Gabriel worked at his inner walls, teasing and tempting them to loosen further.

Taking his time, Gabriel prepared the younger man. Enjoying himself as he drove the hunter crazy with his leisurely pace.

Sam rocked against the fingers, his internal muscles clenching as one finger became two, then three. He was breathless and peppered with sweat, his moans echoing off the tile and concrete walls, thankful that he no longer had to worry about the flimsiness of hotel walls.

Unfurling his fingers from the sheets he reached out for the Gabriel, gliding one palm up the older man's arm to grab at his shoulder, while Gabriel arched over him, right arm holding himself up while the other hand worked to stretch him open. Sam's other hand found the back of the ex-angel's head, pulling him closer so as to capture his mouth. His teeth teasing at Gabriel's lower lip before he dove in for a deeper exploratory kiss.

By the time Gabriel was breaking for air, Sam's body was relaxed and open. Gabriel drew his fingers free and sat back on his heels, reaching for the last of the lube. "A drug store trip is needed." he muttered, tossing the empty flat tube across the room to land near the door.

"As...soon as we're...done." Sam gasped, grinning brightly while lifting his legs, hands gripping the backs of his knees. He sucked in a sharp welcome breath when Gabriel's hard slick cock stretched him further while forcing its way into his ass. The deeper Gabriel got the more his body shook, Sam's legs slipping easily from his grasp to press against his lovers hips.

Once Gabriel was comfortably buried to the hilt, after what felt like eternity, he took a moment. Looking down at Sam, the fingers of his right hand combing gently though the over long brown strands of hair. Sam looked up into those warm amber eyes and brushed at the man's swollen lower lip with his thumb.

They just lay there, pressed flesh to flesh staring at one another in a suddenly silent room. Sam licked at his lips. That now familiar warmth spread through his chest and he closed the gap between them to kiss Gabriel, soft, slow and tender.

The desperation of a few seconds ago faded into something else. Something deep and meaningful. Gabriel slowly withdrew, both his mouth and his hips, before thrusting forward. Sam's body jerk with the motion, but his gaze remained locked with Gabriel's.

When they'd started this, Sam had expected and wanted a quick and rough fuck, but now...? Now he wanted it to last forever. Gabriel moved within him at a slow but unrelenting pace, Sam rocking up to meet each of the man's thrusts. Sweat pooled in every valley of Sam's body, made worse by the small beads dripping down from Gabriel's over heated form.

Gabriel shifted angle and Sam's breath hitched, back arching with the spark of pleasure that shot up his spine.

The moans that had echoed off the walls were now nothing by breathless gasps and muttered declarations of pleasure and perfection.

It couldn't last though, the need to orgasm crept up on them all too soon and Gabriel couldn't hold back any longer. The rock of his hips changed to rough snaps, and Sam's eyelids drifted closed. The room was once again filled with loud moans and pants.

Sam was surprised by his second orgasm in as many minutes, his whole body trembling. He was still shaking when he felt Gabriel go ridged and wet heat pouring into him. Sam clenched tightly around Gabriel's still thrusting cock until the ex-angel collapsed against him, his quick warm breath teasing at Sam's damp chest.

They lay there, still connected, just existing while the world carried on without them.

 

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

Dean threw back the covers and hurriedly grabbed his jeans. He didn't look back at the bed, didn't want to face what he'd done. Again. He just needed to get out. Away from the shame. Away from the pain. - Away from the truth.

 

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

Sam hadn't been running in ages. It wasn't about not that the time, but rather not having the desire to, but today he felt incredible. Alive and awake, ready to face the world in a way he hadn't in a very long time. He knew it was because the fear and worry concerning Gabriel had released its death grip. Gabriel was looking and obviously feeling much better, if the last two mornings were any indication. That pale half dead look the older man had been sporting for months was finally fading and he had a spring in his step. He was almost like the old Gabriel again, minus the power outage.

Sam jogged up the dirt path and then down the concrete steps, sweat dripping from his damp hair and peppering his skin. He pushed open the large iron door and took a slow stroll along the corridor until he reached the second door. Stepping back into his home, Sam took a deep breath and let out a sigh of relief, glad that the only sound was that of the iron slamming behind him.

He let his gaze flicker towards the library as he tugged out his earbuds, smiling warmly at the sight of Claire, who had her head bowed over a pile of books and papers. She'd been buried in school work, elbow deep, for weeks, trying to catch up on what she'd missed so she could graduate. "Hey." He called breathlessly.

"Hey, Pops." She replied, not even bothering to look up, simply waving her pencil at him, and Sam smirked. He still couldn't believe that he was Pops. Did he look like a pops to anyone? He was way too young, but Gabriel was an expert at Rock, Paper, Scissors apparently, so here he was, Pops Winchester.

Sam shook his head and turned to head for the kitchen, desperate to quench his thirst. Gabriel met him half way, a cold bottle of water in hand. Sam grinned gratefully down at his lover, pressing a lingering kiss to his lips. – Unsurprised when the ex-archangel hooked his fingers in the neck of Sam's sweat soaked shirt to thrust his tongue as far as it could reach into his mouth, without ending Sam's life.

"For god's sake, you've got a friggin' room." Dean groaned, interrupting the pair and causing Sam to swiftly break the contact.

He watched his brother stomp off down the corridor before disappearing into the kitchen, and Sam exhaled.

"You need to get him out of here, before I do something you'll regret." Gabriel grumbled thought gritted teeth, casually strolling pat the tall hunter. Thankfully there was no real venom in the threat.

Sam turned to follow. "Give him a break…."

"Don't tempt me." Gabriel huffed, humourlessly.

"Come, Gabe, after what Cass did…" Sam sighed, the memory of Castiel's betrayal of Dean, the pain in his brother's eyes as he'd filled Sam in on the events in the crypt.

Gabriel paused at the entrance of the crow's nest, turning to face Sam. "Which is precisely why I have been nice and kept my mouth shut the last couple weeks, but that hasn't stopped him baiting me and biting my head off at every turn. He even ripped into Claire yesterday, for nothing. She was just studying."

Sam closed his eyes, inhaling. He knew, he'd heard it from the hall and he pulled Dean up on it. They'd ended up yelling blue murder at one another in the middle corridor, Dean storming out to go get a drink. – He'd rolled back it at 2am that morning, stinking of sex according to Gabriel. Which wasn't a surprise to anyone.

"I think he needs to go kill something before we kill him." Gabriel continued.

Sam rubbed at the back of his neck. "I know," he sighed, "I'll find a case. Anything."

Gabriel nodded, carrying on across the open operations centre, his head turning to look into the library.

Sam debated going to have _another_ word with Dean, or seeking refuge from the whole mess in the library with Claire, but shook his head. He stank and needed a shower. So he headed off after Gabriel, catching up to him quickly.

Stepping into the bedroom after Gabriel, Sam dropped down on the couch chugging the water, then reaching down to unlace his running shoes.

"Maybe you could take Claire with you?" Gabriel asked suddenly, making Sam start and look up.

"What?"

Gabriel shrugged from where he sat on the end of the bed. "She's been…feeling….lost, lately."

Sam frowned, leaning heavily on his knees. "She seems fine to me. She hasn't said anything."

"Why would she, she knows how you feel about her hunting." Gabriel reminded him. He leant back on his palms, body arching as he watched Sam stare back at him. "She's not fitting in the way she did in Indiana." He informed Sam calmly, "and well….we've all been kind of distracted lately. You and Dean heading out on hunts, me being sick, she hasn't got a date for prom."

Sam stared. "That's not for what, a month? She's still got time."

Gabriel rolled his eyes, huffing. "She's the new kid, Sam. She hasn't even bothered making friends, she's feeling…insecure, which considering everything that's happened, isn't a surprise. Is it?"

"And hunting with me and Dean is going to make her feel better?" he asked sceptically.

"It might help her feel like the floor isn't going to crumble beneath her again." Gabriel replied harshly. "Like she belongs here. – With _you_." He raised a brow meaningfully and Sam's stomach tightened at the implication.

Sam hadn't exactly been a stable foundation, had he? He's split the moment things had gotten…scary. Then he'd crashed back into her new safe and secure life, only to uproot her and drag her to Kansas. He shook his head at the memory of the last few months, the chaos. How he'd tried to keep her from hunting, insisted she go to school, go off to college. God, did she think he was rejecting her? Pushing her away?

"You might get your wish of her going to college, Sam, but if she doesn't feel like she belongs here, like we want her, she may never come back."

"Maybe that would be for the best." Sam muttered quietly.

Gabriel glared at him. "And how did that work out for you, Sam?" he spat, "cutting yourself off from your family? – Oh, I forgot, you didn't need anyone, did you? You had _her_." He shot to his feet, heading for the door. "Well, I'd rather not lose the closest thing I'll ever have to a daughter because she doesn't feel like she belongs here." He yanked open the door violently.

"Hey!" Sam snapped, shooting to his feet and quickly grabbing the other man by the shoulder, halting him.

"What?"

Sam narrowed his eyes. "We're not going to lose Claire." He insisted.

Gabriel huffed, shaking his head disbelievingly. "You're dad lost you."

Sam inhaled sharply at the reminder. It was something he knew he'd always regret, pushing his dad away as he'd done. Ignoring him for so many years, fighting with him constantly. "Claire isn't me." He muttered.

"You're right, he was your _blood_."

Sam forced Gabriel to turn and face him, gripping his shoulders firmly, meeting the man's fearful gaze. "A wise old drunk once said family don't end with blood. Claire may not be our blood but she's family and we're not going to lose her, whatever she does, wherever she goes. – And I'm make sure she knows that, okay."

Gabriel exhaled in a rush, dropping his gaze and letting his shoulders slump.

Sam took in every inch of the older man's features, the wrinkles and fine laughter lines around his eyes. He could see the insecurity without even looking for it. It wasn't just Claire Gabriel feared losing. Sam's chest tightened, his hands relinquishing the shorter man's shoulders to cradle his jaw, forcing his face up and their eyes to meet once again. Sam knew he had the words to set Gabriel's mind and heart at ease, reassure him that he belonged just as much as Claire did. – That he was loved.

Sam took a breath, opening his mouth to say them, only to feel them crumble on his tongue. The acid scent of sulpha, the heat of fire and the glow of blistering orange consuming human flesh burst to life in his mind. – Anger sparked inside him, why couldn't he just forget the past and focus on the future. Why couldn't he say the words he knew, deep down, where true.

Instead he lowered his mouth to Gabriel's and tried to express everything he felt, a silent confession he prayed Gabriel would understand and accept.

Blindly he closed the door.

 

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

Sam slipped out of bed, smiling down at his sleeping ex-angel, and grabbed a pile of fresh clothes before heading for the bathroom. Sam allowed himself to get lost under the warm water, letting the spray wash away the sweat and regret. His mind replayed what Gabriel had said. He'd promised to talk to Claire, to try and convince her that she belonged with them. That no matter what this would be her home.

Gabriel has suggested taking Claire on a hunt with them, but Sam couldn't ignore how uneasily that idea sat with him. Gabriel has said himself, Claire wasn't fitting in at school, Claire had told him she was behind, which was why she was studying so much. Dragging her off on a hunt wasn't something Sam felt was right to do. Not with graduation around the corner.

_She doesn't have a date for prom._

Sam's heart tightened at the thought of that. He'd been lucky to get a date for prom, but he knew people who didn't. He knew how humiliating it had been for them. If they'd stayed in Indiana she'd have at least had friends to go with, if things with Isaac had fallen through, but here she had no one. Maybe a hunt would at the very least, distract her from it all.

Drying off, Sam dressed and headed off towards her room. He found it empty, and decided that she had to be in the library, but there was no sign of her there either.

It took him almost twenty minutes to find her. Alone in the armoury, Claire stood, feet braced, gun in hand, taking shots at a paper target. He paused in the doorway watching Claire take perfect shots at the white paper, her features tense with concentration. Each bullet hitting its mark.

He smiled to himself as he watched her, remembering those few short weeks when he'd taught her how to shoot probably out the back of the house. For a few hours at least, Sam had felt normal for once.

The clip finally ran out and Sam stepped forward. "Hey." He smiled, drawing her attention finally. He looked down the aisle at the target, and gapped at the perfect cluster of holes. "Nice." He praised proudly.

"Thanks." She murmured, "It's a good stress reliever, and it's not like I have anything else to do around here."

Sam's gut clenched guilty. "Sorry, Claire. I know leaving Indiana hasn't been easy for you. Leaving your friends." He sighed, his own memories haunting him again. The friends and lovers he was forced to abandon because they had to keep moving. "I remember what that was like, and if things had been different…"

"Whatever." Claire said, raising her hand to take another shot.

Sam's hand quickly lifting to halt her. "Claire."

"I get it, okay." Claire said snappishly, lowering her arm. "I know why we left and I'm fine."

"Really? 'cause you don't…."

"I just feel…" she shrugged, "I don't know, trapped. It's like we've, me and Gabriel, have been locked away in this place while you and Dean get to go out and having all the fun."

"Claire, that's not…"

"Isn't it? I go to school, I come home, I eat, I study, and I sleep and start all over again. – But at least I have school, even if everyone hates me, at least I'm out of here for a while. Dad's stuck…." She snapped angrily, "He had a job, he had a life, and now….? Nothing. Just you and these concrete walls."

Sam dropped his gaze. He hadn't really given Claire and Gabriel's needs any consideration, he'd just wanted them safe. He leant against the partition, dragging his hand though his damp hair. "I guess I owe you both an apology." He said regretfully.

Claire sighed, turning to mirror Sam's stance. "I'm not blaming you, really. I'm glad you brought us here with you, rather than dumping us off in another town and leaving again. It's just… I don't know, I t feels like a prison sometimes. I know you don't want me hunting, I know you think I should have a normal life, but I can't, Pops. My life stopped being normal the day my dad walked out on me and my mom, and gave himself over to Castiel. There's no ignoring what's out there for me anymore. I lost my whole family but I found you guys and I just want to…." She trailed off as her throat closed up around the words.

Turning instantly, Sam pulled her into his arms, holding her tight, and his lips on her hair. "You know you're family, we love you as if you were our own." He choked out, "That is why I'm trying to protect you from this life. It destroys lives, Claire. It's taken my parents, my grandparents, my friends and my lovers, and I don't want your name on that list of the dead."

Claire pulled back, lifting her tear stained face. "I'm already on it. It's just a matter of where and when. Even if I go off to college, it's still going to find me, it found you. You can't run away from it. You tried."

"I know but I was different. I…they'd been following me, manipulating me since before I was born. They had a plan for me, and Dean. You don't have that."

"Says who?" She snapped, yanking herself from his hold. "Maybe this is where I'm meant to be, to carry on your work. To keep the family business going?"

Sam stared down at the teenager, his grandfather's words echoing in his head. " _You're Winchesters. As long as we're alive, there's always hope.._." Sam swallowed thickly, pulling Claire to him once more.

They stood silently in one another's embrace, silently soaking in the comfort and reassurance of each other. Eventually Claire extracted herself, stepping back and turning back to the target, reaching for her gun.

"Where did you find that anyway?" Sam asked, his voice rough with emotion.

Claire nodded to a door at the other end of the room.

"Of course." Sam rolled his eyes, remembering the weapon's cage. "Stupid question."

"Yep." Claire laughed, pulling the trigger. Three sharp, perfectly timed taps in the papers centre.

"Show off."

 

**_What Doesn't Kill You_**

 

Sam was beaten to finding a case by Dean, who cornered him in the library where he was going through the obituaries, Claire sat across from him checking her own laptop.

"What is it?" he asked calmly, his eyes already moving over the police report.

"It's a case. We leave in ten." Dean said distantly, already marching away.

Sam looked up from the paper to watch his brother vanish from sight, then he turned to look at Claire, weighing his options. He'd promised to take her on a hunt, he'd spent the last hour reviewing suitable possibilities, wanting something simple and safe. – Well as safe as he could get. – A possible vamp attack was not safe, it was far from safe.

It was as if Claire could read him mind, her whole body slumping in defeat and surrender. She pulled her lip between her teeth and Sam could practically yelling at him in her head. Sam's gaze flickered between the paper in his hand and Claire. Inhaling slowly he squared his shoulders while getting to his feet. "You heard him," Sam muttered, already moving to head back to his room, "we leave in ten, get moving."

Claire looked at him surprised and almost fearful, as if he was going to announce he was just kidding. Then she was out of her seat and rushing to her room while Sam slowly followed after her, his heart light and warm.

Dean wasn't going to be happy of course, but well he'd just have to suck it up. Claire was family now and she wanted in, and despite his fears, Sam had reluctantly agree to take her along. He hadn't given up hope of college in her future though, maybe if he actually showed her more of the life she supposedly wanted, she'd see just how hard and dangerous it could really be, and seek another path.

"Vampires?" Gabriel frowned worriedly as he watched Sam pack, "You're taking her to hunt vampires?" he huffed, unimpressed.

"You wanted me to let her get more involved. You were all for me supporting her hunting, and suddenly now you doing want her going?"

Gabriel glowered at him, "I wanted you to take her on a few salt and burns, let her feel like she's part of this," he waved his hand around aimlessly, "I didn't expect you to take her on actual hunts, Sam! Vampires are dangerous!"

Sam didn't meet his gaze as he ripped the zipper closed, "I'm fully aware of how dangerous vampires are, thank you." He huffed, frustration tainting his tone. When he looked up Gabriel was still glaring at him. "Look, this might work in our favour,"

"Our favour?" Gabriel seethed, brow quirked.

Sam rolled his eyes. "If she see just how really dangerous this life is, she might give up this ridiculous desire to be a part of it, and actually listen to us and go to college."

Gabriel stared, lips a thin straight line. "That's your big plan? To scare the hunter out of her?" he huffed, shaking his head.

"It's worth a shot."

"And if it doesn't actually work?" Gabriel asked, arms folded in front of him.

Sam sighed, reaching for his duffle, "Then at least we'll have safety in numbers."

Gabriel shook his head, "You underestimate just how much that girl wants to hunt, Sam." He sighed, arms falling away from his defensive stance. "Just keep her safe."

Sam smiled, stepping up closer to the older man. "She'll be fine, I swear. She won't let her get further than three inches from my side."

Gabriel huffed disbelievingly, rolling his eyes. "Just be clear about this Winchester, she gets hurt, you might as well not come back, cause I _will_ kill you." He warned firmly.

An icy chill shot through Sam's whole body and he swallowed. "Noted." He muttered, hiking his duffle up onto his shoulder.

They headed for the crow's nest together, Claire already there and waiting impatiently, bouncing on the balls of her feet. Sam couldn't help but smile, despite the churning anxiety in his gut. "You'll call the school first thing Monday, say she's sick?"

Gabriel nodded, turning to face the teenager. "You be careful. You do everything you're told and you come back in one piece, you hear me." He warned, finger waggling in front of Claire's face, "Or you're grounded."

"I don't go anywhere anyway." Claire laughed sarcastically, "But okay."

Gabriel stepped forward, yanking the teenager into a tight hug. "Call every hour."

"You know we're not going to do that." She chuckled, gasping as he squeezed her.

"Are you going to be okay?" Sam asked.

Gabriel released Claire and turned to look at his lover, reassuringly. "I'll be fine," his eyes meeting Sam's meaningfully, "I've never felt better."

"What's this?" Dean demanded, appearing suddenly.

"Claire's coming with us." Sam replied matter-of-factly.

"No, she's isn't." Dean argued, shaking his head. His gaze flickered to the teenager. "It's too dangerous."

"Yes, Dean, she is." Sam lent forward to press a kiss to Gabriel's lips, "We'll see you in a couple of days. Call if you need us." Then he grabbed his bag and headed for the stairs, ignoring Dean's furious glare.

"See y'later, Dad." Claire said, smiling as she pressed a kiss to the ex-angels cheek and rushed after Sam.

Dean stomped past Gabriel with an angry grumble, his booted feet slamming into the concrete.

"What no goodbye-bro-hug?" Gabriel teased.

"Blow me." Dean snapped over his shoulder.

Gabriel ignored his anger, "Bring them back Dean," he called as the hunter reached the top of the metal stairs. "In one piece."

Dean paused, looking down at Gabriel with a narrowed glare, before his features cleared and he gave a sharp nod and disappeared though the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry it's been so long since I last posted, life has gotten in the way and I didn't have time to work on more than one fic, but hopefully things should settle down in the New Year and I can get back to posting monthly.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter, feedback is always appreciated.
> 
> HAPPY NEW YEAR, I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A WONDERFUL 2018


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter has been so long, despite the promise to keep to a more regular schedule, but I kind of had to rewriter the whole thing because I realized how pointless my first draft was. I hope this is better. It’s mostly focused around Claire, so if you don’t want to read it, you can skip though it. Though I’d prefer you did, as it will likely be referenced back to later in the story.

Claire exhaled a long wary sigh and slammed the laptop closed. When Sam had said he was bringing her along, she'd hoped it meant he'd finally come around to her joining the family business. That he's accepted she wanted to hunt, and this was her chance to learn on the job. She probably should have known better, really.

 Almost from the moment they'd arrived in town, she'd been put on research duty, while Sam and Dean got all dressed up in their smart FBI suits and had headed out to meet with the local sheriff. She's argued, obviously. Tried to convince them that she could go with them.

 "And if someone see you?" Dean had quizzed, brows raised.

 Claire huffed, shrugging nonchalantly while glaring at her uncle. "Take your daughter to work day." she'd argued back logically.

 When Dean had laughed, shaking his head, she'd fallen onto the dining chair and shot him murderous looks.

 "Claire, no one will believe you're either of our daughter. You're way to old."

 Claire had rolled her eyes, mostly out of protest. She knew he was right, of course he was right, didn't mean she was going to smile and agree. "I might as well have stayed at the bunker." she'd crumbled, reaching furiously for the computer.

She'd heard Dean grumble something but had been able to make out what was said. Then they were gone, leaving her alone in the motel room.

That was almost two hours ago, and frankly Claire was bored and pissed. There was nothing online, and the police radio was silent. Shoving herself out of the chair, she snatched her leather jacket off the bed and headed for the door, not forgetting to grab the key. If they weren't willing to show her the ropes, she'd just have to work them out for herself. - And she was hungry.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

The barman had been no help at all, unless testing her patience was considered helpful. Frankly it had taken all her self-restraint not to stab him in the face after the third time he tried to get her to head out back with him. - Even after she'd revealed her age.

With no leads on the victim, and with a text from Sam saying they were looking into a lead and order in a pizza, Claire had grabbed a table in the far corner and ordered herself a burger, making herself comfortable, and just letting her mind wander. Hunting wasn't ease, but she'd known that, yet sit was what she wanted to do. Sam had said it was a natural reaction to losing her parents, that she just wanted revenge, but Claire didn't think that was true. She wanted to help. It was like a calling, a quiet voice in the back of her mind telling her to fight back against the constant darkness. It didn't matter what Sam wanted for her. This was the life she wanted for herself, and if Sam and Dean, and even Gabriel had a problem with that, well…she'd just have to hit the road.

The wind had picked up when she stepped out of the bar, and she tugged her jacket tighter around her. It was almost 10pm, and while neither of the brothers had decided to check in with her, she was beginning to feel an uncomfortable need to be back in the safety of the motel room. She could pick up her investigation tomorrow.

She was heading back towards the motel when she heard it, a struggle in an alley across the street. A muffled scream that set her heart racing. Looking around, she frowned briefly as the few people that were making their way through town seemed to have either not heard the noise or were willingly ignoring it. - Though considering she could hear it from across the street, she'd got with option two.

Looking both ways, she rushed across the busy road and towards the alley. She waited until she was wrapped in the cover of darkness before pulling her weapon, not wanted to be seen with a gun in a strange town. The noise was coming from the end of the alley, and when she grabbed and switched on her small flashlight and aimed it, she's caught sight of two figures, and man going by his build, holding onto a struggling woman. His head was bend over her neck and Claire felt her heart begin to race. Either he was giving her one hell of a hickey, or he was feeding.

Speeding up, she raised her weapon. "Hey, you okay there?" she called, and felt her stomach twist at the desperate weak cry for her. "Police, step away! Now!"

The man turned, teeth bared as he hissed at her furiously. Claire didn't even hesitate, squeezing the trigger and pinning the gun with three bullets. He cried out in pain, but barreled towards her, his previous victim forgotten and running away in the opposite direction. Claire felt a mix of anger and relief at the sight, before she was slammed fully into the wall, her head bouncing off the brick with a sickening crack.

"Bitch." the vampire hissed, fingers tightening around her throat. "It's fine," he huffed, shaking his head. "You'll do just as well."

Her head was spinning, and his face seemed to swim in front of her, darkness crowding in from all sides, and then she felt it. The sharp sting of teeth against her throat, the warm trickle of blood rolling down beneath her jacket and shirt. She tried to push him off, tried to punch and kick, and scratch, but it was too late. Her legs turned to jelly beneath her and her heart slowed.

 

**__What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

Sam stared at the house. It looked normal, white picket fence and all. He felt a twinge in his chest, the memory of the house back in Indiana. The thought instantly brought Claire to mind and he felt another twinge, he should probably check in.

"You coming?" Krissy called.

Tugging his cell out of his pocket, he shot off a quick text telling Claire to order intake out and they'd be back in an hour, then he slid it back into his pocket and followed Dean.

"Not what I'd call a compound." Dean remarked, glancing between the house and Sam.

Stepping inside didn't ease that feeling of loss and regret. The house was homely, with dark wood panelling in the hall. He watched Krissy and her friends vanish into separate parts of the house, the girls in the living room, with its green walls, book shelves and comfy looking couch and armchairs. Books open on the coffee table. The boy, he'd slipped into the kitchen, and Sam could see him from where he stood, helping himself to the fruit bowl.

"Uh?" Dean grunted, stepping into the living room, gaze searching. Sam close on his heels.

"What's wrong?" Krissy asked, turning to look at them curiously.

"Just not what I expected?" Dean replied.

"And what was that?" Krissy smirked.

"A little more _Lord of the Flies_ , less Huxtables."

"Sorry to disappoint." Interrupted a smooth male voice from behind them, causing the pair to turn to greet the fellow hunter.

They'd met him before, years ago, but neither of them remembered much beyond his name. Obviously, he hadn't been someone they'd kept in their contact list, but that didn't necessarily mean anything bad. Mostly likely they just hadn't clicked the way they'd done with many of the hunters they occasionally worked with.

"Victor Rogers." he introduced himself, holding out his hand to them.

"We me, a Rugaru hunt in Washington. I'm Sam, this is Dean."

Victor looked between them, then smiled with recognition, “Oh yeas. The Winchesters."

"Right." Sam nodded.

Their reunion was interrupted when the other girl, Josephine, came up to them, her features sad but peacefully. Victor turned, opening his arms for her to step into and squeezing her tight. Sam smiled at the scene, warmth flooding his chest as he thought of Claire.

"Better now?" Victor said gently.

"Much."

"And what do we always say?"

"Move on, but never forget."

"Good." Victor smiled, "Now, don't you have a trig test in the morning?"

She nodded, smiling at them all before hurrying up the stairs. She'd barely gotten half way before Aidan strolled out of the kitchen.

"Oh, I'm good, Vic. No test. I'm gonna chill. Play video games."

"Yeah," Victor nodded, "keep dreaming. I asked you to clean your room twice and you still haven't done it. Go on." he ordered, nodding to the stairs. "And you," turning to greet Krissy.

 "Full report about the hunt on your desk by morning."

 Victor smiled at her warmly, bowing in gratitude.

 It was weirdly normal. It could almost have been him, Gabriel and Claire a couple of months ago, before it all when to hell. Sam glanced over at Dean, who looked confused and more than a little suspicious.

 "Okay, I'll be in my room." Krissy said, marching off past them all.

 "Drink?" Victor offered, turning back to them.

 "Sure." Dean grumbled, lips pinched together.

 While Victor poured them each a whisky, He and Dean made themselves comfortable on the couch.

 "Okay, so how does this work?" Dean demanded when Victor handed him a glass and took the armchair, facing them. "After--after soccer practice and, and, and the bake sale, they chop vampires' heads off?"

 "Well, yeah, I think a balanced approach is best, don't you?"

 "They're kids? They shouldn't be hunting at all." Dean insisted, angrily.

 Sam shifted awkwardly on the sofa, dropping his gaze to his glass. He knew what Dean was trying to get at, but, well they'd gone to school, he'd played soccer and dated, and gone to prom. He'd done all of that and then gone out and hunted vampires and werewolves and burned ghosts.

"You gotta break this up right now."

"When I found them, they were lost, confused and angry." Victor looked between them, "I give the family and purpose, and you wanna take all that away? Why?"

"So, they don't get killed." Sam pointed out.

"They know the risks."

"Yeah, but why take them?" Sam asked, brows pinched tight.

"Because the next generation of hunters has to be better."

"Better than what?"

"Better than us." Victor snapped warily, letting out a bitter laugh, "Come on, guys, I know your friends. I mean, Martin was insane…" he leant forward, resting his elbows on his knees, "and somebody obviously dropped Garth on his head when he was a baby, and I know you two loved that Bobby guy, but he was a barely functional alcoholic."

Sam gritted his teeth, tensing as he felt anger practically roll of Dean.

"What it." Dean warned.

"No disrespect meant. - But Josephine is an all-state athlete and National Merit Scholar. Aidan is so fast he could pick your pocket before you could blink, and Krissy, well, she's just a natural born leader and hunter."

"So, what?" Dean snapped.

"So, these kids are the cream of the crop. They are The Beatles. They are the Dream Team. And once they get their revenge…they'll be better hunters than any of us ever dreamed of."

 Sam shifted uncomfortably. He felt torn, he hated the idea of kids hunting, it was why he'd fought Claire so hard. He wanted her to have a normal life, a happy safe life. - That said, he couldn't deny that Victor had a point, there would always be monsters, even once they closed the gates of hell there would still be vamps, ghost and other creatures praying on the innocent, and those things needed to be stopped. Maybe Victor's way was the better option. Maybe training kids to take over while giving them a seemingly normal 'balanced' existence would work out best for everyone.

 How might he and Dean's lives have been different if they'd been given what Krissy had? Would his relationship with his dad have been better if John was more like Victor? Would it be better if he stopped fight against Claire, and started fighting _with_ her? Gabriel certainly thought so.

 Victor exhaled, rubbing at his eyes. "You know what I realized?" he began quietly, not looking at the boys. "These kids, they don't have to live the way we have. Crappy hotel rooms. Always moving. No family. No life." he looked up, meeting Sam's gaze. "It’s not the only way."

Sam pressed his lips together, closing his eyes.

"Alright, well we've got stuff to do." Dean said abruptly, setting his glass down on the coffee table with a loud thud, and getting to his feet.

Sam followed suit, smiling apologetically to Victor, who was also getting up.

"Of course," Victor nodded, following them to the door, "I'd say you don't have to stick around, but I know you're going to," he looked Dean dead in the eye, "reassure yourself Krissy is safe," he nodded, "So please, why don't you boys come for dinner tomorrow."

"Sure." Dean agreed.

There was a tense few seconds before they finally said goodnight and Victor closed the door.

"This is crazy." Dean grunted, marching off back to the Impala.

"Is it? They got a pretty good life." Sam argued.

"Kids aren't supposed to hunt, Sam."

"We did."

"Yeah, look what that did for us." Dean grumbled, shaking his head.

Sam couldn't help but scoff, once upon a time Dean would sing the praises of their childhood. Never acknowledging just how shitty it really was. Sam supposed it was progress that Dean was finally accepting how their upbringing had screwed over. - The irony was Sam was beginning to accept that maybe Claire hunting wouldn't be so bad. "Maybe they're doing right. Maybe they can hunt and have a real life."

"You know that's not true."

"Why, because it didn't work for us?" Sam frowned.

"Because it doesn't work for anybody."

Sam sighed, this wasn't about the kids, he suddenly realized. It was about so much more. It was about him and Gabriel, about Castiel. It was about Dean's continued belief that he couldn't be a hunter and have a family of his own. "Okay. So, what do you want to do?" he muttered warily, "Because Victor's not gonna stop this."

 "They said they were hunting nests, right?" Dean said, watching Sam over the roof of the Impala, keys in hand.

 "Yeah."

 "Well then, lets hunt it for them. That way, until we figure out what to do with Victor, they stay safe."

 Sam's shoulders slumped. "Alright, um, so what's your move?"

 "First, we head back to the motel, check on Claire."

 Sam's inhaled deeply, biting back a smile.

 "Get some sleep. In the morning, I'll head to the hospital to talk to the girl we found tied up. Something doesn't smell right 'bout that." he shook his head. "While I'm doing that, you and Claire can come back here and keep an eye on the Brady Bunch, make sure they don't go looking for any more vamps." he yanked open the car door and claimed inside.

 "Okay." Sam agreed, settling into the passenger seat.

 

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

Claire woke up with a pounding, burning headache. It took her forever to open her eyes, and when she did she instantly closed them again, the light from the bulb above her sending shocks of pain through her head. Rolling over onto her stomach, she pushed herself up, turning her back to the light before attempting once more to open her eyes.

It still hurt, but she could deal with it. Forcing the dizziness and pain away, she tried to focus on her surroundings. She was in a cabin, bunk beds and blankets scattered around, and the fresh scent of damp trees and earth filtering in from beyond the wooden logs that made up the walls.

She scrambled to her feet and tried to drag herself over to the window, only to discover after a few steps that she was chaired to the foot of the bed. The cold metal biting into her bare ankle. Looking down at herself she winced, seeing blood staining the front of her shirt and jeans.

Claire shuffled back to the bed, lowering herself down on its edge and tugged at the chain, lifting her leg to examine it more closely. Panic began to slowly creep up on her as she remembered the previous night. The argument with Sam and Dean. Skipping out of the motel without so much as leaving a note behind. The vamp in the alley.

Forgetting all about the chain at her ankle, Claire hurried began to riffle through her pockets. The vamp, assuming that was who was responsible for her being tied up right now, had emptied her pockets, which included her motel room key, her phone and her damn lock-pick.

She growled furiously at herself and punched at the bedpost, feeling her knuckle crack. Drawing her hand to her chest she shivered, the shock of her situation finally taking hold of her whole body. She felt back against the bed, her knees pressed against her chest. Her head began to pound more viciously, and her insides felt like they were on fire. She was hungry, and her stomach clenched hard with need.

 

**__What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

  _"What the hell do you mean, you can't find her!"_ Gabriel yelled down the line. _"You said you'd look after her, Sam! You fucking promised!"_

"I know." Sam muttered, breathless and pacing. Gabriel had every right to be pissed at him right now, because he'd not only broken his promise, but he'd let both Gabriel and more importantly Claire down. He shouldn't have left her hauled up in a dingy motel room all afternoon, while he and Dean went to talk to the local police sheriff.

When they'd returned to find the place empty, and a note from Claire about going to get food, he should have insisted on waiting for her to get back before heading back out. Instead what had he done? He'd changed out of his suit, scribbled a quick not telling her he and Dean were looking into something and ordering her to stay in the room, and then he'd gone off with Dean hunting down Krissy and her friends. 

 What made it worse, he hadn't so much as thought about calling Claire to check in. Granted, it was because he hadn't expected it to take so long to find the teenager, and once they had, everything had gotten a little crazy.

 "We left her in the motel, but she left."

  _"Of course, she left."_ Gabriel spat furiously, _"You took her on a hunt and then dumped her in a motel room while you and your moronic brother went out to hunt fucking vampires! What made you think for a second, she was going to just stay there? Did you forget the last time?"_

 Sam pinched the bridge of his nose tight, wincing and dropping down onto the end of the bed. _"We couldn't have taken her with us to the sheriff's office!"_ he argued back, lamely. _"How would we have explained her being there?"_

 "Take your daughter to work day!"

 Sam could almost laugh, had it not been for the fear that was growing in his gut. "Come on Gabriel?"

  _"You two asshole lie for a living, and you've never been called out on your bullshit before, you telling me you couldn't come up with something plausible between you?"_

 Sam closed his eyes, head in his hand. Of course, they could have been convinced, they'd gotten people to believe worse, and frankly, the sheriff was so gullible he'd have brought whatever they were selling.

  _"Find her Sam. Forget the damn vampires and find our daughter, or I swear to my father, I will kill you myself!"_ he seethed, ending the call.

 Sam stared down at the cell with a sigh. He then let his thumb move over the screen, pulling up Claire's contact info and hitting call.

 As it had done the last ten times he'd tried, the thing rang out and he muttered a curse under his breath. Ending the unanswered call again, he dropped his head into his hand, panic chewing up his insides. This was exactly why he hadn't wanted Claire hunting. She could be out there, hurt.

 She wouldn't be if you're just taken her along. His mind reminded him. The cell vibrated beside him and he hurried to answer, holding his breath. "Dean? Have you found her?"

 Once Sam had gotten back to the motel and found it empty, he'd called Dean. His brother had decided after leaving Victor Rogers to go talk to the woman they'd saved from the vampire, but when Sam had said that Claire was missing, Dean hadn't even hesitated, he's turned the car around and headed straight back to the motel. They'd decided that it would be a good idea for Sam to stay at the motel in case Claire returned, while Dean hit the local diners and bars. That was forty minutes ago.

  _"A barman at a local bar said he saw her six hours ago. She asked some questions about the guy killed by the river, then ordered a burger and coke, before leaving."_

 "What about the Sheriff?"

  _"No one's seen her."_ Dean sighed, clear worry tinging his normal cool determination.

 "Dammit." Sam swore, dragging his fingers through his hair. "Gabriel is going to kill us."

 He expected Dean to say something defensive, but all he heard was a long sigh and then his brother muttered, _"We'd deserve it. We shouldn't have left her in the room alone. - Better yet, we shouldn't have brought her with us at all."_ he growled.

 Sam winced, shaking his head. "Dean?"

  _"No, Sammy. It was dumb to bring her. She's a kid,"_

 "She's almost eighteen Dean." Sam argued, "I, we can't keep her from hunting if she wants to."

 Dean growled down the phone. _"I find it amazing that you spent almost your whole life complaining how dad dragging us into this life, and now you're willing to do the same thing!" he snapped angrily._

 Sam inhaled sharply. "I'm not dragging her into this, she was already part of this life the second Cas took Jimmy Novak as a vessel, and Crowley's demons killed her mom."

 Dean scoffed, and Sam sighed.

 "Look Dean, right now all I want to do is find my daughter, okay?"

 There was a long drawn out silence and then Dean exhaled down the phone _, "Okay. - It can't be a coincidence that Claire's vanished while looking into this vampire case. I'm going to head back to that motel we found Krissy at, ask some questions about the vamp."_

 Sam nodded, glancing around the room. "I'll keep an ear on the police radio."

  _"Maybe you should head back to Victor's place, he might know something that could get us a lead."_

 Sam nodded to himself, that made sense. "Yeah, I'll do that."

  _"Alright. I'll call if I find something."_

 "Same."

 With that, Dean hung up. Sam got to his feet and headed for the door.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

A sound from the darkness caught Claire's attention and he cracked open her eyes to see a hooded figured stalking towards her, instantly she scrambled off the bed only for her feels to turn to jelly beneath her and she crumpled. The figure let out a husky chuckle and Claire winched at the loudness of the sound.

 "Don't worry sweetheart, it'll all be over soon." he grunted, dropping to his knees in front of her. "Just a little while longer. We just need to make a little trip."

 He unlocked the chain around her ankle and Claire tried to lung forward, prepared to attack but she felt so weak. She'd started to shiver but her skin felt as if it was on fire. She felt sick to the very pit of her stomach as her insides churned and rolled. There was the overpowering scent of vomit that made her gag.

 Then she was being yanked to her feet and dragged out of the cabin and into fresh damp air.

 

  **__What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

Sam hurried up the path, taking the porch steps two at a time. His heart hadn't stopped racing since he's returned to the motel to find Claire gone. Taking in a huge gulp of air, Sam raised his fist and hammered on the door.

 He wasn't waiting long before the door swung open and Victor stood frowned up at him. "Sam?"

 "I need everything you have on these vampire’s attacks?" Sam demanded breathlessly, eyes desperate and pleading.

 Roger stared at him, "Of course, why the rush?" he stepped back, waving his arm for Sam to step inside.

 "My daughter's gone missing."

 There was a long silence, "Your daughter?"

 Sam nodded, "Claire. She came along with us on this hunt." he informed the older man, pacing the living room. "She was meant to stay at the motel and do research," he shook his head, "but she wasn't there when I got back."

 Roger was staring up at him again, features tight with worry. "How old is she?"

 "18." Sam answered, and sighed when he saw the somewhat judgement way Roger was staring at him, "She's adopted. She was the daughter of a…. friend, me and my…. partner took in when her mom died."

 "I though you and Dean didn't agree with training a new generation of hunters?" he asked, indignant.

 Sam met his gaze, "Dean didn't, I… I was…," he dragged his hand though his hair, "This is exactly what I was scared of, though. Just because Claire what's to hunt doesn't mean she should." he snapped, frustration and anger tinging his voice.

 "But you brought her on a hunt?"

 Sam sighed, pacing, "I - I hoped we could reach a compromise. I thought if I brought her on the hunt, I could show her just how hard this life is, then she'd reconsider college. She'd get out before it cost her…" he inhaled sharply, shaking his head, "She was meant to stay in the damn motel!" Sam spat, furious at himself and Claire.

 Roger watched him closely for a few minutes, then straightened his back, "Okay, Sam. Come into my office, I'll show you want I have."

 "Thank you." Sam inclined his head, hurrying to follow the man.

 Victor led him down the hall and through the kitchen, then down into the basement. It was dimly lit, which maps pinned to the walls and a computer in the corner behind a large wooden desk that looked like an antique. There was a roe of filing cabinets and yet more bookshelves. He couldn't make out the titles, but it was reasonable to assume this was where they kept the occult books. He'd planned on doing something similar with the house in Indiana, but never got the chance.

 Victor led him over to the desk and handed over a thick file. "This is all I have on the vampires we've come across so far."

 Sam flipped open the pages, scanning the details. "You never found the nest."

 Victor shook his head. "But its likely local. I'm sure we'll find it soon enough."

 Sam clenched his jaw, frustrated at the lack of information. Then he frowned down at the picture of the vampire Josephine had killed earlier, his brows pinching as something came back to him. When they'd returned to the motel, all he'd found was Claire's laptop, a notepad and a local paper dated three weeks ago.

 "Sam?"

 He looked up, eyes scanning the room as his mind put everything in place. The guy in Victor's files was on the front page he'd remembered briefly glancing at it when he lifted Claire's note pad. He was a returning war hero, but Josephine's parents had been killed months ago.

 Something caught Sam's attention over by the computer and he hurried over to it, lifting the paper and inhaling sharply as he caught sight of Claire in a gas station car park.

 Then the world when dark.

 

 

**__What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

 

Dean yanked open the hotel room door and marched up to the counter, shoulder bumping one of the guest on his way. The guy behind the desk stared at him, brows pinched with recognition. "Ah. Nice to see you again."

 "Yeah, I bet." Dean grunted, "Listen, I need to know who checked into room 215 earlier?" he reached into his pocket, pulling out a stack of folded bills. Counting out $60 and slamming it down on the counter.

 The clerk grabbed the bills, counting them before answering. "Some guy wearing a hoodie, so it was hard to make out his face."

 "Did he drive a blue van by any chance?"

 "Do I look like a valet?"

 Dean glared, he wasn't in the mood to play nice right then. Claire could be in danger and if it meant smashing this guy’s face into the desk, then so be it. Thankfully, one look at his face had the clerk spilling the beans.

 "He took one of those." he gestured to the display of flyers.

 Dean marched over, brows pinched. "Which one?"

 "One that says lodge on it."

 Dean pointed to the flyer, when the guy confirmed he tore it from the wall. "Conway Springs Lodge?"

 "Yup, big during the summer season, but this time of year it's closed."

 Dean gritted his teeth. Closed huh? Perfect place for a hide out. "How far away is it from here?"

 "It's a couple miles down the road."

 Without so much as a thank you, Dean rushed out of the hotel and back to the Impala.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

Claire groaned, burying her face deeper into the sweat soaked pillow, her knees pressed to her chest. The pain was like nothing she'd ever felt, and tears ran down her face. She clothes were wet through with sweat and rain from her trip outside.

 She'd been dragged back into the cabin an hour ago after a short trip to the local gas station. She'd hoped to take the opportunity of him letting her out of his sight to escape, but she'd barely made it fifty feet before he was dragging her back into the van and returning to the vile smelling cabin.

 Now she was alone once more, drifting in and out of consciousness, hungry and scared. She should never have left the motel room.

 She shook as a broken sob ripped through her at the realization that she was never going to see her dads again. That her stupidity was going to get her killed. Sam was never going to forgive her, and Gabriel…well, he was probably never forgive Sam, and it was all her fault.

  

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

 It was almost dawn when Dean pulled up to the cabin, rain tapping out an eerily comforting rhythm on the roof of the Impala. He'd tried to call Sam, twice but both time the line was engaged, he was probably talking to Gabriel again.

Shutting off the Impala, Dean got out and headed around to the boot to grab a machete, before cautiously making his way towards the cabin. He prayed he was right about this, and that he wasn't too late. If they were lucky the vamps hadn't killed Claire outright, but were rather holding her as food. It would make sense, especially with Victor and the others hunting them. It would work in their favor to hold Claire and lay low.

He paused outside the door, listening for any sight of movement before quietly tugging on the handle. The door opened without so much as a squeak and Dean exhaled a relieved breath. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out the flashlight and stepped into the dark interior.

The small hit him instantly and it took all his self-control not to throw up. He gaged silently and moved deeper into the large cabin, past empty bunks. A whimpering sound had him speeding up and he turned the corner to find a shaking heap on the bunk a few feet away.

"Claire!" Dean gasped, hurrying over to the teenager, turning her over and helping her sit up.

"D-Dean?" she whispered, voice weak and broken, she lifted her face to look and him and Dean's stomach dropped.

"Shit, Claire." he whispered, shaking his head and brushing her damp hair out of her face. "What did they do to you?"

"V-vamp-ire." she stuttered.

"No shit." Dean sighed, he got to his feet and marched over to the light switch.

"No shut them off," Claire whined, "It’s too bright!" dropping her head back down into the covers.

Dean swallowed thickly and hurried back to her, "I'm sorry, sweetheart." he whispered, "but I need to check." sitting her up, he tilted her head back and pulled back her top lip. "Have you feed?" he sniffed at her breath, only to recoil at the scent of vomit.

"Please make it go away," Claire wept, "It hurts so much."

Dean stroked back her hair, exhaling a long breath. If she was in that much pain, she hadn't fed, which meant there was still hope. "Where's the vamp that bit you?"

Claire shook her head, crying.

"It's okay, sweetheart." he pulled her into a hug, only push her away as her mouth met his neck. "No." he snapped, getting to her feet. "We're going to fix this, Claire, but you can't…"

Claire shook her head, "I know," she shivered. "I know."

Dean's heart pounded with panic. "The vamp that grabbed you," he asked, "was he wearing a hoodie and driving a blue van?"

Claire frowned, shaking her head. "I…yeah, yeah."

"Okay." Dean breathed, stepping up to Claire and helping her to her feet. "Come on, let’s get you out of here and then we'll find hoodie guy."

"Dean!"

Dean spun, eyes wide with surprise to find Krissy and her sidekicks stood glowering at him, guns drawn. Taking a deep breath, Dean took a step closer to the three newcomers. "Put those away and we can talk."

Krissy looked past him to Claire, "Why are you with the vampire that killed my dad?"

Dean frowned, looking back to Claire then returning his gaze to Krissy. "She didn't kill your pops." he argued.

"I don't want to hurt you, Dean. But I will if you don't _move_!"

"Listen to me, Krissy," Dean sighed, sliding his machete into his belt, "She's innocent,"

"And how would you know what?" Josephine asked, voice shaking.

Dean looked between the teenagers, "Because she's my niece." he stated firmly, "She arrived in town with me and Sam yesterday."

 "Your niece," Aiden scoffed, looking between Dean and Claire, "Right, sure."

 "She's fresh-made," Dean said, ignoring the boy, "Your dad was killed months ago."

 Krissy narrowed her eyes at him, "You never said you had a niece?"

Dean sighed, and reached for his pocket

"Hey!" Aiden yelled, taking a threatening step forward.

"Just getting my phone, to prove what I'm saying." he said, eyes fixed on Krissy. She nodded, and he continued, opening his phone and pulling up a photo of him, Sam, Claire and Charlie from a few months ago. He held out the phone to her, "Take a look. Check the date."

Krissy stared at the cell for a long moment before taking a step forward and accepting it, staring at it for a second before pulling up the information.

"That vamp that we killed last night?" Dean continued, "Why was he swearing he didn't do it?"

"Because he was a liar." Aiden sneered.

"Vampires don't beg for their lives," Dean shouted, "they attack!" he narrowed his gaze at the kid, finger raised in warning, "Last time I'm gonna ask nicely, take the damn guns off me or somebody's gonna get hurt."

"Big talk." Aiden scoffed.

"I know, it is, isn't it?” Dean smiled as he took a step forward and snatched the kids weapon before he had a chance to react.  He cleared the chamber and tossed it aside.

"So, let's say this isn't the vamp who killed my dad," Krissy said, voice shaking with confusion and hurt.

Dean sighed but didn't say anything.

"She's still a monster and deserves to die." Krissy muttered, dangerously, gaze fixed on Claire.

Dean took a step to the side, putting himself between the two teenagers. "We can save her."

"What?" Aiden scoffed disbelievingly.

"She hasn't fed yet. We can reverse this is we find her maker and get his blood."

"And why should we care about her?"

Dean took a step closer to the kid, hovering over him threateningly, jaw tight. "Firstly, because she's my family and if you lay a finger on her, I'll _kill_ you." he growled, "Secondly, hunting isn't always about _killing_."

Aiden inhaled sharply, his chest heaving.

"I want the bloodsucker who killed my dad to pay." Krissy insisted,

"And we're gonna find out what that is, but let's not be so bloodthirsty that just anyone will do."

"But Victor says it's her." Josephine argued, confused and panicked.

"And I'm saying it ain't. So, we're gonna pack her to go, and we're gonna ask Victor ourselves, okay?"

Krissy glanced over at Claire, who was doubling over again, eyes fixed on the other teenager. "Okay."

"Good." Dean nodded, turning away from the three teenagers and rushing back to Claire, "Come on," he muttered, helping her to her feet and wrapping a blanket around her shivering shoulders before leading her past Krissy, Josephine and Aiden.

"I'm coming with you." Krissy insisted when they got outside, "Just in case."

Dean rolled his eyes but nodded, helping Claire into the backseat.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

  

Sam came around tired to a chair in the living room. It took him a few minutes to get his equilibrium back and then came the flood of anger and panic. "Claire!"

"Finally, you're awake, good. We don't have much time."

"For what?" Sam seethed.

"Picture this…" Victor said, tossing over the table next to the couch, "The kids arrive home victorious," he paused looking back at Sam, a look of regret in his gaze, "Sorry about Claire, by the way. If I'd know she belonged to you, I would never have let my friend here turn her, such a waste of potential. A girl raised by a Winchester would be an excellent addition to the family, but can't be helped." he sighed, stepping over to the window, "Now, where was I? Oh, yes, returning victorious, only to find you dead, in their living room. Seems that next of vampires they were hunting was seeking revenge."

Victor paced over to the coffee table, over turning it with a loud crash. "And killed you, thus, inspiring them to hunt even more."

Sam gritted his teeth, shaking his head. His eyes were burning, and a tear rolled down his cheek.

Victor stepped over to him, voice low. "I'm sorry, Sam. I know what you're feeling," he shook his head, "but I can't have anyone poisoning my kid's minds."

"Other than yourself, that is." he spat furiously.

Victor's face contorted with fury, "I don't need to justify my actions to you or your self-righteous ass of a brother!"

Sam glanced over to the guy hovering in the doorway, watching as he opened his mouth and allowed his teeth to extend. "You mean like why you're working with a vampire? So, what's he get out of this? Free roaming rights?"

Victor sighed, "We are at war. A war that we are losing. That Leviathan fiasco was a wakeup call. We have to do what we can to survive." He dropped down onto the edge of the couch, leaning towards Sam, his voice calm once more. "You've got to understand, Sam. You’re a father. You know what it’s like to lose a child."

Sam swallowed thickly, chest heaving.

"But now I have a second chance to make it all right." he slipped to his knees in front of Sam, "To create the next generation of hunters. Stronger. Faster. Smarter."

The sound of the front door opening caught them all off guard, and they turned surprised when Dean stepped into the house.

"Hey, we're home." he called, before freezing in the doorway of the living room, his eyes flickering from Victor, who was back on his feet with his gun drawn, and Sam.

"Claire?" Sam gasped, eyes wide with panic.

Dean gave a reassuring nod as the kids stepped in behind him, and Sam relaxed, shoulders slumping for a moment as he took a deep breath, closing his eyes.

"What is going on here?" Josephine demanded.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

 

 

Claire stared up at the roof of the Impala, her heart pounding painfully in her chest. A familiar scent seeping in through the vents, calling to her. Closing her eyes, she listened to the buzz of the streetlamps and the insects going about their day in the lawn. Her body was trembling and humming restlessly. She forced herself to sit up, turning her gaze towards the house. She caught the distant sound of voices, muffle and angry.

 There was that smell again, the vamp. The son of a pitch that had turned her. He was in the house, in there with Sam and Dean. Gritting her teeth, Claire forced her body to cooperate with her will. She shoved the car door open and slid out, legs shaky.

 She shook her head to try and clear it and inhaled deeply. Sam and Dean were in danger. She couldn't lose more family. Not again.

 Claire stumbled her way around the house to the back door. The closer she got the clearer the voices inside became.

  _"These fake vampires were just a way for you to train us and fill our heads with lies?"_

 She recognized that voice as the dark-haired girl. Krissy, right? That's what Dean had called her.

  _"Don't you see? This is bigger than all of us."_ A stranger's voice said. "We have to learn to put things in perspective."

 Shaking her head once more to clear it, Claire bit her lip and reached for the door handle, turning it as quietly as she could. Stepping into the house she looked around, it was nice. Reminded her of home. Of Pontiac. Of Indiana. Of normal and safe.

 The sunlight gleamed off a carving knife next to the sink and she stumbled over to is, wrapping her shaky fingers around the hilt, then she slowly made her way towards the voices.

 The vamp caught her scent and turned before she could reach him. He rushed at her but was tacked to the ground by the dark hair guy who'd wanted to kill her, followed swiftly by the dark-skinned girl. But they were easily thrown off, then the vamp was on her, teeth bared and fingers around her throat. Around her the house was in chaos, and the scent of panic and fear was almost suffocating.

 Baring her teeth, Claire straggled against the vamps hold. When the guy attacked again, the vamp grabbed hold of him, yanking him down close to Claire. "Go on, beautiful, take a bite."

 The guy struggled, and Claire turned her face into his throat, inhaling the sweet smell of fresh warm blood.

 "Claire no!" Sam yelled, behind them.

 Then there was the familiar sound of an air gun going off and the vamp collapsed on top of them. Claire shoved him aside and grabbed the other teenager, rolling them over till she was straddling him, her teeth still bared.

 "Claire." Dean and Sam yelled.

 "You wanted to kill me," Claire seethed, narrowing her eyes. "Lucky for you, I had better teachers." she spat, pulling back her fist and bring it down on the guys nose with a satisfying crack. She climbed off him, stumbling to her feet and dragging herself over to Sam, who was still tied to the chair. "Hey, Dad." she panted, fussing with the ropes.

 Sam smiled warmly down at her, tears brimming in his eyes. The moment he was released, he pulled her into a hug, only for her to pull away, nose wrinkling. She shook her head and bared her teeth to him in silent explanation. Sam nodded.

 "If we want revenge for our families' deaths, he gives it to us." Krissy said, pulled everyone's attention to her and the older man.

 "We don't kill people." Dean reminded her. "You don't kill people."

 "He's not a person, he's a monster."

 "Krissy, this ends bad no matter what we do." Sam said, cautiously.

 "Exactly." Krissy muttered, pulling back on the hammer of her gun.

 "Krissy, don't."

 Claire stared, watching in anxious silence. Her legs going beneath her, Sam tightened his arm around her, dragging her over to the couch. The firing of an empty shot is the last thing she hears before passing out again.

 

**___What Doesn't Kill You___**

  

"Hey, sweetheart, drink this." Sam said, lifting Claire's head and pressing the mug to her lips. Claire gulped down the mixture desperately. "Slowly." Sam insisted, "Slowly." he brushed his hand through her hair, "That's it." he smiled.

 Claire lowered the mug when it was empty, her head spinning. "What happened?" she looked around at the now empty house, "With the guy?"

 Sam sighed, "Dead."

 "Krissy?"

 "No," Sam shook his head, "He shot himself."

 "Good." Claire nodded, licking at her lips and resting her head back on the couch. "Where is everyone?" she asked quietly.

"Dean and Krissy went to get rid of the bodies, and Josephine took Aiden to the emergency room to get his nose treated."

Claire lifted her head quickly, only to groan as the room span, "Sorry."

Sam smiled, "From what Dean said, he deserved it." he chuckled, "He's just lucky you weren't feeling 100%."

Claire scoffed, "Yeah. I doubt he'll agree."

Sam shrugged, "Who cares."

"What happened? I mean, all of it?" she waved her hand.

"I'll fill you in on the drive home."

Claire hummed, "Yeah. Home. - Wait, Gabriel?"

Sam stiffened, "I called him, told him you were fine. He wants you home as soon as you're feeling ready to leave."

Claire nodded, leaning to her right to stretch out on the couch. "Just a little sleep, first she said tiredly. Eyes already closed."

Sam stroked his fingers through the girl’s hair. "Yeah."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope that wasn’t too daunting. I know it was a little longer than I’d originally planned. This is not the end to Dean and Claire’s attempts at building bridges. I love Claire and Dean’s relationship. While I started this story before Claire was reintroduced in the series, this plot line was a nod to Claire’s incident with the werewolf in season 12. And I admit that having Claire punch Aiden in the nose was a personal fantasy, because frankly I wanted the little shit to get a punch in the face from Dean, but obviously that would be wrong. ;)

**Author's Note:**

> To keep updated on my works in progress or to drop me a line, you can find me on Tumblr at https://www.tumblr.com/blog/fanfictionbygatergirl79


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